Lies Told about Sex & the Sexless (I Blame Pop Culture)

Just got through watching “Virgin Territory. It’s a show on MTV highlighting the lives of willing & unwilling young people who have never had sex. I liked is so far. The first episode didn’t show any stereotypical virgins.  Stereotypical virgins are people that act like the main character of 40 Year Old Virgin

(Finally watched that crud of movie. I got the joke. Still not funny.

Romany Malco (Team Eye Candy) being in it didn’t even make me like that movie.).

Or the stereotype that Abstinent people — especially virgins — are expected to be prude, unattractive, homely, recluses who are probably asexual.

They had to reel me in first. The stereotypical are coming later in the season. *sigh*

Of course there were the friends of the virgins that think it is something weird about being an adult virgin. I’ll never understand people who feel like everyone should be having sex. I never had people tell me that before I had sex. Oh but when I decided to become celibate many years ago, many of my friends have made it clear that part of my life is weird as hell to them *shrug* Those attitudes are so annoying. Everybody tries to make sex like this glorious instant phenomenon. Few people tell the real sex story. Fewer people tell someone who isn’t having sex the real story. Pop Culture has a hand in this. Pop Culture has made it comfortable with those stereotypes because it has brainwashed a great portion of the population to believe that having indiscriminate sex is normal and adults who are celibate are not normal. It’s time to snatch its hand out the pot too.

1.     Sex is not good a first. Women let’s tell the truth. All these movies out here making it seem like fireworks and rainbows are lying. And men, let’s face it, the first time you are not lasting forever. I’ve heard the stories. Most of you guys make it to 5 minutes. Two movies comes to my mind that get the first time right. Those are “Love & Basketball” & “The Wood”.

2.    Some of people don’t care about the first time being special. Some folks just want to hurry up and have sex. Some folks want the bragging rights of sleeping with a virgin.

3.    Everybody talking about having sex, are not having the sex they lie about having sex. Trust me everybody is not doing it. That is what I liked about “40 Year Old Virgin” it exposed the co-workers for the sexless liars they really were. People love to make fun of the people they think they have one up on. In my experience, the ones that are having their own dry spells are the people that tease the sexless the most. It’s like since they feel they are having a problem, you have to be weirdo, also.

4.    There are many Famous people that are not having sex or waited before they got married. People love looking up to people.

·         Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon So, what there waited all of a few months to get married. They waited and are still married

·         Meagan Good and her husband DeVon Franklin’s marriage bed is not deviled.

·         Tamera Mowry and her husband Adam Housley decided as a couple to wait until marriage to have sex again.

·         Tim Gunn who is a fashion icon and on Project Runway is celibate.

·         Justin Bieber’s mom, Pattie Mallette, promised herself that she would not date again until her son turned 18, and would be celibate again until she was married.

·         Olympic (Summer & Winter) athlete, Lolo Jones is a virgin.

Yeah she can say some very rude stuff but she’s still not having sex.

5.    That leads me to my last lie. Sex doesn’t make or break you. You will not have sex and become a new person. Who you are is who you are. The beloved Beyonce’, who has according to pop culture reports lost her virginity at 23, seems to be a sweetheart. Umm didn’t she seem that way since she came on the scene Sex might be A stress reliever but so is exercise. If a person has a jacked up attitude that is on them. I was snarky before sex. I was catty while I was in the game. I am a smart-butt since I stopped. Ask somebody that knew me in all three stages. I have family members who don’t know I ever had sex but I bet they can speak on my behavior.

There was a virgin bride named Lisa (her dress was cute) on “Virgin Territory”. I know she wished somebody had been honest about sex before her honeymoon. I thought about her typing number 5. Spoiler Alert!!! She said it was nothing to write home about. I almost laughed when she said that. She comes back 9 months later and says how it got better and she would not change a thing. All this stuff that is presented about sex needs to be rewritten. The truth needs to be added.

Oh well to all of us non-pop cultured defined sexless people and those who secretly wish they could be us out there, the truth will be told one way or the other. Pop culture’s story is not the only out there. It knows it isn't and that why it feels it has to be shouted and constantly bragged about.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Time for March

March is Women's History Month so get ready for a few blogs featuring Woman Champions and also a “Help Me Understand”. Let’s just say this “Help Me Understand” has a love/hate relationship that I don’t get.

March is also National Nutrition Month.  We including me need to eat better. I’ve been using a Pinterest for my food diary. OMG it is so effective because I actually see that I eat crappy and I’m a Nutritional Consultant. We have to do better. 

National Reading Day is March 2. As an Avid reader I urge you to READ. Reading is so important. Too many people don't read. I believe Don't Read and Can't Read are the same thing. Either way you are Not reading!

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day is March 10. Again it’s sad to me that there has to be any Awareness days ever but this one saddens me the most. Why? The stats that says women account for about 1 in 4 new HIV/AIDS cases in the United States. And of these newly infected women, about 2 in 3 are African-American. Everyone should frown. The fact that HIV/AIDS exist should make us frown.

March 10^th is also my anniversary of me being “Radical”. If by now you don’t know what “Radical” for me is, shame on you. Go Read what it is Here. Not telling you the number, this the internet. March 10^th is not the day I decided to go Radical. I have no clue what day that was. I was going through then so all the days ran together then. March 10^th was the last day I was Not Radical. Why do I called it “Being Radical?”

1.  The method. There wasn’t one. I just did it.

2.   For some odd reason not doing it is strange, uncommon, weird, crazy, drastic, dramatic… Radical

Was I planning to make it to make it this long? NO!!! But some time in, I realized I could not just give it up all willy nilly. This was really part of my life.  Do I regret it? NO!!! I have gotten so much sleep since going Radical. Yes, I am laughing, too. Seriously, I have my days, weeks, and months that I think I went crazy. Then I think “No, Crazy was those years ago when you didn’t see the "Real" you when you looked in the mirror. Crazy was when I was crying all the time because I was connected to those that had unplugged from me and was too dumb not realize it. I think I'm a better person for it. So will "Radical" make it to next year? I don't know. I am human. God willing, YES!!!

So, that is the month of March. Go celebrate the ladies. Eat Better. Read, it Fundamental. Don’t have sex or at least Protect yourself having it. Those last statements seem so cliché. Oh well it gets my point across.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Abstinence & Celibacy Choices, Are they so Wrong for Adults?

Seemly the website Ashley Madison (a website where adults who wanna cheat meet other adults who wanna cheat) is willing to pay any woman who can prove they slept with Tim Tebow (the devout Christian football player who is also a virgin waiting to have sex when he's married (OK whatever)) big dollars. Why? Because they don't believe he will be able to be sex-free in New York. What nerve of Ashley Madison to put a bounty on the man's virginity? Yeah you ask well what do you expect from an adultery website. But they aren't they only people with that view.

Even though doing right is the law of the land. Saving yourself for marriage seems to not to be part of that law. 40 year-old Virgin made it seem like the guy was goofy because he hadn't "got some". If a woman goes celibate for too long people feel like she gonna close up. Oh I've heard people praise folk for saving themselves one day then act like they're a pathetic loser that missing out the next day. It's confusing & hypocritical. I could see if they wanted have sex and couldn't give it away. Then maybe you can pity them. But someone who chose this lifestyle should at least be respected. Praise them only if you mean it and may want to try it yourself. You should never pity them for their choices in life. A choice that is not wrong.
Oh the quotes use are silly too. "If God Wanted You to Wait, He Should Not Have Made it Feel so Good". I understand when that quote was said by someone wanting to have sex with a virgin or a celibate person. They are trying to "feel good" with them. I don't understand the quote said by someone not trying to have sex with them is crazy. Again people are acting as if this choice is the end of the world.

Amazing how most Adults think it's GREAT if young people wait. Why can't it be just as GREAT if adults wait? One less person possibly with AIDS, with STD's, cheating, prostituting,etc. Either way it's an Adult Choice. RESPECT THE CHOICE!!!