I had a dream last night that my Life was a Reality show. Yeah, my life as a reality show. Every time it switched scenes it would be a camera lens turning. I guess to represent the movement to another angle of my life. Most of the show was my life this summer up to this past weekend. For some weird reason I still live my life similar to my undergrad days. 90% work to 10% social in the spring, fall, & winter but 50% work to 50% social in the summer. Especially my birthday I party hard (my version of hard) in the summer. Brunch with the besties. Friendly outings with the church pals. Small concerts to let's try this Restaurant for dinner. It all is punch up a notch in the summer and slows up some by mid September. Guess my show would be a Boring Adult version of Jersey Shore. But my dream was just a manifestation of a comical angle that many view me as. "Being the Good Girl" they think they see.
I am a Staunch believer in the quote "What others think of me is Not My Business". I don’t care what people think as long as it’s not a lie that I can’t or refuse to make true. *smile* People don’t have a heaven or hell to put me in. So why care about thoughts. Words and deed matter to me.
If you meet me outside the Internet you going to view me as a "Quiet Good Girl" or a "Stuck up B-Word" when first meeting me most times. Very few times do people view as a "Cool" or "Wild" chick at first. It is because I sit and meet people with a greeting and nothing much else. I like to watch people before I truly interact with strangers. I like to see how you would treat someone else so I know what I maybe looking forward to with you. I accept both views because I am Both Views and So Much More. Most people afterwards move away from those views after really meeting me. Few still think of me as the chick they first met. If they still see me as a "Stuck up B-Word" is because our personalities & lives have not & will not ever see eye to eye. More than likely I said something they didn't agree with and well... I am still a "Stuck up B-word". Again Not My Business!!!
The funny people are the ones who still think of me as "The Good Girl". I can do all kind of stuff around them and their view of me will not change. My grandmother's friends have seen & heard me have an argument that includes language that is very vulgar with someone and those little old ladies still think I am one of the Best Citizens in the world. Most of one of my best friend's families (except one of her aunts and as of this past weekend, her mother) think as long as I'm around every thing is in order. Nothing "wrong" is happening. Case in point a few years ago we went out one Saturday and didn't get to her place until late. While we were dressing for church, her grandmother found out that I was with her and said "Oh that was probably a very nice place" even though right before she knew I went she was about to fuss like grandmothers do (Well at least ours). They never understand when we say 4 out of 5 the things we do & places we go be it sacred or secular, I was the planner or at least invited her. Rarely is it her idea. Even sometimes when it was her idea, it was just an idea, then I made the idea an action. Reasons why my mother doesn't think the way her family does about my or my sister's friends. She says (In love because people love/like my mom) all the time "If you hang with my heathen children, you are the same heathen. Why? You Chose to hang with my heathen child".
I guess I rather them think no matter what I do I am still a good girl. It's better than the people who thought I was a good girl see me outside that angled lens and feel betrayed, like I was hiding the "real" me. Yeah, I have those also. They bother me because I have to actually tell Adults "You should not have boxed me into the frame you Thought I would fit". I should not have to. It’s Not My Business!!! I think some of those people think I'm a "Stuck up B-word" also. Oh well. LoL Who said it? Yep, Not. My. Business!
Maybe "Not My Business!!!" will be the title of my reality show. It's Catchy!
The next time someone says “Tell me about yourself” I might tempt fate and ask "Which Lens do you want to look through"? and wait for their response. I really won't care because I believe "What others think of me is Not My Business", but it would be fun to do. LoL
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