Hey Friend! Sir, Are You a Collector?

Here's My Truth...
I am a cis-heterosexual woman who has a few cis-heterosexual men as friends but is still wary of cis-heterosexual men who have only female friends.

This is a long over-due post to the "Male Friends" out there in the world. Yes, I know "Not All Male Friends". But if the shoe doesn't fit, get your big boot out of it and go sit down so, you can read this.

Many people don't take me seriously when I say I am an observant person. My observations have heard a few men say, "I only have women as friends". And those same observations make me wait for those same men to say one of these two statements next, "I don't know why I don't have male friends" or "Dudes compete too much". (And I know that answer to your question. Because I am a woman, I know quite a few women who don't have female friends. They feel they are dramatic & messy. And yet are usually are the ones who are messy & dramatic. So, I ignore them.) Those two statements always feel funny to my ears. So, my observations have lead me to intensely pay attention.

Often times I see that they use the word friend very loosely, like a dangling pacifier. Those female buddies are actually just associates or in some cases, ladies these men just hung out, text ,and/or chatted with enough to add them on social media. It's an interesting phenomenon to see. And yeah, I have observed & talked to a few of the ladies that are the friends. Some don't realize their real position. Some don't take those guys seriously. They see the same crud I see. One gave these men the name, Female Friend Collectors. And I couldn't describe them any better. Also, it was good to know I wasn't crazy because I'm cautious with cis-heterosexual men who only have female friends.

Oh here is another one of my truths. I attract Female Friend Collectors. But because of my tendency to put many humans in a category called, "People I've Met", I tick most of them off. Nothing like a man I've hung out or chatted with off & on(more off) with for months brush me off, show up weeks later after I have moved on, interact with them at a basic cordial level and say, "Why are you acting cold? I thought we were friends".

I'm not "Female Friend Collection" material. Most women are not.

And people wonder why I have a love/hate relationship with the question, "Can men & women be friends"?. My observations tell me my answer is "It Depends on the Person".

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms