You're the Inspiration

Did you start singing the Chicago song, because of the title. LoL I hope you did. Just reminds me of  my 80s childhood.

I've been very bloggy(chatty) lately.

And if I never tell you all Thank You, let me tell you now.

Thank You to You All!!!

This platform was just an outlet for my thoughts. I hear & read so much and needed somewhere to purge. I'm not a complete empath. But like many people, I do have different levels of empathy. I know everybody doesn't want to care about what you care about, when you care it. But I had to get my thoughts out and here is where they go in online land.

The Citizens of the World are my Inspiration. The good, bad, & the in-between in us all could be a post on this blog. I don't post it all because life is not lived in order to have a blog. Life is for Living. And world thank you for living, so I can keep thinking.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Stop Sniggling!!!

I was couponing and watching my nephew play with his remote control cars, Saturday morning when this post topic really settled in my spirit. It was born Friday night at the Ladies Choice Concert. My sister & I were waiting for Jagged Edge, Dru Hill, & Avant to hit the stage and watching people fill in their seats. Two fellow BBWs came and sat beside me. The seats at the Music Hall are not hip friendly. What theater seats are? I gather myself in my seat, making sure the lady had room to be her seat. The lady beside me eases herself in her seat.

About 5 minutes later, she starts sniggling (snicker + giggle) to her friend. "These seats are a trip". For another few minutes, she is sniggling so hard and so much she is shaking me. Ok, a few more minutes, I leaned forward to take an annoyed selfie. Then I quietly said to my sister with a straight face, "She's going to have to stop sniggling". And like that the sniggling stopped. A few moments later, she & her friend got up, went to talk to the usher and never came back. They didn't point in my direction so, it had be the seats. *shrug* The two seats beside me were empty for the rest of the night. Hey, gave me room to do dance a little. 🎶Beauty is Her Name🎶 LoL

We All Are in This Thing Called Life, Together. We have to work as unit, many times. Many times it is uncomfortable. Your reaction to your discomfort can help or hurt the unit. Sometimes we need to check if our response shaking others trying to work through the situation, unnecessarily. Again, we are all in this together!!!

I do hope the ladies found comfort somewhere, somehow. They said it was a packed house. Other than their seats, it looked pretty packed to me. It was really good. Dru Hill, alone did a 45 minute show. It even included some Sisqo music. I hope they didn't decided to separate themselves and went home. I'll Make You This Promise that it was a good show. And I, OUTSPOKEN_DIVA, Never Made a Promise, That I Can't Keep. Might as well chuckle at my corniness. Now, you can sniggle!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Can We Just Talk???

You know why Freedom of Speech is so costly these days? Because people are putting too much value on every statement made by everybody. I think people read & hear with a critical, dramatic, & trivial eye & ears these days. Just within the passed few days I've caught myself defending my simple statements and wondering if simple statements were said to offend me. Others more than likely, have also. How long have we been in this state? I'll be durn if I continue to interact life like this. LET STATEMENTS BE STATEMENTS, SOMETIME. I know that is a clouds & rainbows approach. But at what point do we simply talk and listen?

Sad part is somebody will read this and think I am talking about them. I'm just speaking My Truth. If My Truth feel like I am throwing vicious shade towards you...Take The Blow.

As Always, Talking in Adult Terms

The Audience at Life's Performances.

Life is a theater so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives.

Some people in your life need to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships, and family!

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to Which ones lift and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?

Which ones always have drama or don't understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around!

Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life.

Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW

Even though I celebrate my birthday all month long, my official events with my June Birthday Bestie, T.T. have come to a close. Every year within the past 6 years maybe, I am reminded of this poem above, which was emailed to me years ago. Growing up, I celebrated my birthdays traveling a lot. My birthday would usually fall during the week of the National Baptist Sunday School & Baptist Training Union (BTU) Congress. I was an attendee, for some of those years. One year, we were traveling back home from Los Angeles and at midnight, a charter bus full of church members broke out into a round of "Happy Birthday". I think that was my 13th birthday. In my twenties, people would be nice and throw me dinner or a party but invariably somebody would be upset by the end of the event. And even though my loved ones meant well, by age 27, I refused for anyone else to plan an event ever again.

As I get older I realize all the people that cause the major issues at 20s events are people that are not in my life now. As I get older, life has changed for me so, I know it has changed for other people. Sometimes the people at Act 5 of Life's performance are not around for Act 10.

Some left because you are not their type of play. Some acted up and the ushers had to escort them out of the Life Theater. This goes for the people on the Front Row to Last Row.

My birthday is not limited to Front Row people but they are the people I think of first. Over the years, that front row has changed. I remember one birthday, only two Front Row people were celebrating in person with me (It was a Monday). That was 8 years ago.

One is no longer a front-row person. She's not watching my performance anymore. I realized that I was not her type of theatrical work and she was not mine. Probably like the poem says, I should have observed some things earlier and switched that seat some time ago.

But That's Life!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Track 78 (Poetry Corner)

*sigh*  It's been a year! Just been a year!! It's Just Been A Year!!! *tears*

Track 78

Still unbelievable that the Eternal Songwriter finish Track 78
I miss the melody & lyrics of Track 78
Maybe because parts of Track 78 was apart of my Life song
A Life song that someone else will name when the Eternal Songwriter finished writing it
Don't know what notes & rhythms he will add to the sheet music of my heart
Just like adding Track 78 to his Greatest Hits compilation
It's his work to compose

My Theme Song

Today on Facebook I saw a post that said “What is the song that describes you”. Oh all the songs I have on my Getting Ready playlist (Sacred or Secular) the only song that would come to my mind is the one above these words. It’s called “Nothing to Lose” by The Clark Sisters. It written by Elbernita “Twinkie” Clark, who is on the organ (Remember her name in June).  The main lyrics simply say:

I have walked in the rain
Like Paul, I have strained
I have even felt drained, Yes I Have

I have had a taste of sorrow
From the past I had borrowed
And somehow I always felt
That there was hope for tomorrow

Jesus, Unhooked the chains
And my Lord, eased the pain


And He gave me nothing to lose
But all, to gain

If there is ever a movie made of my life this song needs to be a part of the soundtrack. Matter of fact it is listed in this Blog as the closer. Why is it the closer? Have you ever had a Great feeling and thought wow one day I’ll feel like this forever? Well, when this like is over I believe we will get our just reward. Now if at the end of this life that is not the case I’ll eat crow then. But until then that is what I will believe and will continue to believe. Trouble can’t last always. All the no’s, the yes’s & maybe’s thAT turn in no’s, the heart aches, strife and hardships that everyone including ourselves cause can’t be forever. That song tells me I am not the only one that know there is hope in another day. That makes me smile through anything.

So if you ever hear me play “Southern Girl” by Erykah Badu, “Ebony Eyes” by Stevie Wonder or “Happy and You Know It” by Vickie Winans know that these might have me bouncing around relating to them but there is one song that keeps me going for the long haul. Yes, Ms. Twinkie Clark, God gave me nothing to lose but All, to gain.

So what’s your theme song? Tell me in the comments. And just because it’s not a gospel song don’t be shamed into not listing it. What describes you, Describes you and your story.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

OUTSPOKEN_DIVA The TV Show

Ok so I got a chance to catch Blerd (Black + Nerd) Chat on Twitter. I don’t get to catch it often. Tonight’s topic was Diversity in TV Entertainment. It is very fun. Thursday at 6pm CST on Twitter join #blerdchat Of course unless your life is the pop culture definition of life, you like me are not truly seen on TV. Well my mind started swirling with what would the perfect show about me, OUTSPOKEN_DIVA be like. I started laughing at the perfect possibilities.

1.       I’m Christian and not ashamed of it. Since I don’t believe in most of the cons of going to church especially a black church of course I have to show my character going to church sometime.

2.       I’m Plus Size, Wear Comfortable Trendy clothing & shoes, shapewear & stockings and still rock a relaxer 85% of the time without a weave Probably will show my awkward attack by Team Natural and lamenting to my Naturalista sister, family & friends about it (Team Natural has become a negative and Naturalista is a term of endearment for me (was supposed to write a blog but life got in the way)

3.       I’m Formally Educated and I still live in the hood So I’ll have a basic professional job. Probably the job I initially went to college for…School Nurse, more than likely in the public school system. I’ll have the neighbors who don’t understand why I don’t hang with them often and don’t understand why they like me. Oh and the occasional newspaper will gets stolen (that really happens some weeks)

4.       I’m Single, Over 30 and Comfortable with it. So my occasional dating life would be shown. Probably would have an up & down romantic rapport with some longtime pal. Give myself a When will they… storyline

5.       Social Life is occasional but it will awkward. I have to stay true to my Social life. See me get geeked up about going out, see me try to fashionably dress myself to go out, go out and depending on the situation have a good time or not. I actually do know how to line dance well. So no bumping into people off beat. Maybe goofily learning the latest one. Oh I will have a “club” name, one for the white or multi-racial clubs and one for predominantly black clubs like in real life.

6.       Oh I am a Southerner (Texas). I live in a metropolitan area.  I will not have an annoying Southern Drawl (like in the movie Jason’s Lyric (I can’t stand that movie for that reason) Wait maybe my dislike for that movie can be a topic). But I will go to a State Fair, the weather will be hot in the spring, summer, & fall and cold in the winter time and there would be some southern sayings pop up (well except "Make Groceries" (I've never made those))

7.       Yes I’ll have family & friends that will reflect my real life ones. I have a diverse group of friends (relationship status, sexuality, gender, race, wait everyone is a Christian oh but wait they are all different denominations)

8.       Avid Book reader. Probably see me with a E-reader, Tablet, or book 60% of the time. Oh and I will represent writing a blog, being on Twitter and Facebook and not understanding why Myspace is still the fad anymore. Oh and my love for Web Shows & Indie Films.

9.       Still like stuff from my Childhood in the 80’s and Teen Years in the 90’s So I’ll have nostalgia moment that lead to flashbacks

I know missed something. Now I wrote this blog so if I see my story come across a screen I want my credit. Ha Ha, Heck, I will sue. So who would watch a show about me? Does it sound fun? What would your show be about? Would I want to watch it? Talk about diversity. Humph, Pop Culture would not know how to handle my story. I’ll freak Pop Culture out. *evil laugh*

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Can’t Box Me In

Being me in a swirling job. I don’t remember when it happened. Maybe it was the way my life was meant to be lived. I have all these parts of me that live together. My life is like a big house party where each room, the scene and music changes. Only thing is there is no layout map. Next door to reading room might be the researching the latest Plus Size fashions but you expected the gospel ballads room.

People who have not accepted me as the life chameleon I am, are comical to me. They are constantly trying to box me in. They know I’m a Christian and soon as they get used to that and I say I believe the Big Bang Theory, they scramble in confusion. People who know me as a nerd, call me on Friday nights and find out I’m at a Happy Hour event doing the latest line dances, wonder if I’m trying to be “hip” all of a sudden. People who know I can do line dances wonder how I won a Fantasy football league. And the list goes on & on.

You can’t box me in. You can’t box anyone in. Everyone is a swirl within themselves. Alright let me get back to swirling, I mean living life.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Wait! It's Not That Bad!!!

I've been reading some of my past blogs. I know I tell people "My Life is an Open Book! Just make sure you're Literate enough to Read it!"  I just hope my story does not make you guys don't think I had this harsh life growing up. I hope that was not the impression I am giving. I have a very Blessed life. I got a tattoo to symbolize just that.


Miss Smiles!!! (Yes, that is a foot)

 Yeah I grew up plus size but I was well liked. I had many friends. I see people who were not plus size growing up and they have a hard time handling it and become depressed. I learn long time ago; this is the skin I am in.

I may have been horribly picked on in 5th grade but in 4th & 6th grade, I was an honor roll star. In 7th grade, I was became a member of the National Junior Honor Society. Oh yeah I went to a Magnet School. I watch TV shows and movies about people who went to a regular comprehensive high school and I know, Socially, I had it so easy.

I may have been a church nerd but I don't have a fear of public speaking because of the opportunities of given assignments to teach a bible lesson, being the Youth Announcement Clerk, and the welcome giver for several programs. Have you seen Raj on Big Bang Theory? His parents should have been members of my "foundation" (childhood) church.

No my father was not in my life but I've mentioned I had my grandfather, my uncle, and several great uncles as my father figures. These men are the reason I've never agreed to anything with a man (a boy in the past) unless "I Wanted To". They taught me how to carry myself and showed me how Men should treat women and girls. I am proud to say, “I have Standards".

Yeah, I write with my left hand and a person commenting on it gets on my nerves. But that book scholarship one semester felt better than me making some smart-butt quip. I where a relaxer and someone else have a natural but Thank God we have hair. There is some one out there wishing they had hair to relax or twist.

I am a Christian. For me the have been more good days than bad. God gets all the glory for it. And in my blogs I'm not complaining.  Just hopefully being a cautionary or inspirational tale to someone that might be going or have been through something similar. A story to see that No everyday is peachy keen but most days are not rain clouds. Just sharing part of my story. Thanks for reading it as I share.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

When The Screen Door Shatters

Ok, it can't be a secret that Outspoken_Diva is a Christian.  It shouldn’t be. If you know me (birth name) on Facebook you know I end most times I speak on there with a “nice” quote. It’s my way of saying goodbye for the time being.  And sometimes events in my life give a message to tell. Well, Monday gave me a nice one to share.

After dinner we locked up the house for the evening and some how a small rock hit our screen door. This has been our screen door almost 45 years. All my life I heard "Don't slam that door, the glass will break" or "Watch how you handle that door".  Then someone would check the door for warps or a slight crack in the or around the glass. On Easter I even told my cousin's friend the latter statement.  All these years of slams and a rock shatters the top glass. Crazy part is the glass didn't fall out until we went to tap the opening latch before we took our brooms to push the glass out onto the porch.

Ironic that is how we live life. We are slammed by life tribulations day by day. Then something that seems so minute finally hurt our hearts, feeling, and souls. And finally someone slightly touches us trying to help, we just fall apart. Like we sometime didn't listen to the warning about bang our screen door, the miseries of life can hit us with some heavy blows. We have to sometime get some maintenance on our emotions to make sure we are not too warped not to be able to withstand small pebbles throw at us also.

Who would have thought screen doors could help us out with life? Well, we're getting a new door by the week's end. And we will be careful with that one also. Another door to usher in new messages into our lives. Can't wait to see what it teaches us.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Can I be REAL for a Moment?

Calling someone Fake does Not make you Real
What's Real for me maybe Fake for you and vice versa

It's sad to me, I have to say this to the Adult age people. As a  person who has been described numerous times as being "Fake" because I only LIVED MY LIFE, MY WAY,  I am tired of "Keeping it Real". I am tired of everyone "Keeping it Real". In my Opinion Society's Realness is flawed in a major way.

Explain to me why "Being Real" has to be loud, abrasive, hostile, and rude. Explain to me why "Being Fake" is the exact opposite. Now days nothing Classy, Nice or Gentle is Real. Think back to anything you or someone else described as "Real". Rap music is Real. Fighting on Reality TV is "Real". War is "Real". Now let's think on what have we heard that is "Fake". Speaking Grammatical English so "Fake". Taking Romantic walks in the park is "Fake". Someone giving words of advice or wisdom is "Fake". 

Excuse my fake butt thinking but I thought "Being Real" was "Being True". Whatever a Human being is doing it is Real. If that is how they truly are, they are not being fake. I don't understand how other people can dictate what is Real or Fake for another person. I definitely don't understand why the anger because someone else is not living their life as you are. The Gangster can't tell the MBA Executive he's fake just like the MBA Executive can't tell the Maintenance Man he's real. Whatever is Your True Story is Your Realness. What is not is Your Fakeness. And since nobody truly knows anyone else's whole story, just what is told and what is thought to be seen, nobody is the judge of another's Realness & Fakeness.

So how about "Keep it Real" or "Being Fake" stop. How about "Keep it Truthful" or "Being Yourself". Better yet, "Mind Your Business". If you are doing that, you don't have time dabble into who is Real or Fake. Now that's Real!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Passionate to Death

Did you watch Grey's Anatomy this past Thursday? I know, Stunning!!! The old surgeon that was mentoring Yang DIED in the middle of of a surgery. WoW!!!

It's been said in a few previous blogs that I was raised in a Christian church. So I have heard my share of
ministers dying immediately after they have preached. Both young and old ministers and of all races. I have also heard that was the "Way all Reverends Want to Leave this Earth". Last breath they take is Proclaiming God's Word. I thought it was a "preacher thing". Just like "if the Pastor come to your home to eat, you give him the biggest piece of chicken. Just "stuff" church folk say.

I had Never heard of anyone else "doing that" until Thursday. The old surgeon died saving someone else life and giving sage advice to a younger surgeon he thought had so much potential.

Dying doing the thing you are most passionate about. What a concept!!! Many of us have a Bucket List but have you ever thought about the thing you would want to Do To Death. I've thought about the thing I would do even I never got paid for it. I was told that was "My Career". I found some truth in that, unfortunately. *smiling* The thing you love that you don't mind Dying Doing It. That has to be your "Life's Calling", in my opinion.

Everyone wants to leave here with a smile on there face. I bet doing something you truly Love would give you the BIGGEST smile. A smile that you would light up your funeral so much that no one would think to be sad.

I challenge All of Us to do things that we are "Passionate to Death" about. You might leave this Earth doing it with a Great Big Smile on your face.

Life's Soundtrack

If life had a sound track what would it sound Like

Opening Credits: Southern Girl - Erykan Badu

Waking Up: Morning Sun by George Duke

Average Day: Playing for Time by Acoustic Alchemy

First Date: Bubbly - Colbe Caillat

Falling In Love: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah - Voices

Love Scene: Septembro - Quincy Jones

Fight Scene: I Refuse - Aaliyah

Breaking Up: Gotta Go Gotta Leave - Vivienne Green

Getting Back Together: Old Friend - Phylis Hyman

Secret Love: Favorite Fantasy - Morisha Danee'

Life's Okay: If You're Happy & You Know It - Vickie Winans

Mental Breakdown: Univited - Alanis Morissette

Driving: Liberation- OutKast

Learning A Lesson: Make Me Over - Tonex

Deep Thought: Smile - Chris Botti

Flashback: Que Sera Que Sera - Sly Stone & the Family

Happy Dance: Ebony Eyes - Stevie Wonder

Regretting: Without You - Charlie Wilson

Long Night Alone: Raw Sugar - Paul Taylor

Death Scene: I Bow Out - John P Kee

Closing Credits: Nothing to Lose - The Clark Sisters

WAIT'S THAT'S MY LIFE
NOW WHAT'S YOU LIFE'S SOUNDTRACK