Changing For Like's, Lust's or Love's Approval

I don’t understand how some of us sometimes change ourselves all in the name of, like, lust, or love. If you have Never changed yourself for those reasons, I applaud you. That is not everyone’s testimony.

I was watching a video about a plus size lady asking should she lose weight to be more attractive in the eyes of her partner.  I had a client whose purpose for asking for my services, was to lose weight so her boyfriend would finally give her a ring. I have had a couple of guys who were willing to stop having sex altogether because I was celibate. People change their hair color because their partner prefers redheads over brunettes. Some go into debt trying to be someone else or look like someone else for someone else.

I said we because I have been guilty of this crime to self-esteem. Once, I was dating a guy who liked long hair that was not a weave. So, I grew my hair out over the summer. He gave me so many compliments. Fast forward to the next Easter and I got my hair styled in an up-do and it had weave in it. He made a comment of disapproval and well, we had the “you didn't pay for it” conversation. I then decided not to wear weave around him. The aha moment came a couple of months later when I cut my hair.

He gave his disapproving opinion and it hit me. I was subconsciously styling my hair to get his approval. That stopped that day.

Do we crave to be liked, lusted for, or loved so much that we let our like, lust, & love of other people dictate what we do with our own bodies? I had people tell me I was stupid for not a dating a man that would stop having sex because I was celibate. These were people who hadn’t had a man with blue balls cuss them out because of “what he did” so he could be with them (though him going sex-free was never asked of or told to him to do so (Yes, the thought of being with the Diva drives them to do… LoL)). No one else’s preferences or wants should tell you what you should be. No one should be so enamored & smitten with someone not to be whom they truly are. You lose weight for your best healthy self.

If you want to look like a celebrity then you go right ahead. You be who you want to be and if that attracts someone else then that person is attracted.

Oh, that is so easier said than done. Oh, the trappings of like, lust, love, and loneliness. Yes, I said loneliness. That is many times the root of the issue for those are the lonely type and those that are more romantically independent. We don’t want to be without a or that particular person we are involved with we do things to try to keep them. Changing our looks is an injurious chip at our own self-worth view. If whoever we are in a romantic rapport with desires or wants something that doesn't make you a better person for you then it is not going to ever be good. When it comes to selfless wants and desires for if it doesn't benefit you it can’t benefit the relationship because they are actually selfish.

Always attract yourself first and the rest will follow.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms