Talk About It Tuesday (Stranger Danger, Get Your Kids)

Because Outspoken_Diva tries to be a nice Adult Citizen. Keyword is...

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Talk About It Tuesday (Taxes, Stimulus, Lottery)

Mind Your Business!!! And don't tell me..."You First".

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

How to Make a Baby Spice

There are clear hot sauces, FYI

Like a long-winded preacher, I won't be before you long.

Instagram Model Says Drake Puts Hot Sauce In His Used Condoms After Sex, Plans To Sue Him... Yes, that is a headline. Go read it HERE. 

Now, you guys know I am here not to talk about the salaciousness. I'm not even sure how true any of this is. If it is, she is wrong for trying to get pregnant & "trap" this celebrity.

She wouldn't have had hot sauce anywhere near her genitals if she wasn't trying to do some mess. Also, if it is true I want to know who told Drake about this foolishness. I know it can't be a responsible sexual health-educated person who is doling out this info.

And that is why I am here. The lack of safe sex practices not being used makes me nervous. I am afraid to know if this is really happening in these sexual intercourse streets. Hot Sauce doesn't belong on any part of the body but the tongue. 

Anything with peppery spices may cause a burning sensation when placed on delicate areas like your vagina or the head of his penis. And if anyone is concerned about killing sperm, use spermicidal condoms, lubes, & foams. When rinsing out condoms was trending, I took the time to price those & non-spermicidal condoms. They Don't Cost That Much. Also, health agencies give out spermicidal kind. The products are out there...Do Not Do Stupidity To & With Your Body. Kids do cost money and vaginosis & stinging penis openings hurt. Be Safe & Responsible.

And if this story is false...Still Don't Put Hot Sauce in Condom & Sneakily Try to Get Pregnant. It's Not Worth It!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

A Nice Red (Book Review)

We all just want to be Whole. Especially us Fast Little Church girls who wear "All That Red" lipstick. When my mother found that I was interested in wearing lipstick, she bought me a tube of fuchsia & a tube of red (Revlon's Certainly Red, the color she wore). The ladies in my home, my grandmother, mother, & sister wore their preferred various shades of red (and other colors) lipstick that looked good on them when they dressed up. And the day they dressed up the most was Sunday. Because on Sunday, they were going to church. That is where the church clerks, ushers, deaconesses, mission sisters, and assistant youth directors can be found. But that was the very place I found out I was fast and/or too grown for wearing something my mother bought me. Oh Yes, of course, the place I call on this blog, Foundation Church had some finger-wagging church folks in it, that disapproved of the young female congregants wearing red lipstick (& that color nail polish, and getting their hair done in a salon aka things I did) like some of the other houses of worship in the Christian religion. It was almost a decade later for me to learn & understand about church folks' beliefs & feelings (All racist, colorist, & misogynistic based) about red-colored female lips. But it did not take that long to find the shades of red that match me.

So reading Red Lip Theology: For Church Girls Who've Considered Tithing to the Beauty Supply Store When Sunday Morning Isn't Enough by Candice Benbow had to be right up my alley. Benbow according to the internet is a theologian, essayist, columnist, baker, and educator whose work gives voice to Black women’s shared experiences of faith, healing, and wholeness. I first heard of her talking about Jay-Z's 4:44 album on a few podcasts. But when she spoke about sexuality and the church with popular Youtuber, KevOnStage was when I became a fan.

In this book, whose chapter titles are patterned like makeup application steps, starting with Skin Care, she gives voice to her beginnings as the daughter of a single mother and an absentee father attending a Black Baptist church. In the 1st four chapters, the quote, "I am Not My Sister's Keeper, I am My Sister" kept shadowing my reading. Many of her experiences sounded familiar to the young church girl tales of my own & others I grew up with. Other essays talk about her lessons surrounding adultery, feminist/womanist beginnings, theology experiences, and her feelings about the controversial term, "soul ties"(Let's just say my feelings spoken in a Q & A video on here are not far off). And I do a curtsey to this author for teaching me a term for my personal vocabulary. That "Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner" reasoning the church loves to use for "allowing" gay folks in "their" congregations has a great proper name. Candice Benbow ends her work by talking about grieving & living life without her beloved mother, Debra in recent years. She pens it with a final letter. It is good like the feel-good fan air blown after the book's Setting Spray. But this entire work's heart spoke to her mom and more than likely to her grandmother & other mother figures lovingly well. If I were to use makeup term, let's say it is Beat for the Gawds!

One day sociologists will look fully into why we, ladies (especially us, Black ladies) take less time to find our perfect shades of red for our complexions than to break from doctrines, theologies & religious ideologies that don't serve & mistreat us. I hope this book gets referenced. Because just like finding that "right red", many of us "fast & too grown" church girls found or are finding our own ways to worship God. And we found that the lip colors of our female family members & others within personal communities didn't match exactly to our paths to worshiping & beliefs about God & his love. And that is Okay. Red Lip Theology: For Church Girls Who've Considered Tithing to the Beauty Supply Store When Sunday Morning Isn't Enough is one woman's journey. And it is a trip worth watching her take.

Now, will Sunday be a Revlon's Cherries in the Snow or Gash by Urban Decay day for me? My church outfit needs a pop of color.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Some Folks Need Mental Shapewear

Teenage me is screaming!!! I was at the front door to pick up a delivery and hear THIS story on the TV. I have been plus size. My body was policed so much growing it is almost comical. I think subconsciously have always dressed the way I do to buck this man-made fashion system that tells me I am only supposed to wear long, all-black, or floral print clothing. I know somewhere on here, I discussed me almost getting sent home from school before the 1st bell because I wouldn't tuck in my shirt. HERE it is. I was fingertip & ruler check about a skirt or a dress length a few times in school in the 90s. But the incident still annoys me. Thank God for my school counselor.

But yet here we are in another century and yet adults in charge of children at schools are still policing bodies. If you didn't read the article, counselors at a Mississippi middle school sent a letter home with the female students talking about concerns about the self-images with young ladies. And to aid in helping these girls, could they provide shapewear, underwear, & bras for the students. *deep sigh* I told you Teenage is screaming. Mostly the word, "Still". 

But I have to tell Teenage me, " Yeah, Still". Yeah, common sense should say, "When does a girdle give anyone a better self-view"? I wear shapewear. Been wearing it for almost 30 years, I think. That was what was at my door. It just makes you look smoother in your clothing.

It doesn't do anything to improve negative self-images in your mind. Also, do we think info like bra sizes of young women needs to be shared with the school admin? These are still humans and People are Judgemental. As soon as a student with a 40I bust turn in her form, Dollar to Donuts somebody at least thought, "Oh My God, Dang She's Big". Remember I lived that life. Some Adults can be worse than children. And finally, let's talk about child pedophilia. Perverts come in both sexes and aren't always on a state list. If I was a parent wouldn't want to aid in anyone preying on my student because of the info I provided. Sounds extreme until the guidance counselor is in handcuffs because they led their way to a child's body by saying they got more undergarments for them.

The school counselors may have had good intentions. But there are healthier ways to promote positive self-images into the minds of the student body. I say let's go old school and start with videos & discussion with the students. Find out where their heads are at. And I said students without assigning gender-specific adjectives to that word. And I will leave that sentence there.

This is #10 on the Why I am Childless List...The Unbelievable!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

2021 and Done

Shout out to my Pure Romance consultant & college NACWC sister, T for the meme. In the year 2000, Try Again by Aaliyah was the number song on my birthday. Good to know I will have some inspiration to keep me going all year long.

"You Do Your Best Growing in a Dark Place" ~ Bishop T.D. Jakes, Inflection Point (Sermon on December 12, 2021)

I couldn't wait to type that statement when I heard it.

I was cleaning up as a result of the ebony spot I was in this year. Being in the shadows didn't comfort me. And whenever I am uncomfortable, I know my departure from that area is coming up.

And even though 2021, 2021 us up a wall, it has to be wrapped up. I decided to bundle it up with a couple of life tools.

Write Down Accomplishments and Lessons Learned

• Got a Grill Pan And I have grilled almost everything. Grilled desserts are weird to me. But when I grilled bread I knew I was having so much fun. And fun I shall have.
• Took October Off and Got Down to Facing Some Issues & Grief I knew for while I was functioning in a depressed state. To the point, where I could look around and say, "I am on some B.S.". And it has to be cleaned up and I am still scrubbing.
• Read 10 Books Past My Goal I feel like I can truly say I am an Avid Reader again. There are too many years I barely met or didn't meet my goal. And to reward myself, I bought a book. LoL
• Foundation Church can be Normal at Funeral From my Facebook on May 27, 2021, Transparent Moment: The Weirdest Stuff Warms My Heart! Some people know I'm horrible at keeping up with the past. And I know look the same, but others do not. But I loathe & cringe at, "You act like you don't know me" as a greeting. Because if I say, "I don't", I'm the a-hole.😏🙃😏 But Not Today! Shoutout to Foundation church aka ____the church's initials____ for being warm & ____my biological name___-defined normal, today. Just a bunch of acceptable "Who", "Child...", a confused "How are You", "Hey...", lots hugs & chuckles. *nice sigh*❤

🤚🏾Raising My Hand😁

Grill Pan Action

Write Down Gratitude

• Life It doesn't go without saying. We are functioning like we deserve to live. Like everybody will be here forever. And we don't & won't. In 2021, I said goodbye to 5 people I can't believe are really not here in the world. I said, "Do What" & 'Aww No" so much. And as I watch loved ones, including my own, figure out the world without them, I keep being reminded of the statement, "Life is But Vapor. Take it in While You Can".
• The Vaccine Yes, I am a Moderna Maven. I mean if I want the world to be healthy, And the way these variants are coming in, I am grateful for the protection. I have to do my part. Now, I need my Tetanus booster updated. Can't be getting lockjaw from a rusty nail. My masks won't protect me from that.
• Strength to Keep a Closed Door Shut 2020, I set a timed fuse to blow up a friendship. I had to for my heart's sake. Sometimes, I will retie strings I cut & get knotted back up. So, I dared me not to turn around and check on that person. Nobody said the person died so, I guess they are okay. I do hope they thrive in their world. I just know I have no business looking at them do it.
• Ability to Choose Me Yeah, there were many times I said "No" to invitations. Went on with my plans though preferred people weren't going to be there. Admitted I was tired and made myself rest. You noticed I didn't blog about all the salacious topics. Made scheduled days I don't talk on social media. I put some text threads on mute and checked on them eventually. I decided a few times to need small wants. That felt good. And going back to being a good steward of my finances. *refreshing sigh*

Youtube Me would like a word.

If You Don't See The Video, Click HERE

Oh, trust me I am not ignoring the state of the world we are in currently. How could I? January 6th was the "I Told You So" lawmakers & the like didn't want to listen to. The Texas Icemaggedon scared me. One of those days my home was power-free for 8 hours. But we made it. Meagan Good & Devon Franklin are divorcing. And while the "sexed" decide not to have the empathy for the "sexless" that they want to receive themselves, I will still believe, "If I am grown enough to do so, I'm adult enough not to do so". Know folks' stories before you wag fingers. And I give the "sexless" the same advice. Oh, and I didn't get on here and tell y'all "Couples Goals are a Scam". But if one more of you guys faves do something else to break y'all heart, I Will!!! Because somebody should.

I had to wrap 2021 more positively. I entered the year knowing the previous was going to linger over for a little while. I underestimated the timing by a whole year. I can admit that. But God Kept Us!!! One day the world will be well again. Until then, I'll keep making & fulfilling wanted & needed plans. I'll strive to read to my heart's content. And I plan to come here to yap about whatever moves me to do so. And you will or won't enjoy it. And that's that. Alright 2021, Alright!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Humorous Holidays

I mean for you say I am "Hard to Shop For", there is my list. Matthew 7:7 told me what to do. So, I did it! LoL

Many always talk about the joy, love, & wonder of this time of the year. And though this is not my favorite holiday season (It's Easter), I love the humor that pops up. 

It starts in November for me. Since I am one of those who are determined to celebrate Christmas after Thanksgiving Day, I feel the need to be snarky towards those who must play Yuletide tunes too early. I don't understand why we can't take time to be at least grateful for the Christ child & what his father, the comforter sent to us, and he does for us for a month. (Yeah Woke Folks, That's why I celebrate Thanksgiving) It's Wild! But while I'm being snarky along comes to these business geniuses with their "Need a Holi-Date" ads. I love those ads. They crack me up. And I won't lie, I jokingly considered entering that field just to see the response I would get. Then Covid-19 forcefully came to life and I decided to enjoy other's promos in my Coronavirus safe home.

I do want to know has anyone taken these seriously. I am nosey like that.

Then Thanksgiving is over and I allow Christmas time into my space. Joking memes about this time of year help make the season bright. Especially those things that are nostalgic. We know sometimes we feel "Bah Humbug" grumpy. I think it's almost required once in life.

But feeling like cracking up like Clark Griswold in National Lampoon Christmas Vacation is a level of adulting nobody prepares us for. Truthfully, I don't think they know to tell us. But I know I've been there. One way to calm me down is the holiday tunes. As soon as I hear melodious voices of The Temptations' version of Silent Night or Donny Hathaway sing This Christmas (the Original & the Best) and other songs that soothe any holiday angst I have. But to see memes about them tell me somebody else has likewise good tastes in Yuletide music. These are my holiday people.

Oh, and there are us who even jokes about what we want for gifts via humor. Y'all think I am rapping if I say I want 

12 hundred dollars

11 pairs of shoes

10 fingernails

9 packs of weaves

8 male strippers

7 bus passes

6 diamond rings

5 months free rent

4 bangles

3 pocketbooks

2 earrings

And a man with a lot of money

I think K-Nock had a timeless list in the song What You Want For Christmas by Quad City DJs. And I would like those things. But when I make a meme about my wants like the top picture, folks want to be interested. Maybe one day I will receive one of these things. I just know I miss making list but I know what catches people's eye.

And the humor doesn't stop because we take the lights, mistletoe, & trees down. Others might be New Year, New Me. I'm the Same Me because I have a chuckle or two you might need.

Especially the churchy folks like me. NYE & First Sundays of the year we are ready to the cliché saying that will be believed every day before Martin Luther King Day, I mean All Year. (Yes, Laugh) Remember, "1999, God's Going to Blow Your Mind. *refreshing sigh* Nothing like the Good Ol' Days. I can't wait.

Good humor knows what it is doing. It's one of the gifts that keep on giving. I rather focus on that than the troubles of the world. Have a Happy Holidays, guys. Go Laugh!😁

As Always Talking to You in Adults Terms!