It's Been a Decade, Huh?

While everyone was taking the 10 Year Challenge, I was reflecting. Might as well, because I pretty much look the same, I just have a better camera to take selfies with. And I decided to share with you all Ten Things I've Learned During the Years of 2010 and 2019.

Life is to be Lived. As long as blood is pulsing through veins in my body, I Must Live!

Being "Woke" can be very exhausting. Know what you know and Rest on those facts.

Many don't want to change. They're comfortable being dumb, entitled, mean, narcissistic, obtuse, and worthless. Continue to shift away from them.

Say what you need to say and nothing more.

Grief Pain hurts a lot more as I get older. Yet the continuous Healing work feels more fulfilling. 

My Descriptive Definition added some new words to help aid it

I'm so Petty, I don't want to use that term anymore. I'm that Trivial.

I don't know how to "feel some kind of way" about anything. I'm sure about my feelings even if it's weird.

I'm an Open Book, but Not an Easy Read & the Cliff Notes to My Story Weren't Created. Either others should raise their comprehensive skills or they won't know my story.

I Truly Believe everyone should have their own happy dance. We should also find any reason to do it as much as possible.

Steps to Mine

2 Steps to the Left

2 Steps to the Right

Hip Roll, Hip Roll

Snap

Hip Roll, Hip Roll

After all of that & more in this decade, I Still Have Joy. If the Lord says the same, I'll see you next decade, 2020. And I will learn more to add to these things. I Promise!!!

Oh, one more thing...I'm Not 4 anymore, I have to stop sitting in the "Criss Cross Applesauce" position.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

I Don't Give a Share! (Oh Watchmen!)

Who is watching the show, The Watchmen? It is a good show. I never read the graphic material and only saw the movie is spurts. The live tweets about the Tulsa & Black Wall Street Bombing are what made me check it out. (I learned about it in college.) And of course, in my true fashion, my mind watches TV also and that is how this post hatched. 

Now, you don't need to watch the show, The Watchmen to read this post. 

Oh, wait!

I Need the Following people to leave this post:

• People don't want to read any spoilers from the show, The Watchmen Watch the show and come back.
• People who are offended by sexual talk
• People who are here just to gossip

Thank you for the clicks but I don't need you negative yap.

Let's say this is for open-minded, non-problematic adults.

On the show(who's background material is a 1980s comic) Watchmen, there is a character named Agent Laurie Blake.  Laurie is an FBI agent who was a Watchmen vigilante in the 80s & 90s. We meet her with a large briefcase. In it is a space-aged sex toy called Excalibur that is fashioned after her ex-boyfriend, Dr. Manhattan/Jon. It was an "eff you" gift from another ex because she was still pining for him. Dr. Manhattan/Jon, because of a lab accident is a post-human god.

He is thought to be on the moon, but he is on Earth in human form living by the name Cal Abar(Yes, the name Excalibur was a hint). Cal/Jon/Dr. Manhattan now has a wife named Angela, who is a current vigilante, Sister Night. When I found out Cal was Dr. Manhattan, I thought about Laurie's adult device. This was my tweet.

Now, here is my question for you guys. If your significant other's ex had a sex toy made in shape of your significant other's genitalia, would you be uncomfortable or upset?

I would be uncomfortable. Yet, my brain and bank account would have to overrule my emotions. I would buy all patents, patterns, and/or schematics of that particular adult device. Not to make money, but when the device(s) wear out or break, nothing can be replicated. I know I have the real thing. I just don't want anyone having my real thing while I currently have it. I Don't Share Like That!!!

Now, get in the comments on here or the social media site you see this on and let me know how you would feel. And if you watched the show, let me know that also. 

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Cursed With Generational Talk (Answering Questions)

You ask and I answer. The kind of give and take I choose to engage with. Let me see what you want.

Q: You post a few boomers vs millennials memes on social media. How would you explain the battle?

A: You all know I have decided to identify as a Xennial. And when it comes to generations blaming one another, my identity really shows. I passionately care enough about "Boomers vs Millenials" to make fun of it. Let me break it down on how I see it.

The Greatest & Silent generations made the American Dream Kool-Aid for Everone to drink. Could that Kool-Aid be a tasty drink that may not be as nutritious as we are taught it is? It sure is!!!

But Boomers, who are numerous in physical bodies lapped this Kool-Aid up at its full strength and realized the Kool-Aid wouldn't last at the rate it was going. So, they decided to make fewer numbers of the next generation, who are Generation X and part of the Millenials and "afforded" them education to figure out how to make more Kool-Aid. That next generation told the previous generations the Kool-Aid can't be replicate. The older generations over-produced the drink and the ingredients are depleting. They gave them two solutions, one good & one bad. Make New Drinks or Add water & more addictives to the Kool-Aid. Both solutions are given green lights.

But Boomers hate the results of both solutions. The bad (watering down & more addictive) results in things like participation trophies, mass entitlement, & retirement age getter older & older. The good results in the movements like Me Too & It Gets Better & all income brackets figuring out different sources to make money. Boomers realized the added additives were harmful and had them removed. And now the younger Millenials and Generation Z members see all they have left is the murky water of the American Dream to consume. Rightfully so, they are upset. And now we see the "Who is to Blame" Fight.

My mind is tired but that's how I feel. But that's what happened when we based the affordability of the American Dream on capitalism. Now the money & resources are running out and we scrambling.

Well, do you have any other questions? If you do have questions send them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com. I will answer them.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Mindfulness in a Keepin' it Real World

Just saw this question, Is Mindfulness Lying? and I honestly didn't know how to answer that. I try to be as mindful of what I say & behave as much as possible. In my late teens and early 20s, if I said something careless about anyone or anything and I got shocking looks I said, "But I'm not lying". Of course, I curved doing that toxic mess, but over the past few years I have been reminded of something Stumpy, the Worst Boyfriend Ever said, "I don't give my opinion about someone because some people think that is a go light to unload their opinion about me".

There are a lot of times I feel that statement to my core. For the past few years, some have gotten upset with me because when they want my personal opinion I ask " Do you want my opinion or do you want a yes person" before they even get the dilemma out. I also know someone who is doing good with a weight loss journey. Some time ago, they said more than twice, I was getting fat and none of my friends said anything. I finally said "Well, I wouldn't want someone just saying that to me. So, I just didn't". I know I have given a helpful exercise motivation to this person before. Saying a statement more than once will trigger me to actually give my opinion, and chance that it was actually warranted without consequence.

We live in such a time where I often don't know when to say anything. Heck, having a blog like this one or posting as I do on social media takes chances that I don't trigger anyone. Sometimes, I'm successful. Many say society is too sensitive to the truth. I think we've kept it real for so long we don't know when to take it on the chin or actually come in guns blazing.

And I think that's where mindfulness comes in to protect us. It is a tool to make sure we all don't come off as jerks and a-holes all of the time. It comes in to put our bluntness in check sometimes. Because whether we admit it or not, we All have "can Dish it but can't Take it" moments more than we like. I think when we understand & accept that human flaw we might see the truth in Being Mindful.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

In the Name of Line Dancing

Oh 2019, I was trying to end the year without being a goofy know-it-all. Then here comes The Bible Slide & the talk about it and well here I am.

As a Christian, I am not a big fan. But most secular songs that get a sacred makeover get a pause from me. Remember the remake of Music Soul Child's Love to God. *sigh* Yeah, I do. I also only know one "cool" "Christian" line dance. That is the Hallelujah Slide. I found that one after I was introduced to The Gospel Slide (Jesus Apostles' March). Which sounds a little hokey, but it gives me a good workout.

Now as a line dancer, I am not mad at The Bible Slide. It is simple enough to move my body along with it. I don't like complicated line dances. Yeah, it's corny, but it's based on the Cha-Cha Slide. The Cha-Cha Slide has been described as a ghetto Hokey Pokey by comedian, Martin Lawrence. And whenever I hear it come on I see it as such, even as I am going down low, all the way to the floor. So, The Bible Slide has no other choice but to be seen as goofy too.

Will I be adding this to my workout/line dance list? Nope!!! This tune is over 5 years old. I've been bopping around, getting finer without it just well. But I will dance to it at any of my church friends' or family parties. Oh and thanks to whoever it was that was scouring Youtube to find this "New to Us but Old to You" dance. We need a new discussion.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Settling These Holiday Dessert Debates

There are desserts and there are holiday desserts. To me, holiday desserts have a little bit more love & joy in them. It is the time of the year where we tend to exhibit those two particular ingredients more in our lives. Maybe they rub off into the mixing bowls somehow.

For this post, I asked my followers what was their favorite desserts to have during the holidays. There was a tie. Apple Pie & Pecan Pie were mentioned the most. Pecan is a Texas favorite. We have a pecan tree in our backyard.

I have picked & shelled my fair share of it's prized ingredient over the years. Americans love their Apple pie. I can always tell when my grandmother wants me to make one. She will peel the apples with her 90+-year-old hands and have them in the refrigerator waiting for me. LoL Thank you to my followers who answered the question. Y'all are such sweeties.

And in no particular order, here are My Top 10 favorite holiday desserts

Ginger Breadmen - I love the smell of those little guys. They are probably one of the most iconic dessert symbols of the holidays. I don't think I ever see these eaten any other time of the year.

Sweet Potato Pie - Until I ever eat a piece of pumpkin pie, you will never know me to not pick this pie. It is a very simple pie to make. Add a little spray of whipped cream...Deliciousness!

Baklava - My grandmother ordered this one Christmas out of sheer curiosity. It was a hit with a few family members, including myself.

It is a very rich dessert. And there is nothing like eating it layer by layer, in order to savor the goodness.

Ooey Gooey Bars - In desserts named correctly, this one is one of them. It is ooey & gooey. Thank you St. Louis for sharing this gem.

Mexican Wedding Cookies - My youngest aunt won't make them anymore. I tried, but fail to make them light enough. So in the rare times, I see them in the store days after Thanksgiving, I buy two packs. Also known as

-Italian Nut Balls

-Russian Tea Cakes

-Polvorones

-Viennese Sugar Ball

-Snowdrops

they are buttery with a nutty hint in flavor. Maybe, my aunt, blog name Stump will surprisingly bless us with these one day, again. I'll let you guys know if she does.

Rum Cake - As a child, my grandparents were buddies a lady who owned a funeral home who brought us rum cake every year until she died for the holidays. It always came in a can. I think you could get drunk just by taking the top off. Whenever I take a bite of a potent piece of rum cake, that is a memory that comes to mind.

Holiday Fudge - I remember the show, Eve and the running jokes was how no one liked Shelly's holiday fudge. Either you like fudge or you don't. I do!

Ambrosia - The best salad ever. Stop staring at that sentence like that. It's a Fruit Salad. Traditionally, it has coconut in it. But y'all know I'm not the traditional type.

German Chocolate Cake - The only way I like chocolate cake & coconut. Chocolate cake is bitter to me. Coconut is too sweet to my tongue. Put them together and I like this dessert.

Mixed Berry Cobbler - Juicy & tart berries under a nice crust...What is there not to like! It's pie with no bottom crust. Why mixed berry? Because I tend to make apple randomly during "Baking Season". I only make mixed berry for the New Year.

Now, get in the comments on here or the social media site you see this on and let me know what are your favorite holiday desserts.

Remember this season is about love & joy. They make our hearts feel better. And who doesn't want to feel that?

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

The Comment Section, a Teaser, and an Announcement

Until I tried to answer comments with my cell phone, I didn't know followers with mobile devices couldn't comment in the comment section. Only people who read my blog from a desktop or laptop can comment. *sigh* When Google abolished Google+, it messed up their algorithm. *sigh* But some of you are hard-headed and you comment on the social media platform you saw the blog post on and...
I Thank You for doing so!!!
And Please continue to do so until Goggle & Blogger fix the issues and I will answer you there(even on Facebook where I use my biological name).

Coming January 2020! Lips are Zipped until then.

Yeah, since I am not a member of the Plate Making Ministry, I now know Why I am Single.

Yes, you may laugh, because most of us ladies aren't/weren't members. But TV & Movies, especially the ones containing "Southern Hospitality" have written a very skewed narrative. We know many "I Can Cook" pick me culture that are just as single as the rest. Oh Meme Culture, how did I live & blog before you came?

Alright, leave a comment below or the social media platform you see this posted.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

It's Dark...But Grateful Anyhow!!!

So, let me rip off a bandage and bleed on this page. In early March of this year, my home was robbed. My family & I survived and materially very little was stolen. Some of it we have replaced.

Something that I can't replace is the mid-level of security I used to feel in my home. I have my theories on the who, why, & how we were robbed. I won't share them here. But the fact that I even have to entertain these thoughts at all pisses me off and darkens my world.

Yep, this incident has me fighting Depression. In the beginning, it was so heavy. Nowadays, the burden seems to get lighter.

And I am not one of those Christians who believes that if I just praise my way through I will be alright. God gave us Earthly resources to help me become mentally healthier, also. But praising God is the foundation of me getting to more brighter days.

I have to praise him because things could have been worse. Lives were not lost. We could replace what was taken. We called for family, friends, & police help and it all came quickly. I praise God for all of that. There are mental health resources for me. Praise goes up for that. I have the sense to do the mental work is praiseworthy.

If I could choose a song for this moment. I would choose the song, Hallelujah Anyhow. My praise won't be my mask. My Praise will be My Help! And I am Grateful for My Praise.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Settling These Holiday Side Dish Debates

The Top food debate my Instagram followers wanted me to settle is Holiday Meal Side Dishes. But you guys know in the My world it's never that simple. Why? Because I don't eat a lot of the traditional sides served with turkey & ham. I also have never had mashed potatoes, heck any potato dish with this meal. And since I think showing your gratitude is what is important, I won't crap on the stuff I don't eat by ranking them low. Oh, but I do have a vast opinion on what is on my plate.

10. Cranberry Sauce (Canned)- I prefer the whole berry cans over jellied cans. Actually, I think the jellied is for children but that's a childhood story for another date. But dressing is not complete without this stuff. Helpful Tip: If you don't have cranberry sauce, Do Not substitute it with Strawberry Preserves. Your tongue will revolt.

9. Roasted Carrots- I don't like sweet potatoes or yams as a side dish. They are a tad too sweet to me. Roasted carrots are a good alternative. They are like savory vegetable candy on my plate.

8. Roasted Brussels Sprouts- Believe it or not, I didn't have "little" cabbage ever until I was an adult. We only ate "big" cabbage. But these came to our table a few years ago and I really like their caramelized nutty flavor.

7. Dinner Rolls- If potatoes, rice or pasta are a part of any meal, I usually don't eat bread with it. There are two exceptions, this meal & lasagna, salad with garlic toast. I need a piece to make a small turkey & ham sandwich with. And a piece to sop the gravy with.

6. Gravy- Like cranberry sauce, dressing needs this to complete it. Also, I prefer the white meat of chicken & turkey. And we all know gravy helps give that meat a little more flavor.

5. Greens- Adult me likes greens(preferably turnip) cooked with smoked turkey wingtips. 

4. Cranberry Sauce (Homemade)- My cousin, Clois(blog name) made this one year & I fell in love. It's what the canned whole berry becomes when it decides to dress up.

3. Broccoli Rice Casserole- I miss this dish on our table. It gets forgotten about until we are setting the table. But have no fear, I have a few friends whose mothers make it and I help myself to a spoon or two when I visit.

2. Cornbread Dressing- My aunt, Stump(blog name) makes it the best. But I also have never had bad dressing. Stump puts meat in hers. My mom mixes cream of chicken soup in her recipe. Even the boxed version is good in a pinch. Just don't call it stuffing, at least if you want me to eat it.

1. Green Bean Casserole- Yes, I am Black & Southern and my Black & Southern family has had this dish on our table since my late teens. If my mom won't make it, she will share her recipe with only the person who will be making it. It is the True Star on My Plate. My mother's version is the best. Highland Park Cafeteria in Dallas is a cute 2nd. And I have had one bad dish of it. You have to fully drain your cans or the casserole will be runny. And no one wants this delicious oniony goodness with its crispy topping to be runny.

Alright in the comments, I want to know your top holiday side dishes. I really want to see them especially from those IG followers that suggested this topic.

No matter what you have to eat for the holidays, Be Grateful for those blessings. Somebody is not that fortunate. Happy Holidays!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Mental Illness Sucks at 30 Chances (Answering Questions)

The world has opened up and showed out. I  know you guys have been asking questions. I have been under the weather and have been catching up on some reading, but I am here now to answer your questions.

Q: If Kanye ever came to your city, would you ever go?

Do you think Dr. Jamal Bryant was right to give away the offering Kanye West gave his church?

You are a Christian, are you going to listen to Kanye West's Jesus in King?

A: Ok I decided to finally answer Kanye West questions before he does anything else. As you see I put all of them together & I am going to just give my whole opinion and the answers will be in it.

Most of the population doesn't really understand mental illness nor religion. But very often some handle, cope, and/or hide their mental illness with religion. Obvious examples are suicide bombers and sidewalk ministers that get their calling during a 72-hour hold. Kanye West said he was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder & admitted sometimes he doesn't take his medicine. After a few interview rants, where he praised 45 (the man that is the president at this time) & said slavery was a choice, he starts having outdoor performances using Gospel music. Using my common sense, I think Kanye is handling, copying, and/or hiding behind the religion, Christianity.

Then he goes on tour to various places with his Sunday Services. One church was New Birth in Atlanta, where he gave a sizeable donation. Another venue was in Salt Lake City, where he repeated his praise of 45 & mental slavery talk. Dr. Bryant became appalled and then gave the donation to an HCBU in need. I don't blame Bryant for giving the money to charity. I do blame him for not using his ears and hear that Kanye never apologized or walk back his MAGA stance before he came to his church. That's probably why I wouldn't go to Kanye's Sunday Service nor listen to his Jesus is King project. Because My Common Sense is observing All of it, the said and the unsaid.

Q: With the gossip and internet clips about Tank talking about who is not gay, different sexualities were talked about. What do you think about these discussions?

A: I wish sociologists & sex researchers were more vocal in educating us all. Because it amazes me the loudest discussions come from the most ignorant & knowledge confused about sex & sexuality. I'm a cis-heterosexual woman, who was never bi-curious nor had bi-sexual experiences. That's my story! Yes, I have "sexuality privilege".

I Believe in a Broader Sexuality Sliding Scale Needs to be Established.

I don't understand how a cis-homosexual man can previously have any type of sex with a woman and nobody wonders if he's gay when he says he is, but if a straight man has oral sex with another man twice, he can't be believed he is a cis-heterosexual man. That man is deemed gay or bi. But don't both have bi-sexual experiences in their pasts.
*sigh*
Let's just let everyone's sexuality by their sexuality. And until their sexual life affects our individual sexual health, we all should just Shut Up & Keep Learning!!!

Q: I was listening to T.I.'s podcast and I heard this question.

Pick One:

Give one guy 30 chances or Give thirty guys 1 chance.

A: Let's start with questions When did T.I. get a podcast? Is it good? Do you think I would like it? LoL

I'm assuming this "chance" is to my heart. If so, I will choose the 30 guys. Truth be told, I may have given 30 guys that chance by now. But no one deserves 30 chances to capture my heart. I can only think of one person who got 2 full chances to capture my heart and that ended with me leaving his burial site.

Wow, that was lengthy. But if you have questions send them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com. I will answer them.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

How Do I Put This?(October Awareness)

I know y'all get tired of my feelings on how the awareness of Breast Cancer & Domestic Violence are treated in October, the month designated for them. But I noticed how certain women-led talk shows rush to talk about Breast Cancer Awareness at the beginning of the month like it is an obligation. I notice how certain women-led talk shows can make sure they wear purple on October 18th aka Spirit Day for Anti-Bullying. Yes, Anti-Bullying campaigns are just as important, but it's just odd with 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner, certain women-led talk shows never mention that in the month of October. And well, I'm tired of it that, too.

But then I look at a national commercial for a popular item and I see the first non-family DV survivor I ever met on it. When I 18, I took Women's Self-Defense(I know how to change a tire because of this class) and Domestic Violence was the topic. The question was why do victims stay. And this woman said, "Because they are stupid". I remember side-eyeing her the rest of the class.

And when our lecturer assigned us to write a summary about the discussion, I honed in on her statement, said victims were not stupid, and told about someone I knew that had left a horrible relationship like that. A week later, we were made to read one another's paper. I found out she was a victim and she often felt bad because of it. Her story stuck with me. It was good to see her living her dreams and I pray she describes her self as a survivor & victor, now.

  I saw the church I grew up in aka My Foundation Church had a program & balloon release for Breast Cancer Awareness. It was good to see the survivors (even male ones) tell their stories on how they overcame this brutal disease. Many times we talk about facts and impact after a person has died. It is inspiring to see survivors speak about their experiences.

Yeah, I get frustrated while wearing pink & purple. Yet, I know my & other's heartfelt work helps somebody, somewhere. Maybe one day larger platforms will do more, but until I'll keep showing my awareness, my way.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

So...You Want a Web Series Update

What? I have been watching Web Series. I just didn't tell you guys about them.

Makeup X Breakup

It's the series finale. It's on a new channel, BETHer. And all the storylines get wrapped up well.

Pillow Talk

From the creators of Tough Love, comes the tale of Lyric "Lady Jones" Jones and her friends, Robin & Nina.

See how a Love Coach and friends navigate the love world. And keep your eyes peeled for some familiar faces from Tough Love.

Hello Cupid 3.0

Yep, Black & Sexy has remixed one it's OG shows. This time the show moves from the dating site to the dating show world. Three men + Three Women = Shenanigans in the Name Love. Will Cupid successfully shoot his arrow?

The Lesbian Homie

This was really a "comedy" skit that turned into an interesting story. Enjoyable, Funny, & rather Thought Provoking. The only drawback is it is clearly written by a man, and I hope they consulted some ladies from the LGBT+ community. 

Black Girl in a Big Dress

Enter the mind of a cosplayer that loves the Victorian world of corsets, teas, ladies, & lords.

It's the world that Adrienne's heart is in. Even though her physical life is still in the modern world.

Hover & Click each title and Enjoy! And let me know if there are others I should be watching in the comments.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

🎶When You Hear of My Homegoing...🎶

...know that you shouldn't be hearing that song at my service.  I talked about some of this on Twitter. With the unfolding funeral drama of Atatiana Jefferson, the young woman killed in her home by a Fort Worth police officer at what was supposed to be a welfare check, my mind keeps going to making my wishes known in the event I leave this world like Atatiana, Botham Jean, and too many others did. I trust my family, but grief is a funny thing that foolishness likes to creep up in. I don't want some crazy fight that will include probate court. And I don't want sly civil rights lawyers & activists and the media to make my memorial services an event that doesn't represent me. They should make sure I get justice for my unlawful & illegal murder, only.

Just like if I die in any other manner, my services should be 45 minutes to an hour(90 minutes and I am Gone)
Processional & Final View: Highway to Heaven (The Upbeat Classic)
Scriptures Old & New Testament(Except John 14(One day I'll talk about this)
Sing-Along Time1:

Jesus Promise by Chicago Mass Choir
So Good by The Williams Brothers
(My Family loves to Rock Out to These Songs at Funerals)
Read the Obituary Silently
Sing-Along Time2:
He Brought the Sunshine by The Clark Sisters (If there is time sing Expect A Miracle, too)(I Love The Clarks)
Encouraging Word Eulogy (10 Minutes)
Recessional: I Bow Out Gracefully by John P. Kee

And if the Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas, & US Civil Rights lawyers & activists don't know the songs and only know John 14 for funeral scriptures, tell them my loved ones will join them at the rally after the repast. Because making sure my killer is properly punished is still
an objective.

I felt sorry for Michael Brown's(Killed by the police in Ferguson) mother, Lesley McSpadden. Cameras were all in her face as she cried so hard at his services for hours. That's not what I want for anyone when I leave this world. My services shouldn't be "We Shall Overcome" moment. Because in the grand scheme of it all...I will already have.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms