No one who knows me will ever say I don't take my friendships seriously. There are my family memebers I got to pick. I don't have many. It hurts when I have to let one go, especially when other people are the reaason. It makes me frown to see other people's friendships break up because of other people. Breaking up because the dating rules is the worse.
What happened to the "code"? No better yet Let me rephrase the question. How many friendships are bound by the "code"? *sigh* The "code" aka The unwritten rules of friendship. The rule you don't break even if they say it's okay. And they approve, you don't do it because you are a true friend. The 2 rules I want focus on are1) DoNot date or purposly sleep with an ex of friend. 2) If interest in the same person and we both know it we check who that person is actually interested in and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.
This blog will focus on the rule: If interested in the same person and we both know it we should find if that person is actually interested and if so which friend and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.
Okay in High School I didn't abide by this rule for weird reason. If they weren't your boyfriend or boyfriend-like, he was free game to flirt with. Don't remember doing it often but I know I did it. As single as I was most of high school I should've never did that. Happy, I outgrew that in Adulthood (Praise Break) becasue that behavior is horrible.
I see friends flirt with the same person at the same time and I flinch. It is a disaster waiting to happen. Many time somebody is going to be rejected. I never competitive flirt with a friend.
My friend TT and I often see guys we both think are attractive. We give each other "the eye and more than likely just giggle. If she sees that Mr. "We think is Cute" is looking my way she'll nicely tells me. And if Mr. "We think is Cute"approaches her I step aside. Why compete? Most times Mr. "We think is Cute" is not looking at either of us. (that's why you find out if they are even interested)
I don't understand any adult that would let friends complete flirt over them. Clearly that person is just looking for the most "willing" friend. If you are not in a "willing" way why do it? In the long run both friend will get rejected in way or the other.
It's not worth a friendship. If friends are attracted to the same person it should be maturely discuss. Again another way to get to know your friends. If this happens and you are the friend that the interested party is not attracted to, yes walk away nice. It's okay, to be happy for your friend. Shouldn't be sore losers & haughty winners in friendship or dating.
Like Part 1, who disagrees? Who agrees? Who has gone through this? Let me know (comment box has been fixed so It's welcomed to all) No arguments!!! Agree to Disagree *another personal friendship rule*
Monday, October 22, 2012
Really Friend?!? Really??? Part 1
No one who knows me will ever say I don't take my friendships seriously. There are my family members I got to pick. I don't have many. It hurts when I have to let one go, especially when other people are the reason. It makes me frown to see other people's friendships break up because of other people. Breaking up because the dating rules is the worse.
What happened to the "code"? No better yet Let me rephrase the question. How many friendships are bound by the "code"? *sigh* The "code" aka The unwritten rules of friendship. The rule you don't break even if they say it's okay. And they approve, you don't do it because you are a true friend. The 2 rules I want focus on are1) Do Not date or purposely sleep with an ex of friend. 2) If interest in the same person and we both know it we check who that person is actually interested in and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.
This blog will focus on the rule: Do Not Date or Purposely Sleep with an ex of a friend.
I've been interested in this topic for a few years. I follow the Friendship Code closely. And the relationship parts I can't imagine breaking. Well some years ago I had to get concerned when a friend's (still my friend) interest in an ex of mine that was too much for my comfort. She only saw him once in passing at the fair. Then it become "Omg, he sexy" "Like y'all are just friends, now" I thought I had just step into daytime TV hell. I didn't know how to react but something to me to wait her behavior out. While I waited I would bring up the "code" up in conversation. Well after awhile when there a possible meeting between him and us again her statements changed to "Oh is he's going to have friends over for me to meet also"?.
Within the past decades I hear more friends dating their friends ex's than I used to. Most experiences are not positive ones. Friendships are being broken. Makes me think there "the code" no longer matters but all these broken friendships tells me it's not. Some say "They weren't really your friend". In many cases I might agree. I actually also think Friends need to have "code" conversations. After my experience I started having them with mine. Trust me you'll find out a lot about your friend if you do. Some say "what if it's true love" Perhaps but how often does this end in true love. Uh huh, that's what I thought.
I figured my friends and I have different tastes in the people we date but similar dating standards and values. Well if they broke up and probably because of something I think is not right. So why would I get their ex for us to got through that to.
Okay so who disagrees? Who agrees? Who has gone through this? Let me know (comment box has been fixed so It's welcomed to all) No arguments!!! Agree to Disagree *another personal friendship rule*
What happened to the "code"? No better yet Let me rephrase the question. How many friendships are bound by the "code"? *sigh* The "code" aka The unwritten rules of friendship. The rule you don't break even if they say it's okay. And they approve, you don't do it because you are a true friend. The 2 rules I want focus on are1) Do Not date or purposely sleep with an ex of friend. 2) If interest in the same person and we both know it we check who that person is actually interested in and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.
This blog will focus on the rule: Do Not Date or Purposely Sleep with an ex of a friend.
I've been interested in this topic for a few years. I follow the Friendship Code closely. And the relationship parts I can't imagine breaking. Well some years ago I had to get concerned when a friend's (still my friend) interest in an ex of mine that was too much for my comfort. She only saw him once in passing at the fair. Then it become "Omg, he sexy" "Like y'all are just friends, now" I thought I had just step into daytime TV hell. I didn't know how to react but something to me to wait her behavior out. While I waited I would bring up the "code" up in conversation. Well after awhile when there a possible meeting between him and us again her statements changed to "Oh is he's going to have friends over for me to meet also"?.
Within the past decades I hear more friends dating their friends ex's than I used to. Most experiences are not positive ones. Friendships are being broken. Makes me think there "the code" no longer matters but all these broken friendships tells me it's not. Some say "They weren't really your friend". In many cases I might agree. I actually also think Friends need to have "code" conversations. After my experience I started having them with mine. Trust me you'll find out a lot about your friend if you do. Some say "what if it's true love" Perhaps but how often does this end in true love. Uh huh, that's what I thought.
I figured my friends and I have different tastes in the people we date but similar dating standards and values. Well if they broke up and probably because of something I think is not right. So why would I get their ex for us to got through that to.
Okay so who disagrees? Who agrees? Who has gone through this? Let me know (comment box has been fixed so It's welcomed to all) No arguments!!! Agree to Disagree *another personal friendship rule*
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Straight to Women
Just read an article on Clutch Magazine. Topic was "She's Tired of Men... Now On To Women". Click Here to Read. My mind got to turning & swirling. Because I Think this topic has always been utter B.S. Wait, Wait, First, Let me answer question personally.
No, because I know I am Heterosexual. For me to do that would say I'm desperate not to be lonely. If I'm tired I'm tired. So it's time to step away for a while or forever. Maybe companionship is not in the cards for me. I will stop dating before I date a woman. That's my Honest answer.
This is one of the topics that proves that humans are liars. Who do we lie to the most? Ourselves!!!
Yes Lies to yourself. Answer these set question honestly. What about men makes you tired? Have you ever thought about the men you are dating? Attracting?
Yes, there are MANY trifling men out there. So many that there are days I wonder is trifling the norm and decency is the flaw. I'm serious. I could fill a half-way house with the liars, dawgs, & general a-holes that I've dated. But just as screwy these guys can make you ummm if you don't work on yourself screwy you can stay.
Next set of questions. Again Honest answers only. Are you really attracted to women? Could you be bisexual? Are you aware women have issues also. Are you aware Humans have the ability to be trifling.
I know a lady who decided to date women after dating men. Recently she decided to be honest and realize she was not attracted to women. It occurred to her that her girlfriend(s) always had to initiate sex. In her relationships with women she would have All of the same type of fights and I think at a more frequent rate as she did with men. If you're not interested in women, why date one. That's is lying to that woman. She would like to date someone whose interested. Wasting her time. I'm pretty sure she's would rather you knew sexuality before dating her. And yes, lesbian have arguments, fights, and issue also. Lesbians cheat, lie, and can be a-holes too. Umm, hello they are human!!!
Last questions to honestly answer. Do you give space in between relationships/rapports? Are changing your dating style and/or approach? Are you Lonely?
So many people (men & women) are so lonely out there. Lonely to the point that they will try and settle for anything. People, we can't be that lonely in life! That how the dating predators slip in. Loneliness make you vulnerable. Find what it's like to date you before dating anyone else for a while. Heal yourself. Check for scars, scrapes, bullet wounds,and well sometimes the bullet before getting back out there to date. While you out of the game keep tabs on so you won't be awkward when you come bad. I do it all the time.
No, because I know I am Heterosexual. For me to do that would say I'm desperate not to be lonely. If I'm tired I'm tired. So it's time to step away for a while or forever. Maybe companionship is not in the cards for me. I will stop dating before I date a woman. That's my Honest answer.
This is one of the topics that proves that humans are liars. Who do we lie to the most? Ourselves!!!
Yes Lies to yourself. Answer these set question honestly. What about men makes you tired? Have you ever thought about the men you are dating? Attracting?
Yes, there are MANY trifling men out there. So many that there are days I wonder is trifling the norm and decency is the flaw. I'm serious. I could fill a half-way house with the liars, dawgs, & general a-holes that I've dated. But just as screwy these guys can make you ummm if you don't work on yourself screwy you can stay.
Next set of questions. Again Honest answers only. Are you really attracted to women? Could you be bisexual? Are you aware women have issues also. Are you aware Humans have the ability to be trifling.
I know a lady who decided to date women after dating men. Recently she decided to be honest and realize she was not attracted to women. It occurred to her that her girlfriend(s) always had to initiate sex. In her relationships with women she would have All of the same type of fights and I think at a more frequent rate as she did with men. If you're not interested in women, why date one. That's is lying to that woman. She would like to date someone whose interested. Wasting her time. I'm pretty sure she's would rather you knew sexuality before dating her. And yes, lesbian have arguments, fights, and issue also. Lesbians cheat, lie, and can be a-holes too. Umm, hello they are human!!!
Last questions to honestly answer. Do you give space in between relationships/rapports? Are changing your dating style and/or approach? Are you Lonely?
So many people (men & women) are so lonely out there. Lonely to the point that they will try and settle for anything. People, we can't be that lonely in life! That how the dating predators slip in. Loneliness make you vulnerable. Find what it's like to date you before dating anyone else for a while. Heal yourself. Check for scars, scrapes, bullet wounds,and well sometimes the bullet before getting back out there to date. While you out of the game keep tabs on so you won't be awkward when you come bad. I do it all the time.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
All I Want You To Do Is:
VOTE
In my opinion Non-voters Should Not Complain and Whine when things are not going the way they think they should. If the Affordable Health Care Act is repealed, a non-voter does not get to complain. If Homosexual marriage becomes Federal Law, a non-voter should not be in protest. If all clinics that provide abortions close or taxes increase for the wealthy and decrease for the poor and middle class a non-voter's voice is one that should not be heard.
Want to be heard, It starts in the Voter's Booth.
I don't care who you vote for. I just care that you VOTE
In my opinion Non-voters Should Not Complain and Whine when things are not going the way they think they should. If the Affordable Health Care Act is repealed, a non-voter does not get to complain. If Homosexual marriage becomes Federal Law, a non-voter should not be in protest. If all clinics that provide abortions close or taxes increase for the wealthy and decrease for the poor and middle class a non-voter's voice is one that should not be heard.
Want to be heard, It starts in the Voter's Booth.
I don't care who you vote for. I just care that you VOTE
Monday, October 15, 2012
IDK...A Very Random Blog
Have you ever thought about the random conversations you have with strangers? This past weekend I did and I had to laugh to myself. On top of people telling me to smile (my "blank/nothing is going on look" draws concern somehow) all the time, random people will strike up a conversation with me. Yes, I am friendly most times. Rarely do I give them the "shut up" look.
This past Friday I was at a happy hour (yes, where shapewear needs to be enforced) and since I couldn't find my brown clutch bag that matched my outfit, I just went with my coin purse that has my keys & pepper spray hooked to it. I do it a lot. I carried that more than I did on campus during undergrad. I mean it was where my ID and essentials go everyday, so thought nothing of it. Well this man standing by the table asked me was that mine. I said yes. He then started talking about how bold I was to bring it inside. I had to tell him that it was hooked to my small purse & keys. Then he asked did I ever use it and hoped I did spray it in there. I finally said only if forced to. His buddy walked up and that was the end of that.
I know very random. Maybe he was sprayed before and had a fear of the stuff. Maybe that was the first time he had ever seen pepper spray indoors. Bless his heart!!!
But thinking over that lead me to think about all the conversations that are had with strangers. Along with the many memories that flowed. My mind started asking questions. What have I learned? What have I taught? How many strangers have I spoken with? How many should I have spoken to? How many will I speak to in the future?
Of course I didn't know the answer. Life's end might. And if it doesn't, "Oh Well". Just something else random in our "meaningful lives".
Oh Yeah Enjoy the Poem. Heard it a few years ago on Myspace. I like it!!!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
A Fashion Rant & Announcement
Announcement 1st: I am going to Stop investing girdles & shapers and invest in cheap tight fitting dresses and let it all hang out! Because apparently it is the fashionable thing to do.
Now the topic of this rant is not a surprise. I am tired of seeing women in tight fitting clothing without the proper foundation garments. This is not just to the Plus Size community. This is for Any woman who has an extra pudge on their body somewhere. It's like woman are not even trying to look decent.
Foundation garments are bras, girdles (capris, long leg, boxers, & brief panties, thong), shaping slips, shaping camisoles, waist cinchers, bustiers, and corsets. Foundation garments also come in firm, moderate, and light controls. They help you look smoother in your clothing. They can be bought so many stores that sell clothing & lingerie, from Walmart to Neiman Marcus.
I went out last night for happy hour and I literally saw a woman who I actually thought was pregnant. She wore about a 10 dress size, minus the tummy. But the way she dropped it on the dance floor, I knew clearly she could not be pregnant. She was wrong for wear a dress for tight it hugged around her stomach like that. Her boots were banging though. She was not the only one. Everywhere they is some woman who could look smoother is her clothing. Even on TV!!! I was watching Say Yes to the Dress and many times I wonder why are they trying on dresses without all their undergarments. Then, I see some once they are picking up their dresses and some getting married and I think "Cute Dress but she needed a girdle".
I'm not a fan of tight fitting clothes. I know I go a little extreme to some. I wear a moderate hold brief under my jeggings. Bought some and knew immediately which kind of shapers it needed. I spent more in foundation underwear in a year than I do in shoes. It is something I don't cut corner for. And don't let me see a sale. I'll go broke trying to buy more than one color or style. The only thing I want hugging on my body are the arms nice looking man. LoL
I've been wanting to say this for a while. Others including experts and style watchers have talked about it. It needs to stop. Come on Ladies, Let's Looks Smoother!!!
Now the topic of this rant is not a surprise. I am tired of seeing women in tight fitting clothing without the proper foundation garments. This is not just to the Plus Size community. This is for Any woman who has an extra pudge on their body somewhere. It's like woman are not even trying to look decent.
Foundation garments are bras, girdles (capris, long leg, boxers, & brief panties, thong), shaping slips, shaping camisoles, waist cinchers, bustiers, and corsets. Foundation garments also come in firm, moderate, and light controls. They help you look smoother in your clothing. They can be bought so many stores that sell clothing & lingerie, from Walmart to Neiman Marcus.
I went out last night for happy hour and I literally saw a woman who I actually thought was pregnant. She wore about a 10 dress size, minus the tummy. But the way she dropped it on the dance floor, I knew clearly she could not be pregnant. She was wrong for wear a dress for tight it hugged around her stomach like that. Her boots were banging though. She was not the only one. Everywhere they is some woman who could look smoother is her clothing. Even on TV!!! I was watching Say Yes to the Dress and many times I wonder why are they trying on dresses without all their undergarments. Then, I see some once they are picking up their dresses and some getting married and I think "Cute Dress but she needed a girdle".
I'm not a fan of tight fitting clothes. I know I go a little extreme to some. I wear a moderate hold brief under my jeggings. Bought some and knew immediately which kind of shapers it needed. I spent more in foundation underwear in a year than I do in shoes. It is something I don't cut corner for. And don't let me see a sale. I'll go broke trying to buy more than one color or style. The only thing I want hugging on my body are the arms nice looking man. LoL
I've been wanting to say this for a while. Others including experts and style watchers have talked about it. It needs to stop. Come on Ladies, Let's Looks Smoother!!!