Tell Those Turkeys To Mind Their Business (Answering Questions)

It's the holiday season, guys. Time for family, friends, food, & fun and also the underlying foolishness that come along with it. But it is ok, we will get through it.

Q: My family loves to ask the most offensive questions during the holidays. I Hate It!!! How do you handle those offensive questions dealing with Dating/Marriage, Kids, & School/Career?

A: Simple Answer is "Not Well at All".

I Love my loved ones! I truly do!!! But unfortunately, I act like a jerk with those type of questions. Pray for me, you hear. I have been such a jerk, my family dislike asking me anything about me. Two of my aunts tried to talk about boys with me as a teenager. I stopped them, immediately. My sex life will never be topic I talk to everyone about. Around the same time, I observed how people were talking about those that would bring someone different all the time to family events. So, by the time I was 18, I knew not to bring no one I was dating to family events unless he & I were nearing engagement. And because of that personal rule, I have Never officially brought any man home.

Oh & when I graduated from college and many were confused that my degree was in Family & Consumer Sciences and not Nursing. I understood my extended family like great aunts, great uncles & their offsprings having questions. But I knew I had informed my immediate family about the change after I did it, two years prior to graduating. I felt unheard & ignored and some folks were told off. Pay Attention, The First Time!!! I also come from a family that have a few that loudly say, "When I graduated from high school, I was through" when anything about education comes up. I know they're not dissuading anyone from going to school, but I give them some fierce, educated side eye, whenever I hear them say that.

Don't Act Like Me!!! I do work hard at not being rude. But we must find direct & considerate ways to tell people that those questions are not something you will be talking about.

And even though I am rude if you ask me something that will offend me, I make sure I act how I want to be treated when talking to others. If you say school or work is Fine, Fine is the answer. If that person is not expecting a child, "having children" is not topic I bring up. I don't have children and believe it is more to everybody than being fruitful & multiplying. When people bring their significant others over, I engage with them. But if my loved ones have to ask me later if I like them or not. I don't offer that opinion all willy, nilly. The day I bring "The One" to a family event, I want him to be treated like I have treated others.

So, How to Handle Offensive Questions...

• Do be Direct about your feelings but not Rude
• Don't be Offensive to Others also
• And be as Loving as possible

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms