Neither, Issa Black(Answering Questions)

You guys send me questions, so I have to answer them.

Q: Are you a feminist or womanist?

A: Unpopular Opinion but I don't identify with either passed their basic founding principles. I am a Black, Christan, Educated, Heterosexual, Left Handed, Non-Married, Plus Size, Short Woman, with Relaxed hair & Lighter Melaninated skin that agrees with equal respect & fairness for all.

Feminism & Womanism have great principles as their foundations.  Yet, both of those can be very exclusive, ignorant(lack of knowledge) and non-bridging in their radical work. Including some things I identify as.

Q: You've said you don't wear all-black to funerals. I don't like all-black, either. What do you wear as alternatives? What won't you wear

A: Any shade of Blue, Brown, or Grey are my safe alternatives. During the spring & summer, I will wear white with dark accessories to funerals of family & friends. I refuse to wear red or animal prints to funerals. Even as accents, I think those are kinda gaudy.

Q: Did you have a "Hoe Phase"?

A: Almost said, who didn't, but I thought about some names and changed my mind. Yeah, I had one, early in college & quick. Which is fornunate because when I see 27+ year olds in one, I feel like they're holding onto their youth or trying to live life real quick.

And because people sum me up with the "Good Girl" stereotype, I could do mine peacefully on the low. Funny part is mine also looked as goofy & random as Issa Dee on the show, Insecure. But it's life and life is too be lived.

As you see, if send your Questions to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com, I'll answer them. And I promised to give it a full OUTSPOKEN_DIVA opinion, that you seem to want.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!

Tell Those Turkeys To Mind Their Business (Answering Questions)

It's the holiday season, guys. Time for family, friends, food, & fun and also the underlying foolishness that come along with it. But it is ok, we will get through it.

Q: My family loves to ask the most offensive questions during the holidays. I Hate It!!! How do you handle those offensive questions dealing with Dating/Marriage, Kids, & School/Career?

A: Simple Answer is "Not Well at All".

I Love my loved ones! I truly do!!! But unfortunately, I act like a jerk with those type of questions. Pray for me, you hear. I have been such a jerk, my family dislike asking me anything about me. Two of my aunts tried to talk about boys with me as a teenager. I stopped them, immediately. My sex life will never be topic I talk to everyone about. Around the same time, I observed how people were talking about those that would bring someone different all the time to family events. So, by the time I was 18, I knew not to bring no one I was dating to family events unless he & I were nearing engagement. And because of that personal rule, I have Never officially brought any man home.

Oh & when I graduated from college and many were confused that my degree was in Family & Consumer Sciences and not Nursing. I understood my extended family like great aunts, great uncles & their offsprings having questions. But I knew I had informed my immediate family about the change after I did it, two years prior to graduating. I felt unheard & ignored and some folks were told off. Pay Attention, The First Time!!! I also come from a family that have a few that loudly say, "When I graduated from high school, I was through" when anything about education comes up. I know they're not dissuading anyone from going to school, but I give them some fierce, educated side eye, whenever I hear them say that.

Don't Act Like Me!!! I do work hard at not being rude. But we must find direct & considerate ways to tell people that those questions are not something you will be talking about.

And even though I am rude if you ask me something that will offend me, I make sure I act how I want to be treated when talking to others. If you say school or work is Fine, Fine is the answer. If that person is not expecting a child, "having children" is not topic I bring up. I don't have children and believe it is more to everybody than being fruitful & multiplying. When people bring their significant others over, I engage with them. But if my loved ones have to ask me later if I like them or not. I don't offer that opinion all willy, nilly. The day I bring "The One" to a family event, I want him to be treated like I have treated others.

So, How to Handle Offensive Questions...

• Do be Direct about your feelings but not Rude
• Don't be Offensive to Others also
• And be as Loving as possible

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms