If He Were Handsome...

If you have already boxed me into a Good Girl crate and/or are the gossipy type, LEAVE NOW! THANKS FOR the CLICK But I'm NEVER in the Mood.

Side-Eye Time

Have you heard about the pastor who stepped down from his church position because he said wives need to stay as sexy as they can for husbands if they don't want their husbands to cheat, in the pulpit of his former church? 

You haven't? Go read about it HERE, HERE, & HERE and come back.

This is the attitude about women that has ruled life for too long. I've noticed that I went on first dates or meet-ups with no makeup, no weaves or wigs, no fragrances, and no heels ("Let him see the real package he's possibly getting") because of this type of belief. I know a few women who don't sleep with protective hair scarves or pillowcases because they have a man. I have had a ring awaiting girlfriends as business clients that were told if they lose a little weight they would get the ring.

One of my favorite bloggers & podcasters
just posted this right before I finished this post.
WoW!!!

And this behavior & statements come from the gender that has members who come over to a planned "sleepover" without pajamas and/or a change of clothes. These are the words from the gender who have spouses frequently commenting on their raggedy underwear that is constantly worn and not thrown away. Hopefully, this pastor who suggests wives at least look like "participant trophies", does not have feces stains in his clothing that have been scrubbed or soaked. That gender has members that do that.

That's How Childish Some Men Sound

The Nerve! And put your out-of-context Biblical texts away. I read the word. First Corinthians 7:4a is used a lot. What about the "b" part of the passage? If wives are to keep it right and tight for her husband, what does a husband do for her? Faithfulness is not a fair trade. Exodus 20:14 takes care of that for both partners. What you else got?

....this sermon would still be very misogynistic & gross. No matter how he looks this sermon shouldn't have happened. I just titled this post that to get you guys here. So put your "Angry with Outspoken Diva" reply fingers & thumbs away, this time. This Time! LoL

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Not Yo Pot Roast

If You Can't See the Video, Click HERE

Pot Roast Nacho Dip

Ingredients

• 3 lb boneless chuck roast
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tbsp cumin powder**
• 1 tbsp ancho chili powder**
• 1 tsp garlic powder**
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper**
• 2 (10 oz) can diced tomatoes with chiles, lime & cilantro, drained & reserve the juice, such as Ro-Tel
• 1/2 cup beef broth**
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 (15 oz can) Cheddar Cheese Sauce
• 1 (15-oz) can of pinto beans, drained

Directions

1. Season the meat with the spices** into the meat by hand. Add a little oil to a hot skillet. Then add the meat to the pan and brown well on both sides.
2. Remove the meat from the skillet and place it in the slow cooker.
3. Add the tomatoes to the pan you browned the meat in and simmer it for a minute or two and scrape all the meaty bits from the bottom of the pan.
4. Add the tomatoes from the pan along with beef broth**, the juice from the tomatoes, and the onions to the slow cooker and place the roast on top.
5. Cook the on High for 3-5 hours or 5-8hrs on Low.
6. Shred beef with two forks and toss to coat with the juices
7. Stir in the beans and cheese. Cover and let cook on high until melted, about 1 hour.
8. Serve with tortilla chips.

**Packaged Taco Seasoning can be used in place of the spices. If used, use low or no sodium beef broth.

Such a yummy dip. Just add a simple salad to make it a meal. And remember if you try this or any recipe on the blog, let me know in the comments on here or the social media site you see the post on.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Because Prathia Prayed, A Salute

I was watching The Black Church on PBS (Great documentary, Total Recommendation) one Sunday and I discovered a little-known figure in American history. This person is a woman, a black woman by the name of Prathia Hall-Wynn. You may not know her name but you know four of her words, I Have A Dream.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was visiting Terrell County, Georgia to speak at Mt. Olive Baptist Church, in 1963. The church had been burned down by the KKK. Prathia Hall-Winn, a college-age volunteer with SNCC (Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee) was invited to pray. Through her prayer, she shared her personal vision of what she wanted in Black America. In her prayer, she used the phrase, “I Have A Dream” many times. Dr. King loved Prathia’s prayer. He was very impressed with her use of the phrase, “I Have A Dream”. King would later incorporate “I Have A Dream” into some of his speeches. The phrase was reported to have been a usual part of King’s sermons. Most notably used in the 1963 civil rights marches by Dr. King; “Walk To Freedom” and “March on Washington”.

Prathia Hall-Winn grew up in Philadelphia. Her father was Reverend Berkeley Hall, an emotional supporter of racial justice. She finished her college studies at Temple University to join the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee (SNCC).

