When You're Ready to Have This Talk...Let Me Know

It irks me to no end to hear my tall (& big) male friends be asked if they played sports in school. I don't remember hearing people not asking the tall (& big) that. Like there aren't other interests, jobs, & professions to have. 

I remember at Lamar University, my "college dad" asked my friend, NB, who is 6'5", I think, if he was on the basketball team. I remember being quietly embarrassed, but I observed how normal of a question that was to everyone else. He explained while saying No, that he was used to the question because people have been conditioned to think tall folks are only good for sports. He told us stories of the people from his small hometown who thought he was doing his mother a disservice by not being in sports. NB has a Bachelor's in Psychology and is a teacher.

Young Women also!

I'm not saying sports are bad. I'm a fan. My nephew plays them. He also wants to develop video games. I'm saying the mindset is messed up. While signing your son up for Little Dribblers because he was 19 inches at birth, pay attention to why he is asking you for K'nex & Lego sets in the store & taking apart & putting back together the lamp all the time. While he's running track because he walking bow-legged as a toddler, look into those 90's he is making in Biology & Chemistry. Those are just grades to stay on the team or "fall back" plans if he doesn't go to the Olympics. Those might be his real dreams.

This sports "ticket out of poverty" viewpoint has to end. I think elitists & racists started this crap. A change in this perspective may have helped this one guy from my 20s, who told me I was being unsexy because I was unclogging a sink late one night when he called. Wonder if he's still sitting around all day reminiscing about his sports heyday. My sink is not still stopped up.

Probably the "wokest" post to date. LoL I don't plan on getting many agreements on this post.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

I Didn't Know (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

There is no video to this post. Started typing and I forgot. LoL

So, I had to move out of the fetal position and do the grocery shopping on the day before Valentine's Day. I turned onto the pasta & soup aisle and the truth was right before my eyes. There wasn't a jar of Alfredo sauce on the shelves. Not One Jar! I got my pasta shells, but I made a note to talk about this.

That was funny but odd. Why is this so common that it can be a meme? I never cooked for a date or S.O. for Valentine's Day, so I had no clue. I got them dudes cologne, books, & candy cards. But I never cooked. Plus, I'm not a fan of Parmesan cheese so I rarely make anything using basic Alfredo. But I do have a recipe to help whoever needs it. Because clearly this is a staple dish for the relationship holiday.

Easy Alfredo-Style Sauce

Ingredients

• ½ cup butter
• 1 (8 oz) package cream cheese
• 1 Tbsp garlic powder
• 2 cups milk
• 6 oz Italian Cheese blend (I use Kraft)
• ⅛ tsp ground black pepper

Directions

1. Melt butter in a medium, non-stick saucepan over medium heat.
2. Add cream cheese and garlic powder, stirring with wire whisk until smooth.
3. Add milk, a little at a time, whisking to smooth out lumps.
4. Stir in cheese blend and pepper.
5. Remove from heat when sauce reaches desired consistency.
6. Sauce will thicken rapidly, thin with milk if cooked too long.
7. Toss with hot pasta to serve.

Alright, learn & practice this recipe before next Valentine's Day. I don't want you to make a meme true. Y'all, not one jar was on the shelf.

Alright, Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Practice Your Love Language On... Yourself?

I recently read a thread on Twitter(HERE) about practicing the 5 love languages on yourself. I couldn't agree with that tweet more. Now that I think about it, we should speak to ourselves in that language all the time. 

Oh wait, I have met guys who have no clue the Love Languages are. And there are the tongue-in-cheek jokes. So, let me give a description.

Everyone communicates & accepts love differently. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, PhD, in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. The love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love: quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Now, how you love on you with them.

Physical Touch How do you feel when you touch yourself? Now, if you think I am referring to masturbation, I won't shame you, but let me gear your thinking elsewhere for a moment. Imagine massaging your body when you wash or put lotion on it. Caress your scalp when you wash it.  Make the bed with sheets right out of the dryer before bedtime and revel in feeling cozy. And put on something you know feels good on your skin, sometimes.

Acts of Service What do you do for yourself? It is more than treating yourself to a shopping spree. It can address any physical or mental health concerns. One way is to focus on your mental health is by organizing parts of your life, like tidying up your world. Maybe unfriend, unfollow, block, or mute any people or things that are toxic. Those are never good. And also take that need a nap. They aren't for just being tired.

Receiving Gifts What do you give yourself? Do you splurge on you sometimes? This is about you, so it should be something you want or have always wanted to do. Gift yourself something fulfilling and invest in your improvement. There is nothing wrong with that.

Words of Affirmation Have you ever called yourself stupid more than you praise yourself? There is a gospel song that says;

Sometimes You Have to Encourage Yourself 

We all have our stories, struggles, & accomplishments. Jot down distinct things you appreciate about yourself. It’s important to reflect on these parts that make up who we are and how much resilience we have. And Pay attention to your language. Choose to speak life into yourself.

Quality Time Surprise! Most people don't know if they would enjoy their own company. We love schedules. To the point, we are overloaded with time-consuming activities. And we don't even enjoy ourselves while doing them. Probably why we don't know if we would actually hang out with ourselves. Focus on enjoyable me-activities that allow you to decompress & get to know you, the real you. Probably during that mental health day that keeps getting postponed.

How else should we give ourselves self-love, if we don't speak to us in a manner we would understand? How do you know your primary language or what languages are you proficient in? I mean practice does make perfect. How do you teach others? You don't know it yourself.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

A PWI's Bitter Ball Had No Answer (Answering Questions)

That is probably the most creative title I have had to date. I'm so proud. Aren't you too? You better not say No.

Q: Why did you choose not to go to an HBCU? Would you go to one if you had a do-over?

A: This question was originally suppose to be recorded. But I kept talking over my allotted time for it. I've apologized to the person who asked it, but I'm so sorry that I have type this answer. I really appreciate how this question was asked. It's not the usual HBCU vs PWI format. But I've talked about it HERE before in 2015. And my feelings are the same. Finances, My Life Experiences, and What Schools Made Me Tingle when I was in high school are the base reasons why I chose where I went to school. And I Will Never Regret Going to a PWI. My college years were just right for me. But then I'm a person with very few regrets in life.

This Post's Q&A Video

If You Can't See the Video, Click HERE

Don't forget, if you have any questions, email them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below or on the social media site where you see this post. I will answer them. 

Subscribe to the Youtube Channel!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Cornbread Dressing...Soul Food? (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

If You Don't See the Video, Click HERE

Cornbread Dressing & Greens Casserole

Ingredients

• 1 medium onion, diced
• 3 stalks celery diced
• 1 large bunch (about 10 ounces) collard, mustard, turnip, or mixed greens
• 1 medium clove garlic, pressed or minced
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 1/2 tablespoons poultry or salt-free Italian seasoning
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 2 cups cornbread (broken into pieces)
• 1 cup vegetable or chicken broth
  
  
  

Directions

1. Gather the ingredients and preheat the oven to 400 F.
2. Prepare the greens: Cut the thick center rib out of each green. Stack the rib-less greens and roll them up into a cigar-like shape. Slice over the “cigar” as thinly as possible (⅛″ to ¼″) to make long strands. Shake up the greens and give them a few chops so the strands aren’t so long.
3. Lightly grease a large casserole or baking dish then set aside
4. Saute the onion and the celery in the vegetable oil for 3 to 5 minutes or just until almost soft.
5. Add the garlic to the pan and cook for 1 minute. Add the greens, stir reduce heat to low, and cook for 5-7 minutes, until wilted, stirring occasionally. If you like them softer, cook for 10-15 minutes.
6. In a large mixing bowl, combine the seasoning with the cornbread, mixing everything well to combine.
7. Add the green mixture and stir to combine.
8. Add in the broth just until the bread mixture is lightly moistened, adding more or less broth as needed.
9. Transfer to your prepared large casserole or baking dish and bake for 20-30 minutes.
10. Enjoy

So again, start making this dish immediately if you want to "WoW" the people during Thanksgiving. And I don't want any of you being a viral video getting cursed out or teased because you messed up a dish. And if you do, OUTSPOKEN Diva didn't give you that recipe. LoL

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

But Not in Love With Love Jones

I never have been. I won't call it trash, but it is overrated, to say the least. Don't get me wrong it is a beautiful visual. But Love Jones is not the boy meets girl feel-good story for me. I have felt that way since I watched it 20 plus years ago. I remember watching it alone on premium cable the summer after it premiered. I was home taking summer classes at the community college downtown. I was in a sweet, budding relationship. And even wore my hair the ways Nia Long wore her hair in the movie. I was a flipped hair & side part under fanatic. I don't know why I used the word, Was. Lol But I still remember feeling like I Never wanted a Love Jones type of love. 

And for years, I kept my assessment of this beloved movie to myself.

Within the past year, I heard others in my Xennial (Late Gen Xers & Early Millenials) age peer group say that they feel the same way. I felt like I finally found my tribe. So, before I wrote this post I decided to watch Love Jones with 40+ eyes. Because I think the last time I fully watched the movie was maybe 8 years ago. I knew I felt like:

• Darius Stalked Nina.
• Nina was messy.
• Hollywood broke Friendship Code & was not chin-checked hard enough.
• Matter of fact, why was Hollywood ever in the friend group? What did he bring to the table?
• So, no one thought a married Savon hung out with the homies a little too much.
• A black woman choosing love in the rain over her hair getting rain-drenched is soul-crushing.
• Shelia was the wisest person of them all.

My opinion still holds up!!!

I wish people would tell the truth. Fans of Love Jones only call this movie a classic in the Black Community, because of the cast and soundtrack. Oh, the soundtrack is great. The acting is good also. And though my thighs still need blues in the left & funk in the right, the story itself is not relationship goals folks should want, in my opinion. The only lessons I always take away from this movie are:

• When you meet someone and they use timing & complicated in the reason they are unavailable to date, Believe Them.
• Pay attention to the advice coming from your friend circle.
• Learn to detach your heart from your sex organs if it's going to be just a "sex thing".
• Poetry is a creative but not sustainable way to effectively communicate.

So, do you like the movie, Love Jones? How do you truly feel about it? Let's chat about it in the comments below or on the social media platform you see this on.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

A Little Dry (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

Mockmosa

Ingredients

• 64 fl oz orange juice
• 24.5 fl oz sparkling white grape juice

Directions

1. Pour the orange juice into a jug and then pour in the sparkling white grape juice.
2. Serve in a glass of your choice

Virgin Tropical Bellini

Ingredients

• 11.3 fl oz can mango nectar
• 11.3 fl oz can guava nectar
• 1-liter bottle ginger ale

Directions

1. Refrigerate the juices and ginger ale.
2. In a large container or punch bowl mix together the mango and guava nectar; wait until ready to serve to add the ginger ale.

Sometimes the mainstream forgets some people can't, don't, won't drink alcohol. And just because they are living a temperance lifestyle doesn't mean that they have to have non-imaginative drinks only. I truly hope you enjoy the non-alcoholic beverage options.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!