Who Loves You, Baby? It Better be You!!!

Here's A Question

That's the Answer!

Saw that on Football Nerd's nephew, Vinny B's Facebook page, and I thought it is a lovely ice breaker for this post.

Until I stop hearing whining about not having Valentine's Day Date, I will still be preaching Self Love.

Until I stop seeing articles like How To: Spend Valentine's Day Alone or 7 Ways For All The Single Ladies To OWN Valentine's Day This Year, I'll stop posting about Self Love. Until very divisive memes like that one are not shared & like, I'm talking Self Love

I am tired of people wrapping all their self-worth into companionship, especially on a particular day. Last year, I was low-key mourning even though I had put myself back on the market the month earlier. I still made a post about self-love because to whine about who is not in my life is wrong.

The most mind-boggling part to me is that most people (single, in a dating relationship, & married) know to love themselves. I just don't know if they don't or don't know how to. The funny part is we love ourselves in small ways every day. I have 4 small signs that I always rely on to keep tabs on my fondness of myself.

• How is my physical & mental health? Am I trying to be as healthy as I can be? We know if we are not drinking enough water. We know if we are not getting enough rest. We if we are keeping up with our body's maintenance via health care provider appointments. I said health care provider because some of us need to check in with mental health specialists to talk some things out. I for one am a proponent for therapy. Yes, I am a Christian and I got the Lord. I also believe God gave some humans the knowledge to help us be mentally balanced. Mental health is still a part of your health. And again you know if you are or are not taking care of yourself.
  

• Speaking of mental health, what do you say about yourself, here is a meme to consider. We have enough negative outside forces to dodge that are trying to feed all kinds of stuff into us all the time. Why would we feed more crap into us? If you are trying to love yourself, tell yourself loving things. I Am Enough!!! I Am Proud of Myself!!! I Am Not Fine but It Is Ok,  I Will Be!!! Until I Value Me, I Can't Value My Time!!! I Am Kind, I Am Smart, I Am Important!!!
  
  
• Do you have theme music? Here is an experiment to do for a month. Watch how you dress with music you love for one week. The next week, get dressed without music. Then repeat the steps for two more weeks. If you don't look better to & feel better about yourself after getting ready with music, I'll tip my hat to you. I have two "Getting Dress" playlists, one sacred list & one secular list. There is some about hearing this lyric to Nothing to Lose,  that empowers me to take on this world and all its crud. "He Gave Me Nothing to Lose but All To Gain" It can all bounce off because God didn't give that nothingness. I don't have to take it in. Then the song above. I heard these lyrics years ago and want to raise my fist in pride. "She's A Girl That Can't Be Beat Born And Raised On Ghetto Streets She's A Devastating Beauty A Pretty Girl With Ebony Eyes". A song that describes me. Theme music doesn't have to be only played when you are getting dressed. It should be played when you feel the need to be liberated. It needs to be listened to push what you love into you. No one wants to love the negative. Well, I don't think they do. So, your theme music more than likely reflects what is positive to you. 

  

  Ol' Sloppy Drunk Chicken
  Came out of the oven falling forward

• Every so often does something simple that you love. For example when you are shopping for bath soap. Pick a fragrance that you love even if no one else in your home would like it. Get them all that same scent that they like. I love to make Oven Beer Can Chicken as soon as it gets cold. It's a "dangerous" meal but I really take pride in making it. Recently, every time I wanted to make it for dinner, something would get in the way. Somebody wanted a meal before I put it on the schedule. Thanksgiving is coming up, we are already having turkey. Mom & Alura, whose 19 are going to the store, and I don't have bail money (legit concern of mine). And my distractions could go on & on. Well Super Bowl Sunday, I made this dish. I usually let them have party food that day. Well, not this year. They like it too so, I won't get any complaints. But just something simple like that. If you love it, do it sometimes.

Those are the little reminders I use to make sure I'm loving myself. Things to let me know I am checking in to make I'm ok. Loving yourself is not selfish. It's just knowing yourself, well. I read somewhere there are 5 Love Languages.

• Gifts
• Quality time
• Words of affirmation
• Acts of service (devotion)
• Physical touch (intimacy)

No one can truly love you if you don't teach them. And well you can't teach something you don't fluently speak. Be Fluent in You!!!

Oh and if I don't get to tell you on the 14th, Happy Valentine's Day!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

It's February!!!

You guys know I am crazy about two months, February & June. June because my birthday is in that month. February because it contains 3 key interests of mine.

Now this year, I am going to be a little busy towards the beginning of this month. But I promise to give you posts on time.

Yes, I'm sappy! I celebrate Valentine's Day! I've heard talks of afternoon plans with a pal. Nothing major, just hanging out.

But if I don't, I still have church services to attend and a God & a me to love on. Days before, I will release a post for everyone to learn to love. Yes, that is the hint. Oh, I figured out which Healthier Dessert (You have read that  POST, right?) I will be making my loved ones. I will be making the Healthy Lemony Yogurt Loaf Cake.

February 14 will be on a Sunday. Most Sunday's my aunts stop by to visit with my grandmother after their church services let out. They are a little spoiled because I provide something for them to snack on while I'm cooking dinner for my household. Lemon is one of the only agreed upon flavors in my family. Plus, that's more people to eat the cake and less leftover for us.

The only Black History Month story I will be telling be telling this year, is my own. While, an actress of the same culture as I, who thinks that the observance, award shows that celebrate mostly black cultures and BET (and channels like it) where strangely the majority of the movies she is in are shown, should be banned, I will tell you how Black History Month help me decide to start living my authentic self everywhere I go.
You will be surprised the people that never got to experience all of  Outspoken_Diva the Churchy Blerd of the past. I was so "good" at only living parts of me places, that my real identity confuses them now. Then, there are the people who never knew I struggle when I was younger. So, until I write my full memoir, I'll give you a peak in. Can't tell someone else's story and refuse to tell your own.

And now let me get on my soap box. I'm only going to get on it once this month on the blog. We know February is American Heart Month. We know to get "Get Your Blood Pressure Under Control". We know "Quit Smoking". We know "Reduce Your Sodium Intake".

Yet, 1 in 4 deaths are heart disease related, Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women. More than half of the deaths due to heart disease in 2009 were in men. And before age 50, African-Americans' heart failure rate is 20 times higher than that of whites.

I've gone to that One funeral. That funeral was of a black man who didn't make it to 40. He was one of my best friends. Oh and his funeral was not in February. It was in May of 2014. I never want to look in the casket of a person I know because of this again. I don't want to get that kind of news anymore. I have clients that wonder why many of the recipes I suggest are salt-free or reduced in salt. I simply tell them, I don't know how to cook with salt. And I don't. I try sometimes. When I was learning to cook, we learned my grandmother had high blood pressure & pains in her heart muscle called angina. When the doctor told her to cut out salt. She was cooking 95% of our meals so, that is what we did. She's still living. She's in her early 90's. I don't credit a reduced salt diet to all of that but I know it helps. And she is just one of the heart health stories in my family. I don't wear the Red Dress pin and say "Go Red" just for her and other women. I wear it because I know the effects of not living as heart healthy as one can be. I wear the pin because it was cuter than grief. Grief is not cute to wear. Not living a more heart healthy life leads to somebody to grieve. Not living a more heart healthy life is not cute. Don't we all want to be cute.

Alright, I'm through preaching for now. If you follow me on other forms of social media, you know I'm going to start back up as soon as I see something to share. all year long. It's more than just my job & stuff I do for my family, it's in my heart. Well, I'm in tears now, So, I will stop here.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Self-Love

Do you love yourself? Self-Love is regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic). It is the instinct or desire to promote one's own well-being. It has many benefits include lowered blood pressure & relief of symptoms of depression.

Recently a lady is Houston married herself for her 40th birthday. It's not a New phenomena. I talked about it a POST about the newest threat to marriage a few years ago. It's not my cup of tea but I have to admit it is a cool way to express self-love.

She was going to celebrate her life anyway. She decided to celebrate it by make a vow to herself to dedicate herself to herself. Of course, her celebration brought about ridicule. On Facebook I saw some eye opening critiques on her event.

We have some dumb ass people in the world. Stupid.

She paid money for that...

She will be divorced within the year

Some are stuck on the word marriage. Their understanding of the event maybe limited. She living & loving in her truth. She loved the event and that what is important.

I can always tell people who don't truly love themselves.

1. People who whine about their insecurities constantly, Some give up while trying to work on themselves. Some do nothing about what they dislike about themselves but feebly complaint about them. 2. People who hatefully complain about others. Especially who who do love themselves, are working on loving themselves, and/or the ways the self-lovers use to love themselves. Clearly these people do follow Mark 21:31.

Because no one would hatefully express their feeling towards themselves. Yet people can voice the ugliest opinions about the choices of others even when those choices don't affect them at all. It ok to disagree with the choice but to be disgusting or insulting in the disagreement is not loving at all.

Yes, Outspoken_Diva loves herself. I love myself to work on myself as much as I can. I have caused many of  my darkest days of my past. One day I decided to be responsible of many of my brightest days. I had to learn to pour into myself some how everyday. Sometimes the quotes I share are for me. Somedays I need to diffuse with a good song about releasing myself from people and things that want to hold on to me. I had to be honest to myself about my likes, dislikes, & opinions. I had to learn to hold firm about my likes, dislikes, & opinions even if I stand alone with them. I had to learn to love the Same Stuff, Different Day, mundane things in life. Hey, it's not something hectic that I have to figure out how to deal with so I might as well love it. Daily, I learn to love the work in progress that I am.

I am not what I should be but I Love I am not some the Outspoken_Divas of  Yesterday and Love the trials they experience to give today's me wonderful lessons to learn . Tomorrow, I am going to Love me today for all the Love I Love at this moment.

Self-Love is a curriculum we think we've mastered but it is really a life-long lesson. Everyday there is something we have work on.

We just have to love ourselves enough to take the infinite course.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms