Define Single & Go On With Your Life

I always say any sociologist and psychologist worth their research should study social media at least 3 days of the week. That's where I found this gem that made my wheels of my mind turn. Thank you T.T a*k*a June Bestie a*k*a ShadeTina for posting this.

Everybody has their definition of being single. I believe marriage is 100/100, so I am single until I am married. I can be Single & Dating and Single in a Committed Dating Relationship. Engagement is two single people with intentions to be married.

Each stage requires increasing percentages of myself. No relationship stage has set percentages needed for advancement but I do know 100% of me is required for marriage. That's my definition. And researchers, I will want my credit

That's why I chuckled hard at this meme. Yes, mind your business while folks are holding interviews. Or as I say in Offline Land, "See stuff and shut up". Datable candidates & mates don't fall out the sky. Truth be told there is no dating measurement stick. Nobody on the dating field moves the same. And unless cheating or lies are involved, all moves are legal. Heck, that's why the interview process exist. We're just checking out how a potential move around the dating space.

*sigh* I think you guy's memes prove why I'm single. Oh Well!!!

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

Talk About Hubba Hubba

Ever see a meme that makes your spirit loudly say, "Oh My Gosh". I honestly think I had a moment when I saw this one. I might need a cool drink of water. *blushing*

Understand is a verb that means to perceive the intended meaning of words, a language, or speaker. Understood is its past tense form. But it's present tense form, Understanding can also be a noun & adjective. As a noun, it means the ability to understand something and as an adjective, it means sympathetically aware of other people's feelings.

In a world where Nene Leake's quote runs rampant, doesn't it feel good when someone shows their "ability to be sympathetically aware of how you feel"? It does to me. My friend, who's blog name will be, Houston lives be a quote I love, "Learn to Listen, Listen to Learn".

It upsets me when I say to anyone, that they aren't listening and they quip back, "I Hear You". People can hear you and not absorb anything you said. But when a person listens to you, they are learning about who you are. Oh, and what is the definition of learning? To become aware of something by information or from observation is learning. So, to be understood means that person is learning about you and they are listening. Doesn't that feel so good?

Don't believe what I'm saying. Go argue with your boo and watch how unattractive they are during and afterward.

I think I'm going to cuddle with that meme. It's Sexy!!!

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

Dry Face Open (Answering Questions)

You ask and I answer. It's that simple. The same person had questions, so I'll answer them in the same post.

Q: Glad you like Kelli, now. And with that said, Do you think Dro & Candice on Insecure are in an open marriage?

A: That's another topic talk about on the HBO show, Insecure that I see differently. Yes, I believe Candice & Dro are in an open marriage. I don't think Candice knows about Molly. Friends of the couple may be a no-no for them. Molly is Dro's friend and it's easy for Dro to hide a sexual rapport behind friendship & hanging out.

FYI:
This is another reason why I am an opponent of any open relationships (swinging, multi-partner relationships, hybrid relationships, or polyamorous relationships). Too many possible rules or outcomes. One Rule to Monogamy = No Cheating = You & I Only

Q: You canceled the Skin & Makeup series before I could ask about a No-Makeup look. What products do you use for one?

A: No makeup means No makeup for me. Sorry, I don't have a No-Makeup makeup look. I don't understand their purpose. I am make-up free aka dry face most days. But when I wear makeup, others know I have on makeup. My best advice and what I actually do is look up makeup Youtubers that have your same skin type & tone. Many beauty influencers have some type of No-Makeup look video.

Got a question, send it to me at C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com. It will be answered.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!

Let Me Talk About Kelli From Insecure

If you don't watch or are behind on the HBO show, Insecure, why are you here?

It's not a secret in Offline Land that I didn't start off as a fan of the character Kelli from Insecure. Oh yeah, welcome to the Uber Woke, Plus Size Edition part of my mind. I have major problems with fat girl tropes in Entertainment,

• Low Confidence
• Jolly & Comedic
• Extremely Mean
• Boisterous
• Loud
• Non-Dating Sidekick
• Oversexualized/Under-sexualized

and Kelli was hitting several of those points when we met her in Season 1. I was having a hard time discussing the show with others because they were enjoying her in this one dimensional form. I couldn't get passed that we were only seeing her funny sarcasm & high intellect in sex in the show.

Then we heard her mention a podcast and saw her attempt a marathon in Season 2 and it seemed like the writers(with one being the lady who plays Kelli, Natasha Rothwell) wanted to give us more insight into Kelli's world.

I know Kelli is not an A character for the show, but we needed more story points from her. She has a nice job on accounting. Kelli has ties in the housing market. She's not oversexed but owns her sexuality. She seems to now be Ms. Crunch Numbers by Day & Madame Turn Up by Night.

And she has other emotions that don't involve comedic happiness. I wanted to hug her after the baby shower. Now, can we find out why Amal & she do not like one another? And I wonder should we be waiting on a chance to hear an episode of her podcast. It's like seeing her with her hair up was a good added level.

Glad, they're pulling back the layers of Kelli. Now to uncover why is Tiffany so bougie. And hoping it doesn't have a long stereotypical history in classism and colorism. Shallow is rarely memorable. Every character should get some levels of depth. You know something to fall for.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Only Good For...

Dear Black Pro-Life Coalition & Afiya Group,

"Abortion is Self-Care" is debatable to me. I will say I understand what you were trying to say. But I do agree with the statement, "Abortion is not healthcare." I am speaking to the battling billboards you both have that are discussed HERE

Oh but your billboards are still extremely tone deaf. You are arguing about what is wise for the reproductive & emotional health of Black women in Dallas via abortion. Abortions are not the Only thing Black women do. If you want to argue what is self-care & healthcare, where are the billboards to encourage regular well-woman check-ups for Black women?

Where are the billboards to take a flu shot in Oak Cliff? Where are the billboards to promote the self-care tips to sleep more & drink more water in Plesant Grove? Where are your billboards that encourage healthy mental health for Black women?

Your messages are clear. And it is very damaging to Black women. Only focusing on whether Black women should have abortions is Not healthy for Black women. Both of your messages encourage stigma & shame because, in the heart of two areas of Dallas where Black women live, the medical advice you care about is abortion. Just like the only beverages, Black people drank in the 90s was malt liquor. Oh, the billboard messaging of yore...

*sigh*

Well, this Black woman chooses to ignore you both. That is my self-care option for me to be mentally healthy. Because mental care is health care, also. And choosing not to let sneaky poisonous billboards dictate my self-worth is the best therapy for me.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

Nice & Creamy (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

I like finding healthier alternatives to fatty treats like Nice Cream. Nice cream is a frozen dessert without dairy, eggs, or sugar in ice cream. I am a big fan of ice cream, but I am not a fan of bananas and anything that taste like its flavor. Bananas are too sweet for my taste buds. But they are a good cream alternative. There are tons of recipes that use them. Most nice creams aka ice cream alternatives rely on them a lot. I knew that 

• Mango
• Papaya
• Pear
• Chia Seeds
• Fresh Dates
• Nut Butters
• Unsweetened Applesauce
• Avocado

were good substitutes for bananas in smoothies but I didn't know if they translated well as nice cream. So, I was so happy to run across this 55 calories, Eating Well recipe on Facebook. It is banana-free & very easy. And of course, I brought my buddies at Diet Solutions (Facebook page is HERE) along for this taste bud ride.

Mango-Pineapple Nice Cream
Ingredients

• 1 16-ounce package frozen pineapple chunks 
• 1 cup frozen mango chunks or 1 large mango, peeled, seeded and chopped
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice or lime juice

Directions

1. Process pineapple, mango and lemon (or lime) juice in a food processor until smooth and creamy. (If using frozen mango, you may have to add up to ¼ cup water.) For the best texture, serve immediately.

This nice cream is very good. I thought it was going to be more like a sorbet, but it is a little creamier. It is refreshing & light, also. Now, I want to try peach nice cream. Peach is the only fruit flavor ice cream I like, so that should be interesting to try. 

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms.

Maybe I Should Have Became...

*sigh*...a School Nurse. Nursing was my first major in college if you didn't know that already. Clearly, I couldn't educate any worse. I see the foolishness on the internet and I almost went back to school. And I have a feeling these mindsets and practices aren't new. Now because of social media, we see them publicly discussed.

I know when I was in school, Don't reuse a condom was said. But when the CDC has to tweet this factual advice, it must not have been said everywhere. It is a signal to me that reuse is more common than I could ever think to realize. We see there are still new HIV and AIDS cases rising. And we see there are drug-resistant versions of curable STDs mutating. I personally thought about the lack of use, not the misuse. And the misuse can be blamed on two factors in my mind, cheapness & laziness. And with a pack of 3 condoms being less than $2...you know what I'm going to make a meme.

I will say when I saw this after sex meme on a timeline, the person posting it was admonishing it. They saw it as disturbing as I saw it. For ladies, urinating after sex may feel slimy. But that is not how or when the egg is released from the body. Menstruation is the regular discharge of blood and mucosal tissue(known as menses aka the material the egg clings to in the uterus) from the inner lining of the uterus through the vagina. Let's use common sense. If a monthly egg is sticking to the menses when they are shed, the egg falls also. But I will say that according to this incorrect meme's depiction coupled with menstruation, menopause should occur in women sooner. But sadly that's not how it works. That's not how any of this works.

Oh, I'm sorry to the squeamish & prudish, I didn't type a warning. But I wanted everyone to read this. Humans can't afford to be stupid, dumb, & half-witted all the time. We have to smarter than we are. Our future depends on it.

Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!