After marrying Ralph Wynn, Prathia then earned a Master of Divinity, Master of Theology, and Ph.D. from Princeton Theological Seminary. After her father’s death, she accepted the call to pastor his church, Mount Sharon Baptist Church in Philadelphia. Hall-Winn became one of the first women ordained in the American Baptist Association. She was a visiting scholar at the Interdenominational Theological Center and later joined the faculty at United Theological Seminary in Dayton, Ohio, eventually becoming dean of the seminary and director of The Harriet Miller Women's Center. Prathia Hall-Winn died on August 12, 2002, following a long illness.

Of Prathia Hall-Winn, Dr. King is quoted as saying the statement in the picture above. He admired her speech style.

Somebody prayed for me, had me on their mind,

They took the time and prayed for me.

I'm so glad they prayed

I'm so glad they prayed for me

Prathia Hall-Winn had to be the epitome of this song. Because I am so glad she went to the throne of grace with her vision. And I am glad her words inspired Dr. King's speeches. Decades later those prayers especially those four words, I Have a Dream are still hugging this nation, the USA.

I Salute You, Prathia Hall-Winn!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

My Favorite 5 Black Movies of All Time

There are movies I love. Many of them are Black films. Who doesn't like seeing parts of themselves on screen? Who doesn't like being inspired while being entertained? And those probably the main criteria for this particular faves list.

Oh, if there were a Top 10 these movies would make the list. They're are Claudine, The Last Dragon, Madea's Family Reunion, The Wood, & Love & Basketball. Oh, and number 11 is Menace to Society.

Now, let's get into the top 5.

5. The Fighting Temptations I first saw this movie at a sneak peek showing and I loved it ever since. I know I first watched it for the star-power. But after I saw it, I knew it was a story about offbeat church folks beating the odds. And you know quirky church people are my people.

4. (Tie) Crooklyn & Polly I am a sucker for a coming-of-age story. And these two stories are the best. Polly tells the story of a child that changes her world. Crooklyn is a story about a child who is changed by her world. Who can't relate to that?

3. She Hate Me Yes, it is the movie that put Anthony Mackie on my Eye Candy List(even though he not on it now). Gosh, he oozes sexiness all in this movie. Baby, Come and Get it!!! But, that's not why I love this film. What secrets do you think Big Pharma is hiding? Sheeit...This movie will open your eyes.

2. Deliver Us From Eva In a previous post, "Yep, She was Black & Nerdy & Awkward. And You Loved Watching Her" (Read it HERE) and I talk about the nerdy qualities of the main character, Eva Davenport. That is one of the reasons I am drawn to this piece of cinema. The other is that this film is about the effects of being dedicated to family & forgetting yourself & your heart. And I still jam out the oranges' anthem "Ain't No Stoppin' Sunshine" by Yoli almost 15 years later.

1. Amour Infinity It's not just my Favorite Black movie. It is my Favorite Movie of All Time. It is an indie gem that will reinforce the feelings in the coldest of hearts. And confirms emotions in the warmest ones. It is honest about love & the people that experience it. And I Appreciate That. And because I love my readers, I'll let you know you can watch it HERE.

Yeah, my list doesn't have the most popular Black movies on it. I am not the Belly type. And The Color Purple is a nice movie but not one of my favorites. That's another reason this list is mine. What is your favorite Black film? I know you have one. Tell me in the comments on this post or on the social media site that you see this.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

When You're Ready to Have This Talk...Let Me Know

It irks me to no end to hear my tall (& big) male friends be asked if they played sports in school. I don't remember hearing people not asking the tall (& big) that. Like there aren't other interests, jobs, & professions to have. 

I remember at Lamar University, my "college dad" asked my friend, NB, who is 6'5", I think, if he was on the basketball team. I remember being quietly embarrassed, but I observed how normal of a question that was to everyone else. He explained while saying No, that he was used to the question because people have been conditioned to think tall folks are only good for sports. He told us stories of the people from his small hometown who thought he was doing his mother a disservice by not being in sports. NB has a Bachelor's in Psychology and is a teacher.

Young Women also!

I'm not saying sports are bad. I'm a fan. My nephew plays them. He also wants to develop video games. I'm saying the mindset is messed up. While signing your son up for Little Dribblers because he was 19 inches at birth, pay attention to why he is asking you for K'nex & Lego sets in the store & taking apart & putting back together the lamp all the time. While he's running track because he walking bow-legged as a toddler, look into those 90's he is making in Biology & Chemistry. Those are just grades to stay on the team or "fall back" plans if he doesn't go to the Olympics. Those might be his real dreams.

This sports "ticket out of poverty" viewpoint has to end. I think elitists & racists started this crap. A change in this perspective may have helped this one guy from my 20s, who told me I was being unsexy because I was unclogging a sink late one night when he called. Wonder if he's still sitting around all day reminiscing about his sports heyday. My sink is not still stopped up.

Probably the "wokest" post to date. LoL I don't plan on getting many agreements on this post.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

I Didn't Know (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

There is no video to this post. Started typing and I forgot. LoL

So, I had to move out of the fetal position and do the grocery shopping on the day before Valentine's Day. I turned onto the pasta & soup aisle and the truth was right before my eyes. There wasn't a jar of Alfredo sauce on the shelves. Not One Jar! I got my pasta shells, but I made a note to talk about this.

That was funny but odd. Why is this so common that it can be a meme? I never cooked for a date or S.O. for Valentine's Day, so I had no clue. I got them dudes cologne, books, & candy cards. But I never cooked. Plus, I'm not a fan of Parmesan cheese so I rarely make anything using basic Alfredo. But I do have a recipe to help whoever needs it. Because clearly this is a staple dish for the relationship holiday.

Easy Alfredo-Style Sauce

Ingredients

• ½ cup butter
• 1 (8 oz) package cream cheese
• 1 Tbsp garlic powder
• 2 cups milk
• 6 oz Italian Cheese blend (I use Kraft)
• ⅛ tsp ground black pepper

Directions

1. Melt butter in a medium, non-stick saucepan over medium heat.
2. Add cream cheese and garlic powder, stirring with wire whisk until smooth.
3. Add milk, a little at a time, whisking to smooth out lumps.
4. Stir in cheese blend and pepper.
5. Remove from heat when sauce reaches desired consistency.
6. Sauce will thicken rapidly, thin with milk if cooked too long.
7. Toss with hot pasta to serve.

Alright, learn & practice this recipe before next Valentine's Day. I don't want you to make a meme true. Y'all, not one jar was on the shelf.

Alright, Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Practice Your Love Language On... Yourself?

I recently read a thread on Twitter(HERE) about practicing the 5 love languages on yourself. I couldn't agree with that tweet more. Now that I think about it, we should speak to ourselves in that language all the time. 

Oh wait, I have met guys who have no clue the Love Languages are. And there are the tongue-in-cheek jokes. So, let me give a description.

Everyone communicates & accepts love differently. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, PhD, in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. The love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love: quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Now, how you love on you with them.

Physical Touch How do you feel when you touch yourself? Now, if you think I am referring to masturbation, I won't shame you, but let me gear your thinking elsewhere for a moment. Imagine massaging your body when you wash or put lotion on it. Caress your scalp when you wash it.  Make the bed with sheets right out of the dryer before bedtime and revel in feeling cozy. And put on something you know feels good on your skin, sometimes.

Acts of Service What do you do for yourself? It is more than treating yourself to a shopping spree. It can address any physical or mental health concerns. One way is to focus on your mental health is by organizing parts of your life, like tidying up your world. Maybe unfriend, unfollow, block, or mute any people or things that are toxic. Those are never good. And also take that need a nap. They aren't for just being tired.

Receiving Gifts What do you give yourself? Do you splurge on you sometimes? This is about you, so it should be something you want or have always wanted to do. Gift yourself something fulfilling and invest in your improvement. There is nothing wrong with that.

Words of Affirmation Have you ever called yourself stupid more than you praise yourself? There is a gospel song that says;

Sometimes You Have to Encourage Yourself 

We all have our stories, struggles, & accomplishments. Jot down distinct things you appreciate about yourself. It’s important to reflect on these parts that make up who we are and how much resilience we have. And Pay attention to your language. Choose to speak life into yourself.

Quality Time Surprise! Most people don't know if they would enjoy their own company. We love schedules. To the point, we are overloaded with time-consuming activities. And we don't even enjoy ourselves while doing them. Probably why we don't know if we would actually hang out with ourselves. Focus on enjoyable me-activities that allow you to decompress & get to know you, the real you. Probably during that mental health day that keeps getting postponed.

How else should we give ourselves self-love, if we don't speak to us in a manner we would understand? How do you know your primary language or what languages are you proficient in? I mean practice does make perfect. How do you teach others? You don't know it yourself.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!