Sexless Misconcetions That You Refuse to Accept

I'm celibate and it's so effing unnerving the thoughts people have about celibacy & abstinence. Ok, this post has been a long time coming. But since Most times explaining "Me" to clarify assumptions annoy me. It's like wasting words that won't keep me out of the non-defining box another's thoughts of me created. Then there are the times explanation crushes the container I never fit. Maybe this post will crush a box or two. But it's on my heart to do it so, here it is.

Being a sexless adult is not a norm. Everybody wants to "get it in". So, people who choose to be abstinent & celibate, make people uncomfortable. That is because guilty attitudes about sex still linger in the hearts of people. People just don't understand my sex theory, "I am Grown enough to do so, I am Grown enough not to do so. I'm that kind of Adult"!!! Keyword is Adult. So, let's have an Adult discussion about being Sexless.

All Sexless Adults are Not Sexless for the Same reasons. All sexless people aren't only sexless because of oppressive, conservative religion. If that was the case explain why the numbers in those religions having sex seem to look like the outnumber the sexless. If that is the case explain the many that are sexless "spiritual" people. If that is the case explain the sexless atheist. Yes, I'm a Christian(the oppressive, conservative religion, people love to blame for everything) but didn't become celibate because I am one. I gave it all (including discretionary shopping, partying, reading fiction, listening to secular music (wait I did go to movies)) up so I could do some work on me. Everything but sex eased into a place after I did the work. Then one day, I looked up and I was living a full life without it. And that's my story. The Lord may have set me on a path but I won't say because I will never lie and say "I wanted to be closer to him". That's another person's story. Somebody may have thought sex is/was a distraction to a goal. So, guess what find out the simple reason why someone is sexless.

"All Sexless Adults' "end game" is Different". This is annoyance #2 for me. People love to think sexless people are waiting to have sex the first time or again. once they are married. Did they tell you that? Can you wait for them to tell you their end game? Some people are waiting for married to have it the first time or ever again. Some people will only have sex when they are in a committed relationship. Some people will have sex again when they decide to again. There are actually some adult virgins that have that same attitude. They are waiting for a right connection

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"All Sexless Adults are Awkward & Goofy". First off, what is wrong with being awkward & goofy? Isn't life awkward & goofy? Do I need to give you a run down on all the people that are awkward & goofy that having sex? I can name somebody that is sexless that you guy don't think is awkward & goofy. His name is Tim Gunn.

"All Sexless Adults are Prudes". Personally, I know more prudes that are having sex than I do are sexless. I actually know a lady who stuck her finger in her ears and loudly sang "La-la-la" when the subject of sex came up. She was pregnant a few months later. Wonder what she sang while she was baby making? Sexless people do not deny their sexuality. I think the sexual ignorant are more likely be prudes. With sex in everyone's face, every day, I wonder how prudes still exists. Everyone has their limits but being a prude, I don't understand. I know a lot of fairly sexually educated sexless adults. They don't want to be stupid when they get to their end game. Some sexless adult are into self-pleasure. With so many masturbatory products out, one is probably getting very educated while they are looking for something.

"All Sexless Adults are a Conquest-able Challenge". *sigh* This is my annoyance #3. This is not just for the people one is dating. "Friends" & "Associates" that feel that the sexless need to get laid are on this list too. I had to set a "friend" straight before. Funny enough the person only had sex once in life so. Once I said "Catch up to my record then you can talk about me getting laid", I heard nothing else since.  Now, as for people that one dates it is easy to deal with the one's that don't want to be bothered. It's understandable to deal with someone who thought they could deal with your choice. But the ones that think they can change your mind are humorous & frustrating at the same time. I know from some who will "have sex we they decide to" most challengers could've had a shot but the dare turned them off. I feel like that was a test of protection from the immature.

"All Sexless Adults Judge Sexually Active People" Yep, it's my annoyance #1. I won't lie, if you think I will judge you, I automatically know you are guilty about having sex or you are judging me for not having sex. I try my hardest not to but it happens. It annoys me because no matter what I say, matter of fact, Don't Say, people think you are judging them for having sex. Umm, unless a sexless person says anything, They are not judging you. Trust me!!!  I have lost so many folks in my life for doing this. It's never the first accusations. It is the continual accusations or accusing actions. IT'S LIKE THEY NEVER HEARD WHAT I AM SAYING. Funny part is the sexual active judgmental folks have an "end game point" for the sexless and when the sexless' sex life doesn't match their point, they're going to judge them then, too. It's such a VICIOUS cycle.

But that is what these misconceptions are based on, Judgements. The old oppressive society judged those who freely have sex. The newly wanna be free society judge those who aren't having sex. Amazing to me, I thought the newly wanna be free would understand my sex theory, "I am Grown enough to do so, I am Grown enough not to do so. I'm that kind of Adult"!!! Maybe the wanna be free is still just want to be free. I'll wait for a Free Society where the sexually active & sexless can live their own lives, without judgement.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms