Who Loves You, Baby? It Better be You!!!

Here's A Question

That's the Answer!

Saw that on Football Nerd's nephew, Vinny B's Facebook page, and I thought it is a lovely ice breaker for this post.

Until I stop hearing whining about not having Valentine's Day Date, I will still be preaching Self Love.

Until I stop seeing articles like How To: Spend Valentine's Day Alone or 7 Ways For All The Single Ladies To OWN Valentine's Day This Year, I'll stop posting about Self Love. Until very divisive memes like that one are not shared & like, I'm talking Self Love

I am tired of people wrapping all their self-worth into companionship, especially on a particular day. Last year, I was low-key mourning even though I had put myself back on the market the month earlier. I still made a post about self-love because to whine about who is not in my life is wrong.

The most mind-boggling part to me is that most people (single, in a dating relationship, & married) know to love themselves. I just don't know if they don't or don't know how to. The funny part is we love ourselves in small ways every day. I have 4 small signs that I always rely on to keep tabs on my fondness of myself.

• How is my physical & mental health? Am I trying to be as healthy as I can be? We know if we are not drinking enough water. We know if we are not getting enough rest. We if we are keeping up with our body's maintenance via health care provider appointments. I said health care provider because some of us need to check in with mental health specialists to talk some things out. I for one am a proponent for therapy. Yes, I am a Christian and I got the Lord. I also believe God gave some humans the knowledge to help us be mentally balanced. Mental health is still a part of your health. And again you know if you are or are not taking care of yourself.
  

• Speaking of mental health, what do you say about yourself, here is a meme to consider. We have enough negative outside forces to dodge that are trying to feed all kinds of stuff into us all the time. Why would we feed more crap into us? If you are trying to love yourself, tell yourself loving things. I Am Enough!!! I Am Proud of Myself!!! I Am Not Fine but It Is Ok,  I Will Be!!! Until I Value Me, I Can't Value My Time!!! I Am Kind, I Am Smart, I Am Important!!!
  
  
• Do you have theme music? Here is an experiment to do for a month. Watch how you dress with music you love for one week. The next week, get dressed without music. Then repeat the steps for two more weeks. If you don't look better to & feel better about yourself after getting ready with music, I'll tip my hat to you. I have two "Getting Dress" playlists, one sacred list & one secular list. There is some about hearing this lyric to Nothing to Lose,  that empowers me to take on this world and all its crud. "He Gave Me Nothing to Lose but All To Gain" It can all bounce off because God didn't give that nothingness. I don't have to take it in. Then the song above. I heard these lyrics years ago and want to raise my fist in pride. "She's A Girl That Can't Be Beat Born And Raised On Ghetto Streets She's A Devastating Beauty A Pretty Girl With Ebony Eyes". A song that describes me. Theme music doesn't have to be only played when you are getting dressed. It should be played when you feel the need to be liberated. It needs to be listened to push what you love into you. No one wants to love the negative. Well, I don't think they do. So, your theme music more than likely reflects what is positive to you. 

  

  Ol' Sloppy Drunk Chicken
  Came out of the oven falling forward

• Every so often does something simple that you love. For example when you are shopping for bath soap. Pick a fragrance that you love even if no one else in your home would like it. Get them all that same scent that they like. I love to make Oven Beer Can Chicken as soon as it gets cold. It's a "dangerous" meal but I really take pride in making it. Recently, every time I wanted to make it for dinner, something would get in the way. Somebody wanted a meal before I put it on the schedule. Thanksgiving is coming up, we are already having turkey. Mom & Alura, whose 19 are going to the store, and I don't have bail money (legit concern of mine). And my distractions could go on & on. Well Super Bowl Sunday, I made this dish. I usually let them have party food that day. Well, not this year. They like it too so, I won't get any complaints. But just something simple like that. If you love it, do it sometimes.

Those are the little reminders I use to make sure I'm loving myself. Things to let me know I am checking in to make I'm ok. Loving yourself is not selfish. It's just knowing yourself, well. I read somewhere there are 5 Love Languages.

