My Opinionated Theory May be Hairy But...

2, 3, 4😉

I've seen a lot of talk & memes about men with beards being the biggest cheaters. I don't think they cheat any more than shaven men. Many people hide some the dooziest of secrets.

Hairy men are just better at it than their cleaner cut peers, in my opinion. I was 15 when I made it a hypothetical thought running in my head. I was 29 when life made it my personal theory.

I've observed people since I was four. It's a protective skill. Talkative strangers & gossips are drawn to me. And some people who know me kinda forget I'm around. So, I grew up watching & listening to a lot of people in my living & social communities. Men with full beards & curl or natural hair shags were interesting to a kid like me. Many were hiding some kind of secret that once were revealed, many were floored.

The 1st hairy man who revealed his secret was a man who was illiterate. Well, he read at a 3rd-grade level and few knew it. He was as an older former neighbor. The Bible on cassette tapes were popular when I was a kid. This man could as the old folks say, "talk that Bible like a scholar". He listened to it on tapes and before those, it was albums. Well, I was sent to help him with his bills for one summer and he asked me to help him read better. Before I left for college, he was able to read my Babysitter's Club books with ease. During that tutoring time, I started thinking about all the men I knew with secrets(adultery, unemployment, etc) most of them (most races) had long.

Before I tell about how thought becomes a theory, I need to describe a dating preference of mine. I'm attracted to guys with haircuts. I also prefer mustaches, goatees, and chin strap beards only.

That means no bald faces, also. And I don't think hairy chests & backs are sexy. Arms & Legs can be hairy, I don't care. And anything else is not apart of this post. While I was in college, I dated one man that had the ability to grow a full beard. That was JMac. He acted like he hated it and kept it cut to a mustache & goatee, mostly.

Enter the worst boyfriend ever, Stumpy. He had a low afro & beard. My BFF, Love & former friend, Dean, felt I was being picky about the hair. So, I threw preference to the wind and we started dating. But I didn't throw away observation. And interesting enough after 5 months, he was getting sketchy. And his afro turned into a loss and the beard though lined up was getting longer.

I thought it was because I was recovering from a grief fog of my grandfather's death and had let some stuff slip. Everything pointed at cheating. I would ask questions and the answers didn't sit right. So, after my infamous walking away, guide the path prayer(another post, another day) & an unexplainable voicemail that sounded like cheating, I broke up with him after a year & a half of dating. As you guys know from a previous post, Stumpy wanted to be friends years after we broke up. As the song says, "God blocked it" & all the sketchy info add up some the craziest secrets & lies, I had ever known. It was laid in my lap. I didn't ask for it & didn't know I needed it. When I write my memoir, I'll give full details.

Talk about the
Natural Look

The crazy part was all the details that I do know coincide with his loss & beard growing. My thoughts only needed one test subject to become a theory. I walked away with a little bump on the heart & being told to go to hell. And I am grateful. I recently saw that bald but still bearded him in a 90s Steve Harvey dress suit & Now or Later colored Gators at a park. Got a feeling Life likes me.

I know there are exceptions to my theory but Hairy Men Hide the Secrets Better. I think many go unseen because hairiness is considered very manly. And we know a trait of manliness is being trustworthy.  Think about Grizzly Adams. He was a rugged mountain man that lived off the land and killed bears for food & fur. Sounds like society may trust hairy men and don't realize it. Society doesn't watch & get to know this type of guy. He's just gets lumped into stereotypes. He knows it & gets to hides behind them.

Oh well, that is my opinion based on my life. I like it better sitting in the observational deck. I'll leave the research lab to those who are better qualified. This is a theory that no one wants to test but some of you will at least think about. If you are bold to tell me your findings, email me at c.out.spoken.diva@gmail.com.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!