The "Who Proposes" Question

I have this 3X-asked question sitting in my inbox unanswered. "Do I agree with women proposing to men"? Thanks to the lady who proposed to the guy, who said no and whispered to her he was married in a Nigerian mall, this "everyone has an opinion on" topic is on trend again. I have never heard anyone voice my true answer, so I have to actually voice (well type it) it.

No, maybe never will I ever believe a woman should propose to a man. No matter what traditions and misrepresented scriptures say, there are no rules written anywhere that dictate who should propose marriage. Those are not the basis of my opinion. It is based on my observation. I don't agree with it because I have only seen women who are desperate to propose. No Human(Male or Female) Should Propose Marriage Out of Desperation. Even some of the success stories I have read have desperation in them.

They usually have one question based on the proposal, "Why hasn't he proposed yet"?. Until I hear more women confidently say they knew because of the talks their boyfriend & they had together, it was the right time for them to take their relationship to the ultimate step, and most importantly, I Loved Him, I say No. None of this I proposed because he didn't or was slowing around will get my approval. I proposed because I can't see life without him. That's what I want to hear. And if you are doing the relationship work, you should know.

Oh & before you ask, I don't know if I would propose marriage. I don't entertain serious marriage discussions until well into year 2 of consistent dating. And remember, I've never brought a boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner. It would be premature for me to propose and I don't know if 25 people attacking a green bean casserole makes him want to run out the front door.

As Always, Talking to You In Adult Terms.

The Weight of the Ring

I don't talk a lot about my job. I own a small company in the food & diet sector. If you are a reader, you've probably have figured out its name. And yes, there are a few days a year where I put my head down and wonder about my career choices. I think we all have them. Mine usually come after days worth of clients coming in unprepared or I discover a female client wants my help so that her fiance´will propose.

The latter baffles me from no end. Starting year one with my first referred client, I seem to attract ladies who do this. I'm not one to say I've never changed for a man I was seeing. I mean I have a whole POST about doing it. But I still worry about women who feel like if they were slimmer, their SO will propose. I really worry about women who have heard their finances say they will propose to them if they lose weight.

Usually, I choose my money over opinion. I'm plus size in the food & diet world. I'm unmarried. My clients don't pay me to give them advice on their personal lives. But recently, I chose opinion over money. My client's boyfriend came with her to an appointment. The meeting was going well until he said, "Keep working with Ms. *my bio last* and I bet you'll look nice enough for a ring." Before I knew it, I ask him what was he working on for her to accept a ring from him.

He chuckled. She didn't and continued with her questions for me. They left and I put my head down to think. "Should I have said that"? "I bet you'll mind your business next time". "Well, let me re-calculate the budget". Yes when I put my head down, my mind wanders far. Well, I gambled and got to keep my money. The client is still my client and comes prepared. And is she is still dating the guy? I don't know. That didn't come up in her last assessment.

Wishful Me wants the boyfriend to change his mindset about love & body shame. I definitely want my client to change her mindset on self-worth. Changing how one thinks is less painful than heartbreak. But if a break up brings about healthier behavior, heartbreak it is. Healthy minds do influence healthy bodies. And crazy enough, sometimes it's not just your body. But that's my hopeful thought.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Eh, Not That Deep

Events Described are Based on Someone's Real Events

Where are my boring life people at? Ever had a week that was not going right. I mean a week that is heavier than others. For example, you're starting the week with word that a loved one, same age as you was rushed to the hospital because blood was not getting to their head. Then a few days later, you find out you're going to have to eat ticket cost for a beloved event, because of unforeseen life issues. Then the very next day & day of the event, a mailed package for someone who trust you is misdelivered to another address and their signature is forged. The police comes to your home to ask questions and do a theft report.

You want to scream!!! This is way too much for one week. But you don't yell, because perspective comes in and rewire your thoughts. Your relative didn't die. They will have to do therapy & rehab, but they are still here on Earth to do it. You lost the money for one ticket. Yes money costs, but somebody may have loss money for more than one ticket. Also, you were available to meet with the police that evening. And yes, theft is a crime also, but no one was raped, hurt, shot, stabbed, or killed. Turn on the news and someone else was.

The dictionary says perspective is an attitude toward or way of regarding something. It is a point of view on a matter. When you flip your sights on more positive points, your perception turns too.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Soup's On! (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Recipes)

It is Soup & Stew season in my world. More than likely, it is that season in your world, also. Soups & Stews are good & warm ways to get your daily recommendations for vegetables. Adults should consume eight or more servings of fruits and vegetables every day. That's 4 ½ cups. Soups can easily supply that total. Vegetables in soup contain many vitamins, like A and C.

Many soups are low in fat, making them a nice choice for anyone concerned about fat in their diet. Canned soups are nice & convenient, but the sodium levels can be high. I like taking a free quiet & cold afternoon to make soup & stew. I eat some then freeze a few bowls for later days. I put the bowls near the frozen vegetables because those are most of the vegetables I used.

Let's start with my easiest favorite soup recipe, Minestrone Soup. It's vegetable soup and easy to make a side dish to any main dish or be a full meat-less meal.

Minestrone Soup

Ingredients:

• 4 cups vegetable broth
• 4 cups diced tomatoes
• 1 tbsp. chopped fresh basil
• 1/2 tsp. oregano
• 2 carrots, chopped
• 2 stalks celery, chopped
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 3 zucchini, chopped
• 1 cup green beans, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 bay leaf
• Salt and pepper to taste (optional)
• 1 1/2 cups macaroni pasta (or use another small pasta shape such as small shells)

Directions:

1. Place the vegetable broth in a large pot, then add in the diced tomatoes, basil, oregano, carrots, celery, onion, zucchini, green beans, garlic, and the bay leaf.
2. Slowly bring the soup to a low simmer and allow to cook over very low heat for at least 45 minutes and up to one hour.
3. Add the salt and pepper and the macaroni pasta and bring the heat up a bit to a medium-low.
4. Allow to simmer for another 10 to 20 minutes, or until the pasta is done the cooking.
5. Remove the bay leaf before serving

Of course, I have a favorite chicken soup. Chicken soup is the most widely known. I think most cultures have a chicken soup recipe. Noodles are traditional & quinoa is on trend, but my favorite carbohydrate to put in chicken soup is rice. Like frozen vegetables, we keep rice on hand in our home. So, it is very easy for me to add rice.

Chicken & Rice Soup

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped
• 3 large celery stalks, finely chopped
• 2 medium garlic cloves, minced
• 12 cups (3 quarts) chicken broth
• 2 tsp. dried poultry seasoning
• 1 tsp. ground ginger
• 1 1/2 cups wild rice blend
• 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, medium dice
• 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken thighs, medium dice
• 1/4 cup frozen spinach
• 1 cup frozen mixed vegetables
  

Directions:

1. Heat oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. When it shimmers, add onion, carrots, celery, and garlic.
2. Cook, stirring occasionally until onion is softened, about 10 minutes.
3. Add broth, poultry seasoning, ginger, and rice and bring to a boil.
4. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, covered, until rice is tender but still has some firmness, about 25 to 30 minutes.
5. Add chicken and frozen vegetables. Simmer until chicken is cooked through, about 20 minutes.
6. Remove from heat, taste, and season with salt and pepper if desired.

Learning to make beef stew was caused by a mistake. I was making a pot roast on Sunday. Accidentally thinking about another dish, I dumped frozen vegetables in it towards the end. Before serving dinner, I realized my mistake. I sliced the meat and hoped my mistake would be overlooked. My family thought I meant to make stew. Later, I did my research and other people make stew in the oven. Well, the key to making stew is to make it low and slow. An oven will aid you in doing that. Oh & yes, that is a picture of my mistake. LOL

Veggieful Beef Stew

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 tbsp Italian Seasoning
• 1 (3-pound) boneless chuck roast
• 3 tbsps canola oil
• 1 medium yellow onion, large dice
• 1 cup dry red wine
• 4 cups (1 quart) low-sodium beef broth
• 2 bay leaves
• 3 medium carrots, chopped
• 3 medium celery stalks, chopped
• 4 medium Idaho potatoes, chopped
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1/2 cup frozen green beans
• 1/4 cup frozen corn
• Salt & Pepper to taste
  

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°
2. Place 1/4 cup of the flour and the Italian seasoning in a large bowl and whisk to combine; set aside.
3. Trim the roast of excess fat and cut it into 1- to 1-1/2-inch cubes. Place the meat in the flour mixture and toss to coat; set aside.
4. Heat the oil in a large, heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium heat until shimmering.
5. Shake off the excess flour from about one-third of the meat and add it to the pot.
6. Cook, stirring rarely until browned all over, about 4 to 5 minutes. Remove to a large bowl. Repeat with the remaining meat in 2 more batches; set aside.
7. Add the onion to the pot & cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and just starting to brown about 5 minutes.
8. Stir in the 1 tablespoon of flour to coat the onion, and cook for 1 to 2 minutes.
9. Pour in the wine, scrape up any browned bits from the bottom of the pot, and cook until the mixture has thickened, about 3 minutes.
10. Return the meat and any accumulated juices in the bowl to the pot.
11. Add the broth & bay leaves and stir to combine.
12. Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil.
13. Cover pot and bake at 350° for 90 minutes.
14. Cut the carrots, celery, and potatoes into large dice and add them to the pot (peel the carrots and potatoes first, if desired).
15. Stir to combine, cover, & return to oven for 1 hour more or until the vegetables and meat are knife tender
16. Remove and discard the bay leaves. Stir in the frozen vegetables and heat uncovered for 15 minutes.
17. Taste and season with salt and pepper as needed.

So, what are your favorite soups, stew, chowders, or bisques? Let me know in the comments. And don't be shy, share the recipe too. These are my favorite soup & stew recipes. My favorites to eat in New England Clam Chowder & Seafood Gumbo. Oh, and I like making those also. Crazy how a simple dish of liquids & solids can be so cozy.

As Always, Talking to You In Adult Terms