• Gifts
• Quality time
• Words of affirmation
• Acts of service (devotion)
• Physical touch (intimacy)

No one can truly love you if you don't teach them. And well you can't teach something you don't fluently speak. Be Fluent in You!!!

Oh and if I don't get to tell you on the 14th, Happy Valentine's Day!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

When TGIT Comes Back...

I know I have Big Bang Theory at 7:00 CST but after that I have had nothing to watch on TV on Thursday. And I am not accustomed for reading time to be on Thursday so, I can't wait for the return of TGIT on ABC (Gross that rhymed). Grey's Anatomy, Scandal & How to Get Away With Murder, all have been missed. So, let's catch up. Shall we?

Save your 'I don't watch Grey's Anatomy because... left, or died." talk. Until Meredith Grey is not on the show and the storyline is good (like it is), I'm still a fan. "Character Only" Fans leave. Now we left off with Karev proposing to Jo.

Will Jo say yes to Karev's proposal? I hope not. Jo is a mess and needs to emotionally grow up. I swear she is the same age she was abandoned at and she handles personal issues at that age. Then there's the issue with Hunt & Riggs. Riggs is Hunt's brother-in-law, maybe? If so, where is Hunt's sister? And of course, why is he sooo angry with Riggs? I will say that punch was intense. It truly said "So, you didn't believe fat ain't greasy. Well, I had to show you." Will Avery & Kepner get back together? I am tired of Japril's (Jackson & April) crap. Why have sex and both of you know that you are broken?  But we are left with Jackson going to tell Kepner something. If he asks for a divorce, I will cry. I ship Jabril. And we have already seen on the commercials that Meredith is going to be attacked. Does this means Amelia (who better not drink that drink she ordered) has to move back in to help Maggie with the kids? I have a weird opinion about Amelia. I like her but I want her to understand that as the Grey sister-in-law she doesn't have full rights to "Meredith" information.

Oh other than the intern Maggie Pierce is seeing, these interns bore me.

I don't care if she takes off the white hat. The Gladiators better be back. I am tired of Team Fitz & Team Jake stories.

I need Olivia to get back to OPA work. That is what I loved about older seasons of Scandal, Olivia Pope was still taking care of her work. Clearly, she is bad in the love life department. But why must her job suffer? I know this show is an exaggeration of a distracted person but come on. I totally understand her parents' underlying frustrations with her.

I bet this whole Fall season of Season  5,
He has been yelling this from the grave.

I just wish Papa Pope, Mama Pope, OPA, Abby, or somebody would tell Olivia Pope to FOCUS on her work.  Olivia Pope loves the shadows, I don't know why she experimented with being in the public as the girlfriend of Fitz the President, anyway. OPA better be back and if an abortion is what brings it back, so be it.

Confession may be good for the soul but it can still get you shot. Isn't that right Annalise Keating.

Oh but she knew to pull the "Christophe" card on Mr. Wes. Even shot and might be leaving this world, she knows how slip in a jab on those students. Oh her saying "Christophe" was not the only "What the Heck' jab she poked with. When she told Asher that the other 4 were responsible for the death of her husband, Sam, I flipped.

All because they said wouldn't help out with the body of Emily Sinclair after Asher ran her over. I'm so glad Asher is caught up on events. His cluelessness was annoying me. Now he is on an even playing field and the Keating 5 can be whole. Now as for as the burning question, Who is Christophe? I have a weird feeling he's a link to Annalise's female lover, Eve. I have a feeling she was the one who is responsible for why Wes/Christophe was an orphan.

I have a feeling Annalise may have helped Eve do some tidying up of her problem & she has some guilt on her. But we will find out soon enough. Plus, I get to see that fine, fine Nate Lahey. We will also get to see the Keating 5 work as a whole for a change. Oh and that little pesky issue of Catherine and why she is involved in the murder of her adoptive parents. She's not dead so, we can get some kind of answer. Well, after they give us a little run around.

