"Catfish" My New Television Guilty Pleasure

 *Spoiler Warning*

Okay, It's no secret that I don't watch many popular reality shows. You know the ones that Wives, Hip Hop, Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bad, Club, or Chrissy in the title of it. I don't watch them. Yes, it gets me stared at crazy by many I know. I don't relate at all. I just don't understand all that fighting and you are not competing for a Large Cash Grand Prize or Job (Like RuPaul's Drag Race, Big Brother, or Amazing Race) or Not Relatives (Like Mary Mary) Yes, the Parentheses are shows I watch and I have some "Guilty Pleasure" shows I do watches like Cheaters, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Bridezillas. Well, there is an addition to the "Guilty Pleasures" list and its name is Catfish the TV Show.

It is derived from a Documentary about a guy who meets his online love and finds out she was not who she said was. Well after the movie aired the man was bombarded with emails with people with online love horror stories. The show is about that same guy helping people find out if their online lovers are lying or not. So far in five episodes, no one is telling the truth. I have faith though. It may be the Season finale but I have faith somebody will be telling the truth. (Yes, you can laugh).

The show is a trip. There is an episode with a lady who was a stripper and thought she dating a childless male stripper. The male stripper was a husky guy with children that was supposed to be the male stripper's promoter. There is the episode where a young lady thought for almost 2 years she was talking to a guy and it was a cruel prank of an ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend. The girlfriend was Not remorseful at all because she just wanted the girl to leave her boyfriend. I pray that the young lady learns better and more mature conflict management. *sigh* Then there was the most interesting case to date to me. The lady had a boyfriend who wanted to marry her. Yet, she had a 10-year online romance that she wanted to meet to make a decision.

I try to watch this show with an open mind. This could happen to anyone. There are so many liars out there in the world. But like Cheaters, I think it is sad that this show is even needed. People don't use common sense or are too lazy to do the "homework" on someone before meeting one another and even worse catching feelings. A central theme I see is almost Anuptahobic people trying to date. They are so scared to be alone that they accept these obvious lies. I'm sorry "Never being able to meet" is an obvious lie. Especially if for longer than 3 months if you live in the same city, in my opinion, is a bald-faced lie. Who never has time if they are single and telling the truth? Even if you met while both were grocery shopping. I understand long-distance love puts a strain on the meeting but listen to what they say when you finally become able to meet.

As for being too lazy to do the Homework, it amazed me how everyone has at least a Facebook page on this show. Yet, no one looks through the page fully. Many of the clues are found on the Facebook pages of the offender. They go to a Modeling school in India. Friends of the offender have the same pictures as the offender that happens to look just like the offender. While we texting each other I'd be all on their page.  If "Bells" went off enough to email Catfish Ummm "Bells" should have gone off for you to do your own investigating. If he could find it...

I date No One without doing All my homework. As I get older and add to my dating experience, the amount of homework has increased. I've dated online men before. Met the man to become one of my best friends that way (That was a Confession). I also met the Best Liar in the World ever (trust me he increased my amount of homework) online also.  We always met in a public place. Sometimes I brought my friends along, just in case a dude stood me up. Never had it to happen. But we always met within a month. And if we can't meet, I tell the dude to lose my number (Hey, am I wrong for saying "Lose my Number" to dismissed guys? Just Curious!). In the words of Sweet Brown "Ain't Nobody got Time Fah Dat".

So, that's my new "Guilty Pleasure", Catfish the TV Show. I'm going to watch Catfish the Documentary one day. I want to see this guy's journey. I do know him and the girl became good friends. Okay let me catch the latest episode with my fingers crossed the "offender" is true blue. LoL

Putting Your Fork in Someone Else's Plate

Okay, the title of this blog need work. Sounds unsanitary! Oh well! Earlier this year Chef & TV Host Mario Batali and his family and recently Newark Mayor Cory Booked lived on Food Stamps for a week. They did it to get an understanding of how it is to live on them. Though there are many critics, I think what they did is very courageous.

I've never personally lived on Food Stamps. I've done papers on the Food Stamps Program.  I have eaten food bought by Food Stamps. I have paid for the toiletries and medications of a few people who have lived on Food Stamps. I have hugged and dried the tears of someone who is on Food Stamps.

I was furious when there were cities such as New York considered ending the Food Stamp program. Ending the Food Stamp Program is horrible. If anything the Food Stamps program needs to be regulated. I've seen people buy birthday and wedding cakes with Food Stamps. I keep hearing there are places where Soda, Alcohol, and Tobacco can be bought. So I understand the frowning at the dysfunction. But before leaders eliminate it have they tried to fix it? No, because they don't have a clue on how they understand it. Can't fix what you don't understand. But instead of being educated, you just do away with it. Wow, that seems like a productive attitude.

Leaders that have a "Do Away with It" attitude act like All of those on Food Stamps Want to be on Food Stamps. I'm not saying "The Career Food Stamp Recipient" is a myth. It's Just not the only picture about those who receive Food Stamps. The number of abusers of the system is low. Even some of the abusers abuse out of desperation. I said I have paid for the non-food items for some on Food Stamps. Everybody does not have people that can buy toilet tissue or soap for them to help them out. Some people have people who will do it but at a cost. So many feel they have to "sell" their stamps for cash. Remember this is to buy food. Where is the money to buy non-food items, go to non-food places, or pay the non-food bills? This is not Cash. It doesn't pay for everything in life.

Again I applaud Mario Batali, Cory Booker, and other leaders that are trying to understand. The saying says Put your Foot in Someone Else's Shoe and I bet it will Pinch. Put your Fork on Someone Else's Plate and I bet the Food will Taste Different.

My Thoughts! What are Yours???

16th Birthday Party Stripper

So, a mom hired a stripper for her son's 16th birthday and the parents of the party guests are outraged. I can't even believe I am shocked. This was bound to happen This was bound to be reported. The authorities are investigating to find out if any inappropriate sexual acts occurred.

The mother is not the unbelievable adult in this case. I'll get on her in a minute. The stripper was wrong also. Ummm is it so hard out there for strippers that dancing for children for the right dollar amount is okay in their minds. She may not have known before getting to the event but she knew when she got there that the group was underage. She should have left. I don't know what she made in tip. Most Teenagers don't have "Bands to make Huh Dance". But I guess a Buck is a Buck & Anything for it. I hate to think if they find out if anything more than dancing happened. Arrest her please.

I was 25 years old going to bachelorette party at a club. One of the dancers was a guy that grew up with my older sister & older cousins and knew me as a kid. He wouldn't let me in until he saw my ID himself. So all the dancers are not dancing for the underage.

Okay let talk Ms. Obvious, the mother. It is equivalent to Dads hiring prostitutes for their sons. Yes, I think that is wrong also. How do parents think their children will have healthy attitudes about sex? What will her son have to look forward to when he becomes legal age to look at strippers? She is clearly a parent that trying to be the child's friend. This is immature and irresponsible. Who wants to see their child enjoy a stripper?  The parents of the party guests probably ripped her a new one. I would have. Police calling me about some stripper she hired for a party my kid was at. Now I have ask my child for the truth. Allow the investigators to question my child. If more than dancing went on then there's going to be a trial. Way to much.

Strippers Do Not belong at birthday party of those under the legal age. Legal age may change form state to state but I'm sure 16 years old is not legal.

Retail Ungratefulness...

Okay I will say that I don't participate in Black Friday. I don't understand it. I know Many that do. I spend Black Friday sleeping and resting from Thanksgiving festivities. Now Cyber Monday, that's when I start the my little shopping.

Black Friday this year is unreal. It all starts Thursday, Thanksgiving Day. I've seen some stores opening as early as 6:00 am Thursday. My problem is not with the shoppers, it with the stores. Thanksgiving mean nothing to them. That apparent they put Christmas out right after Halloween. Their employees mean nothing to them. Have them working instead of being at home for the holiday. Instead of being Grateful all for being able to be a store and take a moment to say Thank You, they rather run them into ground by working them all these hours dealing with sale hungry customers.

Target says they are listening to their customers by being opened early. Target, in my opinion, is listening to the dollar bill. All these stores are listening to the dollar bill. I won't be surprised if being opened Thursday won't bring out the crowds that they think they will get. I won't be surprised some people are still gonna act up if what they want is out. I won't be surprised that opening Thursday won't bring in the revenue they think they will bring in. I will  be surprised if their employees don't feel abused and misused.

A store is about the workers and customers. Only half of the store is being heard. Let the employees off that day and enjoy their holiday like everyone else.

So I guess this year I spend the shopping holiday Cooking, watching the Macy's Day Parade and Eating with my Family. Because Black Friday starts on Thursday. Now that I'm thinking about it Thanksgiving get NO LOVE. Already only have a Few Holiday songs for the occasion. Now Black Friday is honing in on it's day. *sigh* I still celebrate you Thanksgiving. *BIG* Hug!!!

Alright that's how I feel. If you are out this Black Whatever day Be Safe & Pick me out something nice. Can't go wrong with Diamonds. *smile*

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Passionate to Death

Did you watch Grey's Anatomy this past Thursday? I know, Stunning!!! The old surgeon that was mentoring Yang DIED in the middle of of a surgery. WoW!!!

It's been said in a few previous blogs that I was raised in a Christian church. So I have heard my share of
ministers dying immediately after they have preached. Both young and old ministers and of all races. I have also heard that was the "Way all Reverends Want to Leave this Earth". Last breath they take is Proclaiming God's Word. I thought it was a "preacher thing". Just like "if the Pastor come to your home to eat, you give him the biggest piece of chicken. Just "stuff" church folk say.

I had Never heard of anyone else "doing that" until Thursday. The old surgeon died saving someone else life and giving sage advice to a younger surgeon he thought had so much potential.

Dying doing the thing you are most passionate about. What a concept!!! Many of us have a Bucket List but have you ever thought about the thing you would want to Do To Death. I've thought about the thing I would do even I never got paid for it. I was told that was "My Career". I found some truth in that, unfortunately. *smiling* The thing you love that you don't mind Dying Doing It. That has to be your "Life's Calling", in my opinion.

Everyone wants to leave here with a smile on there face. I bet doing something you truly Love would give you the BIGGEST smile. A smile that you would light up your funeral so much that no one would think to be sad.

I challenge All of Us to do things that we are "Passionate to Death" about. You might leave this Earth doing it with a Great Big Smile on your face.

How Much Time to Take?

I've been watching Think Like a Man a lot lately. I just think Romany Malaco is so cute. I even added him to the Eye Candy list. (yes there is a list of handsome known actors, singers, athlete, etc to me for me) Well the last time I watched it last month I thought "Umm I wonder if anyone is following the 90 day rule? Has the use of the 90 day rule increased since the book came out? Has the use of the 90 day rule increased since the movie came out?

Then my friend T.T. asked on a FB group this question: Do you guys believe in the 30 day rule, waiting until marriage, one night stands, etc? What's your stance on this? a few days ago. Well this got me to thinking Umm time to post this to the blog.

I read the book when it first came out. I have a hardback copy. I'm an avid reader. I'll read anything once. There were many parts that were very helpful and then there were parts that I couldn't believe needed to be said. The 90 Day rule was one. (The reason why men cheat was another) All I could think was "Joan on Girlfriends had a 3 Month Rule and people thought she was goofy & crazy. Well, Well I guess Steve Harvey is goofy & crazy also. 3 months is 90 days." When the movie cam out I was happy they had a character that tried the 90-day Rule. It said to me unlike many movies Everybody is not hooking up all willy-nilly. Everybody is not sleeping with any and everybody. And some that are feel bad afterwards.

There is a previous post that alludes to my personal stance for My Life. So that doesn't need to be retold.
Go find it. Now my stance for people in general should not shock anybody. I feel any Adult having sex shouldn't until they've had a thorough talk with their partner. Take as long as needed. Past 90 days if you want to. There is way too much crazy out there. Physical health issues, Mental health issues, Emotional hang-ups, and Personal values are among the things that need to be discussed. Okay two examples. Woman who never has sex without a condom meets a man who hates to wear condoms. They need to talk and in the act of passion is not the time to talk or compromise. Man has sex with a virgin and he didn't know until afterwards. They needed to talk.

Now for the people who have One Night Stands. Know the One Night Stand Rules and most importantly Use Protection.

Every One having sex Know Your Status on All STD's including HIV/AIDS

So that my opinion. How do you feel? Did anything in the book and/or movie change your mind on any behavior

Really Friend?!? Really??? Part 2

No one who knows me will ever say I don't take my friendships seriously. There are my family memebers I got to pick. I don't have many. It hurts when I have to let one go, especially when other people are the reaason. It makes me frown to see other people's friendships break up because of other people. Breaking up because the dating rules is the worse.

What happened to the "code"? No better yet Let me rephrase the question. How many friendships are bound by the "code"? *sigh* The "code" aka The unwritten rules of friendship. The rule you don't break even if they say it's okay. And they approve, you don't do it because you are a true friend. The 2 rules I want focus on are1) DoNot date or purposly sleep with an ex of friend. 2) If interest in the same person and we both know it we check who that person is actually interested in and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.

This blog will focus on the rule: If interested in the same person and we both know it we should find if that person is actually interested and if so which friend and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.

Okay in High School I didn't abide by this rule for weird reason. If they weren't your boyfriend or boyfriend-like, he was free game to flirt with. Don't remember doing it often but I know I did it. As single as I was most of high school I should've never did that. Happy, I outgrew that in Adulthood (Praise Break) becasue that behavior is horrible.

I see friends flirt with the same person at the same time and I flinch. It is a disaster waiting to happen. Many time somebody is going to be rejected. I never competitive flirt with a friend.

My friend TT and I often see guys we both think are attractive. We give each other "the eye and more than likely just giggle. If she sees that Mr. "We think is Cute" is looking my way she'll nicely tells me. And if Mr. "We think is Cute"approaches her I step aside. Why compete? Most times Mr. "We think is Cute" is not looking at either of us. (that's why you find out if they are even interested)

I don't understand any adult that would let friends complete flirt over them. Clearly that person is just looking for the most "willing" friend.  If you are not in a "willing" way why do it? In the long run both friend will get rejected in way or the other.

It's not worth a friendship. If friends are attracted to the same person it should be maturely discuss. Again another way to get to know your friends. If this happens and you are the friend that the interested party is not attracted to, yes walk away nice. It's okay, to be happy for your friend.  Shouldn't be sore losers & haughty winners in friendship or dating.

Like Part 1, who disagrees? Who agrees? Who has gone through this? Let me know (comment box has been fixed so It's welcomed to all) No arguments!!! Agree to Disagree *another personal friendship rule*

Really Friend?!? Really??? Part 1

No one who knows me will ever say I don't take my friendships seriously. There are my family members I got to pick. I don't have many. It hurts when I have to let one go, especially when other people are the reason. It makes me frown to see other people's friendships break up because of other people. Breaking up because the dating rules is the worse.

What happened to the "code"? No better yet Let me rephrase the question. How many friendships are bound by the "code"? *sigh* The "code" aka The unwritten rules of friendship. The rule you don't break even if they say it's okay. And they approve, you don't do it because you are a true friend. The 2 rules I want focus on are1) Do Not date or purposely sleep with an ex of friend. 2) If interest in the same person and we both know it we check who that person is actually interested in and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.

This blog will focus on the rule: Do Not Date or Purposely Sleep with an ex of a friend.

I've been interested in this topic for a few years. I follow the Friendship Code closely. And the relationship parts I can't imagine breaking. Well some years ago I had to get concerned when a friend's (still my friend) interest in an ex of mine that was too much for my comfort. She only saw him once in passing at the fair. Then it become "Omg, he sexy" "Like y'all are just friends, now" I thought I had just step into daytime TV hell. I didn't know how to react but something to me to wait her behavior out. While I waited I would bring up the "code" up in conversation. Well after awhile when there a possible meeting between him and us again her statements changed to "Oh is he's going to have friends over for me to meet also"?.

Within the past decades I hear more friends dating their friends ex's than I used to. Most experiences are not positive ones. Friendships are being broken. Makes me think there "the code" no longer matters but all these broken friendships tells me it's not. Some say "They weren't really your friend". In many cases I might agree. I actually also think Friends need to have "code" conversations. After my experience I started having them with mine. Trust me you'll find out a lot about your friend if you do. Some say "what if it's true love" Perhaps but how often does this end in true love. Uh huh, that's what I thought.

I figured my friends and I have different tastes in the people we date but similar dating standards and values. Well if they broke up and probably because of something I think is not right. So why would I get their ex for us to got through that to.

Okay so who disagrees? Who agrees? Who has gone through this? Let me know (comment box has been fixed so It's welcomed to all) No arguments!!! Agree to Disagree *another personal friendship rule*

Straight to Women

Just read an article on Clutch Magazine. Topic was "She's Tired of Men... Now On To Women". Click  Here to Read. My mind got to turning & swirling. Because I Think this topic has always been utter B.S. Wait, Wait, First, Let me answer question personally.

No, because I know I am Heterosexual. For me to do that would say I'm desperate not to be lonely. If I'm tired I'm tired. So it's time to step away for a while or forever. Maybe companionship is not in the cards for me. I will stop dating before I date a woman. That's my Honest answer.

This is one of the topics that proves that humans are liars. Who do we lie to the most? Ourselves!!!

Yes Lies to yourself. Answer these set  question honestly. What about men makes you tired?  Have you ever thought about the men you are dating? Attracting?

Yes, there are MANY trifling men out there. So many that there are days I wonder is trifling the norm and decency is the flaw. I'm serious. I could fill a half-way house with the liars, dawgs, & general a-holes that I've dated. But just as screwy these guys can make you ummm if you don't work on yourself screwy you can stay.

Next set of questions. Again Honest answers only. Are you really attracted to women? Could you be bisexual? Are you aware women have issues also. Are you aware Humans have the ability to be trifling.
I know a lady who decided to date women after dating men. Recently she decided to be honest and realize she was not attracted to women. It occurred to her that her girlfriend(s) always had to initiate sex. In her relationships with women she would have All of the same type of fights and I think at a more frequent rate as she did with men.  If you're not interested in women, why date one. That's is lying to that woman. She would like to date someone whose interested. Wasting her time. I'm pretty sure she's would rather you knew sexuality before dating her.  And yes, lesbian have arguments, fights, and issue also. Lesbians cheat, lie, and can be a-holes too. Umm, hello they are human!!!

Last questions to honestly answer.  Do you give space in between relationships/rapports? Are changing your dating style and/or approach? Are you Lonely?

So many people (men & women) are so lonely out there. Lonely to the point that they will try and settle for anything. People, we can't be that lonely in life! That how the dating predators slip in. Loneliness make you vulnerable. Find what it's like to date you before dating anyone else for a while. Heal yourself. Check for scars, scrapes, bullet wounds,and well sometimes the bullet before getting back out there to date. While you out of the game keep tabs on so you won't be awkward when you come bad.  I do it all the time.

All I Want You To Do Is:

VOTE

In my opinion Non-voters Should Not Complain and Whine when things are not going the way they think they should. If the Affordable Health Care Act is repealed, a non-voter does not get to complain. If Homosexual marriage becomes Federal Law, a non-voter should not be in protest. If all clinics that provide abortions close or taxes increase for the wealthy and decrease for the poor and middle class a non-voter's voice is one that should not be heard.

Want to be heard, It starts in the Voter's Booth.

I don't care who you vote for. I just care that you VOTE

IDK...A Very Random Blog

Have you ever thought about the random conversations you have with strangers? This past weekend I did and I had to laugh to myself. On top of people telling me to smile (my "blank/nothing is going on look" draws concern somehow) all the time, random people will strike up a conversation with me. Yes, I am friendly most times. Rarely do I give them the "shut up" look.

This past Friday I was at a happy hour (yes, where shapewear needs to be enforced) and since I couldn't find my brown clutch bag that matched my outfit, I just went with my coin purse that has my keys & pepper spray hooked to it. I do it a lot. I carried that more than I did on campus during undergrad. I mean it was where my ID and essentials go everyday, so thought nothing of it. Well this man standing by the table asked me was that mine. I said yes. He then started talking about how bold I was to bring it inside. I had to tell him that it was hooked to my small purse & keys. Then he asked did I ever use it and hoped I did spray it in there. I finally said only if forced to. His buddy walked up and that was the end of that.

I know very random. Maybe he was sprayed before and had a fear of the stuff. Maybe that was the first time he had ever seen pepper spray indoors. Bless his heart!!!

But thinking over that lead me to think about all the conversations that are had with strangers. Along with the many memories that flowed. My mind started asking questions. What have I learned? What have I taught? How many strangers have I spoken with? How many should I have spoken to? How many will I speak to in the future?

Of course I didn't know the answer. Life's end might. And if it doesn't, "Oh Well". Just something else random in our "meaningful lives".

Oh Yeah Enjoy the Poem. Heard it a few years ago on Myspace. I like it!!!

A Fashion Rant & Announcement

Announcement 1st: I am going to Stop investing girdles & shapers and invest in cheap tight fitting dresses and let it all hang out! Because apparently it is the fashionable thing to do.

Now the topic of this rant is not a surprise. I am tired of seeing women in tight fitting clothing without the proper foundation garments. This is not just to the Plus Size community. This is for Any woman who has an extra pudge on their body somewhere. It's like woman are not even trying to look decent.

Foundation garments are bras, girdles (capris, long leg, boxers, & brief panties, thong), shaping slips, shaping camisoles, waist cinchers, bustiers, and corsets. Foundation garments also come in firm, moderate, and light controls. They help you look smoother in your clothing. They can be bought so many stores that sell clothing & lingerie, from Walmart to Neiman Marcus.

I went out last night for happy hour and I literally saw a woman who I actually thought was pregnant. She wore about a 10 dress size, minus the tummy. But the way she dropped it on the dance floor, I knew clearly she could not be pregnant. She was wrong for wear a dress for tight it hugged around her stomach like that. Her boots were banging though. She was not the only one. Everywhere they is some woman who could look smoother is her clothing. Even on TV!!! I was watching Say Yes to the Dress and many times I wonder why are they trying on dresses without all their undergarments. Then, I see some once they are picking up their dresses and some getting married and I think "Cute Dress but she needed a girdle".

I'm not a fan of tight fitting clothes. I know I go a little extreme to some. I wear a moderate hold brief under my jeggings. Bought some and knew immediately which kind of shapers it needed. I spent more in foundation underwear in a year than I do in shoes. It is something I don't cut corner for. And don't let me see a sale. I'll go broke trying to buy more than one color or style. The only thing I want hugging on my body are the arms nice looking man. LoL

I've been wanting to say this for a while. Others including experts and style watchers have talked about it. It needs to stop. Come on Ladies, Let's Looks Smoother!!!

Paddling Not Abuse

Well in Springtown, TX (Parker County) two teenage girls were paddled by a male assistant principal for wrong doings. The school had permission by the parents but by school policy the male was not suppose to spank the females. If that is policy then I agree. Also the girls' paddling resulted in bruising on their bottoms. Most men have the ability to hit harder than women. So yeah that was a terrible thing. But the reactions from this is worse.

I'm a Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child depending on situation type non-parent. And to hear people complaints about corporal punishment is lost on me most times. Because some of these complaints are reaching. One woman said that the Male assistant principal paddling the Girls was teaching Boys It's Okay to hit Girls. WHOA! That is a bit much, IMO. I can't agree with that.

Okay so a father shouldn't spank his daughter if warranted because it teaching domestic violence is right. UMM NO! Parents are EQUALS. Parents & Children are NOT EQUALS. If a child or adult have that attitude or mindset, I think an equality lesson needs to be taught. That what wrong in so many cases. Children think they are adults' peers. Many adults have supported this attitude. Adults have the right to discipline (Not Abuse) children. Spanking is a form of discipline just like time out. Adults don't have the right to spank other adults. Children don't have the right discipline children. I think that needs to be taught to everyone. Because if a male spanking a female child is teaching a male child to hit females we are in a world of trouble.

I don't want a man that abuses women to use that as a lame excuse for his actions. "My dad spanked my sister". "But did he hit your Mom a*k*a his equal"? "No"! "Exactly! Now Shut up with that Crap!"
Stop this attitude. I want hear that again. But Some feel spanked children grow up to be more aggressive adults. I know some people who can shoot that theory to hell.

Unfortunately those young ladies were bruised & the policy was not up held. But that should have stayed the focus of this case, instead spouting opinions about corporal punishments and domestic violence.

Male assistant principal shouldn't have spanked the female students because of school policy and the female students wouldn't have been bruised. Nothing more needed! But that my opinion, what's yours?

So Your Child Has a Tattoo...

Okay a news report came out about a parent getting arrested in North Texas because their child had received a tattoo. The tattoo artist was arrested also. The tattoo the children received was not her first tattoo, it's her third.

I say they should be arrested. I don't understand it is unlawful for anyone under 18 to get a tattoo. Yet it is very visible that law is not being upheld. The rise of tattoos in high school seems unreal. I remember when I was in high school and Seniors who got a tattoo for their birthdays would hide theirs from school officials and many cases parents. I didn't know anyone under 18 with a tattoo. If they did I bet their parents didn't know. Now tattoos are as fashionable as jewelry on young people. Many parents are going with the children to get the tattoos. This is why many in this generation are not excited to grow up. They are already Too Grown!!! What's left to look forward to when you've done it already. *sigh*

If parents are arrested for giving their children under 21 alcohol, a parent should be arrest for allowing their child to have a tattoo. The law is the law.

My 9-11 Remembrance (Blame Country Thug for this Blog)

Like many Americans, September 11, 2001, is a very somber day to remember. I remember where I was when the WTC went down. I was at Lamar University in Beaumont, Tx, still a nursing major, staying in the dorms called Units. I didn't have class until 2:30 pm (Finger Spelling) so I was watching Little House on the Prairie, wondering about what to wear that day. Then my show was cut off. I don't know how long it took me to figure out what I was watching but I know I saw the 2nd tower go down as it was happening. I was in shock. I couldn't figure out if it was an accident or what.  Then I sat and listen and found out the plane had been hijacked. Then the tears flowed. I had to turn off the TV and turn a CD on, Probably the WOW Gospel 2000 CD 2 because I had that in heavy rotation back then and prayed. I finally got dressed to meet my friends for lunch.

Then the unthinkable happened on my way to class. These guys, one of them liked to call himself, Country Thug (*sigh* Yes, I'm serious) were ticked off because they heard from their friends at Stephen F. Austin & Prairie View Universities that they were canceling classes and that Lamar needed to follow suit. I was appalled. Planes of people had lost their lives and they were upset because their lazy tails didn't want to go to class. Trust me, they were not concerned about the safety of the school. The Library at the time was the tallest building on campus and it was just 6 floors. They were concern about kicking it for the rest of the day.  I had to remove myself from the scene. I was already known as a stuck-up chick from Dallas (later I found out my formal name slur was Dyme Piece) & now they were about to see that side reserved for real special idiots And well, that day was not the appropriate day. It needed to be peaceful. So, I let them look like petty fools. My annoyance grew for them when I got home after 6 and I found out about the planes crashing in Pennsylvania & the Pentagon. Intellectual Diva, one of my best friends lived in Washington D.C. I worried until I saw a map on the news. But still, there were more lives lost, and these guys, that I probably called jackals, were worried about...

A few times when I am in the airport, while being check thoroughly for WMD's, I think about Country Thug and his pals (Oh my first name is of Sanskrit origin so I get "randomly" checked 3:5 times. being black helps sometimes). I hope by now they see how petty their concerns were compared to the lives and resources that cost this country. I hope they realize how Thankful they should have been that day that it was not them. I hope they realize how Thankful they should've been that the only concern of theirs was that school didn't close. So here's to all the "Country Thugs" out there. Hope you have a different outlook on September 11, 2001.

Remember 9-11

Never Shall Forget

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Looking for OutSpoken_Diva through an Angled Lens

I had a dream last night that my Life was a Reality show. Yeah, my life as a reality show. Every time it switched scenes it would be a camera lens turning. I guess to represent the movement to another angle of my life. Most of the show was my life this summer up to this past weekend. For some weird reason I still live my life similar to my undergrad days. 90% work to 10% social in the spring, fall, & winter but 50% work to 50% social in the summer. Especially my birthday I party hard (my version of hard) in the summer. Brunch with the besties. Friendly outings with the church pals. Small concerts to let's try this Restaurant for dinner. It all is punch up a notch in the summer and slows up some by mid September. Guess my show would be a Boring Adult version of Jersey Shore.  But my dream was just a manifestation of a comical angle that many view me as. "Being the Good Girl" they think they see.

I am a Staunch believer in the quote "What others think of me is Not My Business".  I don’t care what people think as long as it’s not a lie that I can’t or refuse to make true. *smile* People don’t have a heaven or hell to put me in. So why care about thoughts. Words and deed matter to me.

If you meet me outside the Internet you going to view me as a "Quiet Good Girl" or a "Stuck up B-Word" when first meeting me most times. Very few times do people view as a "Cool" or "Wild" chick at first. It is because I sit and meet people with a greeting and nothing much else. I like to watch people before I truly interact with strangers. I like to see how you would treat someone else so I know what I maybe looking forward to with you. I accept both views because I am Both Views and So Much More.  Most people afterwards move away from those views after really meeting me. Few still think of me as the chick they first met. If they still see me as a "Stuck up B-Word" is because our personalities & lives have not & will not ever see eye to eye. More than likely I said something they didn't agree with and well... I am still a "Stuck up B-word". Again Not My Business!!!

The funny people are the ones who still think of me as "The Good Girl". I can do all kind of stuff around them and their view of me will not change.  My grandmother's friends have seen & heard me have an argument that includes language that is very vulgar with someone and those little old ladies still think I am one of the Best Citizens in the world. Most of one of my best friend's families (except one of her aunts and as of this past weekend, her mother) think as long as I'm around every thing is in order. Nothing "wrong" is happening. Case in point a few years ago we went out one Saturday and didn't get to her place until late. While we were dressing for church, her grandmother found out that I was with her and said "Oh that was probably a very nice place" even though right before she knew I went she was about to fuss like grandmothers do (Well at least ours). They never understand when we say 4 out of 5 the things we do & places we go be it sacred or secular, I was the planner or at least invited her. Rarely is it her idea. Even sometimes when it was her idea, it was just an idea, then I made the idea an action. Reasons why my mother doesn't think the way her family does about my or my sister's friends. She says (In love because people love/like my mom) all the time "If you hang with my heathen children, you are the same heathen. Why? You Chose to hang with my heathen child".

I guess I rather them think no matter what I do I am still a good girl. It's better than the people who thought I was a good girl see me outside that angled lens and feel betrayed, like I was hiding the "real" me. Yeah, I have those also. They bother me because I have to actually tell Adults "You should not have boxed me into the frame you Thought I would fit". I should not have to. It’s Not My Business!!! I think some of those people think I'm a "Stuck up B-word" also. Oh well. LoL Who said it? Yep, Not. My. Business!

Maybe "Not My Business!!!" will be the title of my reality show. It's Catchy!

The next time someone says “Tell me about yourself” I might tempt fate and ask "Which Lens do you want to look through"? and wait for their response. I really won't care because I believe "What others think of me is Not My Business",  but it would be fun to do. LoL

A Cute Comfortable Fashion Blog

"You Must Suffer for Fashion" "Fashion is Pain" Why do people believe those things? People especially us Ladies, are literally putting our bodies in pain to wear the hottest shoes & clothes. Stilettos are stabbing the foot in heel and pinching the toes causing bunions. There are a brand of shape wear out that are worn so tight it literally shifts internal organs out of place. Garments that pinch the skin so hard that the blood vessels & capillaries burst.
Why?

I don't believe in wearing anything that causes pain. I can't do pain for my fashion. I dress as cute as my comfort level will allow. Jimmy Choo & Christian Louboutin are cute to look at but you can't put enough Dr. Scholls gel pads in to make them not hurt. And at those prices, they should come with built in relief. Now that I blogging Dr. Scholl should make a comfortable yet stylish shoe.

I'm not saying we should wear lounge wear 24/7. Nor should you let gut hang, stretch, or poke through.  I just don't think hurting the body to be fashionable is not smart. I refuse to Layer girdles on top of each other to even smoother in an outfit. One is enough. Plus I like for my blood to circulate. I will not to wear a shoe so high my blood pressure goes up. I won't wear panties that get caught in crevices, nooks & crannies and bacteria sets up.Yes, I wear flesh tone sandal-foot stockings with open toe shoes. My feet sweat and I don't do blisters. (I said sandal-foot & not reinforced toe There is a difference Learn it.) If my feet are tired but I'm going out, they are going into a lower wedge. If I'm grocery shopping I'm wearing classic fit jeans, not jeggings or skinny ones with cotton briefs.

Relax the body sometimes. Let's look Good but Healthy also.  Maybe Dr. Scholl should get in the High Heel game. I wonder if they tried and it was not up to their comfort standards. Umm interesting?

Okay Blame KimYe for This Blog

Okay so the topic question "Does Your SO Have a Say in Your Wardrobe" has been running around in Pop News lately. All because Kanye West went through his girlfriend's Kim Kardashian closest and got rid of what he didn't approve of and it was shown on the E! reality show. I even asked some of my friends the question. It was not shocking that 3/5 of my friends said No. I wasn't even shocked at the 2 who said yes.
I say No also. Opinions & Suggestions and fine But unless the outfit is Inappropriate for the occasion my SO doesn't get a say.

What shocks some was the fact that I said "It actually grates my nerves to have to dress an Adult, all the time". It really does. It was hard but I had to learn to gauge if I'm going to have to dress a guy early in a dating rapport. It the answer seems like YES, I need dude to lose my number (Don't actually say that. People told me to say that is rude. Whatever). It's not limited to just guys I date. Any Adult!!! I just don't understand telling an Adult man that his "Good Black Jeans" are not appropriate Wedding Wear. If he has jeans he should own khakis or dark colored slacks. One shouldn't have to tell an Adult woman Not to show cleavage in the workplace. That's what camisoles and tank tops are for. It is sad that many social club have to have a dress code. But when I look in the crowd in this "Shirts with Collars only for men" club and it is a sea of polos I want to scream. No one owns a nice casual oxford (buttoN up) shirt in this joint. It's just as sad that you have to tell Ladies not wear a mini skirt to the Family dinner. Honey put on your toe toucher, Gramps don't want to see your tail.

So yes it is nerve wrecking to me to have to tell people how to dress. And I refuse to do it. Maybe I am the extreme opposite of Kanye. He has to control the wardrobe. I am trying to say a little as possible.

Are You Shocked I'm Doing an Olympic Blog? Really???

Take away the tears, all the medals and world records made and to me the 30th Olympics the Messiest Olympics ever. Gosh I have never seen so many reports about controversy in my life. After the 1st week I just stop talking about things on my Facebook page that were controversial.

Gabby Douglas's hair was one. Hey yeah, I snickered at home, (I snickered at Phelps wing flap & Farrah hitting his head to celebrate, also) but to go on Twitter and such and complain about her hair like her hairstyle was tallied in the points for her Gold medal was silly. Especially the black women going in. Sweethearts some of you won't work out because of your hair. This slim trim young lady got the Gold while you became more out of shape sitting at home watching her get it.

SideNote: I didn't think the monkey doing gymnastics was a racist nod to Gabby. 1) The monkey is male and not on the same apparatus as Gabby. 2) NBC played the same commercial many time before Gabby got the Gold. Sometimes The Race Sensitive need to think. Some of you guys didn't mind it either until the Story Broke. STHU & Use your heads

Poor Usain Bolt!!! Not a major fan (I'm a Walter Dix & Yohan Blake Fan) but give the guy a break. Bottle gets thrown in his direction. Carl Lewis opened his yap. So he responded. Had Lewis not made a comment about Drug Testing in Jamaica, we would not ever know that Bolt lose all respect for the Former Olympian & Record Holder. Now the IOC says to "Expect more drug testing for Jamaica. All because he's The Fastest Man in the World now.

Folks could not focus on Phelps becoming the Most Decorated Olympian for pointing out that he didn't win every race or the infamous picture with the Marijuana Bong. Let his past be his past. And Most Decorated includes all the Bronzes and the Silvers, not just the Golds. I want some of these opinionated reporters to stop stirring the pot. The Cooking Pot not the Illegal Drugs.

Speaking of Illegal Drugs. Everybody that were banned from the Games, Athletes and Fans, deserved to be Banned. Oh there were The Racist Tweets, The sprinter, who didn't make roll call, the drunken woman athlete, the fans that made monkey noises at the Nigerian Basketball Players, the American test Positive for Marijuana (what were you doing eating baked goods while in training) and any other actions that got someone thrown out of the Olympics. People really showed their behinds these games. Next Olympics games there should be Behavior seminars for Athletes and Behavior pamphlets with all the tickets for the fans. Sad to do this to Adults but its need

I will say I did enjoy the games so far (one moiré day) despite controversy. I cried during the Opening Ceremony's. I cried when Mo Farrah and Galen Rupp beat the Bekele brothers in the 10,000m. I felt proud to see Gabrielle Douglas get Gold. I was proud to Phelps wave a golden goodbye on a Great career. South Africa's Oscar Pistorious & Caster Semena are always Great inspiration. My voice should be gone for yelling at all the USA racers, the swimmers but especially the Track & Field. But that come from being in "Track & Field Nerd" Daughters Mode.

But next Olympics can we do away with the E! News, Perez Hilton style of reporting the controversies. It has to stop. Alright more Gold to Win.

A Blog about My Addiction

Now that you ran over here (To get some hot gossip on me , I bet (Shame on You) or Because I sent you over here), Listen up!!!
My name is ________OUTSPOKEN_DIVA_______ and I am addicted to Black Web Series & Vlogs. I'm jonesing right now because my YouTube App on my phone has been acting up for the passed 35 hours and I have to watch stuff on my slow PC. If you are an FBF you already knew this to some point. My "little brother" B.J. is gonna cuss me out if I suggest one more Web Series or Vlog. I got it BAD Just checked my phone, ERROR!

I read an article last year wondering why "black sitcoms/dramas" aren't on TV but Online (which I agree with, The ONLY "black" show (scripted or reality) on TV I'm watching this summer is Single Ladies (women friends with more money than me with men issues I so can relate)). So I went to YouTube, FaceBook and Twitter to look for some of the titles and ran smack dab into my truth. Let me see I found shows or vlogs that deal topics like "Single with a crush but date others", "Secret love of ghetto songs that you still pick apart the lyrics but you still dance to" "Weirded out by co-workers (in my case former (a self-employment benefit)) because of attitudes and culture", "Nerdy & Full of Love of "the '80 or '90's", "Single & Dating", "Like dating Men but the ones you like still got issues and you start to think it could be you" "Awkward Phone Calls" and "College study Groups". Part of my Truth. All I need to do is find a good Christan show and my life will be cover by the Web Series. Okay here my list of my favorites. If it's Green, that's the link.

10. Fail - I avoided study groups in College because I once had an experience like of these. Not telling!!! Mine wasn't so funny. I fail on my own not because of others. 8D Episode 1 (The theme song is Great)

9. Venus Vs. Mars - It's British but this American can relate. What happens after your boyfriend breaks up with you, you try to date while your family and friends are in relationships? Pilot Episode

8. Black and Single TV - They are perfect for each other. Will they ever meet? Episode 1

7. She Got Problems - Little sister of a real-life famous actress that wants to do a musical about her dating life. She had me at "Black Guys are a few of My Favorite Things". Anthony Mackie is on my Top Ten 10 list too. She Got Problems by Allison McDonald

6. Black Nerd Comedy - I swear he acts like my cousin, D.D. D.D. is the cousin I was mostly around growing and one of the ones I'm kind of similar to (Trust me the other cousins know. They won't be offended). This Vlog is filled with Top List, Rants Raves & Reviews about video games, movies, TV Shows, etc. Lot of current stuff and a lot of stuff from the 80's & 90's. Check this episode out You also have to check out his Rant of Charles Barkley. Barkley asked for it, IMO.

5. HangUp!!! - Ever had a phone call go WRONG First Time You Should Hang Up!

4 . Corporate Brother - Ever been the only "Black Person" at work or in class. And the non-blacks want to "talk" to you about you being just that. Best episode "The Black History Month Program" Episode 2. But first Episode 1

3. Unwritten Rules - Female version of Corporate Brother. Some of her co-workers are rude also. Based on a Book Yes, (I plan to read) The Hair Episode I swear it's straight from the book of my life.  Episode 1

Okay the Top Two are Both written by the same person  Issa Rae. She has another show "Fly Guys" Kinda cute. Just not for me but check it out, It might be yours.

2. RatchetPiece Theatre - Rae's Vlog were she analyzes some of her favorite Songs, that We All Know the lyrics are Vile, Vulgar, Degrading, Morally Wrong, Ghetto,etc but that Beat makes us bounce our butts to it anyway Oh and she's classy about it too. Need a definition of Ratchet? Episode one, she provides the perfect one. Episode 1

1. Awkward Black Girl (ABG to my possibly annoyed FBF) - You know you are on to something when Pharrell Williams put your Season 2 on his IamOther channel on YouTube. When the main character J. asked if she was only person that acts like she in the video when singing in the car, while singing a new ratchet favorite of mine "Booty Shawts", I was HOOKED. She had me at the first sentence, first scene, & first song of Episode 1 of Season 1. Issa Rae says she was just wanted the "black" Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. She made comedy genius to me. She's awkward at Dating. She's awkward at Work. She has awkward Co-workers (i.e. Germy Patty, "A", Sister Mary, Baby Voice, Darius are Some). She has an awkward BFF. She is Awkward and Black and I love it. (Maybe because I'm a true ABG, also) The show even has character shorts between seasons. Season 1 Episode 1   Season 2 Episode 1

Okay so now you see why I Don't Watch the various Wives, Ex Wives, Love and whatever and all the rest. I'm watching This Stuff. I relate to Web Shows better.

Now these are the one's I like. I am want you to go a look up "Black Web Series" no look up "Web Series"(my next venture, blame the article) and find what you'll. There many out there. Issa Rae and Black Nerd rave about a "reality show" called "K-Town" (Asian version of Jersey Show). Issa Rae also has the "Fly Guys" and soon out "I Hate LA Dudes". I know the makers of "HangUp" also, have "The Couple" & "The Number". On the Iamother channel there's A man on the street show called "StereoTypes" My friends rave about a series about blacks lesbians called "Between Women". There is even a "reality show" about black male strippers suppose to be out. It looked interesting enough. Oh and there are Vlogs Galore. Are you already watching some? What are you watching?

There is Something for everybody. Where TV can let you Web Series can boost you back up. Oh yeah I check my phone still an error message!!! LoL, I'm so Addicted!!!

An Apology!!!

If you want to call this blog “Fifty Shades of an Apology”, Knock yourself out. Yeah, I’ve talked crap about the book but ended up reading it. BIG WHOOP!  Just know that only some that are into the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy get an apology, not all of you.

If you think/thought this book was good because it is/was so romantic and you swoon for Grey, You will get No Apology. I won’t call you Lonely.  I’m southern I’ll say “Bless Your Heart”. The "Love a Person Through it" part was not lost on me, but I told you I like my men as Whole as possible, even the fictional ones. Pick up  “What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day" or “Some Things I Never Thought I’d Do"  both by Pearl Cleage. Eddie and Blue will make you swoon.  If you thought it was good because it’s really kinky and freaky, You will get No Apology. I'll bet Dollars to Donuts you are waiting for HBO’s “Real Sex” to be a box set so you can have it for your library. The Sex scenes were scan-able after the first two for ME. Plus I’m not into the S&M lifestyle. Hit me, tie/lock me up, or gag me and that is a Fight and I’m calling the police. To Jail, you Go!!!

Now if you like this book for the Drama, Revenge, Crazy People, and the Who Done It, I APOLOGIZE to You.  This is a Good Book (still reading, trying to be done by Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics (may not make it)). Thank my friend R.B. (Close friend, About 65% similar tastes on the popular/trendy stuff) for urging me to read it. Now I thought Book 1 (took me a while to push through it,) ended wonderfully. I didn’t understand why there needed to be a Book 2 or 3. Then Book 2 made me understand what many saw in this Trilogy. Book 3 is cute also. I already know how this end (yes R.B. I cheated) because I read the last chapter after a Chapter 9 was not going my way (Yes I spoil myself not others). But I went back to Chapter 10 and I’m still reading. I’m going to see it through. I’ll even light a fire under one of my male best friends (Mr. White not Lorenzo for the nosey) & my “little brother” B.J. to catch up. It’s that Book 1 hump you have to get over.

So again I APOLOGIZE to those who Liked the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy for the Action. Note I’m still waiting for “Magic Mike” to come to cables, not Pay-Per-View cables, like Premium Cable channels or even Basic Cable channels.

Will Penn State Football Ever Recover?

Frankly I don't care if the university's football program ever get back after these disciplinary sanctions have been handed down by the NCAA. How about will the victims ever recover. Has anyone thought about the student athletes getting their scholarships taken? I'll bet dollars to donut, the answer is NO!  They are Real victims of these sanctions. How are they going to pay for college? Are they going to have to drop out of school?

Fact: Sports bring lots of $$$ to schools. So because of that fact much society has been programmed to put major emphasis one part of a school. If this incident happened in the Geology department after the trial/before the trial in some cases, we would have gone on with our lives. Focus might has been given to the victims instead of the people who didn't do there jobs and tell the authorities i.e. Coach Paterno.

Did you know when Joe Paterno was fired one of Sandusky's victims were bullied and told he was the reason Paterno was ousted? When you hear that does that break your heart? Now think about how he and his fellow victims of Sandusky and their families feel when they see focus put on "W's" being taken away. YES, money will given to programs to help educate about Abuse. But that is a Band-Aid place over a crater of a wound that will possibly take lots of time to heal.

I swear the Priorities in this are screwed. Maybe during the ATHLETIC punishment time for Penn State maybe they can focus on being a Premiere ACADEMIC facility. It is an University, right?

Okay The Skin Tone Blog

If you want to know some of the most over argued topics I've ever heard, Skin Color within the Black Race is somewhere on my top 20 (natural/relaxed hair & working/stay-at-home moms are tied for #1) list. Boy, Massa did a number on us on the Ol' Plantation. It is 2012 and it is still can be a heated topic. It is unnerving for news or talk shows to have this topic on their schedule. But like a bad train wreck I watch them anyway. Maybe it the “Kum Bah Yah” in me to see if there is a different outcome

I'm not one who is color struck. I kind of wince at people teasing others about their skin tone. I don't believe "Two "light skins" can't be friends". I don't have mostly "dark skinned" friends so I'll be the cute "light skinned" friend. The first time I heard I was "light-skinned" was kindergarten on the black top and a "dark skinned" girl was rubbing my arm saying "Ooh you so light". I snatched my arm back. I thought it was weird that she was rubbing on me. Umm, can we say creepy? When I did, I hurt feeling and she then said "She think she's better than caused she light". I had no clue what she was talking about. As I got older I wondered where did she get that from. One day it clicked, like racism, it was taught to her at an early age. I feel sorry for people who grew up with Skin Tone issues.
I didn't always grow up in a family that talked about skin tones like that. It's was latere I've learned which older relatives have/had skin color issues. I don't know why because if you stretch just my mother's side of my family without in-laws and we look like a Gorgeous African-American Rainbow.

I try not to even jokingly tease people about their skin color. An ex-boyfriend turned best friend (who happens to be "dark skinned") learned the hard way. He called me a "house n-word" as a joke. I didn't take it as a joke and called him a "field n-word" as mean as I could. He learned then how I felt about those kinds of insults. I Don't like anyone being teased about their skin tone. It's Gross!!!

And before you say OutSpoken you're "light skinned" you don't understand how hard it is to "Dark Skinned" This is all easy for you to say. Well hurt "dark-skinned" people how many people “lighter” than you have you took your hurt feelings out on. Yeah, you guys have hurt other people in the name of skin tone also. I know because I was tease because others teased somebody else "dark skinned". Not going to call names. Not even tell y'all how I know this particular lady (girl back then) because she's kind of a popular person in some circles in my area of the country. But because she had to hear she was "Cute for a Dark Girl" or "That Black girl can... (almost slipped) she made it a point to refer to the color of my stockings (cafe au lait or nude) or me turning red or getting darker on the sun any chance she got. And other things that I will not talk about. Kinda screwed up and still hurtful to harp on. I never teased her about her skin color back (I didn't know how) (trust me I got her back one day and I went out with a BANG and she never bullied me again ). When my niece was born people was standing around raving and she said "But she so bright". By then I knew HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE. That's her cross to bear. Again I feel sorry for people who grew up with Skin Tone issues. But the "dark skinned" don't have the monopoly of being teased because skin tones. It's just more visible.

It's an issue I wish would die. There can't be a funeral quick enough for it. Trust me I will not mourn for it either. I'll wear my Fuchsia Suit with the gold buttons and my Gold Pumps and Holy Ghost dance on that day because I will be to glad to put it to rest. Might as well be fierce on that Happy Day.

P.S. Yes I used” ____-Skinned” to make a point.

Dating with Skin Tone Issues

The other night my close friend T.T. posted a fun question on Facebook, "What do you prefer your mate to be? Sweet suckable chocolate, smooth tasty caramel or creamy luscious vanilla? Taking about skin tone". My answer is/was "As long I can see the brown in their skin. No Extremes (light or dark) for me. Just my preference. My favorite Nice Creamy Peanut Butter. 8D I'm going to date one (of my favorite) One Day. Just One! That all! Won't know where I start and where he ends. 8D Then I'll marry the Mr. Chocolate that I attract. 8D ". The topic jarred this blog.

YES I have a dating preference and a favorite within my preference. Most of us who are honest do. Nothing wrong with that. What I think is Wrong for me to date, A Man with Skin Tone Issues. Oh I'm not talking about fair skin guys who Hate dating dark skin ladies or Dark skin men that think Fair skin women are ugly. Trust Me, I Don't Like that either and a BLOG about that is next. I'm talking about "Same Skin Tone" Hatred. For example a dark skin man that Hates dark skin women. Another example a fair skin guy dating a dark skin lady because she's a "Real Sister". Preference is one thing. Hatred and being Hurtful is another.

Why I won't date a man that thinks that way? 1) He has some hurting issues from the past that need to be healed. (Probably was teased earlier in life) And I don't date severe fragments of men. That issue is on the list. I will pray for you while you work through it but I will not date you. 2) I am not a JIF (the best peanut butter, in my opinion) colored trophy. Just like Some Black men who only date outside their race think they have some won a prize. Men who date their "winning" skin color feel they have Arrived, also. Just because Mr. Peanut Butter is my favorite to look at but I'm not hurtful to all the other flavors. Mr. Hershey Dark and Mr. White Chocolate can be just as tasty. For me to be nasty towards them, just makes the whole flavor profile distasteful. In non-food terms, It makes the race look bad. Just another example of lack of unity within us, African Americans. Check out the next BLOG.

Mr. Peanut Butter, if you are out there, I Will Not Date you or your pal Chocolate, best friend Vanilla, or cousin Caramel have if you Hatred within you. I will say this again, Preference is one thing. Hatred and being Hurtful is another.

P.S. No Food was eaten during the writing of this blog. *smiling* I'm not even hungry!!! Blame T.T. *giggling*

Why the name OUTSPOKEN_DIVA?

 I get asked that all the time.

Well Big Mouth B-word is what a past person in my life called me. LoL Who embraces insults? ME!!!

OUTSPOKEN_DIVA was originally my poetry pen. One day I'll share some it on here.
The story of the attitude behind the name is not as harsh. I've never had the chance to meet a stranger but I don't keep many friends. I have the ability to sit places and people sit beside me and yammer like I give a care.

It's started as a child in church when my mom would sit me beside "my peers" to socialize (not to social then) and they went on & on about stuff they wanted, who they didn't like, etc. I guess I look trusting to people. But it honed my opinion skills. Not something I like and by middle school I realized what to do with all this random craziness people say to me.
SPEAK ABOUT IT.
Well, OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's personality was born then.

70% of the time if I know about something, anything, I have an opinion. The other 30% I'm preparing one. Now do I voice it all times NOOOO just sometimes. *blushing* And never ask me for my opinion because you will get it.
THAT'S JUST ME!!!

You have NO Excuse

June is HIV/AIDS Testing Month. June 27th is Testing Day. Get Tested!!! Know Your Status!!! Walking around not knowing does not make you not have it. You're just ignorant with HIV/AIDS. No Excuses. Go to http://www.hivtest.org to find a testing site near you. On June 27-29 in 20 cities select Walgreens will doing testing also.

Sometimes when I post about HIV/AIDS or STD awareness it takes me back to a funny day during my undergrad years. My friends and I went into the semester health fair basically to pick up a pamphlet of two for an assignment or extra credit for a class. There were 4 others with me when we entered to the ballroom. A thin woman with a booming voice said

"Hey Ladies Come over here so I can hook y'all up"

The room got quiet from all the hustle and bustle of activity. It seem like everyone was looking at us My friends and I looked at each other. We look all around us. It was just us there.


"You by the door. I'm talking to y'all"

We walked over to the table. She was with the local HIV/AIDS clinic. She loaded us up with a zip lock bag each filled with various condoms, dental dams, and lubricants. Never knew a little baggie could hold so much.
"Now you have no excuse. And you make sure the Sucka put it on and put it on right"

I had never seen anyone so matter of fact & in your face about sexual protection. But somebody need to be. Her words have echo in my head (not because she was so loud) ever since. "Now You Have No Excuse" As much stuff is out to protect ourselves, why is HIV/AIDS and other STD still on the rise. We need to safeguard our bodies much better. Too many people that eat right, wash with anti-material soap, & wear gloves while they cook but catch a disease transmitted sexually every day.

Okay let me get off the soap box. Protect Yourself. Respect Yourself. Get Tested.

Birthday Confession

I have to admit behind the smiles and fun this was the hardest birthday to get through at times. Around April I realized my birthday was on the weekend. Then it hit me what weekend is was. I got sad. Father's Day & my Birthday with without my grandfather. But I shook it off. He's been gone 8 years. I've gone through my birthday & Father's Day without him before. Last time my birthday was on a Saturday it rain and I slept through it. Not gonna do that this year. I'm good. Made plans for Friday & Saturday nights with my friend who has a birthday a few days before mine. I was great until a cousin called with birthday wishes and said "Oh I remember your birthday was around Father Day" The feelings I pushed aside in April came down so hard. I got off the phone and went in my room and had to cry it out until I took a nap. Woke up and decided to own the grief and breathed through it until now so I can type this blog.

If you have not figured out by now. I am an Unshamed Nerd that can be very corny sometimes. A person who celebrated me being a corny nerd was my grandfather. One way he celebrated my personality was when my birthday fell on the weekend he would give me a Father's Day Card and I gave him a Birthday Card. Always the humorous kind. It was our special joke. Only one we could shared. My preteen & some of my teen years I celebrated my birthday out of town because I was attending a yearly Sunday School & Baptist Training Union Congress. Every Year a different city. Even one year at Midnight the church memebers belted out Happy Birthday while traveling from Los Angeles back Home on a dark road. It was so sweet!!! That year my birthday was on a Sunday and waiting for me was a Father's Day card and I brought my grandfather a Birthday card all the way back from California. The year I was away for Summer School during my Undergrad years. I mail him a birthday card and he mailed me a Father's Day card. Yep Nerdy & Corny. But Ours to Share.

I missed giving him a card this year. I missed recieving a card from him this year. Though tears had to fall I can smile knowing I shared that with him. Somebody out there does not have that. I think we should all find special memories of our loved ones and if the tears come let them fall Then wrap up in the smiles & special feelings they give because you know that they happened. Tears will dry but Smiles & Special Feeling Last Forever. Now I KNOW I'm Good. *smiling*

Newest "Threat" to Marriage

I am not talking about Gay Marriage. You should know my feelings by now. But since I have your attention let me speak about "Marrying Yourself" the "newest threat" to the institution of marriage. LMAO

I was watching Anderson one afternoon and he talk to two ladies who married themselves. Marrying Yourself is a declaration of being whole within yourself and taking away from society's placement of guilt on one being single and not married after the age of 30, 40, 50, etc. The ladies then added to their declaration a ceremony & reception. Both Ladies had different reasons for marrying themselves. It's a bit much for me but the reasoning I agree. Well, Anderson had in the audience a man from the "Marriage Project" and he felt like "Marrying Yourself" is a threat to the institution of marriage. I wish I was there so he could have seen me roll my eyes at His absurd self.

It is too many broken people marrying other fragmented people all because they just have to be married. People stay in physically & Mentally abusive relationships because they are married. People cheat on their spouses front, back and all sides possibly bringing home STDs, HIV, & AIDS but hey they are married.

How dare he say "Marrying Yourself" is a threat. Just another way to throw society's guilt on those who choose to be whole by themself and feel someone else completes them. I would so rather they have the fancy party celebrating their self-love than for them to be in the real threat to marriage "Broken Marriage"
Well to those working yourself to be or remain whole before marriage or those who decided to be whole by themselves, GUILTFREE continues to be a "threat".

Really, Ladies!!!

"I'm that Cute Bitch, tonight"
"Oh Hoe, You know I'll watch your kids"
"Ooh I don't hang with Females, they are messy"
"I got you a Cosmo, Slut"

Ladies, Tear each other down much?
When did the B-word or Slut become a term of endearment?
I thought a Hoe was a prostitute?
Fighting Words???

I know I am a tad Boughetto But I can not stand women referring to one another in such derogatory ways. It is so gross.
I am not B-word and my friends are not Hoes. We are Adult Women. We don't try to sleep with each other's bf, gf, or spouse. We are not jealous or envious of what someone has. We go out with our friends.
Recently I had to correct my high school aged niece on referring to some not likable girls as "them females". Not in my presence she won't. So now I see this language is spreading to our young. This has to stop.

How we expect men to not call us that crap when we walk around spouting like it's a proud title to be.
And I know some women are messy, nasty, skanky, & that will sleep with anybody's somebody. I know some men are messy also. Instead deleting a whole gender out of your Life, find men & women that are like you. If you are attracting messy people hmmm maybe...
I remember in college I first heard a lady say, "I don't have female friends cause Girls are messy" I was floored. I finally said "Hun, you are female are you messy? Find you some mess free girlfriends"

This madness has to stop. It's immature and drag the gender backwards. Before you let those rachet words depart your lips ask yourself would I want someone referring to me as... If your answer is not No.... Well... *sigh* Bless Your Heart
　

Grey's Anatomy Craziness

WTF
Is Grey's Anatomy Crazy??? Yes, I knew someone was dying. I Don't care for Arizona. I was Banking on her.
BUT!!!
They killed Lexipedia!!! YES, Lexie Grey is DEAD. Mark Sloan is dying. All the living victims not found & fading. Teddy is fired. Jackson Avery, my Eye Candy is going to Tulane. WTH WTH WTH

I won't call the person who wrote that script a Sadist but the devil was in the writing. My feelings are Crushed!!!
Can't even be Happy that Miranda Bailey is getting married.

STOP PLAYING WITH MY EMOTIONS GREY'S ANATOMY!!!
Next Season You better Get It Together!!!

Abstinence & Celibacy Choices, Are they so Wrong for Adults?

Seemly the website Ashley Madison (a website where adults who wanna cheat meet other adults who wanna cheat) is willing to pay any woman who can prove they slept with Tim Tebow (the devout Christian football player who is also a virgin waiting to have sex when he's married (OK whatever)) big dollars. Why? Because they don't believe he will be able to be sex-free in New York. What nerve of Ashley Madison to put a bounty on the man's virginity? Yeah you ask well what do you expect from an adultery website. But they aren't they only people with that view.

Even though doing right is the law of the land. Saving yourself for marriage seems to not to be part of that law. 40 year-old Virgin made it seem like the guy was goofy because he hadn't "got some". If a woman goes celibate for too long people feel like she gonna close up. Oh I've heard people praise folk for saving themselves one day then act like they're a pathetic loser that missing out the next day. It's confusing & hypocritical. I could see if they wanted have sex and couldn't give it away. Then maybe you can pity them. But someone who chose this lifestyle should at least be respected. Praise them only if you mean it and may want to try it yourself. You should never pity them for their choices in life. A choice that is not wrong.
Oh the quotes use are silly too. "If God Wanted You to Wait, He Should Not Have Made it Feel so Good". I understand when that quote was said by someone wanting to have sex with a virgin or a celibate person. They are trying to "feel good" with them. I don't understand the quote said by someone not trying to have sex with them is crazy. Again people are acting as if this choice is the end of the world.

Amazing how most Adults think it's GREAT if young people wait. Why can't it be just as GREAT if adults wait? One less person possibly with AIDS, with STD's, cheating, prostituting,etc. Either way it's an Adult Choice. RESPECT THE CHOICE!!!

MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY

Easter is my favorite holiday. Most people like Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. Easter is the holiday I love.

As a kid, it meant getting Two pretty dresses (I am still a fan of pastel colors), new shoes & a different hairstyle to be in front of the congregation to say my Easter speech.

I only went to one Easter egg hunt in my life and it was Not as fun as having Breakfast with Easter Bunny at Joske's (now Dillard's)(anyone remembers Joske's, LoL) for 7 years straight. It was just a busy time event for my mom to take my older sister and me to so she could get our outfits out of layaway when the store opened. It was a basic breakfast buffet, a kiddie activity and pictures with Easter Bunny but, in my, Under 9-year-old mind, it was so much fun. Getting tickled at the simple things that excited me back then. And it was a candy eating time for my cousin and me. We didn't get a lot of chance to eat candy at home, Just holidays. Dying eggs was fun also.

Oh yes, I have wonderful memories of Easter. But they pale in comparison to the Real Reason for the day. JESUS was born and wrapped in Rags, Just to Die but Get Back Up for the Salvation of Us, a bunch of Filthy Rags. We don't give gifts, have parades, or watch a bowl games. We just have a simple celebration about the Greatest Act of Kindness Anyone could do. It's so cliche' to say BUT Jesus didn't have to do any of it. Get arrested, be beaten, died, went to hell, preached a revival, set the captives free, and got back up with ALL power in his hands. Nobody but Jesus would do all of that for us. Anybody deserves a parade & gifts is him. All he wants is our hearts but deserves our ALL. I love him for all he did for me but Saving Me is the best thing he ever did. From Warm Childhood memories, before I knew to Thankful Reasons after I knew, Easter will Always be my Favorite Holiday.

Justice for Trayvon

So do I look Suspect, Zimmerman?
I have on a Hood.
Justice For Trayvon Martin!!!

March 10th

March 10 is Women & Girls HIV & AIDS Awareness Day. It's sad to me that there has to be any Awareness days ever but this one saddens me the most. Why? The stats that says women account for about 1 in 4 new HIV/AIDS cases in the United States. And of these newly infected women, about 2 in 3 are African-American. should make Everyone frown, Just like homosexual men stats in the 1980's. But what is worse are the discussions that come about and the discussions that should come about.

If I hear another gab fest about the stats are high because of the "Down-Low" men messing with the gays one more time I going to vomit. Yes, "Down-Low" men are some of the most vile humans on this earth. But in my opinion All Cheaters are vile. "Down-Low" men are "Cheating men that Cheat with men". And "Down-Low" men are not the only problem. I know & have known quite a few people with HIV & AIDS. 80% are women and 100% of those ladies got it from their heterosexual husbands & boyfriends that got it from another Woman they were involved with in the past or were cheating with presently. People like to play the blame game but instead of playing "Lets Face Facts". Men may catch HIV & AIDS from Unprotected Sex with Women, also. People Having Unprotected Sex May Catch HIV & AIDS.

If you are Having Sex and not in a Monogamous Relationship (if you or your partner are cheating that Is Not monogamous(don't know what monogamous is, stop having sex and get an education)) you need be using Protection. Protection means Condoms (Male or Female) and Dental Dams. Birth Control Pills, Sponges, IUD's & Spermicides do not protect you from Any STD's (or let's not forget those also), HIV & AIDS. Stop gambling with your health and protect yourself. Male and Female Humans are responsible for this. If you are with someone who doesn't believe in Protection Don't be with that person. Saying "No we can't without Protection" and getting up and leaving or telling them to leave is so Easy. You are Worth more than their beliefs. Let's Take Care of Our Selves so We can Take Care of One Another!

Making Pancakes

Someone sent me this email so I am sharing it with you guys.

Six year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor.

He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.

Brandon  was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting  very bad.

He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove and he didn't know how the stove worked!. Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor.

Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky.

And just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon 's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him.

Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process !

That's how God deals with us.. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend, or we can't stand our job, or our health goes sour.

Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do. That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him. 

But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes" for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...

I was thinking and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that need rekindling or three words needing to be said, sometimes, "I love you" can heal & bless! Remind every one of your friends that you love them. Even if you think they don't love back, you would be amazed at what  those three little words, a smile, and a reminder like this can do.

Just in case I haven't told you lately... I LOVE YA!!! Please pass some of this love on to others.... suppose one morning you were called to God; do all your friends know you love them? 

Sit With Him, It Will Get Better

It hurts my heart when I hear about homicides & suicides. It weeps when I hear when those
are the result of bullying. I'm not a flag waver when it comes to my victim days. Trust me
they will make you wince. I was/am not the best acting child, teen, adult ever. I do wrong, too, daily. But would have been easier not being bullied. But it contain lessons I needed.

In 5th grade I was physically more developed than many adults let alone children. I was subject of teasing, bullying, & tormenting of my peers, but even the spiteful conversation of my teachers. Oh I thought "Go to a Teacher" if you have a a problem was a load of crock growing up. I feel if I made a bully list a couple of math, a social studies teachers, & maybe an office worker would go on the list with some of my classmates. Okay let me move on because I'm getting upset. I'm doing well being FaceBook Friends with a few of my bullies (even the biggest one) but I have a feeling if I saw those adults Today, I don't know if I wouldn't have to pray hard not to react.

By middle school I was an overweight nerd with a bad attitude. The teasing didn't stop but My attitude changed. Instead of crying, I had a major chip on my shoulder. I was Smart & knew it. All my bullies weren't and I knew it. Oh let one try to copy off my work, I was not having it. Oh and I made sure teachers saw me not sharing answers and them trying to cheat.  My not sharing was my way of punching back because they would get caught and or fail their work. I know it was mean but explain that to a 12 year old being object of random boys smacking her butt or trying to grope her at her locker. Especially when there
were many girl who loved for them to do that them.

In high school weight teasing decreased some but, Religious teasing increased. In the most
unlikely of places, Church. I was one of kids that was called to do it all, the welcomes, youth announcement clerk, usher this, BTU activities that. If they needed somebody I was in the group to get called. It didn't help that I came from one of those "Families" that Other People think we think we are "all that", don't have
any problems, and always, Always looking for some scandal on. The family that other's had "expectations" for and when you didn't measure up their tongues wag. To my church peers, I was an L7. I Tried to fit in but after a while I cared less. I knew I loved the Lord & he loved me. Apparently it show no matter any kind of wrong I tried or do. Because trust me I would get asked by many people, strangers incl., if I was saved and why was I doing whatever I was doing.

Wait before I finish let me say this before those who are against the church start.Those are PEOPLE, not GOD. And where God is, God gets his glory. One just prays that real Worship & Praise take over at any place you go. So Satan and his minions don't disrupt. And I learned that at that church.

Well when I was 16, I wasn't getting the party because of summer school (failed Chemistry, never my subject)but I still got gifts. Among clothes, & music requests for Aaliyah, BlackStreet, 69 Boyz(didn't get that one). I wanted a Leather Bound Youth Bible(got that one). If you asked me, I told you. What was I supposed to be ashamed of? My school pals didn't tease me. A few wanted to see it actually & got one later. It was the church buddies that went in on me. NOT from the one's not being called on, the very folks being used in service such as myself. And some of the late 20's, Early 30's age group who had gotten word about it. Oh I heard all kinds of crap but "bible nerd" stand out the most. Oh I was fat there also. Now, I'm a Fat Bible Nerd!!! If I carried that Bible folks ask to see it and look at it like it was filled with profanity. In that I found out what some really thought of me. That incident was just one of many. Oh it was hard because sometimes at 16, 17, & 18 I kept forgetting you are not suppose to cuss people out in church. I learned the hard way I was there for God not man. I also had to learn that I was only there until college & I will free
to find somewhere else that I could be a "Bible nerd"(Yes, I did after college). Wish "Sitting Beside Me" by Mary Mary was out when I was a teen.

It is unfortunate Decent (not criminal, perverted, etc.) children, teens, & adults can't be who they are without taunting, teasing & abuse. It has to get better. It will get better. It does get better.We can preach that all day & night long but until we wrap our arms around somebody hurting just like we did it can't get better for someone else. Oh I said my Whole story will make one wince. How happy kids, teens & adults becomes bullied & broken should bother make anyone with a heart. It bothers me to see a big busted teen without proper under garments. It hurts to see Adults roll their eyes to see a child boldly read scripture or recite a poem on self-esteem. When you don't support them you're breaking theirs. See within my hurt feelings I am also not afraid to give public addresses because of mostly my church experience. I don't think shape wear & proper foundation is new because somebody introduced me to it early. Rather help & sit with a hurting one than that broken one hurt themselves & other. But Yeah It Has to Get Better!!! Sit with God!!!