Monday, June 27, 2016

Relax, It's Just Hair!!! (Another Relaxer Stretch)

What? I have relaxed hair and I want it longer. So, I'm on a journey. But you know this already. Well, I hit a bump in the road last December. Last Fall, I got sick and my hormones went a little wacky. Then I also burned my hair trying to keep it straight. I mean I only flat ironing once a week but I was passing the flat iron & electric comb through at least 4 times for every section.
So, I had to wack my hair to my bottom of my ears to rid the damage I cause. So, it was side part unders & roller sets for a while. Those are my boring I mean classic go-to styles for my hair. But I didn't stay classic for a long. I saw a lady at church with this pretty twist out. I gave her a compliment and she told me it was a crochet weave. My reaction caused her to say, "Yeah, crochets are so different than the 90s. I found this one on YouTube". I thought Crochet Braids in the 90s were Cheesy. They just looked fake and plastic. They were like a failed microbraid dupe. And apparently those who wore them regretted them because I took me some time to find somebody (I didn't know *wink*) on the internet with them. I finally found one.
Since I am talking crap about her hair choices, I cropped her face
So, off to Youtube I went. The possibilities were endless.
Then I was talking about it on Facebook and my cousin, Clois said she'll do mine. And in February, I got a crochet weave. Fun Fact: I hadn't had "professional braids of any kind since 2003. And for six weeks I kept my hands off my hair. It needed a break from me. I loved the style. I got so many compliments. The only drawback is this particular style is for the cold. And guess what it really didn't do this winter? Yep, it didn't get very cold. So after two or three weeks, I had to started pulling some of the curls up.

And by the last week. I had pulled it all up into. My hair grew quite bit. I could have relaxed my hair after I took the braids out but I decided to stay on schedule and waited two more months. And I am happy to say I got my length back to it's original fighting length.
It's so humid outside

Yeah, I played with chopping it off and going my to a short bob but I am happy to see this length. My ponytail is a decent size now. Plus, the shorter the hair, the less time I get to sleep longer. I can brush my teeth and take rollers out or unwrap my hair at the same time. So, I just got it wrapped. It's easier to manipulate into a classic side part under or a flip than if I had a curlier style.

And when I your birthday event rolls around and your hair is dirty,
It is easy to style into this French Braid style. It's is a variation of a style I saw on a relaxed hair vlogger, AllofDestiny's Youtube channel. The video is below. Check it out. A Facebook page I follow (Heck I follow them on Twitter & Instagram too) called Celebrate Relaxed Hair posted her picture and I had to know what she did.


It is a very easy style. I just French braided my hair on both sides and added my handy dandy bun piece. I added some hoop earrings and I was ready for the shindig. I got a some compliments on this style. So, it a Keeper!!! Oh and be prepared to see this hairstyle in a later post even though my hair will be clean.




So, that's it for this Relaxer Stretch update.
Hey, we all have setbacks of some kind in life. Next time along with a length check, I plan to have tried what I think will be a more temperature friendly crochet weave style. There are some very cute styles out there and I plan to try them out towards the last six weeks of my stretches. Any safe way I can keep my hands out of my head, is good for me.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Saturday, June 25, 2016

The Audience at Life's Performances.

Life is a theater so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives.
Some people in your life need to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships, and family!
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around!
Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life.

Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW


Even though I celebrate my birthday all month long, my official events with my June Birthday Bestie, T.T. have come to a close. Every year within the past 6 years maybe, I am reminded of this poem above, which was emailed to me years ago. Growing up, I celebrated my birthdays traveling a lot. My birthday would usually fall during the week of the National Baptist Sunday School & Baptist Training Union (BTU) Congress. I was an attendee, for some of those years. One year, we were traveling back home from Los Angeles and at midnight, a charter bus full of church members broke out into a round of "Happy Birthday". I think that was my 13th birthday. In my twenties, people would be nice and throw me dinner or a party but invariably somebody would be upset by the end of the event. And even though my loved ones meant well, by age 27, I refused for anyone else to plan an event ever again.

As I get older I realize all the people that cause the major issues at 20s events are people that are not in my life now. As I get older, life has changed for me so, I know it has changed for other people. Sometimes the people at Act 5 of Life's performance are not around for Act 10.
Some left because you are not their type of play. Some acted up and the ushers had to escort them out of the Life Theater. This goes for the people on the Front Row to Last Row.

My birthday is not limited to Front Row people but they are the people I think of first. Over the years, that front row has changed. I remember one birthday, only two Front Row people were celebrating in person with me (It was a Monday). That was 8 years ago.
One is no longer a front-row person. She's not watching my performance anymore. I realized that I was not her type of theatrical work and she was not mine. Probably like the poem says, I should have observed some things earlier and switched that seat some time ago.

But That's Life!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Monday, June 20, 2016

My Underrated Black Music Artist List (It's Black Music Month)


Yep, it is Black Music Month! To commemorate I decided to make two opinionated list. The Underrated music artists.

Now, let me define Underrated.The artists that pop culture just plays with and never give them shine. Some of you guys see them but because you have to move from the machine that tells you what is cool, sometime you ignore them. Oh, the video on top? That's just my latest overplayed song on my playlist. It is called
Purse First" by Bob the Drag Queen. He won this past season on RuPaul's Drag Race. He's black. And I am a fan.
My grandfather told me a story of a church musician that really challenged them to sing. Her complaint was, "All y'all wanna do is pat your a-word and holler". Isn't that what go goes for today's music. Well, 'Purse First" does that to me so, Enjoy!!!

5. Kem  I can't explain why he is underrated. He has a nice voice and his music seems very universal. I love" I Can't Stop Loving You" & "Share My Life". It was weird when I heard him more as a ringtone on my sister's phone than I did on the radio. Now, I am feeling him as a feature on Gregory Porter's song Hold On.

4. Tweet This past week she was the topic of this week's Being. I missed it because I was out but everyone I asked about was so eager to talk about who she is currently dating. Umm excuse my gossip craze, she has a new album out called Charlene. And Won't Hurt Me is great. So many (included me) have said, we wished Tweet come out with one more good album. Tweet is good. I knew it when I heard her harmonize some lyrics in "Motel".
♫Go to hell baby
Cause I know I saw you go into a motel♫
OMG, I was a fan. Now, she has a new album. ♫Do whatever you feel you gotta do it♫ but stop sleeping on Tweet.

3. Raheem Devaughn Y'all are funny. He sings the perfect balance of sex & love. He had song called "BOB" (Battery Operated Boyfriend) on an album. He even had a real raunchy video to the song, "Single" come out a few years ago. Even K. Michelle put you guys onto When You Love Someone and thought y'all loved her whatever popular reality show she is on. Maybe he's going to ditch the love stuff, smack the "Customer" on her butt while she is a BOB. But then I won't like her. Don't change Raheem, never mind.

2. Corinne Bailey Rae All music can't make you feel good. I feel like that church musician for earlier, Yes, I a fan from the start with "Put Your Records On". My rollers sets were called The Corinne Bailey Rae at that time.
I loved that she melodically sung her pain in "Do It All Again". Her husband had just die and I understood. While she telling people even though all this happening, she is still not giving up on love, folks were complaining that it was to dark. *sigh*  Rae went away and while the masses are sipping Lemonade, she is dropping music. Have you seen Green Aphrodisiac? No, you haven't because nobody is wondering why she is wearing or holding a gold marijuana plant. I have and I have questions. I think the song is about being high on life.

1. Lalah Hathaway Let this woman win another Grammy in ceremonies earlier than the live show and I will scream. I know "But she has the awards". Lalah Hathaway should be winning the awards that are seen by the masses. Y'all know my favorite singer is Twinkie Clark. Lalah Hathaway is next. Her song is pure & innovative. Y'all know I love that in an artists. I have been a fan of her since the 90's when, she came out with Baby Don't Cry. Back when she snapped her fingers & did the side to side step the whole video. Her voice is hear in some many genres from Gospel to Jazz. Have you heard her version of "Ultimate Relationship". You will cry out "My God". Lalah's voice should be heard on not just Adult Contemporary radio but Pop radio. Mirror is out, now. I wish the masses would stop hiding their ears, so they could hear her.

If I could have honorable mentions, it would be Luke James & Michelle Williams. 

So, this is my list of the Top 5 Underrated Black Music Artists that I Love. I hope you guys go listen to them, if you don't already. Who's on your list? Leave then in the comments below.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms


Friday, June 17, 2016

A Blog Highlight!!!

This probably a 1st because I never made a post about pubbing a blog. I follow so many but this one is different.

Birthday Indulgence!
Chicken with Spinach & Carrots
Pinot Grigio sauce over Pasta
Roma tomatoes
Yesterday, was my birthday. Celebrated it in a Very adult responsible style (work, housework, cooking, lurking #BlackGuyNerds on Twitter). My Grandmother & mother gave me gifts. It was very nice and quaint birthday, so far. I had Birthday brunch & cake, Sunday and have two more events later. Then today, I got so very happy news.
So my friend, Pink Red started her own blog. And her introductory post included her telling me, I was the inspiration. I had no clue. I know she reads my posts. She's commented on a few of them. And am honored to be an inspiration. Guess that's what being yourself get you.

Well to tell her Thank You, I am "pubbing" her blog. She's just getting started with her introduction but I believe in her. If you think I am real, Pink Red or as she calls herself, ItzMeAllDay is going to be Real. I don't have Fake friends. So, go check her out at Random Babblings (if that link doesn't work here is the URL, http://randombabblingsofme.blogspot.com/) and support her.

Oh, her name will still be Pink Red on here. I worked hard to think of that name. That's a thesaurus researched name, LoL Check her out.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Answering My FAQs

So, I am heading into my 5th blogiversary and before year 4 ends I decided to answer my Frequently Asked Questions, in one post.

Will You Ever Reveal Your "Real" Name?
If you follow me on Twitter, I actually did last Thanksgiving (2015). I thought since I was grateful for being me, change your username for the day. So, I did. LoL There are only two ways I will state my biological name outside of  anything connected to offline land & Facebook. 1.When I passed away from this world & enter New Life, and if I still have a blog. a post will be released to say I, biological name aka OUTSPOKEN_DIVA has passed away. Dang, I guess I better write that post or at least put a note in my prayer diary for my loved ones to type one. 2. If/When I write my memoir, there will be an OUTSPOKEN_DIVA chapter. Oh and to the petty, messy jerk reading this that knows my bio name and wants to reveal before I do...
Speak in languages folks understand!

A Memoir, You Would Write Life Story?
Yeah, I really would if I have the opportunity(given or created by me). I even have a title. No, I will not tell you. This is the internet.

Why Do You Say "Biological Name"?
News Flash!!! I am a bit of a snob. Biological Name means the name that was given to me at birth. "Government Name" doesn't pertain to me. My dad named me not Uncle Sam. "Real Name" means that OUTSPOKEN_DIVA is not my real blog name.

How Big Are Your Breasts?
People who email me this question are usually trolls. BUT  if you are not my Lord or my husband & you wanted to know this answer go to this post right HERE. 

What Won't You Talk About?
Oh that is an easy question with many answers here are some:

  • I will Never reveal anyone I know in offline land biological name.
  • I will Never tease, make fun or be overly critical someone because of their religion, sexuality, gender, race or creed.
  • I will Never make a cruel post.
  • I will Never endorsement a political candidate. I don't care who you vote for just vote.
  • I will Never play pranks on here.
  • I will Never rate or review porn or sex toys of any kind.
  • I will Never post Nudity.

Does that answer that question?

Will You Ever Vlog?
I toy with that idea but my answer will be Not Today

So, now I have a question for you. Do you want me to another answer questions post? If so, Send me question to me email C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@GMAIL.COM or as I always say, put them in the Comment sections

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Monday, June 6, 2016

Pop Culture's Misuse of Words: Female

Very Smart Brothas & Buzzfeed and others have brilliantly covered this subject (click the the names to read the articles. I've shared & re-posted them.
But I guess no one was reading these articles because the misused of Female keep being disgustingly increased by more & more people. So, now you have to read a blog post based on my know-it-all chatter.

So here are some definitions (And we thank Google):
Female: of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes

Woman: the female human being, as distinguished from a girl or a man.

Girl: a female child from birth to adulthood

Lady: a woman (used as a polite or old-fashioned form of reference)

Male: of or denoting the sex that produces small, typically motile gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring

Man: an adult human male or a human being of either sex; a person

Boy: a male child from birth to adulthood

Gentleman: a polite or formal way of referring to a man


People referring to woman as just female is not a new phenomenon to me. I grew up hearing numerous butt hurt, cynical men loitering around various stores, riding public transportation or loudly talking in barbershop or coed salons saying, "These females", "Females can", etc. It went along with all the other disrespectful activities including street harassment that they engaged in.
But now since that behavior is now a part of accepted pop culture (What's Cool), it is strangely easing into everyday conversation in the misuse of female is growing. About 4-5 years ago, I had to have this discussion with Alura, my niece. She was in high school and that was how she talked about girls she didn't like. She's grown age (18-20), now and she curbs the word around me most times but she still says it. Yes, I have hope in her. But the moment that made me type this post happened this past weekend. The star of a web show I really like, referred to the woman that he is in a committed relationship with as his female.Yes, he said "I Am Loyal to My Female". Previously in the interview discussion, the male co-host and he were already misusing female in their opinions about certain behaviors of women. But when he called the woman he’s dating that term, my mental brakes engaged. I almost reached through my phone to clamp his lips. Now, to my calming, his co-star, who is a woman verbally nudged him into saying lady or girlfriend. And he did.

Dear Future Boyfriend(s) and/or Husband,
Take heed! You get one time to refer to me as “My Female” or “The Female I am Dating or Married to” & I know about it. I’ll correct you once. The next time, be ready to verbal spar.

When you refer to a woman no matter how she is behaving to just a female, you have just reduced her to her biological reproductive parts. You don’t think crap about her but not confuse this person’s gender, her sex is her description. As if that woman doesn't have a heart or brain.
In the Buzzfeed article, the author makes a point. "Because nobody casually refers to men as males." What if men were talk about, mentioned based on having penis, scrotum, & testicle? That is what not only using female as the adjective (descriptive word) it says. Female can describe a human, an animal, or a plant. The proper (non-slang) definition of bitch is female dog. When alluding to a woman as just female, you may as well call her a bitch. Some of you all are using that word not to call a woman the slang version of that word anyway. So, recognize the negative take on this word.

I’m not trying to hit anyone of the head with respectability politic. I speak slang. I’ve also had screwy opinions about life that have changed. This is just my know-it-all opinion on how it makes many of us feel. Again I’ve basically heard the “female” used negatively my whole life. It is basically used to complain or disagree with the actions of a woman. When have you ever heard “These females can cook up a storm” or “Females are taking over that company”?
Record it when you do and send that to me. It’s like the attitude is Female are bad but Women are good. Make That Stop, now. Think about who all you are actually talking about when you use the word female. You are not talking about who you disagree with, but also who you agree with also. Oh and ladies if you use the term, you are included yourself, too

So, put some respect & respeck on Female. LoL It’s the disrespectful tone that is hurting us. It hurt us when it was just used in the streets. It is hurting us more since it didn’t die there. And until we stop inflicting pain on each other, I am Not finished, I am Not done.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms