It's a New Year (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

It's that time of the year for people to reset the clock on their lives in some places that need turning around. Some called the process, New Year Resolutions. Some people say, "New Year, New Me". Whatever you call it I just hope " Learning to Cook" or "Teaching the Young People in My Life to Cook" is on that list of things to do. Matter of fact, since this word is on trend, I CHALLENGE You to Learn to Cook and/or Teach a Young Person to Cook. Not cooking is a common issue in my line of work. Yeah, there are healthy ways to eat out but they are null & void if you never eat healthy in. And the children are being affected. Yes, the kids get underfoot but bring them in to learn to cook. Their future depends on it.

The recipes for these posts are healthy updates to traditional New Year's Day recipes for wealth & luck. I feel they shouldn't only be eaten on that day. People talk about eating more non-animal sources of protein. We encourage the masses to eat leafy greens daily. Yet, we only eat a spoonful of peas once a year and our leafy greens are boiled out of their nutrients.

I love black-eyed peas with snaps beans. But like the rest of the canned foods, I don't love the high amounts of sodium & aluminum. Well, I was lucky to have found this recipe.

Black-Eyed Peas with Snaps

Ingredients

• 1 lb shelled black-eyed peas, or 3/4 lbs dried, soaked
• 6 c vegetable broth or water
• 1 large onion, diced
• 1 Tbsp garlic, minced
• 1 Tbsp dried parsley
• 1 Tbsp smoked paprika
• 1 tsp celery powder
• 1/2 c cut green beans (fresh or frozen)
• 2 Tbsp butter or margarine

Directions

1. In a large saucepan bring water, peas, onions, beans, seasoning, and beans to a boil. Save butter or margarine until the end.
2. Reduce heat and cover. Simmer on medium-low heat for 1 hour and 30 minutes or until peas are tender and liquid starts to thicken. Taste for seasonings and add salt if desired.
3. Just before serving, add butter or margarine and stir well.

Gentrified greens & cabbage recipes don't mean they won't have meat in them. We saw those pork pieces in the infamous Neiman Marcus greens a few years ago. But boiling them to death in salted fatted pieces of ham or bacon is still a horrible way to eat them. Yeah, that's not a recipe for Prosperity I want to use.

Healthy Fried Cabbage

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon poultry seasoning
• 2 medium carrots, cut into matchstick size
• 1 medium cabbage, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
• 1/2 cup water

Directions

1. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat.
2. Add onions, garlic, thyme and cook until onion is soft about 2 minutes.
3. Stir in carrots cabbage, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, cayenne pepper and salt
4. Add water, cover and cook for 10 minutes or until cabbage is tender and serve.

Vegan Sauteed Collard Greens

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 pounds collard greens, chopped
• 2 tsp red pepper flakes
• 2 garlic cloves
• 1 tablespoon canola oil
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice, or to taste.

Directions

1. Heat oil in a large saute pan over medium heat. Cook garlic, stirring often, until golden, about 3 minutes. Stir in red pepper flakes, and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
2. Stir in collard greens
3. Reduce heat to medium-low. Add water & lemon and steam, covered, until greens are just tender and evaporate about 10 minutes. If greens are ready but there is still water in the pan, raise heat to medium-high, and cook, uncovered until completely evaporated.

All adults need to know how to cook

and eat in manners that help maintain a healthy life. It all comes with education and willfulness to learn.

So, do OUTSPOKEN_DIVA a favor. Take the Challenge! Learn & Teach about food, whenever you and while you can

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Well, Well 2018

I told folks on my social media accounts on how I treated my timeline like a social experiment this year. In 2016 & 2017 I saw many posts that caused me to wholeheartedly believe in the popular saying, "If It's Not Direct, Don't Respect". And that resulted in how I interacted on social media in 2018. In 2019, my behavior will tell the results. I started to discuss that here, but that seemed overkill. Plus, nobody cares about what I do on social media aka SoMe. So in this blog, let's talk about some of the various "interesting" things I experienced in 2018.

I finally found a "crazy bride" whose actions I agreed within 2018. Here you will read about a Bride kicking guests out of her wedding for not following one rule. Extreme Bridezilla behavior took an L this year. I was one of those handing out those Loses here on this blog. But these guests were wrong and should not have attended. I only gave her 95% of my agreement. Had to dock her for documenting her actions on Reddit. "We" didn't need to know about it.

I had to end a quick dating rapport in the latter part of the spring. I really wasn't that broke up about it. And as I was bopping to my favorite trendy song, "Nice for What" by Drake, my favorite 2018 song came into my life via a web show soundtrack.

I love "Almost Cried" because nobody is angry, begging, or crying. One of the best lyrics said, "I just can't lose no sleep, I got sh*t to do today". They gave it that good college effort, but they together didn't work and it was ok. A breakup song, I could relate to. And the singer, Rob Milton gave me an ❤ on Twitter when I said his song was my jam.

Oh, and I guess I sinned against the dating gods, somewhere. My old behind got a "Merry Christmas" text this year during Christmas dinner. I had been blessed over the years not to get those. Glad that dude said who he was.

#sirwhydoyoustillhavemynumber

Honorable music mention my favorite member of Dru Hill, Jazz. He had a nice love single that came out this summer called All Your Love. It's so good, I've seen a few line dance videos to it. Check out the song HERE and enjoy the melodic goodness.

I mentioned web shows and I thought about my fandom of some web show networks, blogs, podcasts & celebrities had to decrease. A few of them showed themselves to be quite problematic. By the time Fan, Con failed & the Non-existent community(that I am still a part of) was "blamed", I was tired.

By then I found out some of my faves were involved fraud, lying, deception, backbiting, rape, sexual harassment, & domestic violence in their personal lives. And I not just talking about Hollywood, but indie creatives also. There were all these web series, blogs, & publications that weren't paying their staff & guest columnists. Weirdly, enough none of that was exposed until the explosions happened. I questioned my fandom to the point of tears that flowed like the tea that was steady being spilled. Some confessed, took time away, and came back. Some are still hiding. I pulled my interactions back from a few & some I flat out walked away.

Speaking of tears, if in 2018 and you my dear didn't take any "Me Time", "Mental Health Days", "Self Care Moments" or whatever the trendy people call it, Bless Your Heart!!! And don't mean that in the snarky Southern way. I want God to wrap his arms around you and have you rest for a moment. I had to do some serious work to diffuse from the toxic ways of this world. It was warranted and I'm glad I got what I needed.

And yet through it all, I got to check something off my Bucket List. I got to do some Casual Cosplay at a con. I did a blog post about it. Read it HERE, if you haven't. I am so proud that I did it. I can't explain the feeling I felt when people recognize me as Penny Proud. I felt like I did it something right. Every time I see the photos, I see that young Black, fat, nerdy, awkward girl with little money that didn't see her in mainstream media's coverage of cosplaying. I hope one day a future me-like young one sees my pictures and be inspired to do cosplay too.

2018 wasn't the best, but it could have been so much worse. I limped into it achieving a decent mood. I'll leave it with minimal scarring but still pressing toward the goal of being a better person than I was the previous year. The only goal I know I can constantly work on daily, monthly, & yearly.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

How to Bust Your Lover

This probably should've been titled "A Lady-like Influence". But that didn't sound as interesting. Oh well, listen & read anyway.

My favorite in the jazz music genre, Nancy Wilson passed away recently. I grew up listening to her music. As I got older, her music gave me a blueprint on how to handle love like a lady. Because face it I grew up being a good girl not always successfully relating to the dating world. And for 75% of my love life, I've acted like a lady. No matter how the dating rules change, I handle romantic rapports with as much regal decorum as possible.

But it's that 25% where life's stories get interesting. I've only had to do the breaking up in one of my committed relationships. Most of them mutually ended or somebody was ghosted. So, I just knew I would handle it like the song featured, "Guess Who I Saw Today" by Ms. Nancy Wilson. It's one of the songs she gained her notoriety with and it's one of my favorites. I "studied" the lyrics as a teenager. Well one morning in my mid-20s, my then boyfriend's infidelity evidence was in my possession. If you know me or a long time reader, I've never snooped on a lover yet the needed reasons to break up are always provided to me. I called him and he didn't answer. When he did, I started out mild.

Him: Hey Baby Girl.

Me: Baby Girl is Dead.

Him: Do What?

Me: I have something for you to hear.

The rest of the straight to the point story is obvious. My sister said briefly she heard me say, "It's over you bastard" from two aisles over. *sigh* I was not supposed to get loud on the phone in the grocery store. But I had to end his foolishness right then. Hey, it was not my fault. He should have answered the phone when I was calm.

Don't Confront Your Lover Like Outspoken_Diva. Bust Your Lover Like Nancy Wilson.

Maybe the next time a situation that calls for some Nancy Wilson wisdom, I will remember my studies. Like if I ever have to fight another woman for a man. I want to remember the lyrics to "You Can Have Him" and not fight. Or if somebody asks to quantify my love for my man, I need to say,

"My love has no beginning, my love has no end

No front or back and my love won't bend"

from her song, "How Glad I Am".

I have to hold onto my studies because Ms. Nancy Wilson, "There Will Never Be Another You". You were the song stylist we needed to keep balance to life and love. Rest Well, Lady.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

I'm Sorry Your Granddaddy Had Two Families, But...

This post should have been made a long time ago. If you know me personally, you know the statement "Your Granddaddy Cheated on Your Grandma and They Stayed Together", grates my nerves. It is the cheater's motto if ask me. One day I'm going to do the research and find out the percentage of the granddaddies that actually committed adultery. My grandfather didn't cheat on my grandmother. First of all, no extra aunts and uncles came up at PauPau's funeral. Second, many men testify to/tease about his faithfulness to Granny. Third, after a stay-at-home wife, five kids & bills were taken care of, his ability to financially afford to cheat was low. That woman would've had very low standards. But I know/ have known quite a few grandfathers & grandmothers that did cheat. Some of the spouses stayed, some didn't.

But what grates my nerves is the fact this phenomenon is flounced around like it is a righteous act. Your granddaddy cheated and your grandmother stayed and kept the marriage & family together. *deep sigh* I want those of you who have bought into that belief to look at your family. Do you know if you can freely date anyone and not worry if that is your sibling, cousin, aunt, or uncle? Have you ever wondered why your great aunts & uncles talk to your granddaddy like he ain't crap?

Ever wonder why your grandparents don't sleep in the same bedroom. Have you ever seen your grandfather grocery shop and have to separate the groceries at the counter by household. Oh, I knew a man who had to do that. Wife was in the hospital, his other woman was working, and the shopping had to be done.

And what do you think that did to that man's bank account? Oh but all you knew was Maudea stayed. Grandmother may have had to have a hysterectomy. Do you know some of those surgeries are because of STDs brought to wives by a philandering husband? Have you ever considered your grandmother's feelings? Do you know if she ever wanted to leave PopPop? Go ask your beloved Meemaws, if you can. I Dare You!!!

There was also a time people got married at 14 years old. And women had to go to a Red tent during their menstrual cycle. And men were the only ones in the family that worked. And fathers gave up their meals for their children not to starve.

Face it! All of you that believe that statement just want to justify cheating! And that's the best B.S. you can come up with. Where is your grandmother with a switch to tan your tails?

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

The Christmas Faker

I'm going to revisit a topic I talk about years ago. I Was ____ Years Old when I Stopped Believing in Santa. A reader emailed me the question and I decided to talk about it again. Well, copy, paste and edit the original post. *wink* Oh, I'll give you new pictures.

I can't even figure out how I believed in Santa Claus as long as I did. Muh Diva admits that she had no plans of teaching us about Santa. But since she had active grandparents like ours beating her to the punch on that lesson, she just rolled with it. Even then that should've just explained why my sister and older cousins believed in Santa. There is a 7 year age distance between my sister, A and me, but I guess she was taught not to ruin it for me. There were so many signs that he didn't exist in my home. Every year my mother would call me in to pick out 5 things out of the JC Penney or Sears Christmas catalogs, so she could call Santa with her order. Common sense said she was calling the store. I also grew up in in a home with gas heaters. So, when I asked how did Santa get in our home, I was told by Muh Diva that he had a special doorbell that only adults could hear. Gosh, I was impressionable.

8 Years Old
Christmas Night

But leave it to "Foundation" church to haphazardly disprove my belief in Santa. We had Santa Claus appearances at our programs. I think even in a few plays, he was the "narrator" of the plays that taught us about the true meaning of Christmas. Our usual Sunday School teacher, my mother's buddy, we will call in this blog post, Aunt Erika was absent one Sunday. Well, Sister Kevin, the youth program playwright (RIP) (Yes, a blog post name) was our substitute. Sis. Kevin decided to have question & answer time. Somebody asked was Santa real. And she said Jesus was Santa Claus. He was responsible for giving us all our gifts, Now, as an adult, I understand what she was trying to say. But I was not an adult then. I knew then something was up. I came home and told my mother and she asked who told me that and shook her head. So, I started paying attention and all the signs became clear. There Was No Santa. I was eight years old.

I kept my mouth closed for a year. But when I did reveal my disbelief, I smarted off. The truth about Santa got "very real" that Christmas morning. After everyone else finished opening gifts, my mother brought out a large gift bag saying Santa said he almost forgot since I didn't believe. I have a feeling my mother conspired with Pau-Pau Santa & Granny Claus in hiding All my gifts. LoL After that when I was called in and asked what I wanted out of the catalog, Muh Diva placed the order in front of me.

That my Santa disbelief story. I do wholeheartedly believe the true message of a baby that was born to save me from my sins. I don't remember ever disbelieving in that story. No matter what is not received on Christmas or in life, even, If one has Jesus that will always be enough.

Alrighty!!! You guys have a great holiday. Oh and share your "I Was ___ Years Old When I Stopped Believing In Santa" stories below in the comments.

Merry Christmas!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Holidays of a Problematic Past!!!

Boy, there is nothing like being "Woke" or "Waking Up" during the holidays. And I am so happy to watch this stuff unfold. I needed the laughs.

Everyone wants to find issues with some of the "Classics" now. Well, this was some of the ways I thought in high school and caused my peers to look and talk about me crazy. If you ever pay attention, not one classic is ever on my list of favorites.

Franklin at Thanksgiving: I like Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving. Just to see Peppermint Patty's boisterous & ungrateful butt get told off by Marcie is heart-warming. She really thought a child & some animals could make a turkey. But recently, pop culture finally saw the character, Franklin was separated from the group at the table.

First of all, this was made in 1973. All you needed was to see one non-white face and that call inclusion. But I knew when I saw Franklin walk in and give Charlie Brown and a cool handshake that the black experience was shown subtly. In 1973, parts of black life & its experience were still separate. And his placement at the table was one of those small images. Oh and shout out to the website, The Root for getting an interview with Mr. Franklin Armstrong. Read the tea & his advice, HERE.

Baby, It's Cold Outside: Well, Me Too! I never understood why this song shows up during the holidays. It's not even a Holiday song. Listen to the words and then delete your argumentive comments or emails. Speaking of the lyrics, they could be understood as rape-like. So the listeners of the radio station that voiced their opinion as told in THIS article, won't get a major finger shake from me. The song is a little outdated. It is not timeless.

It also came out when women were still thought of as demure and innocent. Only floozies stayed out late with a man. Also, it was a time when men could rape women and girls and the victims could be at fault. And with all his begging and he gives her a questionable drink, the male character would seem sketchy. The song could get the boot everywhere and I wouldn't miss it. And yes, you can call me cold.

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer: When I was in high school, somebody trying to be funny asked me if I thought Rudolph's nose was red because he snorted cocaine. It was the popular joke of thought at the time, but it bored me. So, my sarcastic mouth said, "No, Rudolph just needed better self-esteem and he should've told Santa to kiss his ass". I messed up that kid's joke and was then called an effed-up weirdo. The amazing 90s, where drug use is humorous & bullying quietly ruled the day.

I still stand by my theory and now the "It Gets Better" movement feels somewhat the same way. Nobody was nice to Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer until they needed him. And I am sorry, but Santa was aware of how the other reindeer treated him. He was just as complicit. But Rudolph had a softer heart than I and flew through the night with his bullies. I wonder if I could write some fan fiction about Rudolph's negotiations after flying on Christmas in fog. Then maybe it can become a holiday special for all to watch.

If you think about it, all of our childhood has problematic spots in them. But the wise poet-laureate Maya Angelou said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better". The holidays of the past have their own traditions and now it's time to rewrite them and make new ones if we so wish. And that's that. Now, I'll just wait for someone to call Ella Fitzgerald and Nancy Wilson female empowerment icons for asking a guy out for New Year's Eve. And if you write the article after reading this, consider the topic a gift.

Happy Holidays!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

$22 a Plate

This is why my family usually have a themed potluck buffet. Because we've been there and done that. And this type of topic comes up every year during the holiday in so many places. A mother charges €17 ($22 in American) for Christmas lunch. Don't take my word for it, read about it HERE.

Have you seen the prices to have a holiday meal brought in? If you don't, go Google the pricing at some of your favorite restaurants who offer that service. €17 is about right.

I don't know what it is about the dynamic of having the holiday catered. It always brings about the person(s) who have a problem with paying money.

Many of them have never been required to contribute to the meal or bring the bare minimum. Nothing like the "I brought the sodas" people complaining about the cost of anything. Some you will find out what they were contributing was actually free to them. I know some people who didn't mind bring the turkey or ham for years. But when the event was catered, it came out that the meat they were bringing was from places that gave away turkeys or hams.

And many who complain don't understand and maybe don't care about why the meal is being catered. Who says that the host's oven is not broke? That's happened in my home a few times. Maybe the host just wanted not to be tired this year.

Either way, this is her decision. Pay the €17 or don't visit. Convenience Cost! And soon as everyone learns that, maybe this topic won't light up the Internet every year.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms