Been listening & reading a lot about misogyny. I know I use to believe in some very misogynistic rules. I use to be against female pastors. I was taught that a woman couldn't be a pastor. A pastor was the "husband of one wife". Keyword is Taught.
Guess who first taught me that. A woman first taught me that. Actually women taught (and enforced) me most of the misogyny. I know it was taught to them. But in a world where "Men are Trash" is the t-shirt slogan, I think it is time for us ladies to face our hand in the crap, too.
Ok, growing up in a traditional black Baptist church in the 80s & 90s, I was taught some very conservative ways to express my femininity in church by women. In the issue about women & pants in the sanctuary,
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| See the Lap Scarf |
I never witness a member of male leadership in the discussion. It was always the female leaders & teachers holding up the spirit of that church law(that has now been amended at my foundation church) It was a woman, the president of the Mother's Board to be exact who had eight conniptions about women sitting on the front row during morning service. I never wanted to sit that close in church but I HATE that rule. Why? No one ever tells the male minister not to sit with his legs widely apart(manspreading). That is just as distracting. My sister, A & I call it "Come Get Me" style. And it looks very vulgar to my eyes.
But it is not just church were I was taught misogynistic rules. We are now publicly pushing girls into STEM areas. How many of my lady readers were encouraged to enter the science fairs when it wasn't required? If you did, were you the only girl in class? I was, once. How many of my female readers have degrees?
How many older ladies have asked you what school are you teaching at, now that you've graduated? Those of you who aren't teachers, did you notice their confused faces when you explain your degree? I know! It is sadly priceless. Nothing is wrong with teaching but All the ladies in college are not there for that.
🎶Nasty put some clothes on, I told ya
Don't walk out your house without your clothes on, I told ya
Girl what you thinkin' bout lookin' that to' down, I told ya
These men don't want no hot female that's
Been around the block female, you nasty girl🎶
Yeah, sorry Beyhive, Destiny's Child was out here slut shaming in the early millennium. Many of us are guilty of this act. Telling a woman an outfit is not flattering is one thing.
But to equate her clothing choices to her dating & sexual life is wrong. It's an easy thing to do. We still live in a society who still blames a rape victim's outfit on her being violated.
While we are policing men on treating women with respect, let us make sure we are not guilty of disrepect, also.
Oh, a female pastor isn't wrong to me any more. As long she is the wife of one person and is temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. She must manage her family well and her children obey her, and must do so in a manner worthy of respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage her own family, how can she take care of God’s church?)
She must not be a recent convert, or she may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. She must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that she will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. You know the same requirements expected of male pastors found in 1 Timothy 3:2-7.
As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms
