Have to Update My Pintrest Wedding Board

If the title of this post made you chuckle...You are one of my people. LoL

It is June (at the time I am writing this post) aka The Middle Wedding Season. Go read about a Florida couple who planned a mansion wedding even though they didn’t own it and didn't have permission, HERE.

What in the Christopher Columbus is going on? Child...It is audacity for me.

Years ago near in the DFW, a man bought a mansion for $16 because of some obscure real estate law. Neighbors thought he was a squatter and months and months later the courts gave him the boot.

But he paid $16. This couple was having a whole squatting event in this luxury home and hadn't paid a dime to use it. Forget ownership & laws, they were having a wedding. And it included a Sunday brunch the next day. Y'all know my favorite meal is Brunch.

I can imagine if I had been invited to this event. I would probably be quoting my great-aunt, El Diva saying, "I knew they had a touch of class" while preparing to attend the nuptials. But after it was canceled & finding out why, I would have quoted my late great-aunt, Neimans, and said, "I knew them n*ggas weren't sh*t". And did you read that the groom brought "God's message" into his foolishness? Like the Heavenly Father wants that lie to include him.

Looks like I'm being told to keep my idea for a Happy Hour buffet & Line Dance reception. I can afford that. And my groom-to-be & I will definitely sign an agreement to be there. 

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Sick of Y'all & Monique and Monique & Y'all

If you have been under a rock here is the deal. Comedian Monique made a video about her disapproval of wearing bonnets in public. I, a Gen Xer agree with the stance. Ask my niece how many side-eyes she gets when she is with me with one on. Many Millenials & Gen Zers got angry & told her to mind her business and stop enforcing her respectability politics on Black Women. Monique doubled down in her views. Then the chatter was getting quiet and Monique posted a picture of a plus-size young lady in a very short casual outfit and what looks like a plastic conditioner/shower cap in an airport that was sent to her. And she says in that post basically This is What I Was Talking About, but Do You. I'm probably still taking the deepest of deep sighs. Nobody is slow. We knew what she meant. We didn't need the visual. And it is cyber-shaming, in my opinion. And of course many took sides Many had praise or vitriol about her post. But very little finger-wagging at whoever the photographer was. If I find out it was an ugly man with unkempt braids, I won't be shocked. I just hope somebody close to the comedian aunty help her understand the foul posting of that photo.

But truthfully, I AM TIRED!!! I don't want to hear crap else about this issue. Dead Horse had been beaten to Glue.

DEFINE RESPECT & SELF-RESPECT and live your definition. And that is all that needs to be done & said.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Vacation Sex Spray for the Soul (Answering Questions)

Questions have Answers. Answers have Questions. And you're probably wondering about the title. And one of the answers is that nobody asked me 2 of 3 of these, but I am answering them anyway.

Q: Look at the Picture

A: I have been off the chain so bad that somebody threw their drink in my face during an argument. I can admit when I wilding out. But a drink in the face is a knee-jerk reaction. Spraying somebody is deliberate and thought out. And I will fight dude for doing that. Because if you had time to make a spray, you have time to have an adult discussion about whatever I am doing that is bothering you(with your childish a-word).

Q: Look at the Picture

A: A Real Man won't expect anything he doesn't open his mouth and discuss. A Real Man isn't so afraid of rejection & the word "NO" that he is paying for vacations for anybody that he can not and/or will not discuss his wishes & wants with beforehand. Or maybe I define Real Man differently than others.

This Post's Q&A Video:

If You Can't See the Video, Click HERE

Don't forget, if you have any questions, email them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below or on the social media site where you see this post. I will answer them. 

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As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Ask Me How I Feel (Black Music Month)

In 2013, when the news broke that Tina Turner relinquished her citizenship in the USA to become a permanent resident in Switzerland, I felt I understood why. After watching Tina, the documentary on HBOMax, I knew I wasn't very off. For me, at what point in life will Tina Turner be free of her abusive ex-husband, Ike Turner. I hate having to pose that question. I can imagine how many times Tina has had that question herself.

And let's tell the truth how much do we know about Tina Turner before & after her marriage to Ike Turner. And that was one thing I took away from this documentary. Yes, they go over the years with Ike that we know about. But as a person that wasn't born while she was with Ike didn't know about her being various games & variety shows to make ends meet after she left. I loved seeing what it was like for her to make Private Dancer & We Don't Need Another Hero. Those are my favorite songs by Turner.

Did y'all know Tina Turner has written two books since I, Tina? One in 2018, My Love Story, A Memoir & in 2020, Happiness Becomes You: A Guide to Changing Your Life for Good. Turner described this documentary as a parallel story to her latest memoir. And of course, we see what journalists & the media won't report. Tima Turner is very fed up with questions about Ike Turner. We see how she handled those questions in a very classy but firm many. Tina even shows the interview where she says beside Angela Bassett that she hadn't seen the movie, What's Love Got To Do With It. She didn't want to relive those moments. 

And even though this blogger started this blog my thoughts on why Tina became a Swiss citizen. It's not exactly the full case. Tina Turner fell in love. Yes, with her husband, German Erwin Bach who gave her a kidney & is 16 years her junior. She also fell in love with the simple life of Switzerland. America is not so modest for Tina Turner. She's been through a lot. Why not pick the easiest living area she loves? I truly understand her telling America goodbye.

Of course, my takeaway of Tina on HBOMax is nowhere near how this nice film is. I'm just happy it delivered on what the opening song begged it to do. Ask Me How I Feel. Go watch it for yourself.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

But Someone Did Ask...

I'm going to take you back to my 5th grade Social Studies class. The final homework question for the day was, "Why was the Civil War more Hurtful than the American Revolutionary War"?. Mr. Carry-On was our teacher. He was white, young, from Pennsylvania, and teaching his 2nd year in an all-black student school in South Dallas, Texas, near the Fair Park. He was not ready for the question he was going to receive next. One of my classmates asked, "Why doesn't this book talk about Juneteenth"? Mr. Carry-On was puzzled & ask what was he talking about. And the classroom was in an uproar. How hadn't he heard of Juneteenth? He was a teacher. Bless his heart! He didn't know we were taught in and out of school by parents, grandparents, and teachers(Black, White, & Jewish) about the day Texas slaves found out about the Emancipation Proclamation two years later since before Kindergarten. That textbook tried to fail us. And somebody failed Mr. Carry-On.

June 15th, 2021, I'm far from the 5th grade, but I thought about Mr. Carry-On. The Senate unanimously voted for Juneteenth to be a National holiday. Some Black people(some I am fans of) think that act is performative. We're going to have our cookouts & drink red drinks, but what about voter suppression & student loan reductions? 

Trust me those things are very important. Texas is one of the states trying to change things before the November 2022 election. Without voter suppression, many including the governor could be out of a job. And I want my student loans forgave. As far as I am concerned, Sallie Mae and her biracial niece, Navient are my pimps & I work for them.

But why is make Juneteenth a National holiday thought to be so frivolous?

Is the 90+-year-old, Opal Lee walking campaign to Washington, D.C. to make it a National holiday, frivolous? She's from my neighboring city, Fort Worth. Lee is considered the Grandmother of Juneteenth. She has worked tirelessly to raise national awareness to make Juneteenth a federal holiday. Read about her & her efforts HERE.

Making Juneteenth a National holiday helps Opal Lee and 5th-grade Outspoken_Diva and her classmates educate too many that don't know about June 19. And let's tell the real truth, Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, on Jan. 1, 1863, the US doesn't openly celebrate that factual day either. Don't believe me. Look up why many Black churches have Watch Night services. But what is the rest of the country doing? It wasn't just a New Year to some of our ancestors on that day.

That's why Juneteenth is not "just been made into some National holiday".

And just like we're working on so many other issues of inequality, some work went into this too.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

When You Think of... (Answering Questions) (Black Music Month)

If You Can't See the Video, Click HERE

"When You Think About the Decade" is a challenge that a few have done that focus on the songs that instantly make you think of the decade you were in childhood, high school, and college/young adulthood. They don't exactly have to be your favorite songs.  Some are doing 10 songs per decade, I'll keep it at three. And well, being born in the late 70s, I was a child in the 80s, in high school in the 90s, and college & a young adult mostly in the 2000s. So, let's see what songs remind me of these periods.

The 1980s

If Only for One Night - Luther Vandross

Long ago and so far away there was a radio show called the Quiet Storm. And Luther would sing a song about wanting a chance for a little romance even if it was for an evening. Dang, he had it bad.

Supersonic - JJ Fad

This song instantly makes me want to do the Wop & the Waco when it comes on. I remember on the playground all the girls were trying to rap fast as JJ Fad. And I will admit I never got a "That Was It". Are You Shocked?

Completely Yes - Sandra Crouch (ft. Jean Johnson)

You are some kind of heathen if you don't know this song - Football Nerd. As a little girl, I remember every church but Foundation church sung this song back in the day. My favorite part is the breakdown at the end. "Myyy Soooul Says YES, YEs, YeS, Yes, Lord" makes my soul say Yes!

The 1990s (High School)(I went to Middle School & College during this decade also)

Tootsee Roll - 69 Boyz

Back when Twerking was called Booty Boucin', you could either make it sensual by adding the Butterfly or give a hip hop vibe and do the Tootsee Roll. And with or without pain pills, I can still do those three dances.

Clean Inside - Hezekiah Walker & the Love Alive Choir

"Won't He Make You Clean Inside"? Those are all the words to this song. And all the Youth Choirs were singing it.

Count on Me - Whitney Houston & Cece Winans

It was my high school class's graduation song. The band dedicated it to us. LJ, the Bestie Boo and I tease & sing the chorus to one another every graduation anniversary.

The 2000s

We Fall Down - Donnie McClurkin

The first episode of Girlfriends I saw was McClurkin singing, " We Fall Down, But We Get Up" in a church scene. I was hoping he was the role of their pastor. Oh well, a girl could wish.

Dangerously in Love - Destiny's Child

Have ever been around a group of women when this song comes on. It's an automatic sing-a-long. Trust Me!

Chicken Head - Project Pat

"Yeah you like my outfit, don't even fake the deal". Nothing screams college in the 2000s than dancing to questionable lyrics. Don't look at me like that. I'm human.

So, what music reminds you of certain decades? Let me know in the comments. Now, I off to find a playlist and reminiscence.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Hey Will Forever be a Great Greeting

Shoutout to Foundation church for being warm & Outspoken_Diva-defined normal, recently. Just a bunch of acceptable "Who", "Child...", a confused "How are You", "Hey...", lots hugs & chuckles. *nice sigh*❤ Let's call them the inspirational backbone for this post.

Reunion Season is upon us. I avoid the people of my past a lot. It's not that I am so hurt, contrary to popular beliefs. I'm just not a fan of that particular social norm. I like pure interactions, not "Let Us Hang-Out & Catch-Up Because Traditions Say We Should". It's Weird!

I wasn't raised with structured Family reunions. We gather when we gather. And I know the family I know and I am good with that. School reunions since the 10-year high school one get a No. Thanks to social media, I'll see them at the 50th. I see church past at weddings, funerals(service, not the repast), and random public run-ins while shopping or visiting others.

I'm horrible at keeping up with the past. And when I know I have to be around the past I worry about

• Greetings
• Reminiscing
• Keeping Up in the Future

One day, maybe (Keyword...), I'll talk about Reminiscing & Keeping Up, but let me give my thoughts on the Greetings.

I know look the same, but others do not. And I loathe & cringe at, "You act like you don't know me", because if I say, "I don't", I'm the a-hole. Believe me, people can be harsh when you don't remember them.

What is wrong with honestly not remembering? What's wrong with knowing maybe you changed physically? What's wrong with a good old, "Hey! How are you?" Is the art of the greeting dead? Can it be revived?

Here is a list:

• Hi!
• Hey!
• How are you?
• How are things (with you)?
• It’s good to see you.

Let's work on those. And if the person is honestly confused say, "Oh, you don't remember me. I'm *insert your identity*" with some understanding & decency. Stop being rude! That's uncalled for. Remember each human brain is different and not wired the same. Charge to their heads and not their hearts.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!