So Thursday, my TV will be on ABC, TGIT ready. If you are new to the blog, I am one of those live tweeters. You can find me on Twitter, under the same name giving my thoughts as the show runs. I'll go back to watching Big Bang Theory on Friday nights on ONDemand. Alright, here to Thursday night!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

It's February!!!

You guys know I am crazy about two months, February & June. June because my birthday is in that month. February because it contains 3 key interests of mine.

Now this year, I am going to be a little busy towards the beginning of this month. But I promise to give you posts on time.

Yes, I'm sappy! I celebrate Valentine's Day! I've heard talks of afternoon plans with a pal. Nothing major, just hanging out.

But if I don't, I still have church services to attend and a God & a me to love on. Days before, I will release a post for everyone to learn to love. Yes, that is the hint. Oh, I figured out which Healthier Dessert (You have read that  POST, right?) I will be making my loved ones. I will be making the Healthy Lemony Yogurt Loaf Cake.

February 14 will be on a Sunday. Most Sunday's my aunts stop by to visit with my grandmother after their church services let out. They are a little spoiled because I provide something for them to snack on while I'm cooking dinner for my household. Lemon is one of the only agreed upon flavors in my family. Plus, that's more people to eat the cake and less leftover for us.

The only Black History Month story I will be telling be telling this year, is my own. While, an actress of the same culture as I, who thinks that the observance, award shows that celebrate mostly black cultures and BET (and channels like it) where strangely the majority of the movies she is in are shown, should be banned, I will tell you how Black History Month help me decide to start living my authentic self everywhere I go.
You will be surprised the people that never got to experience all of  Outspoken_Diva the Churchy Blerd of the past. I was so "good" at only living parts of me places, that my real identity confuses them now. Then, there are the people who never knew I struggle when I was younger. So, until I write my full memoir, I'll give you a peak in. Can't tell someone else's story and refuse to tell your own.

And now let me get on my soap box. I'm only going to get on it once this month on the blog. We know February is American Heart Month. We know to get "Get Your Blood Pressure Under Control". We know "Quit Smoking". We know "Reduce Your Sodium Intake".

Yet, 1 in 4 deaths are heart disease related, Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women. More than half of the deaths due to heart disease in 2009 were in men. And before age 50, African-Americans' heart failure rate is 20 times higher than that of whites.

I've gone to that One funeral. That funeral was of a black man who didn't make it to 40. He was one of my best friends. Oh and his funeral was not in February. It was in May of 2014. I never want to look in the casket of a person I know because of this again. I don't want to get that kind of news anymore. I have clients that wonder why many of the recipes I suggest are salt-free or reduced in salt. I simply tell them, I don't know how to cook with salt. And I don't. I try sometimes. When I was learning to cook, we learned my grandmother had high blood pressure & pains in her heart muscle called angina. When the doctor told her to cut out salt. She was cooking 95% of our meals so, that is what we did. She's still living. She's in her early 90's. I don't credit a reduced salt diet to all of that but I know it helps. And she is just one of the heart health stories in my family. I don't wear the Red Dress pin and say "Go Red" just for her and other women. I wear it because I know the effects of not living as heart healthy as one can be. I wear the pin because it was cuter than grief. Grief is not cute to wear. Not living a more heart healthy life leads to somebody to grieve. Not living a more heart healthy life is not cute. Don't we all want to be cute.

Alright, I'm through preaching for now. If you follow me on other forms of social media, you know I'm going to start back up as soon as I see something to share. all year long. It's more than just my job & stuff I do for my family, it's in my heart. Well, I'm in tears now, So, I will stop here.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Health Conscious Sweets For Your Sweeties (Healthy Holiday Recipes)

Hey, I told you guys I would be back in 2016 with more healthy ways to celebrate the holidays. I was actually playing with a selfie stick (modeling a shirt my sister A & I found for Valentine's Day (in a smaller size #humblebrag, still need work) when I realized I hadn't posted this one. But then I realized, you guys had a little time to get your plans together.

Every year I do two things for Valentine's, buy my grandmother flowers like grandfather did when he was alive & make a dessert for my household. This year, I made a healthier dessert for them. I care about my sweeties' health just like you guys do.  In the past, I gave them a cheat day for a Valentine's Day gift.

Then that cake looked like that within a half-hour one year. Last year, they got fruit salad. This year, I'm looking to do something different. And I decided to share my contending recipes with you guys.

What's Valentine's without a little chocolate. Chocolate is many people's must-have indulgence. And those many love to the fact that Chocolate is good for the heart. They miss the fact that the health benefits are found in Dark Chocolate. Now, in my opinion, chocolate on strawberries has been done to death. Let's try it on some oranges. When one says dark chocolate it is one that’s at least 85% dark – if not darker. And remember that you’ll be eating it on the oranges, not all alone, so you’ll still be getting some sweetness from the fruit.

Dark Chocolate Covered Oranges(Found the recipe HERE)

Ingredients

• 5 mandarin, clementine or navel oranges, peeled

• ½ cup dark chocolate

• Sea salt (Optional)

Preparation

1. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. Melt the chocolate using a double boiler placed over boiling water on medium-low heat.

3. Dip each orange slice halfway into the melted chocolate and place on the baking sheet.

4. Sprinkle each chocolate-covered orange slice with sea salt if using.

5. Refrigerate for about 10 minutes and serve

Well with this holiday being in February, it might be a little chilly. Who does like feeling a little warm & cozy? The best drink that drinks that says warm & cozy like Hot Cocoa. Yummy!!! But instead of the sugar-filled packet that is added to that high-fat percent cup of milk, try this.

Healthier Hot Chocolate  (HERE is the recipe)

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons sugar

• 4 teaspoons unsweetened cocoa powder

• 1 cup 1% milk, divided

• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

• Pinch of ground cinnamon

Preparation

1. Mix sugar, cocoa, and 2 tablespoons cold milk in a mug until smooth. 

2. Heat the remaining milk in a small saucepan on the stovetop or in a 2-cup glass measure in the microwave until steaming hot but not boiling. 

3. Stir in the cocoa mixture and vanilla.

To froth the hot chocolate, whirl a whisk in it by rubbing your hands back and forth. (Alternatively, pour the hot chocolate into a blender, cover with the lid and a kitchen towel and blend until frothy.) Pour it back into the mug and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Not a chocolate lover? Allergic to chocolate? I didn't forget you. Sweet potatoes may be one of nature's unsurpassed sources of beta-carotene. Sweet potatoes are a good source of vitamin A, vitamin C, manganese, & vitamin B1, vitamin B2. In my home, sweet potatoes have been bought a lot this year. They like them as side dishes (baked, candied, oven fries), I don't. And I will only make so many pies & cakes. How about a simple yogurt based pudding?

Sweet Potato Pudding(I doubled Snack Girl's RECIPE)

Ingredients

• 1 baked sweet potato

• 1/2 cup low-fat vanilla yogurt

• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

• sliced almonds for garnish (optional)

Preparation

1. Mash sweet potato in a bowl and mix in cinnamon. 

2. Top with yogurt and almonds. Enjoy!

To bake sweet potato: Heat oven to 400F. Make fork holes in the sweet potato and then place it on an aluminum foil-lined baking sheet. Bake for 45 minutes to one hour until soft

If that didn't whet your appetite, I have one more. Like chef & TV host Carla Hall, I love a good pucker.

Even though it is bright, it's not just used for summer dishes. The lemon is probably one of the most commonly used brighteners in cooking & baking. Make your honey's lips contract with this tangy number. Food Networks states that heart-healthy olive oil and protein-rich Greek yogurt replaces butter in this lemony pound cake. Egg whites also help cut calories, fat, and cholesterol and whole-wheat flour boost fiber.

Healthy Lemony Yogurt Loaf Cake (Food Network is the source for THIS)

Ingredients

• Nonstick baking spray, for a coating loaf pan

• 1 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour

• 2 teaspoons baking powder

• 1/4 teaspoon fine salt

• 3/4 cup sugar

• Finely grated zest of 1 lemon

• 1/2 cup plain low fat (2-percent) Greek yogurt

• 1/4 cup low fat (1-percent) milk

• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

• 2 large egg whites

• 1 large egg

Preparation

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Coat an 8 1/2- by 4 1/2-inch loaf pan with baking spray.

2. Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl.

3. Put the sugar and lemon zest in another bowl and rub the lemon zest into the sugar with your fingers. 

4. Add the yogurt, milk, olive oil, vanilla, egg whites, and whole egg and vigorously whisk until well blended. 

5. Add the flour mixture into the egg mixture and fold until just incorporated.

6. Transfer to the prepared pan. Bake until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean, about 50 minutes. 

7. Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 5 minutes, and then unmold and cool to room temperature

So, here to Loving the body on not just February 14th but any day & every day. Spread love wherever & whenever you can.  And no better way to spread it than something made from the heart.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

WITH YOUR RUDE @SS (Sober Event Complainers)

I will say I don't know that I know Any complainers. And if I do, Keep Your Complaints to Yourself. Now, I do know that I have talk about people who can't party with alcohol HERE.

I Do Not understand people who have to alcohol at all social events. They can not have a good time unless they can a beverage containing liquor. All of these people I will not call Alcoholics. Some I think do have drinking problems. Some don't drink unless it is at a social event. 

That is not what I think is rude. My true problem is the irate complaints by those that want/need booze about the lack of booze. Have you heard these people? When did it become a civil right act to have alcohol at every social? What gives people the right that they should expect alcohol all the time.

Is it an event type that usually has booze. I laughed & teased the other day about a restaurant that was going to stop having mimosas during it's brunch. The only brunches I know that don't have those are at church. But there is no law that says all restaurants that serve brunch must have mimosas. So, to complain about it is dumb. Go somewhere that does.

Did the organizers or host promise booze? I can't understand questioning it's where about it. I mean if they said it then... But I said questions not complaints. Things happen!!!

Here's a Fact that many drinkers hate to swallow, Everyone Does Not Drink!!!

Yes, I socially drink. I don't have to drink at every social event. I can dance hard, laugh hard, and celebrate love hard with and without Brother Booze. Many people do it.

Oh, let me warn you guys now. When I get married, I am having a Sober Wedding Reception.  As in there will be no alcohol served. If you can't celebrate my nuptials sober, Decline to Come. I have two reasons why I won't be serving liquor.

Alcohol is expensive!!! It is an unnecessary expense to me. You can call me cheap but you want call me having stuff at my wedding I can't afford. Oh and put your "cash bar" fingers down. There is a charge for those somewhere in the contract.

Also everybody does not know how to act with alcohol. Everyone is not a fun but calm drinker.

Some people use booze to fight, curse folks out, and act lewd. Some people just get carried away. You can't plan for how anyone will act anywhere but you don't have to provide added matches. Alcohol in my opinion is an added match.

And whether they said it would be there or not, your complaints are never warranted. Complaining about the lack of liquor is rude. No one owes you booze for you to have a good time. You owe them some respect and not to stress them out about it. And if you can't do that stay home or leave quietly.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

WITH YOUR RUDE @SS is Making a Comeback

Blame Facebook's "On This Day" feature for the Return of WITH YOUR RUDE @SS. It was probably my first series on this blog. There are no pictures or my final signature is not on them at all. I was green (still green) and just blogging my opinion about the stuff I personally thought was rude. I talked about 3 topics.
WITH YOUR RUDE @SS (Big Bust Edition)
WITH YOUR RUDE @SS (Short Hair Edition)
WITH YOUR RUDE @SS (Gay Gossip Edition)

Well sometime this week the newest installment with be posted. And what will the topic be. Here are some hints: Glug Glug, Line Dancing, Cake, Garters.

Leave your guesses down below if you dare. And in the words of Richard Pryor, "We Shall See".

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

2016 Just Started and I Already Have So Much to Say

According to FB, this how my 2015 went. Pretty accurate!!!

Happy New Year!!! So, I ended 2015 physically listening to a Wonderful sermon called "The Grace to be Grounded" from Psalms 1. It has already lead into Bishop Jakes teaching us about "Ground Level Zero" this past Sunday. Bloglly (yes, a made up word that means, In the blog realm), you guys know I let you know how I spent 2015, HERE .

Yeah, as a FBF from high school said, "Ain't no fun when the rabbit has the gun". But in my quest to be better than I was the next year.

And work I shall I do. But gosh people, are you guys trying to keep my opinions very active in 2016. If you follow me on Twitter, you know I have to give my long winded opinion about something since the year started. Well here are some of them.

• For Donald Trump to be running for President, he sure has a lot of time to deal with & think about anyone who talks against him. I mean if he only worried about becoming president, how he would even care to hear who has anything to say? So, let that be my petty reason I won't vote Trump. He'll concern his thoughts with a lot of trivial concerns while doing his job. That's Dangerous!

• False Alarm!!! Beyonce isn't involved at all with a movie about Saartjie Baartman (Don't ask me who this was. It will highly tick me off that you don't know who she was.). It's fine that Beyonce´ is not doing the movie. But my opinion still stands.
  
  Could Beyoncé be the proper person to write & star in a Saartjie Baartman’s story? *sigh* Write- Fine, Sure Star- Nope! Since it is known that Saartjie Baartman was South African, why can't a South African actress be the star? If Beyonce´ is going to tell this story let it be as close to authentic as possible. Beyonce's American self doesn't need to star in it. Oh & I am an American saying this. Just because she has a ample posterior does not make her qualified to be the film's star. If Beyonce stars in a Saartjie Baartman’s story it will be the same as Elizabeth Taylor being Cleopatra. I just don't want Beyonce´ to American wash the Saartjie Baartman’s story. Write it but DO NOT Star in it!!!

• I love how POTUS is just not afraid to leave the White House showing off all of his personality and what he is passionate about. He cried while talking abut his executive plan to make gun control reform. I almost cried when he used the boy who recently lost his life protecting some girls from bullets as an example in his announcement. And then quoted John 15:13 in the example. *tears of pride* There are more reports of why better gun control is needed than what is widely known. I am proud to know POTUS is informed about some them also. And maybe his tears keeps him from "popping off".

• Oh, I play a little box-office catch up. I saw Creed. As a Rocky franchise fan, I'll give it a solid B+ of a movie. The whole next generation, "son of_____" element weared on me. Apollo's son, Tony's son...I was waiting on Drago to have a son and pop up. Oh the guy Donnie fought at the end, where did he tie-in at. It was kind of random to me. I did love that Rocky had a B story other than just training Donny. All & all it was well acted movie. And Hollywood don't have Donnie avenge Apollo's death in a future movie and go fight Drago's son, nephew or cousin. Don't Do Formulaic Crap!!!

• Dear All that Minister Door to Door of All Religions, Faiths, & Creeds: Do Not stand at the door with your back facing it after ringing the bell or knocking. This action says that you don't want to talk about your "Good News". It shows bad manners & poor social skills. This maybe One of the reasons the number of "just didn't have time" is high when you report to your congregational body. Alright, just trying to help you spread your message.

Oh on New Year's Day, I went bowling with some of my family. I had to teach my nephew a lesson on the overuse of trash talk. He didn't believe I took bowling twice in college and made A's. I didn't bowl well but he learned just because he can doesn't mean others can not.

How is the New Year treating you guys so far? Good, I hope. I promise to be as random but informative as I have before. I truly do!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms