That Infamous February Holiday

I have written this post at least 5 times in my head. But there are only so many ways to tell people to lift up their self-worth. So, I took inspiration from a frequently asked question, "Are you that ok with being single"?. Why does that last sentence sound like a minister saying the subject of a sermon? Oh Well, that's what this will be about. And Ushers you may be relieved of your duties. LMBO

You think I don't want to go out with a guy on Valentine's Day or any day for that matter. There are days I wish I was on a date. I would like for a man to ask me for my contact info after we've been flirting in store aisles for 15 minutes. Heck, I was minding my business and he bothered me with his niceness. I want to be held sometimes during cold & rainy weather.

I wonder if the lid to my pot is very warped & damage and has yet to get back to the potter's for fixing. And while worrying about my lid, I also go into the potter's shop when my pot handle needs tightening or to check for a crack or two. Heck I wonder am I the lid or the pot. That example always sounds good to use, but who is who. LoL Then there are times when I think my soulmate has passed me by. Sometimes, I wonder did I bury him already. Oh and don't forget about the learning thoughts after a few dates with or the silent, but yet foolish crushes on men that end up sightly as toxic as those of the past.

And yeah even though they might have to bring it up most of the time, I have a few people to vent to about these feelings & statements, Keyword is Few. My self-worth won't let me voice my being single frustrations to any & everyone.

There is a population that see ocassional open love feelings as misery. And misery loves company to commiserate or to be fixed up not to lonely anymore. Ever had a "I Want to Date" talk that turn into commiserate, feeling sorry for yourself conversation. It makes me feel gross & tired. I hate the feeling that the miserable bring. 

I Love Myself Not to Wallow in Being Single. Being single doesn't mean be sad. It means to use the time do the self-happiness work. Happiness will never mean loathing. I said I have those thoughts sometimes, not all of the time. Having those statements rum through my head is sad. I don't want to be sad. I take a little time to wonder & I get back to work. My life-long love will find or has found me working on me, no matter what.

What will your love find you doing for you?

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

You Sacrificed Eating Meat? (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Recipes)

That's how some sound when you tell them you observe Lent. Lent is a religious observance in the Christian calendar that begins on Ash Wednesday and ends around six weeks later, before Easter Sunday. The purpose is the preparation of the believer through prayer, repentance of sins, and self-denial. Many Christians commit to fasting, by relinquishing certain luxuries in order to replicate the sacrifice of Jesus Christ's time in the desert for 40 days. Many also add a Lenten based reading a daily devotional or praying through a Lenten calendar, to draw themselves near to God. All Christians do not participate in Lent. I was introduced to Lent in college, but didn't fully incorporated into my life until my late 20s.

One of the luxuries given up is eating meat. Most go meat free on Ash Wednesday & every Friday leading up to Easter. Some eat meatless meals all 40 days of Lent. Eating meatless can be difficult, if you let it. Dinner for me can be the hardest, but I pray throu it. Breakfast is easiest, because most of morning meals ideas are meatless. My favorite Lenten recipes are my go to meatless meals, even outside of the season of Lent.

My mother watches food & dining television with & without me. And it is not an unusual sight to see her take mental notes on a recipe. Pecan-Cranberry Salad is the result of her tv watching. It is a bright in flavor & simple to make. 

Pecan-Cranberry Salad

Ingredients:

• 4 cups packed torn fresh spinach
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries
• 1/2 medium white onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup pecan pieces, toasted
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 to 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 1 garlic clove, minced

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, combine the spinach, cranberries, onion, and pecans. 
2. In a small bowl, whisk the oil, vinegar, & garlic, until blended. Drizzle over salad and toss to coat. 
3. Serve immediately.

In classical cooking, this is considered a peasant meal. Pasta Puttanesca means spaghetti for whores in Italian. Traditional puttanesca has anchovies not zucchini in it. I'm not a fan of the little fishes, but zucchini is a good & less salty substitute. Peasants like their blood pressure low.
Zucchini Pasta Puttanesca

Ingredients:

• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 1/2 cup minced onion
• 1 lb linguini
• 3 cloves garlic chopped
• 3/4 cup pitted black olives, chopped
• 1/4 cup green olives, sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1 zucchini, chopped
• 1 ounce can crushed tomatoes 
• 1/3 cup chopped parsley
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Directions:

1. Heat the oil in a large skillet over a medium flame. Add the onions and saute until soft.
2. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to a rolling boil, salt abundantly, and add the pasta. Drain when al dente.
3. Add garlic, olives, zucchini, red pepper flakes and oregano to the skillet, and saute for 2 minutes more.
4. Add the tomatoes and parsley and simmer until sauce is thicken slightly.
5. Transfer the spaghetti to the skillet with the sauce and toss well.
6. Serve immediately.

Imitation Crab a*k*a Krab is actually made with Surimi, a whitefish that is ground then  joined with wheat starch & egg whites to resemble a crab leg. Imitation crap tastes good to me. It is also rather affordable than the seafood it intimidates. And even though the protein is not the highest quality product, it goes great with fresher ingredients like yogurt & celery to make simple dish.

"Crab" Salad with Herb Dressing

Ingredients

• 1 cup of chopped imitation crab
• ¾ cup of plain non-fat yogurt
• 1 Tablespoon of Mrs Dash Onion & Herb
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• ¼ cup carrot, shredded
• 1 celery stock chopped

Directions:

1. In a medium bowl add the crab, yogurt, seasonings, garlic, carrot, & celery.
2. Mix together and chill for at least 1 hour
3. Serve with crackers of your choice

I also like making veggie patties that do not contain beans, peas, or tofu. And thanks to IHop for inspiring my favorite meat-less breakfast, a spinach-mushrooom hashbrown stacker.

No matter how one chooses to commemorate Lent, remember the ultimate sacrifice it symbolizes. An innocent man who laid his life for his friends. That's why I observe Lent, I am his friend.

As AlwaysTalking to You In Adult Terms.

Define Good, Bad, Hoe, & F*ck Boy (Answering Questions)

Time to tick off everyone but maybe me and two others in one post. Oh, also know that I have answered and had follow up discussions with the person who sent in this question. Thank you so much for your mature understanding. *wink*

Q: Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?

A: I HATE this question. I also HATE it's counterpart statements, "Good Guys Finish Last" & "Hoes be Winning".

Has anyone else looked at the pop culture terms frequently used?

• Good Girls
• Bad Boys
• Hoes
• Bad Girls
• F*ck Boys
• Good Man
• Good Guys

Look at who gets a Respectable Adult term. How often is Good Women used in pop culture? Go Figure!!! And because of this, "Good Men" are lead into the idealistic sexist entitled belief, Good belongs with Good.

Oh wait, this post will speak in hetersexual terms but its message is not just to the heterosexual. "Good Men" & "Good Women" in the LGBTQIA+ community have the same beliefs about Good Girls, Hoes, Bad Boys, & F*ck Boys. This is a Human message.

Now do me a favor, define Good & Bad people. Is the definition steeped in stereotypes? Is it based on personal experiences? Do you have tangible definition?

Why do "Good Girls" like "Bad Boys"? Because it is their choice. No one is forced into dating anyone. Also in the dating/romance/love world, there is no where stated that Good must date, screw, or marry Good. "Good Men" are not given first dibs on who "Good Girls" date. "Good Girls" have the only dibs on who they date.

Good People are doing just that, being Good. Good people are

• Honest
• Happy
• Respectful of Others
• Confident
• Emotionally Secure & Open
• Self-Disciplined
• Take Pride in Themselves
• Compassionate

That is a lot of stuff to be responsible for. So apparently, who the other Good people are dating is a quality of a Good person. Good people know that Life is based on the sum total of Learning Experiences. That includes dating & romance. They respect everyone living our own dating equations. Which makes asking, "Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys" a flaw they shouldn't have to ask.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms of

The "Who Proposes" Question

I have this 3X-asked question sitting in my inbox unanswered. "Do I agree with women proposing to men"? Thanks to the lady who proposed to the guy, who said no and whispered to her he was married in a Nigerian mall, this "everyone has an opinion on" topic is on trend again. I have never heard anyone voice my true answer, so I have to actually voice (well type it) it.

No, maybe never will I ever believe a woman should propose to a man. No matter what traditions and misrepresented scriptures say, there are no rules written anywhere that dictate who should propose marriage. Those are not the basis of my opinion. It is based on my observation. I don't agree with it because I have only seen women who are desperate to propose. No Human(Male or Female) Should Propose Marriage Out of Desperation. Even some of the success stories I have read have desperation in them.

They usually have one question based on the proposal, "Why hasn't he proposed yet"?. Until I hear more women confidently say they knew because of the talks their boyfriend & they had together, it was the right time for them to take their relationship to the ultimate step, and most importantly, I Loved Him, I say No. None of this I proposed because he didn't or was slowing around will get my approval. I proposed because I can't see life without him. That's what I want to hear. And if you are doing the relationship work, you should know.

Oh & before you ask, I don't know if I would propose marriage. I don't entertain serious marriage discussions until well into year 2 of consistent dating. And remember, I've never brought a boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner. It would be premature for me to propose and I don't know if 25 people attacking a green bean casserole makes him want to run out the front door.

As Always, Talking to You In Adult Terms.

The Weight of the Ring

I don't talk a lot about my job. I own a small company in the food & diet sector. If you are a reader, you've probably have figured out its name. And yes, there are a few days a year where I put my head down and wonder about my career choices. I think we all have them. Mine usually come after days worth of clients coming in unprepared or I discover a female client wants my help so that her fiance´will propose.

The latter baffles me from no end. Starting year one with my first referred client, I seem to attract ladies who do this. I'm not one to say I've never changed for a man I was seeing. I mean I have a whole POST about doing it. But I still worry about women who feel like if they were slimmer, their SO will propose. I really worry about women who have heard their finances say they will propose to them if they lose weight.

Usually, I choose my money over opinion. I'm plus size in the food & diet world. I'm unmarried. My clients don't pay me to give them advice on their personal lives. But recently, I chose opinion over money. My client's boyfriend came with her to an appointment. The meeting was going well until he said, "Keep working with Ms. *my bio last* and I bet you'll look nice enough for a ring." Before I knew it, I ask him what was he working on for her to accept a ring from him.

He chuckled. She didn't and continued with her questions for me. They left and I put my head down to think. "Should I have said that"? "I bet you'll mind your business next time". "Well, let me re-calculate the budget". Yes when I put my head down, my mind wanders far. Well, I gambled and got to keep my money. The client is still my client and comes prepared. And is she is still dating the guy? I don't know. That didn't come up in her last assessment.

Wishful Me wants the boyfriend to change his mindset about love & body shame. I definitely want my client to change her mindset on self-worth. Changing how one thinks is less painful than heartbreak. But if a break up brings about healthier behavior, heartbreak it is. Healthy minds do influence healthy bodies. And crazy enough, sometimes it's not just your body. But that's my hopeful thought.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Eh, Not That Deep

Events Described are Based on Someone's Real Events

Where are my boring life people at? Ever had a week that was not going right. I mean a week that is heavier than others. For example, you're starting the week with word that a loved one, same age as you was rushed to the hospital because blood was not getting to their head. Then a few days later, you find out you're going to have to eat ticket cost for a beloved event, because of unforeseen life issues. Then the very next day & day of the event, a mailed package for someone who trust you is misdelivered to another address and their signature is forged. The police comes to your home to ask questions and do a theft report.

You want to scream!!! This is way too much for one week. But you don't yell, because perspective comes in and rewire your thoughts. Your relative didn't die. They will have to do therapy & rehab, but they are still here on Earth to do it. You lost the money for one ticket. Yes money costs, but somebody may have loss money for more than one ticket. Also, you were available to meet with the police that evening. And yes, theft is a crime also, but no one was raped, hurt, shot, stabbed, or killed. Turn on the news and someone else was.

The dictionary says perspective is an attitude toward or way of regarding something. It is a point of view on a matter. When you flip your sights on more positive points, your perception turns too.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Soup's On! (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Recipes)

It is Soup & Stew season in my world. More than likely, it is that season in your world, also. Soups & Stews are good & warm ways to get your daily recommendations for vegetables. Adults should consume eight or more servings of fruits and vegetables every day. That's 4 ½ cups. Soups can easily supply that total. Vegetables in soup contain many vitamins, like A and C.

Many soups are low in fat, making them a nice choice for anyone concerned about fat in their diet. Canned soups are nice & convenient, but the sodium levels can be high. I like taking a free quiet & cold afternoon to make soup & stew. I eat some then freeze a few bowls for later days. I put the bowls near the frozen vegetables because those are most of the vegetables I used.

Let's start with my easiest favorite soup recipe, Minestrone Soup. It's vegetable soup and easy to make a side dish to any main dish or be a full meat-less meal.

Minestrone Soup

Ingredients:

• 4 cups vegetable broth
• 4 cups diced tomatoes
• 1 tbsp. chopped fresh basil
• 1/2 tsp. oregano
• 2 carrots, chopped
• 2 stalks celery, chopped
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 3 zucchini, chopped
• 1 cup green beans, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 bay leaf
• Salt and pepper to taste (optional)
• 1 1/2 cups macaroni pasta (or use another small pasta shape such as small shells)

Directions:

1. Place the vegetable broth in a large pot, then add in the diced tomatoes, basil, oregano, carrots, celery, onion, zucchini, green beans, garlic, and the bay leaf.
2. Slowly bring the soup to a low simmer and allow to cook over very low heat for at least 45 minutes and up to one hour.
3. Add the salt and pepper and the macaroni pasta and bring the heat up a bit to a medium-low.
4. Allow to simmer for another 10 to 20 minutes, or until the pasta is done the cooking.
5. Remove the bay leaf before serving

Of course, I have a favorite chicken soup. Chicken soup is the most widely known. I think most cultures have a chicken soup recipe. Noodles are traditional & quinoa is on trend, but my favorite carbohydrate to put in chicken soup is rice. Like frozen vegetables, we keep rice on hand in our home. So, it is very easy for me to add rice.

Chicken & Rice Soup

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped
• 3 large celery stalks, finely chopped
• 2 medium garlic cloves, minced
• 12 cups (3 quarts) chicken broth
• 2 tsp. dried poultry seasoning
• 1 tsp. ground ginger
• 1 1/2 cups wild rice blend
• 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, medium dice
• 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken thighs, medium dice
• 1/4 cup frozen spinach
• 1 cup frozen mixed vegetables
  

Directions:

1. Heat oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. When it shimmers, add onion, carrots, celery, and garlic.
2. Cook, stirring occasionally until onion is softened, about 10 minutes.
3. Add broth, poultry seasoning, ginger, and rice and bring to a boil.
4. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, covered, until rice is tender but still has some firmness, about 25 to 30 minutes.
5. Add chicken and frozen vegetables. Simmer until chicken is cooked through, about 20 minutes.
6. Remove from heat, taste, and season with salt and pepper if desired.

Learning to make beef stew was caused by a mistake. I was making a pot roast on Sunday. Accidentally thinking about another dish, I dumped frozen vegetables in it towards the end. Before serving dinner, I realized my mistake. I sliced the meat and hoped my mistake would be overlooked. My family thought I meant to make stew. Later, I did my research and other people make stew in the oven. Well, the key to making stew is to make it low and slow. An oven will aid you in doing that. Oh & yes, that is a picture of my mistake. LOL

Veggieful Beef Stew

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 tbsp Italian Seasoning
• 1 (3-pound) boneless chuck roast
• 3 tbsps canola oil
• 1 medium yellow onion, large dice
• 1 cup dry red wine
• 4 cups (1 quart) low-sodium beef broth
• 2 bay leaves
• 3 medium carrots, chopped
• 3 medium celery stalks, chopped
• 4 medium Idaho potatoes, chopped
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1/2 cup frozen green beans
• 1/4 cup frozen corn
• Salt & Pepper to taste
  

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°
2. Place 1/4 cup of the flour and the Italian seasoning in a large bowl and whisk to combine; set aside.
3. Trim the roast of excess fat and cut it into 1- to 1-1/2-inch cubes. Place the meat in the flour mixture and toss to coat; set aside.
4. Heat the oil in a large, heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium heat until shimmering.
5. Shake off the excess flour from about one-third of the meat and add it to the pot.
6. Cook, stirring rarely until browned all over, about 4 to 5 minutes. Remove to a large bowl. Repeat with the remaining meat in 2 more batches; set aside.
7. Add the onion to the pot & cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and just starting to brown about 5 minutes.
8. Stir in the 1 tablespoon of flour to coat the onion, and cook for 1 to 2 minutes.
9. Pour in the wine, scrape up any browned bits from the bottom of the pot, and cook until the mixture has thickened, about 3 minutes.
10. Return the meat and any accumulated juices in the bowl to the pot.
11. Add the broth & bay leaves and stir to combine.
12. Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil.
13. Cover pot and bake at 350° for 90 minutes.
14. Cut the carrots, celery, and potatoes into large dice and add them to the pot (peel the carrots and potatoes first, if desired).
15. Stir to combine, cover, & return to oven for 1 hour more or until the vegetables and meat are knife tender
16. Remove and discard the bay leaves. Stir in the frozen vegetables and heat uncovered for 15 minutes.
17. Taste and season with salt and pepper as needed.

So, what are your favorite soups, stew, chowders, or bisques? Let me know in the comments. And don't be shy, share the recipe too. These are my favorite soup & stew recipes. My favorites to eat in New England Clam Chowder & Seafood Gumbo. Oh, and I like making those also. Crazy how a simple dish of liquids & solids can be so cozy.

As Always, Talking to You In Adult Terms