I've dated a man on “papers” before. I think he was on Standard probation. He just had to check in during the day twice a month. My experience was not as near of a headache as many others. Number 1, I was young so I had an innocent tolerance that I lack now. Number 2, I didn't have the same dating requirements about Time I have now. I do require some time to date me. Gone are the days when I can go weeks at a time and not lay eyes on you and you are still considered my boyfriend. That was cute for the busy with fun time under 25 crowd. I’m not that daggum fun time busy anymore.
Yes, Time and Freedom are the variables that stop me from dating men on parole & probation. They work hand in hand like two justice system twins. I remember a guy that flirted with me during my days of ticket sales work that lived in a halfway house. As nice and sweet as he was I always left it at flirting. He had a 9 pm curfew. Let’s just say I was in my early 20’s when I didn't get dressed to go out until 10. I couldn't even imagine going out on a date then and being home by 8, 8:30 so he wouldn't get in trouble. I'm older now and still can’t see myself doing that. I remember a former friend was married to a guy and he could go to an out-of-town family wedding because it was not approved. I've seen guys with ankle monitors at church making sure they make their “where about” call. My heart bleeds for them when I see it. I know they did the crime so they have to do the time but they are still not free to spend their time the way they want to.
That is who I want to date. Men who are free to live their law-abiding life. I stress law-abiding because many folks get out of jail not reformed. I will date a former criminal but First, he must be reformed. He can’t go back to “that” life that leads him to jail and dates me. And once he is free from all obligations of his sentence inside & outside the prison, he can approach me. So only, Totally Legally Free men can date me.
As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms
