Sexual Abuse Not A Male Rite of Passage

Just when I thought it was safe to watch enetertainment news, some foolishnees come across the screen. According to an interview he did in Germany, Chris Brown said he First had sex at the age of 8 years old with a 14 year old girl. I am not shocked at his admission. It could be a lie in an attempt to look cool. It could be the truth in an attempt to look cool. But it is not cool. An 8 year old having sex is not anything to be proud of. That is sexual abuse.

Eight year olds should be watching Disney & Nickelodeon not having sex. The fourteen year old should have been doing homework and preparing herself for her future not diddling with younger children. I saw a gossip blog post their opinion on Facebook and many people men and women felt that what Brown did was consensual. How does an eight year old consent to sex? Only in the minds of people who think it is ok for boys to be little boys would think that was consensual. Having sex does not make any male a man. If this was a Christina Brown saying the same thing, society would be up in arms about the situation. If Chris Brown said he first had sex with a 14 year old boy at 8 years old, the word sexual abuse would roll off everyone's mouths. But sexist, macho attitudes makes it hard to accept that even though it was a young girl older than Brown, he was still sexually abused.

I can't be shocked this is the same society that says "R' Kelly had sex with a young girl on a video tape" but still bounce their butts to his music before he was acquitted of the charges. This is the same society that takes decades to convict priest and ministers of molesting children. This is the same society that brag about knowing fathers that took there teen sons to prostitutes to experience their first times and yet they don't have a CPS case. Until society changes their attitudes, this will still not be seen as sexual abuse. It will continue to be thought of a Male Rite of Passage. And there will still be a bunch of sexed up children walking around confused about what is going on with their bodies and their emotions.

Poor Chris Brown. He's victim of sexual abuse. But thanks to society he's too ignorant to even know it.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Can I be REAL for a Moment?

Calling someone Fake does Not make you Real
What's Real for me maybe Fake for you and vice versa

It's sad to me, I have to say this to the Adult age people. As a  person who has been described numerous times as being "Fake" because I only LIVED MY LIFE, MY WAY,  I am tired of "Keeping it Real". I am tired of everyone "Keeping it Real". In my Opinion Society's Realness is flawed in a major way.

Explain to me why "Being Real" has to be loud, abrasive, hostile, and rude. Explain to me why "Being Fake" is the exact opposite. Now days nothing Classy, Nice or Gentle is Real. Think back to anything you or someone else described as "Real". Rap music is Real. Fighting on Reality TV is "Real". War is "Real". Now let's think on what have we heard that is "Fake". Speaking Grammatical English so "Fake". Taking Romantic walks in the park is "Fake". Someone giving words of advice or wisdom is "Fake". 

Excuse my fake butt thinking but I thought "Being Real" was "Being True". Whatever a Human being is doing it is Real. If that is how they truly are, they are not being fake. I don't understand how other people can dictate what is Real or Fake for another person. I definitely don't understand why the anger because someone else is not living their life as you are. The Gangster can't tell the MBA Executive he's fake just like the MBA Executive can't tell the Maintenance Man he's real. Whatever is Your True Story is Your Realness. What is not is Your Fakeness. And since nobody truly knows anyone else's whole story, just what is told and what is thought to be seen, nobody is the judge of another's Realness & Fakeness.

So how about "Keep it Real" or "Being Fake" stop. How about "Keep it Truthful" or "Being Yourself". Better yet, "Mind Your Business". If you are doing that, you don't have time dabble into who is Real or Fake. Now that's Real!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Too Much Emphasis on Sex

Today while straightening my grandmother's hair I was listening to a rerun of the Oprah
Show on her OWN channel. The show was about two 30 y/o ladies who were virgins  and
ashamed of to be sexually inexperienced. It was sad to me. Not because they were
virgins. As a celibate individual (YES a choice I call "Being Radical" I don't regret and a badge I wear as proud as my skin) that will never be something I would do. But because they felt like they were missing out on something in life. Because they felt like they are only people not getting the punch line of a joke. Of course it came out that they had underlying control & self esteem issues that were part of the blame. In my opinion, I blame society in part because they felt like they were less than because they were virgins. You see many movies & books about the poor virgin that NEEDS to get their cherry popped before it is too late. Too late for what? Vibrators and Dildos are is so many everyday catalogs I could scream. Levitra, Extenze, and ED medicine commercials are on TV before Prime time TV. On Halloween what kind of costumes sell the most? The list goes on & on. So it's no wonder these ladies thought it was embarrassing to be virgins. Even in my recent past I have learn not to discuss my celibacy with all my friends because some do not understand. Some one minute are praising me for that decision, the next minute think I'm crazy. Then there are some to suggest I "need to get some" but when I pay attention to their lives I realize they "need to get some" actually. One friend (whose only had "sex" once) I did tell that friend to catch up to my past then suggest that to me. I have not heard that suggestion anymore from that person's mouth. What is the obsession with sex about? Why is it everywhere? Why is it made to believe that if you're not doing it, something is wrong with you.? That was something I didn't hear on the show. No one ever ask the ladies were they Sure they even wanted to have sex. Somebody needed to have that kind of talk with them. Once they handle the control and self esteem issues, then decide to have sex there are heap of other emotions that come with that. Kinda of talk that teenage girls need to have before they have sex. Many of them are not being talked to either so why am I shocked. Maybe because there was a Doctor involved. But hey the goal was "getting them some" not making sure they look before they leap. They did help one to get know her body. That is a good thing. Can't expect somebody else to know what you like of you don't. I wish the ladies well. Hope they make a decision they can live with. And the shame of being 30 & a virgin is gone. Don't want the shame to cause them to have sex prematurely.


*Talking to You in Grown Up*