What Have I Told Y'all About Those Beards?

I saw this on Facebook. I was shocked. Not shocked that beard toupees exist, I'm shocked that my thoughts are being proven true. I'm not usually attracted to or date men with full beards. I also think guys with lots of hair hide their secrets better. But you knew that because you read my post HERE.

The fake beard lifting off of a male face tells me this man is not about the lying life he thinks he is. His face can't handle that amount hair on it. Might be more truths (Keywords is might) coming from the owner of this face. And I might be able to detect a lot more b.s. coming from that face.

And to answer the question, after a quiet deep breath & sigh I would encourage him to leave it off. He will more than likely look better to me without it and would tell him that. Smile, bat my eyes, & stroke his arm & hands to accompany my words. If I am close enough, I might even stroke his face so he would know I want to see his face. He's already embarrassed, no use of me being a jerk about it. I would only break out in laughter and tease him if he's an a-hole because of the situation. It's the same reaction I would have if the guy's toupee on his head fell. But I prefer low haircuts & bald heads, also.

Trendy pop culture foolishly influencing the "rules" again.  When we all figure out how to be comfortable at any stage of our looks, life might feel a little bit better.

I won't let style tell my clumsy 5'2" body that thinly crafted high heels will make me look sexier. A man shouldn't glue a hair rug on his face in order to be handsome. Too many low pump wearers & mustache havers in relationships and very single stiletto & beard lovers that debunk those trendy mindsets.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Grooming My Man!!!

I just watched Steve Harvey and he did a segment on Male "Beauty" Products. Male Pantyhose, Male Polish, Man Makeup, Male Clutch, and Padded Briefs. The male clutch was the only thing that got a green light. It was a funny segment.

This made me think about the grooming habits of the guys I've dated and some I know and how they shaped my preferences now. I always see the questions about men's grooming habits and quirks. I think I like men who are "basic" metrosexuals

I refuse to date a man that does not lotion his body regularly. I grew up watching my grandmother put lotion on my grandfather's hands if he forgot right before they entered a public building. I have a cousin whose wife does the same thing. That was cool until I dated a guy that regularly forgot like that. Quickly that became annoying. Ashiness is a pet peeve for me. No one should not have to tell an adult man to moisturize.  In the words of the viral sensation Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that". Once, I had a guy call me on the road on the way to pick me up for a date and asked would I bring a little lotion. Now that I can get behind. He was trying. On any given day, I'll rather a man smell like Original Cherry Almond Jergens and moisturized than he smells the best men's cologne and be ashy.

Sometime last year in the grocery my nephew asked me could he have a lip balm he was holding up. He was holding up some glitter Lip Smackers. I told him yes but not that brand. We were on the makeup aisle & he picked what he thought he wanted. This "macho" guy agreed with me by making a gay slur/comment, that pissed me off because that was not the message I was trying to convey. He was 6 years old. His lips were chapped. Glitter does not help that. Glitter is for cute not lip chap.  We walked over to the medication aisle and I got him some cherry-flavored Chapstick and he was delighted. I have a friend who is adamant about his lips not being chapped. He will whip out his lip balm in a minute. Lip Balm is a Gay thing. No one wants to kiss a chapped lip. All lips need to be smooth and kissable.

No secret, I only date men with haircuts. Haircuts just look neater. Also In My Observances and One Experience men, with hair hide secrets better. That's another blog. So if he has a regular appointment to get a haircut, that's points in the hotness chart. I don't like beards but a man needs a mustache. Oh, and a goatee is sexy!!! Not a fan of hairless male lips. One of the main things I look for when I suspect the guy may be a girl (6:7 times been right (had to just ask her)). Body hair is a whole different issue for me. Hairy chest scares me. It's like extended facial hair. Wax that stuff off. Luckily, I have Never dated a man with a hairy chest. I am a friend and relative to quite a few with excessive body hair.  I learned to "sneak and look" when a man has a few buttons unbuttoned on a shirt on what the chest may look like. I know Naughty, Naughty! Hairy Lips and Chin!!! Hairless Chest!!!

I think every woman interested in men has a level of grooming habit that is acceptable to them. Personally of those of the aforementioned products. I could fully accept the Male clutch (looks like a modern briefcase) and partially accept the polish and makeup (only in clear, no colors, and makeup only for the lips). I don't want a man to wear male Spanx(Manx) or guyliner either. That's just my preference. I told you "Basic Metrosexual" is my type.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Beards

Who watches the show Let's Stay Together on BET? I do! I do! It's a fun show about a couples & family love. I love it. One of the storyline involves a college student who is in a paid relationship with a closeted gay professional athlete. Yes, she is a Beard. That what pop culture has decided to call a straight woman in a known relationship with a closeted gay man. It is to keep up a heterosexual appearance in public. Some are paid. Some are not. All are "helping" out a guy in a "lurch". Well now there is a hitch in this relationship, she's met someone. He knows she dating the athlete but he doesn't know he's gay. Also, the athlete does not want her dating other men. She needs to focus on her education that he is paying for or he will sue for breach of contract.

This is why I could never be a beard. I accept a man honesty to me because there are gay men in relationships with women and the women don't know. My issue with being a beard is squelching my desire to be with a man that wants me. I guess I have never been broke enough that the money and things my gay boyfriend pays that could block my true self, a heterosexual woman. If I was a beard, it's my luck my "perfect" man would come alone. I couldn't let being a beard block that blessing. A man who is not romantically involved with me could not dictate that I could not date another man who is. Now somebody just said "Maybe the datable guy would be okay with it". I don't want to date a man who is "okay" with that arrangement. I want a man who wants me and not some convoluted mess of a relationship I packing with me. I want a man who would think high enough of himself to be a "side piece". I want a man that would be bother with me, as a Beard.

So if you're going to be a beard look over the contract. Think about it with your whole heart.If it is something you agree to fully. Even though I could be a Beard, Could you?

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms