Sizeable Judgements

If I were to wed today, there would be 3 married women involved in my wedding. My sister, A and friends Intellectual Diva(ID) & Pink Red are married. I can't imagine asking them to take off their rings. The jewelry I pick could be silver & their ring is gold and I still would have them to take their ring off. I definitely can't imagine either of them doing that request.

Who sees the Matron of the Bride's ring? I never have. Only thing I notice is:

• If the Matron is older than the bride and the rest of the wedding party
• If the Matron(and Maid) have on different dresses than the bridesmaids

I think this sister should take her husband's advice and wear her band. Also, discuss her decision with the bride and also to remind her that this is her wedding and marriage. Anyone that would judge her husband based on the size of her wedding ring, does not need to be around. Oh, and she is included in the anyone.

In my opinion, only three people are needed in a marriage; a loving husband, a loving wife, and their higher power(if they don't have one, I guess two). Judgments are Never needed or wanted. And sometimes the main negative judge is we, ourselves.

Blame My Timeline!

Any Grey's Anatomy fans reading this? Remember when Miranda chose her bridal party? That plan sounds better and better as life continues.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!

To Laugh or Not to Laugh; It Might be Questionable

*Profanity Warning*

Tootsie
Grease
Revenge of the Nerds
Weird Science
Blazing Saddles
Clueless
Superbad
All of these movies and more have at least one problematic but comedic scene that perpetuates rape culture and sexual harassment.

The movie, Animal House turned 40 years recently. An article came across my timeline about should fans stop laughing at Animal House because if it's many rape culture jokes, now that #MeToo has been organized. You can read it HERE.

It was a very interesting read. But it was the comments that caught my eye. Well, they caught my eye roll actually.

Some people are really ready to argue for their entertainment classics and not accept that they too are socially problematic.

"Good god... one of the funniest movies of all time... get a life."

"Oh how we live in the United States of the Offended. It's a classic movie."

"Keep Animal House, get rid of metoo."

My favorite was the "It's a movie, not real life". I never really liked the movie, Animal House. I liked it even less after I went to college. I never knew of or went to a toga party. But a man did climb through the window of woman that was in a sorority and beat & raped her. I saw her some years ago since her attack. I can still see some of her scars. I wish these commentators would put themselves in the victimized characters proverbial shoes. How would they feel if they knew some stranger was looking at them through a window via a ladder.  What if their 13 years old had attended a college party and was stopped? Doesn't seem as funny, does it?

We all have liked some questionable entertainment. One of my favorite Prince songs is "Darling Nikki". The song is a banger. But if I was Apollonia when The Kid melodically called me a whore just because I decided to work with his professional rival, at that moment I would've stormed out also. That banger banged someone's fictional feelings. But when you look at the humanity of it all, your emphatic feelings may take a hit too.

Comedy is Subjective. And that is what many in the world need to learn. Sometimes when we chuckle, "That's messed up or "That's Foul", we should also think, "Could this "joke" actually have a horrible message"? It's not always slapstick comedy. It could be triggering to a past, present, or future life.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!

It's Hot! Let's Talk Chafing!!!

Heat causes sweat. Sweating on certain body parts causes chafing. Chafing irritates the skin and that is very uncomfortable. Boob sweat(excessive perspiration under the breasts) has been a hot topic in my off-line world. A lady I know noticed that I never seem to ever have any. I can sort of imagine her wondering that since I am plus size lady with a large bust. I laughed & I told her about the products I use. She encouraged me to make the post and here we are.

Gold Bond Friction Defense
Monistat Chafing Powder Gel
Lanacane Anti-Chafing Gel
I like these products under my bust & stomach and thighs. Gold Bond looks like a deodorant stick. When I put on my deodorant, I put this on afterward. Monistat & Lanacane are in tubes and are easy to carry in a purse or bag.

Cornstarch
I am surprised natural & organic fans don't encourage this product, more. Talcum powders have been proven to cause cancers. Cornstarch is a natural product to control body moisture. It is good on the hands, glutes, & feet. I have a separate can for the body & for cooking. Cornstarch makes a fine gravy & Lemon Meringue pie also. LoL

Ok, my short skirt-wearing ladies, there are clothing products

here for us to combat chafing.

I ditch the slip & wear slip shorts or men's silk boxers to keep my skirt from sticking to my skin and stop my thighs from sticking as I walk.

Combating skin chafing is important. We sweat so we can keep our bodies cooled off. But while we are cooling, our skin doesn't have to be irritated. And irritation is not healthy!!!

And don't forget to drink Water!!!

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Just A Tip(OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

Ok, this post won't contain recipes. It will contain my favorite nutritional tips to follow. I like these because they are fact-based and also fun.

The company, Diet Solutions teaches me so much. Sometimes I wonder how I maintained life & business without their help. They love visual aids & if they do not have a visual aid, they do the research to obtain one.

Have you ever wondered how to measure recommended portions of food? Thanks to DS's research, here is a guide to help.

The USDA page, ChooseMyPlate.gov gives the most common sense tips. I feel a lot of care is given to this page to make nutrition and eating right as simple as possible.

Then there are food tips and inspirations found in everyday life. Pay attention to your timelines on social media. Look at the article after the one you just read. Notice a side ad on the side of your email. Sometimes you see a gem of a better life.

So, these are my most favorite food & nutrition tips. So much if pushed at us about eating right, it can get complicated. It as always great to find fact-based & fun tips. Because Nobody likes tough things to chew on.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

What Have I Told Y'all About Those Beards?

I saw this on Facebook. I was shocked. Not shocked that beard toupees exist, I'm shocked that my thoughts are being proven true. I'm not usually attracted to or date men with full beards. I also think guys with lots of hair hide their secrets better. But you knew that because you read my post HERE.

The fake beard lifting off of a male face tells me this man is not about the lying life he thinks he is. His face can't handle that amount hair on it. Might be more truths (Keywords is might) coming from the owner of this face. And I might be able to detect a lot more b.s. coming from that face.

And to answer the question, after a quiet deep breath & sigh I would encourage him to leave it off. He will more than likely look better to me without it and would tell him that. Smile, bat my eyes, & stroke his arm & hands to accompany my words. If I am close enough, I might even stroke his face so he would know I want to see his face. He's already embarrassed, no use of me being a jerk about it. I would only break out in laughter and tease him if he's an a-hole because of the situation. It's the same reaction I would have if the guy's toupee on his head fell. But I prefer low haircuts & bald heads, also.

Trendy pop culture foolishly influencing the "rules" again.  When we all figure out how to be comfortable at any stage of our looks, life might feel a little bit better.

I won't let style tell my clumsy 5'2" body that thinly crafted high heels will make me look sexier. A man shouldn't glue a hair rug on his face in order to be handsome. Too many low pump wearers & mustache havers in relationships and very single stiletto & beard lovers that debunk those trendy mindsets.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Stop Tweeting for Advice, Make a Call

Profanity Warning! Profanity Warning!! Profanity Warning!!!

I prefer phone calls over text messages. Mostly because Phone calls are quicker and I can hear a person's emotions. In my professional world, I only text Appointment or Out of Office Date reminders. If a client texts me, I call them back. But that is in my professional world. In another professional world, a man resigned from his job because he thought a message from his superior was a random sex date. Read about it HERE.

See, what a phone call could have cleared all of this up.

"Hey, Corey. This is your boss"

"Hey Boss"

"I need you to come in at 12"

"Oh Ok"

"Ok See you then"

"Yeah Bye"

I understand how Mr. Hrobowski thought this was a d*ck appointment. And yes, he could have texted back "Who is this". But (and a Big but it will be), his boss knew that she had a new number and also her text is not the most professional.

She could have text an apology after revealing who she was. With the rise of spam, scams, & phishing, the superior could have had some understanding at first. I say at first because Mr. Hrobowski needed to tweet for professional advice. His actions on Twitter brought an unnecessary worldwide light on this awkward situation. Before his tweets, I would have had a professional meeting with Human Resource & him to clear up the situation. But once he brought Twitter into it...Hey, he could've gotten fired.

But this is a prime example of what communication has come to in the world. Instead of correcting her text message, his boss decided to look up slang terms until 10 pm. Instead of taking a breath and asking "Who is This" or saying "Ok" after he found out who it was, Cory Hrobowski got on Twitter & is now added to the unemployment numbers. And now you, my readers have to see me wag my finger of correction.

Learn how to use your words, people.  Words have definitions. But we won't know what anything means if we don't communicate, properly.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!

Don't Care, A Yes, Yes-ish, and Probably a No (Answering Questions)

Slow question day, huh? You guys asked me about this pop cultured driven stuff. At least, it is stuff I somewhat knew about. Oh well! You gave me the bullet, so let me shoot out the answers. And yeah, I don't know why I used that analogy.

Q: Brandy ~vs~ Monica

Who is your choice?

A: I don't have a choice. Pop Culture has been Brandy or Monica since The Boy is Mine(Which is a jacked-up song for the sisterhood. I preferred It All Belongs to Me.).

And now Brandy keeps bringing it up. *insert the side-eye* Both sing great. I have preferred songs from both ladies. Monica & Brandy, Brandy & Monica is my choice.

Q: Do you think Charlamagne the god is a rapist?

A: Based on a podcast episode in 2015(Listen to the full episode HERE), he does with Andrew Shultz, he raped a woman. If your sexual partner at the moment is incoherent, they can't give you consent. Don't have sex with them. No One is that sexually aroused. Get a Yes before having sex(Gross, I Rhymed). No "Yes or No" is a No. Consent is Consent.

Q: Should Drake pay Shiggy for making his song "In My Feelings" popular?

A: I think "should pay" isn't the attitude we should take. Drake didn't hire him to take the challenge.

But I do think a "Love Offering" for Shiggy would be nice. Oh and Drake, Keke is married to my cousin D.D. And family is not the type to play with lustful interlopers.

Q: Would you ever throw your panties on stage at a concert?

A: No, I will not throw what I wear on my bottom onto a stage.  I pay a lot for underwear. A pack of 8 is not cheap. (Yes, you are supposed to be laughing) With that said, would I buy a cheap pair out of the dollar store, write my number on them, & throw those? Well, my name still isn't Chrissy Teigen nor has Jazz from the Dru Hill yet wait for me to arrive at the marital altar. Hey if you're an FBF, you saw Dru Hill pass by my table in Virginia. I could have...
So, that answer seems to still be a No.

Send your questions to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com. As you see, I will answer them. Much to my chagrin, even the pop culture related questions will get an answer. I can imagine the people that sent in these are cracking up reading this post. But send in your questions.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms 

mEXsy

I saw this on Instagram. I can't see this being answered any other way. But everybody doesn't think like me and I try to learn from others, so I read some of the comments. Most thought as I did, but some did not. Here are some of the quotables.

"I wouldn't be marrying a man who is jealous of a car"

"We as a team are going to accept it and then laugh at his ass while we trade it in and choose something we like"

"Can he replace it or nah"

"...I'm either donating it or selling it and spending the moolah on my hubby"

Those are their views. Some I understood and some I do not. And I can't and won't argue about those views.

I only have one answer for this meme. I am a person who has been invited to and/or attended an ex-boyfriend's or two weddings. A person who would let an ex walk her down the aisle or be the officiant at her wedding if I was in a pinch. Because you can still be friends/friendly with some of your exes in My world. But even a friendly rapport can go left. The only answer I understand is "Send It Back". Matter of fact, my fiance wouldn't have to tell me to send it back. We might have a tiny argument because he felt the need to say that. Dude, shut up & know me. And not only am I sending the vehicle back, but all of the Miss Manners in me will also send the ex-boyfriend a card. He'll think he's getting a cordial No, Thank You.

Outside of Card
&
Inside Message

Instead, he's going to get the reason why we are still broken up aka I'm full of shade & can't let crap slide. Only a messy man (or woman) would send such a lavish yet disrespectful gift. Stick to the Tupperware & $20 gift cards on the wedding registry.

That's a way how good exes become bad exes. It is also why furniture gets rearranged when some of us see bad exes. Some exes just don't know how to play their role in your life. But it is okay for you, the star of your life to remind them of who they were cast as. Shine Bright!!!

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

People Recommend Life Like Amazon

This may be a stretch, so elongate if you have to. Want to do an experiment on how many people think sometimes? Look at your Amazon Recommendations. I loathe their algorithm for suggestions. The recommendations are very basic. I once bought a sci-fi novel by a black author. Amazon recommended a street lit title afterward. (Do any other races write street lit?) Then there was the time I downloaded Carly Rae Jepson's "Call Me Maybe" and it recommended the movie, "The Jetsons". That stuff usually don't or barely match. The algorithm takes a portion of the purchase & tries to tch interests. But it is a machine, it doesn't know you personally.

The sad part is many people function like that also. Ever been told, "I thought you would like this because you like that."

Have you ever been set up on a date just because you're both the same race or sexuality? And the very popular "You probably know *insert name*, they live in *insert sizable metropolitan city*, too". Generalized suggestions, questions, and even introductions are crazy. They may be well-meaning, but they feel half-hearted, not personal.

If you really care when giving suggestions, proposals, or endorsements, learn more about a person before doing so. Take at least a slight interest in their interests.

Do not Amazon Recommend others in life. Suggestions may be taken more seriously if one does.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

An Observation: Male Self Improvement Books

Here is a question. How many male authors who write/wrote self-help or advice books for women, write/wrote them for men, also. The only name coming to my mind as I write this is Bishop T. D. Jakes. And that is because I read some of his works. I know there are more. There has to be more. I hope there are more. Let me know in the comments, please.

After reading about Love languages, of course, Amazon Kindle recommended several books that are supposed to be similar. The theme I saw couldn't be ignored. If you are a regular reader of this blog, this is a topic I've teased at before. In a previous Post, I said;

"I'm tired of some of these male self-help authors writing books for ladies but have yet to write a book for men. I can "Act Like Lady & Think Like a Man" but what is the dude I'm dating suppose to do. ...he's Just Not Into Me but let him know I just may not be into him also. The dating reaction coin works the same for both genders."

I'm kinda weirded out. First, I thought because I'm so "woke" about daily learning about myself was why it bothered me. But no, common sense wouldn't let me not see it. You click on the author's page and see only books that give advice to women. What Gives?

I sometimes wish somebody would just release the stats that women read more than men and we can call some(I will say Some) of these male authors writing only to women, Opportunist. Early talks & workshops gears to young men are good. I can't knock that. Sometimes having men only social media post is ok. But what about a manual to help your brotherhood.

Writing only to women actually is a passive aggressive way that puts the social responsibility on the female gender. Whether these male authors know it or not. "If ladies change their response to negative male behavior, the gentlemen will show up" is the only message mostly put out. But until male writers talk directly to the humans of the same gender as them, the negative behavior can try to dwindle. Some negative behaviors won't be there to have a response.

But I know, boys will be boys!

Oh and to the male authors that do write positive self-improvement and advice books for men, Thank You!!!

As Always, Talking to You In Adult Terms.

It's Another Day's Journey...(Answering Questions)

Questions Asked, Questions Answered!

Q: What do you think is the worst day(s) for a date?

A: I have a complicated relationship with Tuesdays. It's not my favorite day of the week. Trying to jog my mind and I'm rather confident that I decided years ago not to go on dates Tuesdays if all possible. Best bet is to find the day you don't ever feel your best and not go on dates on that one.

Q: Did you watch The Guy Series Finale? Any thoughts? Are you doing a review of the whole series like you did for previous web shows?

A: *Spoiler Alert*
Yeah, I after I said I wasn't, I ended up watching the much-awaited series finale of the web series, That Guy. As you know it came with drama on several sides. I refuse to talk about the drama. I don't want the tea or lemonade behind any of it. I didn't live tweet like usually would and I am not doing a review of the whole series. That Guy just ended. My "Fan Hearted Thinking" theory at the end, it was Deon(I didn't dislike Deon but as a ceremonial exit to Ms. Daniels from Black & Sexy) got hit with the bullet and she was talking at the police station or from the grave. But actually, we watched a rough draft and that's why the series finale flowed like an episode 1. The proverbial Well should've been left alone.

While Power is on, I watch

Q: You never talk about Power. Do you watch it?

A: I sure Don't watch Power. I've never seen an episode. I don't watch Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead, also. You didn't ask, but I told you anyway. It is an hour-long show well past Season 1 at this point. And I am a horrible binge watcher. Y'all have fun, though.

Q: Recently, you live-tweeted during a Sunday morning service you were at or watching. Are you looking to do that more often?

A: No, I only do that on an occasional whim. I'm not live-tweeting while at church, in person. I take out my phone at church, I'm bored. When streaming from home, live-tweeting is like me signifying with the pastor or minister or high fiving with a neighbor. My church's live feed has a Twitter plug-in. Many times I forget it's there.

But feel free to follow #tphonline, many of the e-church congregants tweet some great notes & observations. You can find some nice gems in that hashtag.

Don't forget to send your questions to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@GMail.com. As you see, I do answer them.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!

Yeah, There Will be Changes

Another year of blogging for me is upon us. I've told you guys before I have no idea when & where to stop this crazy thing. When I do, you'll be the first to know.

This year there will be two changes. Change is good. Change is necessary.

Change 1: I miss giving my opinion on different stories I see on the internet or on TV. I don't do it as often as I started.

So, how about you guys send me some articles to give my opinion on? As long as they are;

• Real Stories from reputable sources. And I will verify.
• Not political. I keep my political views off this blog. I just want you to vote, that's all
• No stories that will cause me to bash anyone because of their disability, financial status, gender, health, religion/creed, race, or sexuality.

Also, my opinion can be discussed, but it not up for argument. If you want a "Yes Person", don't send any stories. Oh, if I can't give you an informed view, I will let you know via email. So like your questions, send those articles to C.Out.Spoken.Diva@gmail.com.

Change 2: I won't be doing any more hair & makeup update posts. Sorry, but they are starting to bore me. Plus, I'm not an MUA or a Beauty Influencer.

There are pictures all over this post. They're from whenever I used new products this blog year. Also, there is a length check (& a grey strand sighting) pic or two. If you are interested in a look, let me know and I'll slide that product info to you.

See, those weren't bad.

I thank everyone for reading any posts I have ever published. I'm just putting my views & mindset out there. And of course, I promise the OUTSPOKEN_DIVA blog you've come to enjoy.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms