The Decision has Been Made, Just Be Still

Exactly Today 4 years ago, I was told my father passed away on Christmas Day. Exactly Today 4 years ago, I also saw God's Word make a decision that in a way, man's eyes & understanding will never comprehend.
I was a child of marital separation. I was a child of a deadbeat father. My parents separated when I was 3 months old. I didn't know for them to be together and never cared for them to be together. Even as a child, I knew we (my siblings & I) were better off with a single mother. No fighting parents (stepparent for my siblings). My mother never talked badly about my father. But he (who I mostly saw by random accidents) talked bad about her and her family, the family that raised me. Especially my grandfather, who was my main father figure. So by the time I was 21, I decided he & I didn't share values, goals, respect for life & people, & being in each other's lives would not be likely. The last time I spoke to my father was a year before his passing when he called to tell me his mother died. He caught up on my life (college graduate & business owner) and finally sound less bitter about my mother and family.

During the time after My father passed, I was packing for a long-awaited trip out of town to see my college friends. My mother told me who & how she was told. I was very sad but I was still packing and planning to go out of town the next day, the day of his viewing, two days before his funeral. My sister & aunts called and all I could tell them was, don't have that announced at their church. My cousin called to set the time to drop me at the airport. I finally went into a deep inward prayer mode. I'm sad but I still packing. I'm sad but I'm not angry. I'm sad but not guilty that I'm going out of town. That morning my cousin came with the paper & I saw the obituary. I saw my name as one of the survivors. Then I went to the airport still in this prayer mode. Got my ticket, went through the security point, and was waiting on the plane. My inward prayer was getting louder in my soul. "Lord, I don't understand my behavior. I'm sad but I'm still going out of town. Am I guilty for not being guilty? Lord, Let your will be done because it's the only one that matters." To the natural eye, I was just sitting there. "Lean not to thy own understanding" came to my mind. Then I thanked God for my father because without him I wouldn't be alive nor have the good life I had. Then I was reminded of the scripture "Be Still & Know I am God" and I was at peace. I shrugged and said, "Why be fake? To sit on a front row to shake shiver, and cry next to some "family member" you don't know, would be so fake".

I went on my trip and came back to a funeral program from a minister who questioned my family about my absence waiting for me. I came home to a funeral program full of memories of a life that I didn't know of waiting for me. Like a funeral program of a stranger. Yep, I made the right decision for me. The Real Me. I always said when that day came, the Lord would help. And an ever-present help, he is, especially that day. One day, I'll go visit his grave. Forever, I'm glad I did what was right no matter how It Looks to Man. God knows what's best. And what's best is not what We think it is.
RIP Droopy

Pervert & the Cowards

Sandusky---> McQueary---> Paterno---> Penn St Officials---> But not the Police

This Penn St sex scandal sickens me. Of course Sandusky is the worse for being the vile molester. But the rest of the names are not real men either. They are a bunch of COWARDS that passed the buck of Responsibility instead of doing right thing and going to the police themselves.

McQueary is the worse of these cowards. He saw it! So why didn't he get the police? What about vigilante justice for the child? He should have confronted Sandusky in the shower then and there and got the child to safety. The rest just dropped the ball (No Pun Intended). Amazing how these Old, Grown, Adult men could do that.

And the poor Penn St community. Who wants to go though this? I know the students hate that their beloved coach is gone & school is battling reporters & legal accusations. But I want them to consider hearing this about another school. SMH

*Talking to You in Grown Up*

Fat Butt News Broadcast

I hate News Cast that focus on obesity & being overweight. Not the facts & advice. The showing of people's faces, guts, & butts has to be embarrassing. Especially if somebody realize that their body part on TV. 8O Especially kids. Oh the horrible possibility. You're eating a cupcake or getting a milk. It gets on TV and then the next day your peers tease you. Is the media trying to shame people into losing weight?

I remember the first time I passed by someone in a mall & I was Aware I got "That Look".  I was secretly embarrassed. Then I was obsessed for about a month checking to see my bust, butt & legs on TV. I finally esteem checked myself & stopped. I wonder do others do that.

I really wish the Media would stop that. Has to be like Invasion of Privacy, somehow. Hope no one signed a release, especially not the parents of the kids.
I bet not see my body on TV on a report. It will be hell to pay.

*Talking to You in Grown Up*

The Date Race

Someone suggested I read the book "Is Marriage for White People". I looked at them stupid. They felt that since they never saw me date anyone that was not black, I should open my self to dating other races. I laughed for a few minutes then explained that I am open to dating outside my race. But the type of men I date prefer dating that are other races don't come up to me asking Me for date. They asked "What Type is that". I told her "Decent Men". What you see approach, flirt with, or date me are "Decent Men". They just happened to be black. I've never been approached by a "Decent" man that was any other race. I don't date aimless, criminals, slouches, bums, drug using, married, uneducated, or alcoholics men no matter the race. I have yet to have a non-black man that was not those things approach me. If I won't date a "brotha" that are those things why would I settle for that just to date outside my race. Get me one that not those things and we can go on a date. They were dumbfounded.

As for this book. It is amazing how a black man  can suggest who should black women should consider dating. He feels Black women should consider dating outside their race because Black men are trying to use them. Umm In My Opinion he's trying to use them also, by writing a book about his suggestions. I'm not disagreeing with him but I don't feel he should make $$$ from it. Sad thing is there will be a nice percentage that will rush out and get his book. Many that don't understand the basics in dating anyway. Still Dating Randomly.

I don't understand why buy something that is common sense. I don't understand why folk don't get to know their self, make a solid basic non shallow list of attributes or standards of who they want to date. Things that they have to be, no exceptions. And go after that. My basic attributes for dating have nothing to do with race. Because dating randomly is the problem many folks have and until that is address then...
*Talking to You in Grown Up*

Too Much Emphasis on Sex

Today while straightening my grandmother's hair I was listening to a rerun of the Oprah
Show on her OWN channel. The show was about two 30 y/o ladies who were virgins  and
ashamed of to be sexually inexperienced. It was sad to me. Not because they were
virgins. As a celibate individual (YES a choice I call "Being Radical" I don't regret and a badge I wear as proud as my skin) that will never be something I would do. But because they felt like they were missing out on something in life. Because they felt like they are only people not getting the punch line of a joke. Of course it came out that they had underlying control & self esteem issues that were part of the blame. In my opinion, I blame society in part because they felt like they were less than because they were virgins. You see many movies & books about the poor virgin that NEEDS to get their cherry popped before it is too late. Too late for what? Vibrators and Dildos are is so many everyday catalogs I could scream. Levitra, Extenze, and ED medicine commercials are on TV before Prime time TV. On Halloween what kind of costumes sell the most? The list goes on & on. So it's no wonder these ladies thought it was embarrassing to be virgins. Even in my recent past I have learn not to discuss my celibacy with all my friends because some do not understand. Some one minute are praising me for that decision, the next minute think I'm crazy. Then there are some to suggest I "need to get some" but when I pay attention to their lives I realize they "need to get some" actually. One friend (whose only had "sex" once) I did tell that friend to catch up to my past then suggest that to me. I have not heard that suggestion anymore from that person's mouth. What is the obsession with sex about? Why is it everywhere? Why is it made to believe that if you're not doing it, something is wrong with you.? That was something I didn't hear on the show. No one ever ask the ladies were they Sure they even wanted to have sex. Somebody needed to have that kind of talk with them. Once they handle the control and self esteem issues, then decide to have sex there are heap of other emotions that come with that. Kinda of talk that teenage girls need to have before they have sex. Many of them are not being talked to either so why am I shocked. Maybe because there was a Doctor involved. But hey the goal was "getting them some" not making sure they look before they leap. They did help one to get know her body. That is a good thing. Can't expect somebody else to know what you like of you don't. I wish the ladies well. Hope they make a decision they can live with. And the shame of being 30 & a virgin is gone. Don't want the shame to cause them to have sex prematurely.


*Talking to You in Grown Up*

Ummm You're on a Competition Show

I am so sick of the Max/Chaz complaints of the judges comments on Dancing With the Stars Talk. I wish they would sit down and hush. Especially Max! Umm you are the professional. If Len felt that dance was Hope's worse dance it was her worse dance to Len. That is their job, to critique & judge. It's bad enough the audience boos whenever the comments are not favorable. I think the judges are just trying help the contestants improve. It can't be praises all the time.
As for Chaz, let's say I'm beyond annoyed anyway. It's not like Chaz danced every week. Chaz walked across the floor. Master P did better, IMO, lol. After Ron Artest week one, Chaz should have been next (but we know what that was). Chaz's complaint is just a way to extend Chaz's DWTS 15 minutes of fame. Max complained, so Chaz complained. Ooh hush, Learn to dance. This is worse than Cheryl Burk upset about blog/forum comments on her weight. Toughen Up People, YOU'RE Competing.
*Talking to You in Grown Up*

Be AWARE in October

It's October which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month & Domestic Violence Awareness
Month
So Keep your Hands & Cruelness to Yourself!!!
&
Let's Save the TaTa's (saw that on a shirt, might buy it)!!!
#pinklove #purplelove

Illegal Immigration, Voting , Naturalization and other Taboo Thing for Me to talk About

If you ask me about the issue of illegal immigration I think Hispanics are scapegoats for the problem. Actually the face of illegal immigration should be Canadian because the are actually the highest percentage of illegals in the U. S. Glad I am not a betting woman because I thought it was the Middle Eastern decent (Don't get me started on them. Another Blog Another Day & not a nice one either). But today in Dallas I have to get on my soap box about the Hispanics, their rights, and, redistricting.

In Dallas, the district representation map had to be redrawn and voting on down there at City Hall by the Council. The Hispanics on the council wanted 5 districts but only got 3 with the coveted 2 districts going to African American council to represent. According to the census, those 2 districts are populated by mostly by Hispanics and with the naked eye that could very well be true.

But are the residents mostly occupying these areas legal citizens that are registered to vote. I highly doubt it. You can push me over with a feather if they are. So if the council based redistricting on legal citizens well an African American should represent those areas. And those who feel that is unfair should do two things. 1) Have those who are legal & naturalized citizens that are not registered to vote, REGISTERED TO VOTE.  How can one have the feeling to complain about laws or policies when they don't use their right of influence? How can one know what their voice sounds like if they don't ever use their voice? 2) Those who are living in the those areas illegal, have them become naturalized citizens. People are always protesting about letting illegals staying but whose helping them become legal & naturalized? Very Few. Instead of Marching to stay, March to the Immigration office and do it the right way. (And that's not just for the Mexicans that for anyone here illegally) I'm sorry but until then they don't have a right to be represented. One can't tell anyone how to run anything in a home one has not TRUE right to live. In my opinion that is how those who oppose the new district map of Dallas can Help their coveted constituents Help them gain more influence in Dallas.

MLK Memorial Ceremony News Coverage

Okay Roland Martin has his perspective, here’s OUTSPOKEN_DIVA’s on the coverage of the Martin Luther King Memorial ceremony on Sunday morning. First off KUDOS (yes big ones) to the stations of BET, Centric, CNN & TV One for covering the Memorial ceremony, when others did not. It was slap in the face to see the Big Three, ABC, CBS, and NBC going on with their programming as usual. All the news pundit shows could have been with held for one Sunday for coverage of the historical event. And I will not buy into the excuse because it was rescheduled because of the earthquake & hurricane on its original date. Organizers gave suitable notice of the rescheduled date so programming still could have been modified. I think the big Three could have covered the ceremony. What about those that do not have cable, internet, or satellite? How would they have watched the ceremony if they wanted to watch it?


Of what I was able to see and hear I was a very good ceremony. I hope to visit the memorial one day. Add to my Atlanta experience of the King Memorial there.


Yes I said of what I got to hear and see of the televised ceremony. Though TV One & CNN had the better coverage than BET & Centric (I know they are the same folks), they all are guilty of talking way too much at the wrong time. Do newscasters ever understand that no one cares what you think? I would have liked to here the choir sing or Al Sharpton’s whole speech without flipping channels without to see whose not discussing when the Obama Family arrived or running a commercial. I think most coverage of this event was only to show the President’s address. Ed Gordon et al. were talking during the introduction of Obama. Seriously? And that was very unfair for those of us not able to be there in person. Newscasters give your opinion while no one is up at the microphone speaking or performing. And keep it short because if you have something to say somebody else has an opinion to.

As Roland Martin says That’s my perspective, What’s Yours? ROTFLOL

Oh That Reality Televisison

What is it about reality television that fascinates us? Most are riddled with so many stereotypes that make everyone & anyone look so bad. Most of the shows I like are competitions like Amazing Race, Hair Battle Spectacular & Ru Paul's Drag U. In my Opinion, the contestants or cast members are tame compared to others. But I have a couple of guilty pleasures like Toddlers & Tiaras & Bridezillas that have people on there that will make you cringe. But as bad, vile, & violent as some of the cast mates are I still watch. I watch Toddlers & Tiaras in hope to see a pageant butt whooping. Shoot, I'll settle for a pageant spanking.




But what is it about a Housewife that really has a job or a Wife that is really an ex-wife, or some really hickey guys picking out their trout dinner even though it's with their hand and not with a fishing rod that makes us tune in everyday, all day. I remember when I first saw the Real Housewives of Atlanta, they were on Ellen and a fight broke out within the group right on stage during the interview. 8O I was disgusted. Why fight like that? I found out later Kim runs her gossiping mouth to much around town & other Housewives series about everybody on the show. If I see another woman fight another woman on a show I am gonna scream. Did they burn their bras in the 60's for this. And men are not exempt. American Chopper has father & son fighting hard with each other. And I've seen the a commercial for A-List Dallas. I think the will make me wish we could vote them out of the metroplex. Riddled with Gay & Texas stereotypes and myths. And I have a strange feeling everyone from Jersey (Jorsey) does not sound the cast mates of all the numerous of reality show that depict life from Jersey. 8(




The state of reality television saddens me. I call most of it Trash Reality. Because of all the fighting, cursing and stereotypes. And I feel like very few of us are embarrassed by it. I am. As a black woman from Dallas, TX a state in the United States of America a country in the continent of North America on the planet Earth, inhabited by my people human beings am embarrassed. But I guess the attitude of "Hey it's not me & mine acting that way" is the popular mind set.

MY SITTING SHOES

Next summer I'm wearing these puppies
Come on sitting event for the sitting shoes

Reputting them away *tear*
I know I got issues

Everyone who knows me knows when it comes to my feet I do not believe fashion is pain. I'll wear girdles, shaping cami, body slips, panyhose d lift my bust as high as I can stand it that day or night but my feet have to feel good. I only wear High heels (over 2 1/2 inches) to sitting events (75 - 100 % sitting). Like jazz bars or funerals of my relatives (because I know I'll have a seat).

I used to wear them to church but I changed churches The church I attend now we stand for praise and worship for at least 15 to 30 minutes and I don't like taking my shoes of in public. So the 2 1/2 go into the Lord's house.

Those pair I had a chance to wear them for my birthday in June. But after grocery shopping, going to the bank, and walking all over two shoes store with my teenage niece looking for her some comfy shoes, my ankle was a tad swollen so I settled for some cute wedges that evening.

I have friends that subscribe to the pain is beauty rule when it comes to shoes. One can't line dance without sitting & the other's foot swells in stilettos. Yet they forge ahead in their trendy footwear.  Such brave souls.

I've even noticed in many pictures I quite shorter than my friends. LoL I'm already 5'2" and standing in ankle wraped thong sandals (though very cute) next to someone in 4 inch gladitors looks hilarious. But hey I could hit the dance floor all night. They could not.

And you would think somebody would make cuter comfortable Mid- high to flat shoes or Comfortable High heel shoes. But nooooo not so. Oh well. On to next year. To wear my patent leather (yes I follow the labor day rule) high heeled platformed pumps LoL Let me get out the peep toe wedges

Umm It's Just Social Networking, Dang!!!

I got a friend who just deleted one of their Social Networking account because of their "messy" co-workers found it or friend requested them. And not wanting to cause drama or hurt feelings at work he just deleted the account.

I've already told my pal that they were crazy for doing that( in a loving OutSpoken_Diva way). Nobody is gonna drive me away.

But I don't understand drama because I don't want to be your social networking friend. That is childish. It's JUST social networking. And my pal's tale is not the first time I've heard of this, many have this woe. Even I've experienced too. But why is that? Do people have to have so much validation in life that a denied friend request would break your heart? Well I've crash a many of them and will continue to do so.

If I don't feel that a person needs to be my social network buddy for whatever reason I will not have them be my social network pal. Point Blank. Nothing more, Sad if it was less.

7 Ways to Glam Up the Walk of Shame???

Saw this article today 7 Ways to Glam Up the Walk of Shame and my reaction was Ewww. I am not a prude I know people have sex but why are they glorifying the "Walk of Shame". Umm that is SHAMEFUL. Pretty much need to say "How to be Cute after being a Jump Off". Walk of Shame is not something to be proud of. Let me be crass, if you Can't wash your butt at their place then umm...

I don't think some people understand the outcome of their decision. There toooo many diseases out there to be all willy nilly about casual sex. There's nothing Glamorous about catching an STD or HIV/AIDS. And amazing how this article never at least suggested "safe sex" How about an article on the Ways on Preventing the Walk of Shame. Like one tip being "Slow you hot tail down"

Well Hello Beautiful I think this article is down right ugly. Shame on You!!!

Life's Soundtrack

If life had a sound track what would it sound Like

Opening Credits: Southern Girl - Erykan Badu

Waking Up: Morning Sun by George Duke

Average Day: Playing for Time by Acoustic Alchemy

First Date: Bubbly - Colbe Caillat

Falling In Love: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah - Voices

Love Scene: Septembro - Quincy Jones

Fight Scene: I Refuse - Aaliyah

Breaking Up: Gotta Go Gotta Leave - Vivienne Green

Getting Back Together: Old Friend - Phylis Hyman

Secret Love: Favorite Fantasy - Morisha Danee'

Life's Okay: If You're Happy & You Know It - Vickie Winans

Mental Breakdown: Univited - Alanis Morissette

Driving: Liberation- OutKast

Learning A Lesson: Make Me Over - Tonex

Deep Thought: Smile - Chris Botti

Flashback: Que Sera Que Sera - Sly Stone & the Family

Happy Dance: Ebony Eyes - Stevie Wonder

Regretting: Without You - Charlie Wilson

Long Night Alone: Raw Sugar - Paul Taylor

Death Scene: I Bow Out - John P Kee

Closing Credits: Nothing to Lose - The Clark Sisters

WAIT'S THAT'S MY LIFE
NOW WHAT'S YOU LIFE'S SOUNDTRACK

Let's Keep it Real

People always want to Keep it Real. But Everyone should not Keep it Real they should Keep it Real for them. As we all should. I am a firm believer that what is Real for You is Fake to Everyone Else. No one else can be the real you but you. If you are living your truths ONLY then you are keeping it real!!!  :D

WELCOME

Ummm an OutSpokenDiva, A tad bit of an Opinionated_Cutie, One might Say!!! My Life is an Open Book!!! Just make sure you're Literate enough to Read it!!! And if you read my Thoughts you're reading a page of that Open Book!!!