Neither, Issa Black(Answering Questions)

You guys send me questions, so I have to answer them.

Q: Are you a feminist or womanist?

A: Unpopular Opinion but I don't identify with either passed their basic founding principles. I am a Black, Christan, Educated, Heterosexual, Left Handed, Non-Married, Plus Size, Short Woman, with Relaxed hair & Lighter Melaninated skin that agrees with equal respect & fairness for all.

Feminism & Womanism have great principles as their foundations.  Yet, both of those can be very exclusive, ignorant(lack of knowledge) and non-bridging in their radical work. Including some things I identify as.

Q: You've said you don't wear all-black to funerals. I don't like all-black, either. What do you wear as alternatives? What won't you wear

A: Any shade of Blue, Brown, or Grey are my safe alternatives. During the spring & summer, I will wear white with dark accessories to funerals of family & friends. I refuse to wear red or animal prints to funerals. Even as accents, I think those are kinda gaudy.

Q: Did you have a "Hoe Phase"?

A: Almost said, who didn't, but I thought about some names and changed my mind. Yeah, I had one, early in college & quick. Which is fornunate because when I see 27+ year olds in one, I feel like they're holding onto their youth or trying to live life real quick.

And because people sum me up with the "Good Girl" stereotype, I could do mine peacefully on the low. Funny part is mine also looked as goofy & random as Issa Dee on the show, Insecure. But it's life and life is too be lived.

As you see, if send your Questions to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com, I'll answer them. And I promised to give it a full OUTSPOKEN_DIVA opinion, that you seem to want.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!

Answering Questions Don't Take Holidays Off

Questions don't care what time of the year it is. If answers are needed, answer is what will be recieved. Let's see what's going on.

Q: Do you believe in re-gifting?

A: LoL Re-gifting is a touchy issue. So before I typed this post, I did a Twitter poll asking this same question. As you can see 2:3, that took the poll said Re-gifting was Gross. *sigh* But of course, my answer is not the popular answer. I Re-Gift.

Thank You for
Answering

I learned to re-gift as a teenager. I didn't get ears pierced until I was 22. That still didn't stop people from giving me pierced earrings. They would be nice earrings, so I would give my earrings as gift. And now with body oil & butters being popular gifts, I have to re-gift some now. The smell of Coconut is not a scent I like at all. And I seem to be the only person in world that feels that way, so re-gifting is the option I used. But I follow a set of rules in doing so.

• Re-gifting is not limited to the holidays. Most people get gifts other times of the year like their birthdays. If you know who you intend to give the gift to has a birthday coming up or if Mother's or Father's Day, give it to them then.
• A re-gift has to come with the right intention. It must be the receiver's style & be something you would likely bought for that person.
  
• Don't re-gift a present among the same social circle. For example, don't give another family member a gift, another family member gave you. Find a friend, neighbor, colleague, ect that may like the gift. I used sticky notes to identify who gave me the gift, so I don't make any mix ups.
• Keep the original packaging, but always re-wrap. But if it looks used, don't give it as a gift. Stop giving out bottles of lotion & colognes that look like testers. Stop giving things that look open. Put some personal touch on the gift to let someone know you care.
• Check your attitude in re-gifting. Heck, check it in giving anything. Most people who give tacky, used up gifts have jacked up attitudes. If you can't give with care, Don't!

Don't be afraid to re-gift. Give a non-used gift a good home.

Q: You've previously spoken of having a non-traditional tree. Have you seen the upside down trees? Would you ever get one?

A: I saw these on the show, Dish Nation. I think they're pretty, but not practical for my family. Yes, we have a corner tree for Christmas. It's just the front half of the tree with bar to stabilize it. We've had one for over a decade now. With 20+ people in a living room, space is key. I'm also the person puts the tree up. At 5'2", guess who is not hanging a tree up on the ceiling?

Did you know Upside-Down Christmas Trees started as a religious symbol? In the 12th century, pagans who converted to Christianity revered the fir tree as God's Trinity Tree. It was hung upside down in Central and Eastern Europe as a symbol of God, the Son becoming a man because it resembled the shape of Christ being crucified. WoW!

No matter what holiday you celebrate. No matter how you celebrate that holiday. Remember Love is the Reason for the Holiday Season. I believe the scripture, God is Love, but what is Love to you? That's the definition you celebrate the holidays with.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

Tell Those Turkeys To Mind Their Business (Answering Questions)

It's the holiday season, guys. Time for family, friends, food, & fun and also the underlying foolishness that come along with it. But it is ok, we will get through it.

Q: My family loves to ask the most offensive questions during the holidays. I Hate It!!! How do you handle those offensive questions dealing with Dating/Marriage, Kids, & School/Career?

A: Simple Answer is "Not Well at All".

I Love my loved ones! I truly do!!! But unfortunately, I act like a jerk with those type of questions. Pray for me, you hear. I have been such a jerk, my family dislike asking me anything about me. Two of my aunts tried to talk about boys with me as a teenager. I stopped them, immediately. My sex life will never be topic I talk to everyone about. Around the same time, I observed how people were talking about those that would bring someone different all the time to family events. So, by the time I was 18, I knew not to bring no one I was dating to family events unless he & I were nearing engagement. And because of that personal rule, I have Never officially brought any man home.

Oh & when I graduated from college and many were confused that my degree was in Family & Consumer Sciences and not Nursing. I understood my extended family like great aunts, great uncles & their offsprings having questions. But I knew I had informed my immediate family about the change after I did it, two years prior to graduating. I felt unheard & ignored and some folks were told off. Pay Attention, The First Time!!! I also come from a family that have a few that loudly say, "When I graduated from high school, I was through" when anything about education comes up. I know they're not dissuading anyone from going to school, but I give them some fierce, educated side eye, whenever I hear them say that.

Don't Act Like Me!!! I do work hard at not being rude. But we must find direct & considerate ways to tell people that those questions are not something you will be talking about.

And even though I am rude if you ask me something that will offend me, I make sure I act how I want to be treated when talking to others. If you say school or work is Fine, Fine is the answer. If that person is not expecting a child, "having children" is not topic I bring up. I don't have children and believe it is more to everybody than being fruitful & multiplying. When people bring their significant others over, I engage with them. But if my loved ones have to ask me later if I like them or not. I don't offer that opinion all willy, nilly. The day I bring "The One" to a family event, I want him to be treated like I have treated others.

So, How to Handle Offensive Questions...

• Do be Direct about your feelings but not Rude
• Don't be Offensive to Others also
• And be as Loving as possible

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Answering My FAQs

So, I am heading into my 5th blogiversary and before year 4 ends I decided to answer my Frequently Asked Questions, in one post.

Will You Ever Reveal Your "Real" Name?
If you follow me on Twitter, I actually did last Thanksgiving (2015). I thought since I was grateful for being me, change your username for the day. So, I did. LoL There are only two ways I will state my biological name outside of  anything connected to offline land & Facebook. 1.When I passed away from this world & enter New Life, and if I still have a blog. a post will be released to say I, biological name aka OUTSPOKEN_DIVA has passed away. Dang, I guess I better write that post or at least put a note in my prayer diary for my loved ones to type one. 2. If/When I write my memoir, there will be an OUTSPOKEN_DIVA chapter. Oh and to the petty, messy jerk reading this that knows my bio name and wants to reveal before I do...

Speak in languages folks understand!

A Memoir, You Would Write Life Story?
Yeah, I really would if I have the opportunity(given or created by me). I even have a title. No, I will not tell you. This is the internet.

Why Do You Say "Biological Name"?
News Flash!!! I am a bit of a snob. Biological Name means the name that was given to me at birth. "Government Name" doesn't pertain to me. My dad named me not Uncle Sam. "Real Name" means that OUTSPOKEN_DIVA is not my real blog name.

How Big Are Your Breasts?
People who email me this question are usually trolls. BUT  if you are not my Lord or my husband & you wanted to know this answer go to this post right HERE. 

What Won't You Talk About?
Oh that is an easy question with many answers here are some:

• I will Never reveal anyone I know in offline land biological name.
• I will Never tease, make fun or be overly critical someone because of their religion, sexuality, gender, race or creed.
• I will Never make a cruel post.
• I will Never endorsement a political candidate. I don't care who you vote for just vote.
• I will Never play pranks on here.
• I will Never rate or review porn or sex toys of any kind.
• I will Never post Nudity.

Does that answer that question?

Will You Ever Vlog?
I toy with that idea but my answer will be Not Today

So, now I have a question for you. Do you want me to another answer questions post? If so, Send me question to me email C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@GMAIL.COM or as I always say, put them in the Comment sections

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms