Well Duh! Black Girl Nation Has Always Known How EVERYONE Feels About Them

Guess What?

A study reports Black Girls are thought not to be as innocent that White girls. These female children are thought to be more adult-like.

Oh, you don't believe me. Read it HERE on the Associated Press or The Root website, HERE.

Now, before we wave fingers at one particular race, wiggle the three pointing back at you. Yes, black bodies because of their curves have been sexualized since slave traders laid eyes on us in the mother land.

And as early as 8 years old, slave children are taught to start working their jobs on the plantations, during slavery time. Many of us have older relatives who only have 3rd grade or 8th grade educations, because they went to work to be maids & wash womem. We know that. But in the 21th century let's look at some of these mindsets are still being perpetuated. Then personally count how many are you guilty of having.

1. Young girl is gang raped in an alley at 3am and the questions are asked, "Why was she out"? Where is her family"? "Who are the adults in her life"? Then you Might hear, "How is she"?

2. Young girl gets her hair done at a beauty salon. "I bet she is learning how to gossip already". "I don't let my little girl get her hair done. Ponytails & braids are all she need".

3. Girl is molested by her father, grandpa, uncle, cousin, neighbor, pastor, or deacon. "That's what she get for sitting in his lap". "Told her mom about buying all those short shorts & dresses".

4. Ever heard a young girl been described as "Being grown" or "Being fast" just for being a smart aleck kid.

I lived life with 2 & 4 looming in my life. My mother has had arthritis since she was 21. I was born 10 years later & it was more painful by then. Unless you have been in a salon with children in them, you don't know what happens. What I learned was adults as very crafty in using code words or talked a lot about T.V. in front of kids. If an adult did talk randy in front of kids, they were corrected. I learned how to have adult discussions in front of kids, now that I am an adult. Because in the salon I patronize, the conversation around kids is still censor around children. And I always left the salon with age appropriate hairstyles.

And yeah, no matter how Cindy Brady talked to Alice, I was "Too Grown" for doing the same. Most kids are smart mouths. Yet, if a little black girl talks smart, she is treading down a path of neck twirling & finger waving for her future.

I'll slap anyone who is shocked about this study report. Reactions to the R. Kelly tape & trial & Amber Alerts for little black girl tell us this report is true.

Oh yeah, "R. Kelly did it" left many mouths but those lips slandered that child also. There is actually an Amber Alert in DFW for a black girl as I type this post. I cringe to look at the comments suggesting she's an over-sexed runaway and not a kidnapped victim. Because we, the Black Girl Nation are not thought to be victims.

Black Girl Nation, Let Our Innocence Burn Bright!!! No One Else May Want to See it, But We Still Shine!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

Dang It! We're Really All Human!!!

So, this week I've been teaching fruit & vegetable recipes at a church daycamp(summer-long Vacation Bible School). It's a week long assignment. The kids seem to be having a good time. First day, I did have a teenager ask about "manna from on high" recipes. Yeah, I told him to go sit down. Nobody has cut or burned anyone. Outside of my project, they are learning about sharing & gratitude. I would like to do it again. But I won't fib, the road to this week had been tad trying to my little feelings.

Before this week, I wanted to say don't meet those your professional inspirations. Also on this assignment is a dietitian & podcaster that I really liked. She's curvy in a stereotypical skinny-fit industry. I met her earlier this year and my fandom was bruised. It was obvious, she thought I was some dumb church lady that was just over the kitchen ministry. I guess because I am actually on first name basis with one of the pastors & she met me taking inventory of the church's pantry of snacks. 

Since I was the project lead, I decided to do what I was suppose to do and forge ahead. Well, I was started to rant about her on Twitter. One tweet & another podcaster thought I was talking something else, so I decided against that. The petty rant wasn't worth it.

Now, I just feel like who we fan are human, too. She saw my recipes and daily plans of action and said she was humbled. She came into this assignment thinking she was the only professional in it. No one told her she was, she just assumed. I sarcastically asked her did she want me to remind her about assuming to break the moment. She laughed and we've worked peacefully & professionally ever since.

I'm glad I kept my wits about my myself this time. Maybe my "hurt" helped me work hard. I'm just glad it all worked out. As a child, I saw many tense adult issues ruin programs for kids. Kids didn't need to suffer because my feelings got bruised.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Top 5 Gospel Choirs (Black Music Month)

Did you really think ol' churchy OUTSPOKEN_DIVA was going to let Black Music Month pass and not mention her favorite genre, Gospel Music? LoL Yeah, that's not going to happen. If I had a favorite sub-genre of Gospel music it would be Choir Music. Who doesn't like it when the choir sings at church? I know people who attend more traditional churches, that dislike getting to church earlier than when the choir. The choir at the church I attend sings first, so they would have to be on time. Choir music is fun & passionate. It tells a story through many voices at one time.

I was in the church choir as a little girl. And was a member of a teen mass choir in my early teen years. I can't sing but that was the popular thing for the youth to do at the foundation (aka church I grew up in) church. Plus, all the "hot" guys were going to be at City Wide Youth for Christ and they didn't noticed ushers (might as well had ushered). But even with my carnal reasons, I still loved listening to Choirs. I have a few All-Time favorites. Most of them don't have current stuff out but many of their songs are still enjoyed like they were.

5. T. D. Jakes & the Potter's House Mass Choir: I used to wonder if church's with recording choirs sing their songs at their church. Then I walk into my current church for the first time, NYE 2004 and got my answer. They started singing The Devil's Already Defeated. I think the only person who didn't know the words was Football Nerd. I know, how do you suggest a church to attend & don't know their music? Bless His Heart! And yes, I made him a CD & he learned their songs before he left this world. But that is not my favorite song of theirs. I am a grining sister when Let's Just Praise the Lord comes on. People around me don't understand. It takes me back to when my friends & I rocked the first album all the time. We really would learn and sing "Let Just Praised the Lord" in all the different languages. It was a rare & happy time when my nerdy & churchy sides played well together with others. Ahhh, the good old 90s.

4. Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir: When I saw them sing the Battle Hymn of Republic at President Obama's 2nd inauguration, I was so proud. I don't remember not listening to this choir. My grandmother was fan because they sing with "nice diction". She is a stickler for that. And I get it. Listen More Than Enough, You will clearly understand that all the blessings we are given are More Than Enough for us.

3. Mississippi Mass Choir: Before the community "woke" up, I was hoping wishing and praying, Mississippi Mass would get to perform the national anthem for the Super Bowl.

But thanks to Colin Kapernick & his brave protest, I doubt it will happen. I can nobody want ing the backlash chatter. I feel about Mississippi Mass like I do Beyonce. I'm not a member of the Beyhive but I have some songs I really love As a Gospel fan, I have a few favorites from this choir. My favorites are Having You There, I Won't Turn Back, Near the Cross, & Yes.

2. Rev. Milton Brunson & The Thompson Community Singers: The one year, I decided to usher for the City Wide Youth for Christ musical, the choir sung this fun number It's Gonna Rain by Milton Brunson & The Thompson Community Singers. The vamp is the chorus to Fire by the Ohio Players. The musical went wild.

Milton Brunson & The Thompson Community Singers have timeless classic. We loved knowing we are  Safe in His Arms. Oh and the moment when I Tried Him and I Know Him becomes a real sentence in your life after hearing this song. I remember the tears falling. And shout out to Ricky Dillard & New G for the revial of There is No Way. The internet said it originally came out in the early 80s. That has to be the truth because I don't remember when it was the "new" song.

1. Rev. Ernest Davis' Wilmington Chester Mass Choir: When Lucresia Campbell passed away last year, I went straight to a playlist of all Rev. Ernest Davis' Wilmington Chester Mass Choir songs. She lead many songs with them. She had a soprano voice with a very high range. If her voice doesn't help you want to work on your patience after hearing Stand Still, Lord help you. This choir was a very well balanced choir, in my opinion. It was one of the few choirs my whole household listened to together. That is not a easy feat. This choir had some songs taken directly from the scriptures. Go listen to Isaiah 43(Fear Not) and crack open that Bible. I know...Whoa!!! They also sang hymns & anthems and grandparents approved. They loved to hear them sing Ride on King Jesus. Wilmington Chester Mass also had fun songs. What is a fun gospel choir song? If the tenor section has the best section of the song, that is a fun song to me. My favorites are Nothing But the Blood & the popular & beloved Take It Away. Who can't get hype at the tenors hitting a high note while singing, "Take it away from meee, Lord". Like I said well rounded.

Honorable Mentions go to the current Gospel choirs, that are making the hits now like,
Enon Tabernacle
Charles Butler & Trinity
J.J. Hariston & Youthful Praise
Azusa, The Next Generation

Felicity, my church girl personality has been having a Halleujah good time looking up these song & reliving memories. She wants to know, who are your favorite choirs? I told her you guys are not going to leave comments below. Who are you going to prove right? Let's find out in the comments.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Top 5 Songs on Web Series (Black Music Month)

Warning: Some of the music contains profane language. Now, you were told!

What is a good show or film with a good soundtrack? And you guys know I am a web series junkie. I've talked about my love of them on here a lot. They are pure, unblemished stories. And those stories have songs that aid in their storytelling. Some have songs that are so recognizable, they could be listed as characters.

For example, any true Awkward Black Girl fans know "Booty Shawts" as soon as the beat drops. It's a simple tune about confidence & short shorts. And in the show, J loves that song. And like web series, their soundtracks are a part of the indie music world. These are not tunes on your radio. I think I heard one of these below on a Lifetime movie. So, I get to enjoy them when I want without hearing them on the hour.

5. Esnavi - MORNING DEW
(Roomie Lover Friends & Hello Cupid)
I think I have said, in love, I believe in 100/100, before. This song is a perfect testament of a bright & shining heart receiving their counterpart, another light. I call that Whole Love. *wink*

4. Ayiro & Richard Wright - Fuck & Go
(That Guy)
Mr. Stress Reliever is what I call these kinds of guys. He'll pound it out and let you leave it all on the sheets. I, first heard this song on the show's compilation, I received it, I laughed & blushed. It was so honest. No Emotions! No Heart Strings! Just some solace for tension.

3. Teamarrr - In My Mind

(Giants)
Yeah, I have active thoughts, too. I've fed my family all while talking about comic books. I've approach a handsome man & kissed him instead of blushing to death at a lounge. And all the ideas for my memoirs that sprint through are endless. In My Mind, Too!!!

2. Jaspects - Find My Way To Love (ft. Chantae Cann)

(First)
This is the most popular song on this list. It's the one I also heard in a Lifetime movie called, Back to School Mom. *sigh* Everyone we encounter is not our romantic forever. Some are to be platonic. Some will be more affectionate in nature. But they all keep the learning process to love, interesting. Hope you're taking notes.

1. DAJ - Altercall

(Sexless & Chef Julian)
I first heard a brief portion of this song during a "sensual" massage scene on Chef Julian. I found it online and my mind wandered. Could this song possibly be thought of as a Sacred song?

Here are the lyrics.

Surrender my all to you

Take me, I'm ready

Take me, I'm ready

I give my all to you

I'm ready

The beauty of its possibility is why I love listening to it.

Ok, if you're interested in other web series tunes I listen to, head over to my list on SoundCloud. It's an ever-growing list. As I hear a new one I enjoy, I add it. Hope you enjoy them as I do.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Top 10 Jazz Cuts (Black Music Month)

Confession: I planned this to be a top 5. I tried to contain myself, but I couldn't.
We didn't listen to much "the Blues growing up. We listened to mainstream Blues artists like, B.B. King. In my grandparents' home, we listened to a lot of Jazz. Jazz was the trendy music in their younger days. My grandmother thinks Billy Eckstein is the best artist ever. Eckstein is her music measuring stick. The only current singer that is on his level to her is John Legend.

My grandfather liked to dance. In his mind, he could've danced on the "Jitterbug Break" episode of The Cosby Show. His dancing looked a lot like Cliff's style. LoL And I still listen to Jazz, old & current, instrumental to vocals. Jazz has seductive power that can't be rivaled.

10. Gonna Be Alright by Robert Glasper Experiment(ft. Ledisi)
The words & melody makes me feel light & loving. There are some guys who have smiles that have turned my day around. Oh, & it was more than Ok.

9. Love Don't Love Nobody by Kim Waters (ft. Larry "Jazz" Anthony of Dru Hill) 
This was the first song I heard from Jazz, away from Dru Hill. His voice with the notes from Water's sax blends a timeless lesson, we all must learn. And it takes fool not to understand.

Big Maybelle

8. Street Life by The Crusaders
Randy Crawford leads a song written by Joe Sample & Wilton Felder. Are we shocked it became a hit?

7. My Only by Wayman Tisdale(ft. Lalah Hathaway)
Dear Future Guys I Will Date,
Like the words of Mickey from BAPS, "Don't Play Unless You Mean It". This is a perfect proposal song. Another good blend of vocals & saxophone. Wayman Tisdale was a wise man collaborating with one of my favorites.

Nancy Wilson

6. Moody's Mood for Love by James Moody
If you hate this classic, you kick puppies, also. You also take candy from children and eat it in their faces. It's the quintessential Jazz classic. James Moody said he was in the mood for love and this song is how he was going to show it.

5. Septembro by Quincy Jazz
Been in love with the "Brazilian Wedding song, since I heard it in the movie, Boyz in the Hood. My sister, A & I fight over this song. Who is going to have this song at their wedding? I'm walking down the aisle to this song. At minute 3:46, the doors will open and I will process to my one & only.

4. Candy by Big Maybelle.
I shut my "woke" mind up to enjoy this lovely ditty. I mean it is a plus-size lady boldly singing out about confections. That's how good he is to her. We all deserve a Candy. Men & Women need a treat like that.

3. Guess You're Not the One by George Duke
Fact: It takes an average of 17 months and 26 days to get over an ex. And one should play this song by my favorite Jazz musician. By the time the song gets to "Oh, I know you're not the one for me", bolt electricity hits you and you're singing out your soul. Oh also a bonus, the most of words are in the title.

Randy Crawford
&
Joe Sample

2. Guess Who I Saw Today by Nancy Wilson
When Jazz Mother Wilson leaves this world, I will have been singing this song in sackcloth and ashes. Her voice melodically tells the story of a person talking about their lunch. When you will not have lunch the same.

1. In a Sentimental Mood by Phyllis Hyman(from Sophisticated Ladies)
This is a panty dropper. I don't know if the composer, Duke Ellington thought I would call it that generations later. But when Phyllis Hyman(one of my top 5 all-time singers) sung this Sophisticated Ladies, somebody got lucky that night. Here are part of this lyrics, On the wings of every kiss, Drifts a melody so strange and sweet. People are getting high off of them smooching each other and hear music every time. In even has been featured in the movie, Love Jones and the show, Girlfriends. Your current favorite has not written or performed a song so deep, melodic, & timeline like "In a Sentimental Mood"

Honorable Mention is Roy Ayers' Everybody Loves the Sunshine. What? It's so cool, it's featured in Grand Theft Auto.

Phyllis Hyman

This list seems so unfinished. It's so many other jazz cuts I could talk about. Who did I miss? Tell me in the comments.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Arroz con Father's Day (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

Father's Day is coming up. My siblings and I are the children who honor their mother in a small way on Father's Day. We were raised by a single mother and don't see a viable use in being bitter about the fathers, who weren't in our lives. So, we celebrate her. We know social media, SoMe whines that we shouldn't, but Our lives, Our rules.

The one gift we give her is making a meal of her choosing. She really enjoys Arroz Con Pollo. I first, had this dish at my college friend, Imalut's(Blog Name) home in Wharton, TX. We were running from what became Tropical Storm Christine and stayed with her folks. Her mom made "Chicken & Rice" and I was a fan. Years later I was watching Throwdown with Bobby Flay and he challenged a chef to make the best Arroz Con Pollo. After studying the challenger's recipe, I made it & she loved it. And with Muh Diva's "expert" palate on what she tastes that it should be added & my research, this household version was created. It doesn't translate well in pictures, but I will post it with vegan-style turnip greens, seasoned tomatoes & Hibiscus tea.

Arroz Con Pollo
Ingredients

• 1 medium broiler-fryer chicken, cut up
• 1 Tbsp salt-free Italian seasoning
• 1 Tbsp onion powder
• 1 Tbsp garlic powder
• 2 tsp paprika
• 2 Tbsps olive oil
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 4  garlic cloves, minced
• 10  green olives, cut in half
• 1 roasted red pepper, cut into thin strips (or jarred)
• 1 10oz packet of yellow rice (Mahatma is my preference)
• 4 cups chicken broth

Directions

1. Heat 3 Tbsp olive oil in a large skillet (a skillet that has a cover) on medium-high heat.
2. Sprinkle the chicken pieces with the seasonings & put in the pan
3. Cook a few minutes on each side, just enough so that the chicken has browned. Use a slotted spoon to remove from pan and set aside.
4. Add the peppers, olives, onion, and garlic. 
5. Cook until the onions have softened, about 4 minutes.
6. Add the rice to the pan to brown. Add a little more olive oil if necessary. Stir to coat the rice with the olive oil in the pan for 3 minutes
7. Place the chicken pieces, skin-side up, on top of the rice.
8. Pour the stock over the rice mixture and chicken. 
9. Bring to a simmer, reduce the heat to low, and cover.
10. Let cook for 20-25 minutes or until the rice and chicken are done. 
11. Fluff the rice with a fork.

I have no clue what I'm making for Father's Day this year. I have not been told what she wants, yet. Regardless, I'll put love in it, like I always do.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Proposing at a Wedding

Dear Future Fiance'

Here is quick, possibly silly note. I love you! I love you because you listen. I love because you are respectful to others, also. Thank you for not ruining another couple's nuptials. You knew that was rude. And we don't ever want to be reason that the lovely couple is upset.

Plus if the bride "spundued" the ring box out your hand, you would have to find out what kind of "Ride, Not Die" woman you really were wanting to marry. I wouldn't blame her for being upset.

Even if you had the blessing of the groom, you still didn't. Weddings are beautiful & emotional. It is about the bride, the groom, and the love they share with one another.

It's crazy what kind of small actions will make me proud of you. I guess it is because of the what the world has turned into. But I am proud nonetheless.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Top 5 "Non-OutSpoken_Diva Style" Songs That Can Do No Wrong to Me(Black Music Month)

It June!!! It is Black Music Month!!! Time to give my perspective on the music of my people. There are some songs that talk about social or personal topics that I don't represent my views or thoughts. But some sound so good you can't help but to enjoy them. Well, I can't help to enjoy. Yes, I'm smiling.

Get Low by Lil John & The East Side ft The Ying Yang Twins

"To the Window to the Wall" The song is about some guys looking for random tail to take home after the club. Yeah, a man asking, "Can I play with your panty line"? will more than likely at least get him at a "What the Hell". Yet, I have popped a few of my best twerks to the song.

Ooops Oh My by Tweet
I can admit to have never felt so good that I masturbated because of it. Maybe because being high(contact) doesn't feel good to me.

There is a quote that says, Drunk minds reveal Sober thoughts. She knew she looked good. Probably knew she needed to self-release before she got high. But I liked the spirit of this song. If you never "looked over to the left" and thought you looked rather fetching, you need to look over to the left until you do.

Husband by Shirley Murdock
Of course, I am not a proponent of extra-maritial affairs. If you are fan of Shirly Murdock, this song came after her hit, "As We Lay". But this song, she didn't know her partner was married. This is why you do your homework. Oh, there was homework back in the 80s. She tells this husband, "Well I'm a lady with class and I know my desire will pass". He made her feel nice but, she will let it go because she is a decent woman. Wonder how this song would be recieved if it came out now, almost 20 years later.

Murdock & her Husband

Go On Without You by Shirley Murdock
On the same album as "As We Lay", we have this begging song. Apologizing is great. When people are wrong, people should apology. But adding "Please let me back", is not my style.  I'm Queen No Backsies so, that's not a shock. But this song starts so steady with an explaination of the cause. It ends with a strong request with high notes, runs & growls. Who hasn't tried to sing "I'm Wiser Now Because You Left" when singing this song. It's addictive to try. I really hope the guy she is begging back is not that lady's Husband. All that request to find out he's married later. Oh Shirley!

I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston
My cousin, Shaun(Blog Name) & I got a karaoke 100. No, I can't sing. That doesn't mean I won't. I love power ballads.

Whitney Houston was one of the queens in delivering a quality one. But my life doesn't follow the song, I Have Nothing. Life has shown me, people leaving hurts, but people aren't everything. This song is beautiful, though. It starts slows & melodic. It builds with vigor. And it ends sweetly with a long note. It is a definition of "music to my ears", to me. But to the lyric, "Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to", it will & so will you.

Well, that's me singing & dancing to songs whose lyrics & meanings.  I don't truly believe or live. We all have them. So Hey, Bop Away!!!

Ok, I have a debatable bonus. It is If Only For Night originally by Brenda Russell, but made famous by Luther Vandross. Was he singing to a married woman or a crush?
Since they sometimes paired it with the song, Creepin', I say Crush. 
Put your opinions in the comments.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Top 3 Reasons Why My Black Card Will be Revoked

My "Black" Card is ALWAYS in danger of being taken away. "I don't like____". "What does _____ mean"? I get the craziest looks because of statements & questions like these. There are three topics of life (slang, secular music, and soul food) that will probably be the reasons my "black" card gets snatched.

Slang
I don't "feel some kind of way" about never being up to date on slanguage. I never knew what that meant. So, I "feel good" not saying that phrase. This is a phenomena that I recognized in middle school. I've always been a step or two behind on speaking hip & current. Back then I cared. But as the days go by, not so much.

Secular Music
How to find me at a supper club? I'm the unenthusiastic patron looking at everyone enjoy a cover of Lenny Williams' "Cause I Love You". I dislike that stalker-like, whiny song. How to find me at a current lounge or night club?

I'm the one doing (and attempting) all the line dances, backing her thang up, & recreating the BBD video of Poison on the dance floor. You can also find me sitting down when Panda is played but singing along with Childish Gambino's Redbone. I am very particular about my music. If I don't understand or like it, I won't fake it. And it is something I've known for decades too. I own very few songs by Beyonce. But I might actually have the complete works of Lalah Hathaway. I like her better. Don't understand why she's so underrated. And Beyhive before you buzz by, go listen to all of Lalah before you turn your stingers on.

Soul Food.
Because of I hear "What do you mean you don't eat _____" so much, let me list the soul food items I do eat

• Fried Chicken
• Smothered Chicken
• Chicken Fried Steak
• Oven-Cue Ribs(but only at home)
• Baked Catfish
• Grilled Catfish
• Cabbage
• Turnip Greens
• Mustard Greens
• Red Beans & Rice
• Black Eye Peas

(those sides must be vegan-style or cooked with smoked turkey only)

• Gumbo
• Okra Stew
• Hushpuppies
• Apple Cobbler
• Cherry Cobbler
• Mixed Berry Cobbler
• Sweet Potato Pie

I don't consider barbecue, pot roast, or meatloaf as soul food, but I do eat them.
Nothing grinds my nerves like people acting like there is something wrong with me, because of the food I don't eat. I avoid all fish frys because somebody has to bring up my choice of eating side dishes only. I'll eat my baked or grilled catfish at home, in peace. We ate a lot of fried catfish, cornbread & lima beans growing up. I am burned out. Then stuff like pig feet, grits, & collard greens, I just don't like. And I can't explain why sweet potatoes taste better as a pie than a side dish. That's my quirk. We all have those.

That's why I don't understand why my black experience is questioned by another black experience. We all have our own. Leave my card along. It's mine!!! Threaten it but you can't take it.

Leave yours in the comments below!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Ladies Unfortunately, We're Teaching Misogyny Too

Been listening & reading a lot about misogyny. I know I use to believe in some very misogynistic rules. I use to be against female pastors. I was taught that a woman couldn't be a pastor. A pastor was the "husband of one wife". Keyword is Taught.

Guess who first taught me that. A woman first taught me that. Actually women taught (and enforced) me most of the misogyny. I know it was taught to them. But in a world where "Men are Trash" is the t-shirt slogan, I think it is time for us ladies to face our hand in the crap, too.

Ok, growing up in a traditional black Baptist church in the 80s & 90s, I was taught some very conservative ways to express my femininity in church by women. In the issue about women & pants in the sanctuary,

See the Lap Scarf

I never witness a member of male leadership in the discussion. It was always the female leaders & teachers holding up the spirit of that church law(that has now been amended at my foundation church) It was a woman, the president of the Mother's Board to be exact who had eight conniptions about women sitting on the front row during morning service. I never wanted to sit that close in church but I HATE that rule. Why? No one ever tells the male minister not to sit with his legs widely apart(manspreading). That is just as distracting. My sister, A & I call it "Come Get Me" style. And it looks very vulgar to my eyes.

But it is not just church were I was taught misogynistic rules. We are now publicly pushing girls into STEM areas. How many of my lady readers were encouraged to enter the science fairs when it wasn't required? If you did, were you the only girl in class? I was, once. How many of my female readers have degrees?

How many older ladies have asked you what school are you teaching at, now that you've graduated? Those of you who aren't teachers, did you notice their confused faces when you explain your degree? I know! It is sadly priceless. Nothing is wrong with teaching but All the ladies in college are not there for that.

🎶Nasty put some clothes on, I told ya

Don't walk out your house without your clothes on, I told ya

Girl what you thinkin' bout lookin' that to' down, I told ya

These men don't want no hot female that's

Been around the block female, you nasty girl🎶

Yeah, sorry Beyhive, Destiny's Child was out here slut shaming in the early millennium. Many of us are guilty of this act. Telling a woman an outfit is not flattering is one thing.

But to equate her clothing choices to her dating & sexual life is wrong. It's an easy thing to do. We still live in a society who still blames a rape victim's outfit on her being violated.

While we are policing men on treating women with respect, let us make sure we are not guilty of disrepect, also.

Oh, a female pastor isn't wrong to me any more. As long she is the wife of one person and is temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. She must manage her family well and her children obey her, and must do so in a manner worthy of respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage her own family, how can she take care of God’s church?)

She must not be a recent convert, or she may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. She must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that she will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. You know the same requirements expected of male pastors found in 1 Timothy 3:2-7.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms