Oh I'm Eclectic Now But... (African-American Music Month)

As Kerry Washington’s character in the “I Think I Love My Wife’ might have said, I used to have N-word Ears when I was younger.

And though I may be eclectic now, I will Always Love Black music. I don’t ever remember not Loving Black music. I grew up in a home & a community where music was played all the time. Most times (except Saturday afternoons when Lawrence Welk reruns and A Gaither (The daddies to the Oak Ridge Boys) Gospel Hour came on) it was Black music. We got dressed to it. We cleaned to it. We got our hair done to it. It was played at all the picnics, luncheons & barbecues. In my home we even slept to it. There was a blues juke joint on the corner of my street. My Foundation church is a 6 minute walk from my home. Across the street from it is a COGIC church. I was in the 6^th grade with the little girl who was their drum player. You could hear her play all outside of their church. She was good. (I’m going to ask her on FB does she still play sometimes) I grew up surrounded by black music.  My first memories of loving a song was a black song.

When I was preschool age, you couldn't tell me I was not Evelyn Champagne King. I knew all the words to Love Come Down. I could dance like her on the video. Yes, I had the two two-step sway down. Matter of fact I still do that move. At school while the radio was playing, I would sing along happily to this song.

I said at school because unlike parents now my mother didn't take kindly to children signing “Adult” songs out loud. She would ask in a minute “So what does that song mean” in a minute. My siblings and I would never be on YouTube, World Star, or Ellen singing “Super Bass”. We would be signing “Let It Go” or “HAPPY”. To my mom, Children should sing children songs, gospel included. Back then we had soulful children singers and somgs so we didn't lack in that experience. Oh but I loved that song. King had a pure voice that was telling a story (That I didn't know the meaning of until I was a teenager. Yes, I was Shocked too) about love whole heartedly.

Black music still plays a significant role in my life. Even the newer stuff out. Happy by Pharrell makes me Happy like everyone else. Oh and Drake is turning the rap game around for me. Yes, Jimmy of Degrassi: The Next Generation has my ear. I get dressed to Fancy and Worst Behavior just like these young girls, too. The guy has flow. Then there is Jhene’ Aiko with a song called The Worst. As the kids say, that song gets me all in my feelings. The hook says:

I don't need you

I don't need you

I don't need you

I don't need you

I still want you

I don't mean to

I don't mean to

I don't mean to

I don't mean to

But I love you

Oh I like it. This Picture Quote describes my feelings for the song perfectly.

Oh I love to hear new music by the older artists. The new Michael Jackson (without Justin Timberlake version) Love Never Felt So Good http://youtu.be/GJDdBbgJafU is a banger. Some company has it in a commercial and I stop and bop around every time I hear it. LoL Then there is Prince with Breakdown http://youtu.be/iE6g-jnEhew & Breakfast Can Wait http://youtu.be/GHbyNrGXpAA. I don’t know a Prince song I dislike. You know “Purple Rain” is 30 years old. Once I was old enough to understand the lyrics to Purple Rain & Darling Nikki 

 I declared him The Musical Genius.   

Love Come Down can come on now and instantly I turn into that little girl in day care. Swaying thinking I had a flower in my hair and a flowing dress. That’s the kind of feelings Black music gives me.

My N-word Ears still left me a memory clone or two of themselves as I ventured into other music. I’ll never abandon them as the music has never abandoned me. Bobby Womack passed this weekend. RIP He sang a song called No Matter How I Get http://youtu.be/4cvQMmsGkLg. It’s my favorite song by him. Well, Black Music that song is for you. No Matter How High I get…

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

It’s Big Brother Time!!!

Thursday, Wednesday & Sunday’s I watch the Best Mind Screw of game. Its name is Big Brother. Season 16 has kicked off. I blame my mother. She was a fan of this game while I was away at school. I came home and got sucked in. It also didn’t help that the season (Season 5) I started watching there was Outspoken_Diva approved Eye Candy in there named Marvin.

Last season (15), there was Eye Candy in the house named Howard.

 Oh and yes the Big Brother gods heard me complaints from seasons of non-Outspoken_Diva approve Eye Candy and granted me with one this year by the name of Devin.
*swoon* That is the physical type I have been attracted since I was five years old. I’m going to date one those one day before I get married. I got close but no cigar. LoL Now, let’s hope he’s a good guy. Marvin was a little chauvinistic at times so we are hoping he has better manners. If they all could be like sweet, sweet Howard, who let the Lord fight is battles in the house for the most part.

Umm I’m actually on the fence about this season of Big Brother (16). Just after the two day premiere, I already find it convoluted for no good purpose other than because CBS can do what they want with their show. This season has some new twists.

Two Heads of Household – Not one, but two HoHs every week. That also means we’ll see double the nominees with four HGs on the chopping block.

HoH doesn’t mean safety – You might win HoH, but you aren’t safe yet. One of those two HoHs will still be at risk by the end of the week.

Battle of the Block – To figure out which noms & HoH remain there’s a new competition called ‘The Battle of the Block. In this competition, the four nominated HGs would face off in pairs and battle for safety. If they won then the HoH who put them on the block would be dethroned and the nominees would gain their own eviction-redemption themselves

Team America – Viewers will vote to influence the game, that the viewers would be voting over the first few weeks to name 3 individual HGs to become part of a secret alliance, Team America. This team of players will then go on to complete secret challenges and tasks. One player has been picked already. Her name is Joey.

Everything but Team America is complicated. Just nominate, safe yourself, and vote. The only thing I like about this Battle of the Block is that is reduces the petty “I don't like so and so put them on block" nominations. I hate those especially when the reasoning is pitiful.

I have some people other than I like. Jocasta, Donny, Christine & Nicole are my favorites so far. They seem nice so far. I wish we had TVGN so I could watch Big Brother After Dark. *sigh* I could really see how they really act without the network edit. Taking that show off Showtime ticks me off. I didn’t like it last year and I don’t like it this year. But I see many on Twitter complain about that the TVGN version is censored and have commercials. Censored or not I miss BBAD.

Yes, I already want three to Go Home Now. One is a HOH named Frankie. Ariana Grande is his sister. Paola and Zach round off my list. All have Grossly stereotyped (Christians, Homosexuals, Conservatives & Midwesterners) someone in the house from the moment they have met. When the first fight break out, I see Zach being involved already. All are annoying and talk constantly. I want them gone.

Well I’m off to read a Big Brother spoiler or two. I can’t wait until the network shows on Sundays & Wednesdays so I follow sites that watch Live Feeds (Keep me from giving other's side eye when they talk about celebrity gossip that i am not interested in). The network show just give me a picture version of what I already know. Thursdays, I have to join the masses and watch the Live show and react accordingly to the eviction. Oh here is a list of the sites I follow.

Big Brother Source
http://bigbrother16.com/

I Hate Big Brother
http://www.ihatebigbrother.com/

Big Brother Network
http://bigbrothernetwork.com/

Here's a list of most frequently used abbreviations for Big Brother because this will be handy on these sites. Luckily one of them had a list.

AC - America's Choice
AP - America's Player
AV - America's Vote
BB - Big Brother
BBT - Big Brother Time
BBAD - Big Brother After Dark
BBLF - Big Brother Live Feed
BOB - Battle of the Block
BY - Backyard
DE - Double Eviction
DOR - Drop Out Request
DR - Diary Room
FF - Fast Forward
FOTH - Front of the House*
HG - Houseguest
HOH - Head of Household
LC - Luxury Competition
LD - Lock Down
MVP - Most Valuable Player
NOM - Nominee
POV - Power of Veto
QC - Quad Cam
TA - Team America

Well here is to another season of Big Brother 16. Good luck to the All the House Guest. Do you watch Big Brother? Who are your favorites? Dislike? Do you like this season’s twist so far?  Let me know in the comments and Expect the Unexpected!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Help Me Understand: The Proud Songs of Adultery (African American Music Month)

Now you guys know I can’t go without fussing at people at some point. African-American Music Month is No Exception. Hey, if you didn't want me to “Soap Box” you, then “Make It Stop”!!! Thanks to one of my Favorite web show commentary shows, “Things I Learned This Week”, I learn "Dumb B-word" maybe subliminally said in Piece of My Love by Guy. You can hear it at 3:17 - 3:23 on this video. I believe it. I Loathe this song. The first verse starts with

You can have all of me. 

But I’m not going to be free

As my grandmother says, “He’s bad news”. I Loathe all songs of its genre I call, “Adultery Music”. If you follow me on Twitter you know I down right Detest “Adultery Music”. It’s very easy explain with one question. “What is so Melodic about having an affair”?

Oh I don’t blame Guy for putting out a song of such stature because there many songs, many made in the 70’s - 80’s, which promote such behavior. As young child, I heard the song You, Me and He by Mtume. The chorus said:

You, Me and He

What we gonna do, baby

Clearly there are too many people in this relationship. Then the female lead sing,

There's somethin' I wanna say

Try and understand

There's another in my life

He's my lover and I'm your wife

Do what? Did she tell her Husband that she is sleeping someone other than him and to be cool about it? Later in the song you find out it is about a husband and wife discussing their issues so they can eventually work them, okay. But the song walks a slippery slope in my mind. Then I started paying attention to the Saturday Morning Housework/At the Salon Old School mix and my eyebrows would raise up more. Billy Paul’s Me and Mrs. Jones and Luther Ingram’s (If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right would be playing, I would listen and my mouth would drop. They said “Learn to Listen and Listen to Learn” so that what I was doing. I was learning the people lived so foul lives and liked bragging on it. What is the craziness is people adore these songs. (If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right was even used a clever quip in a few sermons I have heard over the years. Why be upset with Pastor Jamal Bryant for using Loyal by Chris Brown in a sermon? Clearly he was in good company when using foul lyrics to make a good point. Oh wait I’m getting sidetracked.  I’m talking about “Adulterous Music” not “People who like to jump on Christian preachers for Everything they do Not So Right”. No Plans for a blog on that but be warned.  I am still wondering how many crazy “Mr. Jones” out there thought Billy Paul was talking about loving on their wives in 1972. How many if any, "Mr. Jones" committed acts of domestic violence because of this crazy song? Frightening to think about. Adultery can be dangerous.

Those are not even the songs of Adultery that Grate my nerves the most. Two songs make me give the world side eye. Poor Whitney Houston! She couldn't rest in peace the day after we found out she left this world without me rolling my eyes at her. Why did I roll my eyes at her? The song Saving All My Love was being played. Oh I know Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr first recorded it but the song is one of Houston hits, so she gets the blame. The songs says she is waiting for a man who is already someone else’s husband & father. What? The lyrics of the first verse clearly say,

A few stolen moments is all that we share

You've got your family, and they need you there

Though I've tried to resist, being last on your list

But no other man's gonna do

So I'm saving all my love for you

Sound like the woes of the side piece, to me. We detest side pieces. That’s why folks hate “Scandal” and “Being Mary Jane”. Oh but it okay for folks to belt out this song. This is disturbing. I remember when Steve Urkel sung it to Laura Winslow on the American sitcom "Family Matters". I felt like I was the only person who thought this song was wrong. Still there is another Adulterous song, you guys love the Belt Out even more. As We Lay has to be the most Beloved Adulterous song known to man. Well, at least in the realm of Black Music. I only know one person who is disgusted by this song like I am. My mother will change the TV or radio when this song comes on. When Kelly Price remade this song originally sang by Shirley Murdock and she was livid. “Why would that girl waste her voice on such a gross song”, my mother said. The song is gross and folks love to sing it. No, people love to sing the heck out of this song. So many talent shows with such graceful and melodious voices have been marred in my eyes with this song. I would hear someone perform this song on the Amateur Night section of Showtime at the Apollo and I wanted to act like my mother and change the channel. Fun Fact: The lyrics “We should have counted up the cost but instead we got lost” was added by Shirley Murdock during recording the song. She didn't think the song was remorseful at all.

I just don’t understand the craze of songs that are about Marital Affairs. I also don’t understand the lesser amount of songs telling married folks off in music. Husband by Shirley Murdock on a later album (http://youtu.be/SYyVMFgsW68) is a Clear example of what you say to some of these low down People that want to creep. You be straight with these married people wanting to be in a relationship with you. Oh because noticeably thanks to Aaron Hall they are still quietly calling you a Dumb B-word when you date them despite their marital status. Ooh I'm going to make a song "Out my Face, You're Married". Going to be a Chart Banger. LoL

Songs of Adultery or Cheating are dying down. The only “current(ish)” song by black singers I could think of is Unfaithful by Rihanna. Y’all are free to tell me more of them in the comments. The song topic can die and not resurrect. There are enough out there and no more room is needed for any more.
Oh and Pop & Country music, this not you month but, the message of the post is for you also. Stop Proudly signing about Cheating and having an Affair like it is something cute. And Don’t shake the Scandal finger at me, go take that some finger and click on one of my blog posts about Scandal.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

B-Sides & Indies (African-American Music Month)

Is there a person that is friends with Everyone but you Only fool with them when they are with your friends? You don’t dislike them but they irritate you enough for you not to like them. What irritates you about them? They are always talking about the same stuff. They are just a repeat of a repeat of a repeat. That is my rapport with the Radio. I don’t listen to the radio. I don’t mean to be the music weirdo but the radio plays the Same Music all the time. I hate that about the radio. Everybody does. I am just true about my feelings and boycott listening to it. I know I don’t know “the new” most time. If you every see me at a trendy night spot and something new & popular, I’m sitting there clueless while Everybody else is bobbing along.

Like my movie choices I like the obscure track of the popular artist (I call those the B-sides. (From when we had tape single and lesser known hot song on the other side of the song that you actually bought the tape for) I usually like the B-side song also) and of course music from Indie (I don’t understand why they are not discovered. (Blame Pop Culture) Artists. I think I’ve always like been a music fan like that. I remember in high school I had Another Bad Creations’ Second album and nobody else did or even asked to borrow it. Who know Jamie Foxx First song and video was Infatuation in the 1990's (http://youtu.be/ECXLvAmAP48). I loved this Jamie Foxx Way better than the one blaming his actions on alcohol. His voice was so pure. That is what I love about the non-popular music by popular artists and indie artists. It's pure and not tainted by pop culture. It is also not played to death by radio DJ’s. I’m just a sucker for good unadulterated music.

I love channels like VH1 Soul and Centric for having shows, like Sub Soul, VH1 Soul Player, Centric Hits & Soul Sessions that introduce/ give us a listen to artist and songs that main stream radio is Not playing. Bounce TV also has a show called Bounce Beats that shows some of the “not as popular” artist’s videos among those of the popular.

Here are some ditties for you guys to jam out to. The video is Ms. Sunshine Anderson. We rocked out to her hit “Heard All Before” (http://youtu.be/NGMInHRR2Fo) “I had shut yoouu doowwn”. LMBO Well Lunch or Dinner is my “Mentally Flirting” Theme Song. Because in my mind, my “flirt game” is flawless. Yeah, I said in my mind. More like “Speechless” (http://youtu.be/qOpXYcNDyqU) by Kelly Price (Yeah I hate to still like this song after her “antics” on R & B Divas LA but good music is good music) is my “flirt/lack of game”. Yeah if smile, blush, and look away when he sees me is game, then I’m on it. The chorus of the song is my perfect line in my mind.

Since I'm who you want

And need in your life

Then we should do lunch

Or dinner sometime

I love this song. It’s in my “Getting Dressed Secular” playlist. One day I’m going to use that line. LoL Here is there of the list of some of my favorite “non-popular” songs.

Robert Glasper Experiment Gonna Be Alright (F.T.B.) [feat. Ledisi] (Yeah that Ledisi!!! Oh the beginning beat!!! It's Two Stepping Time!!!)
http://youtu.be/nlWXsfjHeA8

Charlie Wilson Without You (I feel in love this gem my first year at Lamar University. He has song called "No Words" that I like, also.)
http://youtu.be/2PPpTNjYUgw

337 Caramel Cutie Keith Frank (I know Zydeco fans who don't know this song)
http://youtu.be/4Ic3O0AC--g

Avery*Sunshine All In My Head (Love this Self-Checking song)
http://youtu.be/pvB1FYVDdng

Lalah Hathaway Naked Truth (I Love this song by Lalah Hathaway!!!! Who is probably my Favorite Secular Artist)
http://youtu.be/wyJccJv1ABw

BVSMP I Need You (A DJ played this song in Beamers once a few years ago and I think only the DJ and I Knew this Oldie but Goodie Indie)
http://youtu.be/4WtAFUdbr4c

ANQUETTE I Will Always Be There For You (One more Oldie but Goodie Indie. I think this might have inspire a few notes to an old crush or two)
http://youtu.be/K7ojf7z_Zds

Esperanza Spalding  Fall In (She upset Beliebers by getting the Grammy in 2011. She's performed at the White House. Have you heard this lady on the radio?)
http://youtu.be/lWmypu1N8_4

Raheem Devaughn B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend)  (I still don't understand why this song is Not popular. Every Male Revue should be playing this song. Can you imagine the cash flow from just this song.)
http://youtu.be/0C9-d9hYbvE

Leela James  Fall For You (She will be on R&B Divas LA and my BFF Love doesn't know who she is. *sigh* There is a problem Here is her newest song)
http://youtu.be/CjOIQnCbDU0

Heather Headley Wait a Minute (While we all were to jamming "He Is" & "Gotta Go", I was jamming this too)
http://youtu.be/HaNqe1N-Syg

Jermaine Paul Butterfly Kisses (How do you win a National contest, The Voice, yet get no radio play? *sigh* Had it not been for Bounce Beats on Bounce TV, I would've missed the sweet little song)
http://youtu.be/1zmj_AdF0po

I could on and on. You know I can. So, you know I’m going to ask. What are your favorite “indie”, “B-side” or “non-popular”? Leave them in the comments below. I’m always “in tuned” for hearing good pure music.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Not Interested in Dating: Those on Parole or Probation

So you guys to blame this post appearance on #FelonyCrushFriday because of Mr. Jeremy Meeks mug shot.  Yes, I said mug shot. I just want it to stop.

I don't understand what is ever cute about a Known criminal. I don’t date criminals (caught or not caught). You cannot be involved in Any illegal activities and date me and I know about it. I’m not that kind of chick. Now as for former criminals (except child molesters, terrorists, rapists, serial killers, & domestic abusers) that have turned their life around and will never return to your old ways, I will date you. I will date you After your probation and/or parole period is over. I only date Free men.

I've dated a man on “papers” before. I think he was on Standard probation. He just had to check in during the day twice a month. My experience was not as near of a headache as many others. Number 1, I was young so I had an innocent tolerance that I lack now. Number 2, I didn't have the same dating requirements about Time I have now. I do require some time to date me. Gone are the days when I can go weeks at a time and not lay eyes on you and you are still considered my boyfriend. That was cute for the busy with fun time under 25 crowd. I’m not that daggum fun time busy anymore.

Yes, Time and Freedom are the variables that stop me from dating men on parole & probation. They work hand in hand like two justice system twins. I remember a guy that flirted with me during my days of ticket sales work that lived in a halfway house. As nice and sweet as he was I always left it at flirting. He had a 9 pm curfew. Let’s just say I was in my early 20’s when I didn't get dressed to go out until 10. I couldn't even imagine going out on a date then and being home by 8, 8:30 so he wouldn't get in trouble. I'm older now and still can’t see myself doing that. I remember a former friend was married to a guy and he could go to an out-of-town family wedding because it was not approved. I've seen guys with ankle monitors at church making sure they make their “where about” call. My heart bleeds for them when I see it. I know they did the crime so they have to do the time but they are still not free to spend their time the way they want to.

That is who I want to date. Men who are free to live their law-abiding life. I stress law-abiding because many folks get out of jail not reformed. I will date a former criminal but First, he must be reformed. He can’t go back to “that” life that leads him to jail and dates me. And once he is free from all obligations of his sentence inside & outside the prison, he can approach me. So only, Totally Legally Free men can date me.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Relaxer Stretch Journey (It's My Hair)

Sorry Team Natural I was not transitioning for the big chop. I was relaxer stretching. Team Natural & the Fashion Fair counter ladies can't stand me. They are always questioning how I am supposed to look like as a Black Woman. I really wish the Naturalistas & Johnson Publishing Company get their people in line.

So I have completed my 1st relaxer stretch. What is Relaxer Stretching?  This is when you extend the period between two relaxer sessions. You go longer than you normally would in between getting relaxers. Most people (including me) usually retouch their relaxers 6 weeks. Stretching relaxers can thicken your hair.  Hair tends to become thinner over time if you are overlapping relaxers on your hair.  Overlapping relaxers happens when you relax previously relaxed hair.  By stretching your relaxer, your new growth becomes more prominent and therefore easier to see when applying the relaxer.
For a year I kept tinkering with Relaxer stretching. I had my haircut into a bob last year. This me on my birthday.

As cute as I was, I wanted to do something new with my hair. So I decided let me give this "grow my hair thing a try again" I kept seeing talk about relaxer stretching. I even followed a Stylist/Blogger Stretching Series named Latoya Jones on YouTube at the beginning of the year. So I decided I would try this. I would get to week 8 and slap on some chemical. Well my last relaxer was in February.

Well around week 5, I was blow drying my hair and decided that I going to do the stretch for real this time. 

So here I am at Week 6.

Usually I would be getting a relaxer. But Ms. Jones said it is safe to get a relaxer once you get have 2 inches of new growth. That usually takes 16 weeks (10 weeks passed  the usual retouch time) Now go look at a ruler. 2 inches!!! I barely had 3 centimeters. But I stuck in there. 

What did I use?

A Clarifying Shampoo (2x's)

A Moisturizing Shampoo (1x)

Conditioner (used Deep Conditioner once a month)

A 6 week Reversion Smoothing Serum (I like that brand. I tested another brand for another company (Can't tell the brand yet, still "testing". I hate it) (I take one week off and start again after every cycle)

Blow Dryer

Flat Iron 

Edge Control Stick

Two Satin Scarves (I like to flat iron my hair once a week. Hair does Not need that much heat. Plus I am lazy and like to sleep until the last minute. Satin scarves keep my hair in place and pretty straight)

Here is Week 7 (First week of the "stretch").

I got it pretty straight. It was cute. I felt like I can do this. This won't be so bad.

Week 9 was funny. I was going to my cousin's wedding. And I had sweated a lot in Line Dance Aerobics that week. I had been wearing my hair down and I didn't have time to wash my hair. So I put it up in a chignon and parted out some bangs to "hide" the new growth in the front. 

I was cute had on a "new to me" strapless dress. I debuted my "lollipop lips". You couldn't tell me nothing at my foundation church that night. 

Week 12 was where the work really kicked in. I was almost a month away. I washed my hair and  I couldn't find my any fake hair. So I had to wear my hair down. I had my niece & nephew's godfather's funeral to attend. Problem was I could stop sweating because the fan in my bedroom stop blowing the night before. I looked okay that day but by time for me to wash my hair. My hair was so big.

Yes, that hair is screaming wash me. Oh and yes, I got a new fan for my room. Sweat is the enemy of a relaxer stretch. Trust me!!! I don't sweat often but when I do...it pours from my body. I need an ice water I.V. just talking about it. LoL

Last week of the stretch. So I decide to take these pics of my last week before my relaxer. The first picture is where my new growth stops indicated by my finger (Yeah, I finger parted it. So it looks funny). The next two pictures is my hair wash, blow dried & flat ironed with a little bump. Don't be fool by the clean look. It's thick in there. I'm looking at the back. Once my stylist relaxes and trims my hair properly, my hair will probably not be as long as I envisioned it but it will be thicker and healthier. That's what is important. 

 

Well I ended up roller setting my hair. It has rain a few days this week so the weather is humid. I went to a outdoor event at the Fair Park so this hairstyle is perfect. 

 

I was at my one of best friend's we will call T.T., birthday event, the day after the out the outdoor event. My "little" brother, BJ said He now knew what I would look like with a natural and he approved. (He has Team Natural tendencies so yeah he gets side eye a lot). On the way to the venue I was concerned because my edges weren't  matching the curls in my eyes. But in this photo taken by my BFF, Love, my hair looked fine. Yeah My hair was ruling me for a moment. 

During the stretch I only wore my hair in 3 styles, a bumped wrap, updo, pulled back braided bun (bun is unraveling, need a new one), and a roller set. 

My tresses will be in the hands of my long time stylist, Adrienne. I've been with her 20 years, this year. I trust her. So what ever hairstyle she envisions will be my hairstyle. 

So are you ready for the reveal. Introducing Adrienne's "Betty Boop". But first look at me under the dryer. 

 
I don't like being under dryer. It's boring. I can't hear and if someone is talking to me I feel like I am screaming. Okay I'm stalling. Here is the style result of my first relaxer stretch.

 

I just pin curl it a night and as the curls fall I will wrap it. Do you like it? I do!!!

Will I do a relaxer stretch again? Yes!!! Unless it is an emergency, I'll go 16 weeks between relaxer touch ups from now on. My hair feels great and full. Got a little more length to the hair. I like the results.

I told you guys I followed the Relaxer Stretch tips from a Hair vlogger who is also Hairstylist. Her name is Latoya Jones. Her YouTube Channel is https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkjr8TmEu7Hv_GvfWkpVYbw
Her Blog is http://www.latoyajonesblog.com/
She gives great tips and her Vlog is very helpful. Go Check her out.

Any other questions, leave them in the comments below or Email OUTSPOKEN DIVA at
c.out.spoken.diva@gmail.com

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Line Dance Music (African-American Music Month)

Oh the music & dance style that is appropriate for all ages, religions, creed, gender, sexuality, and races, Line Dance. I love to line dance. I even go (when I am focused) to line dance aerobic classes .They are always popular & trendy. Actually Line Dances never get old. I guess my first line dance was the "Hokey Pokey". LoL What? Oh you call that a Action Song. Ok semantics, semantics. Then my first official line dance was The Electric Slide. I am Shocked at anyone that can't do the The Electric Slide. Matter of fact that's how I realized I was judgmental. In middle school, during the dance portion of P.E., I couldn't believe and understand the kids that didn't know how to do the Electric Slide. LoL It was one of the respectable dances we were allowed to do a the youth socials at Foundation church. Foundation church was where I learned it. The teachers being the Youth Directors, including my own mother. I know, she's that kind of cool.

I am listing users on YouTube that I follow that give line dance instructions. I use them a lot especially when I feel to sluggish to go to aerobics but not so sluggish not to want to dance.
dallaslinedancing101
https://www.youtube.com/user/linedancingindallas/videos

Steph's Line Dancing
https://www.youtube.com/user/StephsLineDancing/videos

JandJSoulfulSteps
https://www.youtube.com/user/JandJSoulfulSteps/videos

linedancedr
https://www.youtube.com/user/linedancedr/videos

StepInTheNameOfLife
https://www.youtube.com/user/StepInTheNameOfLife/videos

thearchiebexperience
https://www.youtube.com/user/thearchiebexperience/videos

There so many line dances out there at this point. So here are a few of my current favorite songs. Same Ol' Two Step (Above) is my favorite of the current stuff. In my mind, I am the cutest person doing that dance. LoL It's so easy too.

Zydeco Bounce
http://youtu.be/rZFxt1tMgRs

Sanctified Slide (I can imagine if this was out when I was younger at the youth socials...)
http://youtu.be/yvmiEaRX1n8

Bunny Hop (Do y'all know I had been dancing to this song for years at parties and didn't notice the profanity until like 3 years ago. To Busy bopping, I guess LoL)
http://youtu.be/f3NtLug739E

Wobble
http://youtu.be/3lCJWB8JYbI

Hallelujah Slide
http://youtu.be/J751U2mpmAQ

Cupid Shuffle (He has a new dance (Wham Dance) and Yes, I'm learning it)
http://youtu.be/h24_zoqu4_Q

Gospel Slide
http://youtu.be/ecmfT6oH6ts

What are some of you favorites? Let me know in the comments. Alright get to dancing. Don't blame me when you're getting side eye and funny looks on the floor messing up the dances. LMBO

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Happy Birthday Miss Smiles!!!

Yeah, I did something cliche' for my birthday. LoL The last time my birthday was on a Monday, I turned __ and that is considered one of the "Big" ages. My family surprised me with an ice cream cake. Then I went out to eat with my BFF We will call "Love" for this blog and a former friend (Don't look at me crazy. If you read my blog you know my friendship temperaments). Dinner was winding down and I up and decided I wanted a Tattoo. I always wanted one (somewhere on my foot (most people around me don't have foot tattoos) or toe), a small Smiley Face but I never felt like it was ever the right time. Until then.

I might need to bring that hairstyle back

So off we go. I found the perfect one with assistance from the group, who are actually "Walking, Talking Pieces of Paper" themselves. The Perfect Smiley Face. So I got one.

Yes, I'm fast. I have on a skirt.
That skirt is slightly too big now and goes past my knees. LoL
#weightlossbrag

It hurt a little. Like a continual booster shot but then I can look at people putting those in my arm and not move. Finally, Miss Smiles was born.

Miss Smiles is a reminder that God Blessed me to live a "Happy Life". Why my foot? If my feet hurt, I hurt. LoL For some odd reason I get comfort in rubbing my feet. I have literally been going through and noticed myself rubbing my feet as I pray. Plus No One I know has one on their foot. Point Blank, that's the story.

Happy Birthday, Miss Smiles!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Proud to be a Dead Beat’s Daughter

I'm in a small population of people that does Not blame her absent father for the crappiness in her life. I am in a small population of people that Never longed or wanted her parents to be together again. I can’t want something that I never knew to happen. I know it’s weird to say but that is how I feel.

I don't live a bad life. All my needs have always met. I live a happy life. I am Blessed. I don’t see where having my father in my life would have made it better. Maybe if he was a better person maybe but he wasn’t. I actually think thing may have been worse. Even as a child, we (my siblings & I) were better off with a single mother. No fighting parents (stepparent for my siblings). I never experienced violence in our home. Matter of fact I maybe the most volatile person in my home. Which I was reminded by other family member that was something I inherited from him. I've seen other family members on my mother's side, he not the only family member I got from. LoL My mother never talked bad about my father. Actually unless she had to speak about him all she didn’t. But he (who I mostly saw by random accidents) talked bad about her and her family, the family that raised me. Especially my grandfather, who was my main father figure. I never liked that. He was not doing anything but vileness had the audacity to leave his lips. So by the time I was 21, I decided he & I didn't share values, goals & respect about life & people, so being in each other’s lives would not be likely. The last time I saw him was downtown on the bus stop on my way home from summer school during my undergrad days. I saw him and was about to speak when he said “What’s you name”? Most people would've went off. I didn’t. I told him, “Your daughter”. And like all other random times I would see him, he was fatherly. Even told me that I needed to get my grades up after telling him my average GPA. He didn't care much about school after high school. He was a Track & Field man. He eventually became a certified official for young people‘s track & field events (Yes, it’s were I get my love of the sport from). I guess wanted me to be the best I can be at what I chose to do. The last time I spoke to my father was a year before his passing when he called to tell me his mother died. He caught up on my life (college graduate & business owner) and finally sound less bitter at my mother and family.

In my blog post, The Decision has Been Made, Just Be Still I told you about my experience & feelings when my father passed away. I didn't go to the funeral. Why show up now and be daughterly in death and I was never that way in life. I respected & loved  him as the vehicle the Lord used to give me life. But I truly think that was all he was supposed to be. If I'm wrong I'll find out later. He was not the one of the people to raise me and get me to become viable citizen of this world. I guess that’s why I don’t blame his absence for any screw up I made in life. Many blame their absent parents, I can’t. I know enough about him to understand my physical & mental health. I just don't see how my life would be better if he had play a more active role in my life. I refuse to play the “should've, could’ve, would’ve” game with that part of my life. I think it is perfect as it is.

Well Father’s Day is coming up soon. Love on yours. My siblings & I will love on our mom. We always have on Father’s Day. I don’t remember not loving on her on that day. She still hasn't said what she wants for dinner. She has until Friday before I make an executive decision. LoL Part of my day will be giving well wishes to the Fathers I know. I think they might be my new Father figures. Umm, I will have to give that some serious thought. I’ll also remember my Father figures that are not here with me physically but in my heart. My grandfather, uncle, great-uncles and my Football Nerd will always be missed but Loved more.

And Yes, to you Dad, Happy Father's Day.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

No Cussing on the Internet

Today, I saw an upsetting article (Woman putting hair relaxer on their eyelashes) on FB. I spelled out a profane word when I shared the article and had to erase it because I remembered my personal rule of "No Cussing on the Internet".
I don't use profane language on the internet. No it's not a hypocrisy against my offline life. Cussing or cursing for me is a vice. I am a part of a cussing family. The S-word is like the first cuss word you learn in my family. Have you ever seen The Wire. Remember Senator Clay Davis extended S-word stretches? Yeah, him up there. He's kin to us. He has to be. He sound like my grandmother's sisters. LoL  By the time I was 10 years old, my mouth could go. I have even made up compound cuss words and phrases.(There are words (vulgar body parts (p-word, d-word, c-word) except the a-word (donkey) I don't say) Then one day with in the past 5-6 years I realized I sound not so cute in my verbiage sometimes. So I gave myself  a 5 cuss word a day limit. I try my hardest not to go over 5 profane words a day. Some days I make it. Some day I don't. I went a whole week without going over 5 profane a day. Then something happened (I know what. Just not sharing) and well that became the longest I have never went over the limit. So with the various stuff to be seen on the internet some albeit down right stupid, if I cussed on the internet I would never make my limit. I can use five words just on Hair Relaxer on Eyelashes easily. I know someone my age typing a-word, s-word, b-word and others seem silly. But it keeps me from a vice that I am trying to break. No yeah for me No Cussing on the Internet.

What is something you do offline that you don't do on the internet? Leave your answers in the comment section.

 As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Not Interesting Dating…Ex’s

After the Long Distanced post, a reader asked me

I'm not J. Mac or his sister, I promise. I am just a nosy fan!

If J. Mac moved back, would you date him again?

My Long Distanced did and I'm just wondering...

So this blog post is born.

Ex’s has teetered that grey area many times. But every time I try to either date again off the Good Ex list or be friendly with one of the Bad Ex list, God put barriers there to stop me. So I decided I am “Queen No Backsies”.  So this post could easily be “Why I am Queen No Backsies”.

Okay, I'm going to try not to look gullible but as my mother says “We all have had some dark days in romance”. A Songwriter even said, “Everybody plays the fool sometimes”. There are two times that I tried to go back that stand out make me look very stupid. 

Once a Bad Ex text me a couple of years after I broke things off asking could he and I be friends. Either sleepiness or forgiveness made me say yeah and me being friends with him last all from Thanksgiving time until Christmas time. A Chosen Family member, who didn't know he had contacted me at all called me and dropped some knowledge about his actions while we were dating that blew me away. Christmas day he text me Merry Christmas and I sent him a “Nicety” message that didn’t tell him Happy Holidays. Well, on New Year’s Day he wished a nice one and I had to go intellectually crazy and say “Nicks the friends crap and leave me alone”. I got told to “Go to Hell” and as far as he is concerned that is where I am. He tried to speak when I was on my way to a massage last year and I didn't speak because I am where… Right!!! That’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.

Have you ever had a guy say he wanted to try again with you and literally forget? I have. Yep, and the dude is on the Good Ex’s list. All I said was I will give it some thought. I never told him when but I gave myself, 6 weeks. And I really did think. I went to one of my male BFF’s for advice and everything. I prayed. A week before I was to give my decision (that actually was going to be a “Let’s wait a while”) he call to see if I was still going to this major celebration that he had invited me to. So, I told him after that event, I'll give him my decision. He had no clue what I was talking about. I gave him the rest of the week to search his memory and figure out what I was talking about. The night before the event he called and finally asked me what did he forget. I went off and I didn't go to the event either. Our friendship took that swat and eventually repaired itself (weeks of silence). I decided to totally forgive him. So, if it was a knee-jerk reaction initially or total memory loss (He had a bad memory too), I won't ask and he better not tell me.

So “Queen No Backsies”, I will stay. Lessons learned. After Mr. Bad Memory, I don’t even entertain possibilities when any Ex. Friendship or absence only. New Guys to date only.

Oh, the song I posted, yeah I'm being funny. Enjoy!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Favorite Singer of All Time Salute (African-American Music Month)

When I was a little girl, I wanted to play the organ. I love the sound of the organ. In my mind, Twinkie Clark & Billy Preston cannot be beaten. Then I saw Twinkie Clark and her sisters (The Clark Sisters) on my TV screen on Bobby Jones Gospel on Sunday night.  I had heard their songs all my life on the radio but this was the first time I saw them. As a  little chubby light-skinned black church girl, I saw myself all in The Clark Sisters especially Twinkie. She was playing the organ almost effortlessly. So, I “researched” playing the organ. I found that one had to learn how to play the piano first. Well with my 4-year-old mind, I gave up then learning how to play the organ. I didn't see the correlation then. I was 4. I decided when we went over to my great aunt's house and was allowed to play church, I’ll play the organ there. It was for the best. I have rhythm issues sometimes. They only instrument I play is the Recorder. Awesome" is my favorite song by her. The song I provided in this blog is called “My Soul Loves Jesus”. This song highlights her skills on the piano. This song features her sisters and R&B & Gospel singer, Shirley Murdock. I do have a favorite line though. “I can't sleep, ‘less I dream of him”. How many times have you were experiencing a sleepless night and you decided to prayed and worshiped the Lord to sleep? Well, if you haven’t let me tell you it is a great feeling. I understand that lyric wholeheartedly. It gets a Diva stamp of approval.

I still have mine. I can still play a mean “Twinkle, Twinkle”. What I didn’t give up on was being a fan of Twinkie Clark. You can’t tell me anything bad about her. She writes such sweet & simple music about God. "

So let’s go to Wikipedia to learn about my favorite singer. Elbernita "Twinkie" Clark is a two-time Grammy award-winning American gospel singer, composer, musician, and evangelist. She is a member of The Clark Sisters, an influential gospel vocal ensemble active since the late 1960s. She has been dubbed "Queen of the Hammond Ivory Super CX-1 & Hammond B-3 organs" and "The Mother Of Contemporary Gospel." According to sister Jacky Clark-Chisholm, their mother, Dr. Mattie Moss Clark, began training Twinkie on the piano as an infant and by the age of four, she could play full songs. Around the age of nine, Twinkie began showing interest in the organ and began training. At 12, she made her professional debut as an organist on the Southwest Michigan State Choir's album A Closer Walk with Thee. Twinkie would serve as Dr. Clark's personal organist until Dr. Clark's death in 1994. She has been the force that shaped the sound that has become the Clark Sisters' hallmark (more affectionately known as the 'Clark Sound') since their mother Mattie Moss Clark turned over control of the group to her in the early 1970s. As the 1970s turned into the 1980s, Twinkie gained increasing notoriety through the popularity of The Clark Sisters albums He gave me Nothing to Lose (1979), Is My Living in Vain(1980), You Brought the Sunshine(1981) and Sincerely(1982). Those albums featured the Twinkie penned classics; "Nothing To Lose", "Is My Living In Vain", "Pure Gold", "Expect A Miracle", "Name It Claim It", "Endow Me", "Walking In The Spirit" and the Clark Sisters crossover smash "You Brought The Sunshine." In the summer of 1981, "Is My Living In Vain" stayed atop the Billboard Gospel Songs chart for 13 weeks while the accompanying album would hit #1 and remain there for over a year. Twinkie wrote and produced three more albums for the Clark Sisters: 1986s Heart and Soul, 1988 Conqueror and 1989 Bringing it Back Home-Live. From those albums "Jesus Is a Love Song", "Pray for the USA", "Balm In Gilead", Jesus Forevermore", "My Redeemer Liveth" and "For The Love Of The People" were played on air. Twinkie amassed other hits in the 1980s ("I Tried Him and I Know Him", "The Anointing Breaks the Yoke", "Lord, Let Me Hear From Heaven") from her continued songwriting on her mother's convention records.

Twinkie left the Clark Sisters in 1989 to focus on ministry and family. She continued her solo career recorded the independent solo album Comin' Home in 1992. Twinkie was featured on the COGIC International Choir's Leaning on Jesus album on the hit duet with Richard "Mr. Clean" White's "Accept What God Allows" and in 1996, she produced the album Twinkie Clark Terrell presents the FAMU Gospel Choir which was a staple on the Gospel charts well into 1997. Twinkie and the Clark Sisters were inducted into the International Gospel Music Hall of Fame in 1999. The Clark Sisters received high honors at the 2007 Stellar Awards when they were presented with the award for Most Notable Achievement. Twinkie reunited with The Clark Sisters on July 8, 2006, to record a new live album, The Clark Sisters did a live recording in Houston, Texas entitled Live... One Last Time. The recording was released as a CD on April 10, 2007, on EMI Gospel, followed by a CD/DVD Special Edition release on June 19, 2007. In support of the reunion album, The Clark Sisters embarked on a 25-city Concert Tour. On January 16, 2009, Twinkie Clark was honored at the 10th Annual Trailblazers of Gospel Music Awards Luncheon Friday, January 16 in Nashville, TN.

Twinkie has written and/or arranged over 200 songs that have been recorded by the likes of Donald Lawrence & The Tri-City Singers, James Cleveland, Dave Hollister, Kelly Price, Rev. Donald Vails, and others. Richard Smallwood, Jennifer Holiday, Kim Burrell, Shirley Murdock, Donald Lawrence, R&B singer Coko, Missy Elliot, and Fred Hammond count Twinkie was influences/inspirations.  Clark's influences include jazz, reggae, classical, funk and blues. This is evidenced by listening to her first two solo albums Praise Belongs to God and Ye Shall Receive Power recorded for Sound of Gospel Records while still with The Clark Sisters. Twinkie Clark is a Stevie Wonder fan and hopes to one day do a duet with him. You Brought the Sunshine is actually pattern after Wonder's hit "Master Blaster".

What an accomplished lady!!! So I Salute pianist, organist, writer & singer, Elbernita “Twinkie” Clark, on today. Maybe this recorder player and you can jam out to “Twinkle, Twinkle” one day. LMBO.

Okay, who is/are your favorite singers of all time? Leave them below in the comments. I'm off to listen to some Clark Sisters.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Siblings

So, today my sister participated in TBT (Throw Back Thursday) and posted a couple of family pictures. That was funny. Gosh, I wore a stupid hairstyle in the 8th grade. Oh, I’m not dumb enough to show you guys. Here’s a cuter one.

Can you pick which one is me? Yes, that little one in the yellow, dotted Swiss dress is me.  The other two kids are my sister, A, and my brother, G. My mother tells people that she raised 3 only children. G is the oldest at 10 years my senior and A is 7 years my senior. So, she is actually right. But we have a close bond.

G has Cerebral Palsy and is severely mentally challenged.  Doctors said he would die at ages 5, 10, and 15. God’s miracle made them give up predicting.  G is actually the reason I went into the medical field as a child. I was going to find a cure for him at age 7. G is a riot. Though he has the mental understanding of a young toddler, He sings (his way), laughs and talks, feeds himself, even fusses & fights with people. I bet the Devil even says WoW when he sees my brother, the miracle. G is my Secret Keeper. He’s my sounding board. He is also my man metal detector. LoL, Like little ones, G detects basic B.S. If G does not make his way to meet you or all of the sudden stops talking to you, you won’t be seeing me much more. Trust me G’s actions are never wrong.

My role model & rock is A. Because she has a much bigger personality than me, many non-Blood related people referred to me as just only A’s sister. That causes me to do many things that look different on the surface than her on purpose. But strangely my methods looked a lot similar. A has supported me in everything, be it wise or dumb. She has come to my aid whenever I needed her. Don’t let me act like I don’t need help and she finds out. I told you, she’s my rock. Now if you guys think I am sarcastic and crazy, A will keep you on your toes then. She has a Great heart and tries to see the fun side in everything.

Yeah, we fuss, cuss and fight at times. It’s a wonder our childhood room is still standing. But I love these people. With all my heart. Nothing but Death can keep me from them. And even that might have to knock me out to get to them too.  Ok let me stop before I start the tears to flow

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Choir Music (African-American Music Month

If you asked me what my Favorite style of Gospel music is, it would be Choir Music. If you could be a fly on the wall of my life, there will be many times you will see me playing director and/or lead singer while listening to Choir Music. Matter fact if there is a movie based on my life that needs to be a scene.

Okay I may have made the “style term" up but some of you that know what I am talking about. I Love a true Choir Song. Choirs sing lots of stuff but a true Choir Song only sounds good with a choir.

When I a child, I sang in the Junior Choir at my foundation church. I actually can't sing. Well I sing okay. So, I never lead a song. We used to tear the church up with a song by Deleon Richards called “Move on up the Mountain (http://youtu.be/jJQMjrcw0TE). I know this is solo track but in my heart this is choir music. I loved singing this song. When I got to be 9 years old I was finally was old to sing in the Dallas Baptist Ministerial Alliance Youth for Christ for the City Wide Revival. In the 80’s and 90’s that was the thing for us little church kids to do. For six weeks at the beginning of the year that was our social scene. I loved Youth for Christ. Even when I joined the Youth Ushers at Foundation church at age 11, I still sang in Youth for Christ. I sang until I was 15. Singing song like “Send Your Anointing” by TM Mass Youth Choir gave me great joy.

If you asked me the best choir music were written by three men. The late Milton Brunson

the late Walter Hawkins

and Hezekiah Walker wrote many of my favorite Choir songs.

Well indulge me a little bit and act like we are at a good ol’ church musical and click & listen to some of my favorite Choir songs (a few new ones but mostly old one) I have provided. I’ll admit, I had a great time finding this tunes too.

Processional Song
He's Worthy
http://youtu.be/guV94dARrgc

The Anthemn
Keep You Lamps - These kids remind me of my childhood
http://youtu.be/nC7RHZuP_Yw

Yes Lord - As Football Nerd said once "You have to be a heathen not to know this song" LMBO (You had to be there)
https://youtu.be/mqrH6C-3G1M

There is No Failure
http://youtu.be/Wz7BnJtDZiM

I'm Still Holding On
http://youtu.be/kN6Xt0o4cLQ

Fully Commited
http://youtu.be/qCV6kZY4Pv4

Call Him Up
http://youtu.be/KQdZIqTsOm0

There is No Greater Love
http://youtu.be/QVbThm_CzTE

When The Battle is Over
http://youtu.be/kL7xRI3_p58

God Will Take Care of You
http://youtu.be/HP2n9nDn7Oc

Jerusalem - My Foundation Church is one of the choirs featured on this song. The soloist was member and a family friend. RIP Thomas Wade
http://youtu.be/dPHT8KKU-Uo

The Vision
http://youtu.be/opawDQcMVzQ

Same God
https://youtu.be/80Dpek7qK08

Everybody Clap Your Hands
http://youtu.be/MDOhwnzbeJQ

Every Praise
http://youtu.be/UuuZMg6NVeA

Oh in the comments let me know what some of your favorites are. Share with me. LoL

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms