He, She, & B

I see this picture of these three adult-age people  I frown. That is B. Smith. She is a former restaurateur, model, author, and television host. I enjoyed her show, B. Smith With Style when it was on the air. 

Also in the picture is her husband Dan Gasby and his girlfriend, Alex Lerner. Yes say, "Oh" but don't shrug it off. B. Smith has Alzheimer's disease and has no clue what is going on. And her husband has become defensive about having a live-in girlfriend while taking care of his wife. HERE is one of the articles about him, the girlfriend & B. 

There is one key point that I don't see in any of the stories where Dan & B had a prior discussion that having a live-in girlfriend is okay.

I wonder that not because Gasby needed permission, but because what if B. has a lucid moment one day. That does happen. There is also Terminal Lucidity where some people with mental decline have mental clarity and memory shortly before death. I'd rather not have to explain that situation but hug and savor the clear moments that we have.

"I love my wife but I can’t let her take away my life!" Dan Gasby wrote on Facebook.

I know Dan Gasby was probably lonely. I understand. I came back home to help my mother with my late grandfather and brother & ailing grandmother, years ago. Being a caregiver can be very isolating. It is a life few understand.

So, I understand him having a friend to talk to and having some free time away from his current life. But a live-in just seems disrespectful. I think Dan Gasby feels some guilt. If he didn't, he wouldn't be defensive. He would've revealed Ms. Alex Lerner and went on to live life. His Facebook statement might as well say, "It breaks my heart my wife doesn't recognize me, but a man has needs".

Maybe not the case. But he put the "story" out. Have a feeling a little discretion would help him.

*sigh*

Learn how to tell a story!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Christian Love Music?

Anyone who follows me on social media knows that the title is click bait. This post is just to further my feelings about the talk about "Us Against the World, The Love Project" by David & Tamela Mann that I stated on different social media sites. If you don't know, gospel singers, David and Tamela Mann released an R&B love songs album. I am probably in the minority of people (not the 1st time) who didn't criticize them before or after listening to it. I was not opposed to the project. I listened to it for a few days on Spotify. And it has a few 2-Step worthy tunes, in my opinion. I really liked Signs the most. 🎶Love is the language And you speak it fluently Through your actions🎶

There is a complaint going around that there aren't any new love songs in R&B. There is a lot of sex music, but where is the love? And think about how many love songs in the known history of the genre are sung by never divorced married couples.

The only married couple who made an R&B love song that comes to my mind is Ashford & Simpson. (If you can think of another, leave them in the comments) And they were "Solid as a Rock" until Nick Ashford left this world. Now another couple, The Manns that seems to truly love one another make some tracks and the world picks fun of or find fault with it. *sigh* Humans...

But of course, the criticism was because The Manns are Christians and pigeonholing them is what fuels most of the dislike. I feel like the critics have the problem, not The Manns. There is no profane language in any song. Listeners will not hear about the bedroom behavior of David or Tamela.

And they aren't the first Christians to have a love song album. Have you ever heard Bishop T.D. Jakes's "Sacred Love Songs"? I was 21 years old when that & book it accompanies came out. It gave me the song my mother will walk down the aisle to at my wedding called " From Mother to Daughter. And he via the voice of Marvin Sapp gave us ladies a lesson about satin sheets on the bed. Some of you men need to thank Bishop Jakes every time your lady buys nice cotton percale sheets.

Oh well, those are my thoughts. Have you heard "Us Against the World" by David & Tamela Mann? Let me know in the comments. And remember, you can't have Good Love slipping everywhere, because of Satin Sheets Slide.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

Define Cheating and Then Go on With Life

My dating life probably thinks the amateur sociologist in me is cramping its style. Oh well, it will be okay. Here is an upside to dating when you're older...Having Mature Conversations. Oh, you still have to deal with "Hey! How Are You?" conversations of mundane death. (Remind me to discuss that one day) But once you can get past that there are some good conversations that you were not having when you were younger.

I'm listening to a podcast about emotional affairs and it reminded me of a recent conversation about cheating. One of my dating qualifications for dating is for a guy to be monogamous and know why he is. An interested guy needed clarification. I gave it to him and it leads to the question, "What is Cheating to You".

Cheating is any interaction with anyone that one is attracted(sexual, emotional, and/or spiritual) to that is hidden from one's significant other(SO)(exclusive boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, or spouse). That's my simple definition to handle what we feel the need to make complex. Can you show or discuss your text messages with your work bae to your SO?

Would it make you nervous from guilt if your SO ask to join your prayer partner & you in prayer? Did you passionately kiss your former neighbor when you guys met up for dinner? Did you sleep with the wait staff personnel who slipped you their number? Cheating is not that hard to understand. You know what shouldn't be done with others outside of your relationships. Some are obvious. Some need to be discussed so parameters can be placed. And that's not just for monogamy. One of the reasons why I'm not polygamous or in open relationships. They need quite a few.

Anyone older can say they had this conversation about cheating when you were younger? Was it before you or you're SO cheated? 

So, what is your definition of cheating? Let me know in the comments. Don't cheat yourself out of a possible conversation.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

She's Funny

We love to talk about the women who inspire us in the month of March. March is Women's History Month, so it is to be expected. Well, let me talk about some women who inspire me. Female Comedians inspire me a lot. How can any person that makes you laugh not inspire you?

I was probably first inspired when I saw a black lady put a yellow top her head & act like a little girl who wanted long blonde hair. I actually knew that little girl growing up. Then I saw a lady hosting a talk show. She said, "Can we talk". So, I had to listen to what she wanted.

Then there were these ladies whose acts were mirrors & ladders of my life. I was a black young woman with a foul mouth, who could hula hoop & thought church ushers who caught the holy ghost while serving were hilarious. Yes, these ladies were encouraging a future F*cking Lady. Now, these ladies are my friends in my head.

I relate to going out with painful shoes & shapewear on and hating to go the public rest because of the thin toilet paper. But because of the driver friend, we made it home. Hurricane names make me chuckle, too. And delusional people & pressure point massages are not that enjoyable at all.

Yeah, I just covered some the punch lines of

Wanda Sykes

Whoopi Goldberg
Tiffany Haddish

Sommore

Leslie Jones 

Adele Givens

Joan Rivers
Ellen Degeneres 
Loni Love

 

Small Fire(formerly known as Small Fry)

and Honorable Mentions Sam Jay & Aisha Tyler. 

They are some of my favorite female comedians. I told you guys putting a smile on my face is very inspiring. Hover & click their names and enjoy.

Also, let me know who are your favorites in the comments. I might like your faves, also. And I want to laugh some more.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

Settling These Soup & Stew Debates

Yep, time to settle some food discussions you guys (and me) insist on fussing about. And there is nothing like a good ol' cozy debate about soups & stews. Did you know our society lightly bicker on the definitions of soup & stews? Soup is primarily liquid food, mostly served warm or hot (but may be cool or cold), that is made by combining edible items like. meat or vegetables with stock, water, or milk.

My Favorite
Breakfast DIY Cold Soup

A stew is a combination of solid food ingredients that have been slowly cooked in liquid and served hot as a looser gravy or a thicker soup. Those definitions should also answer, Is Soup a Drink? I don't care if you put the gazpacho in a mug, it's still soup. Also, Is Breakfast Cereal a Soup? I swear I had to think rather hard on this. But Yeah, you can refer to it as Breakfast DIY Cold Soup. Cereal is Soup. Now, Gumbo, Chili, Chowders, & Bisques are Stews. They're slowly cooked and thick.

Now, let's cover the most soup & stew arguments that people engage in.

I blame commercials for the Campbells ~vs~ Progresso discussion. Most consumers are pretty settled on which brand they favor. Progresso is a soup starter, in my opinion. It lacks the rich flavor of Campbell. So, Campbells win that round. And it is committed to making soup. There are so many varieties of Campbell's soups, what is not to like?

Onto the Wolf Brand ~vs~ Hormel chili debate. The iconic Wolf Brand is the best.  The only chili better than Wolf Brand is my cousin, blog named Chef's chili. It has a consistent meat texture. It is spiced perfectly. It also has high nutritional value, since it includes a considerable amount of Vitamin A and Vitamin C, as well as 8% of calcium and 20% magnesium. Hormel is cute but the stringy meat puts me off.

But Hormel do not frown. Your Dinty Moore Beef Stew is the stew that I try to pattern my recipe after. I first had it in daycare and I have been a fan ever since. I think the secret is in the beef broth & tomato paste combination. Applause to you guys for the Best Beef Stew.

And last but not least let's talk the Red ~vs~ the White. No, I'm not talking about wine. I'm talking about New England ~vs~ Manhattan Clam Chowders. I don't know if my Southern tastebuds get in the way, but Manhattan gives me Gumbo, My Favorite Stew that missed the mark. I totally prefer New England Clam Chowder. It's creamy and the potatoes, celery, & clams give it a nice texture.

Oh before you ask, the Best Soup is Chicken Tortilla Soup with Lime.

Now, get in the comments and discuss this. What soup & stews are your favorites? No Arguing, of course. My opinion is gospel truth on here, so feuding is futile. LMBO

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

This June

Quick Announcement:
I'll be restarting Black History Month in June! We're celebrating Black Music Month, Juneteenth and My Birthday(You can chuckle but not too hard) during that month anyway. So, June it is!!!✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿

Ugh!!! Being Social Media "Normal"

Why must we get revenge on social media? I need sociologists to hurry up with that research. *deep sigh* Let's just say there is someone that has returned to the scene of the crime in my life. Now, most days I rise to the occasion and take the high road.

I ignore them until they go away or keep my interaction at cordial levels. Sometimes I take the lowest road and tell that person off in a rage that either contains profanity or very small simple words to make sure the person understands exactly what I am saying at that very moment(see what I did there). Then there are the rare occasions I speak in general terms, scenarios, and memes that everybody can understand but I know it is pointed directly to a target.

That rare moment is what I call Social Media "Normal". Because when I feel I have to act that way it is on social media. I learned it by watching y'all. Shout out to drug awareness commercials in the 80s. My social media is full of it some days. I never saw this stuff on Myspace. It annoys me when you guys do it. And when I have turn that displeased mirror on myself, the feeling is the same. No one wants that.

Oh well, I go onto do the work and deal with my issues. And I'm not sharing my findings with those who studied & have degrees to tell me in a study what is going on. LoL I Must Do the Work. People who act like this 65% of the time, I mostly deleted or muted on Social Media. Deleting and/or Muting me is not an action I want to ever have to choose.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!