Blame me having “The View” on in my background while I was working. The topic “Should Colleges offer a course in dating” came up. My mind started going.
So, an adjunct professor at Boston College is concerned about the Dating skills of students. She feels there is too much “hooking up” and not enough dating among college students. She feel like it’s a lost art. So in her course syllabus extra credit is available for any student who goes out on a date, subject to certain rules. It’s the student pays for the date and must make the request face-to-face, not via email or texting. The date can’t involve alcohol, kissing, or sex. This came about because a student asked her during a lecture about campus hookup culture, “How would you ask someone on a date?”. Other schools are going outside the classroom to address dating. Duke University’s Counseling & Psychological Services office ran “How to Be in Love” a series that helps students navigate falling in love, recognize “toxic romance” and analyze their break-ups. The counseling center at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign ran a weekly workshops this spring that included “being single and ready to mingle” and “uncovering the dating scene” as some of their subjects. Here are the articles if you don’t believe me.
http://college.usatoday.com/2014/07/09/would-you-ask-a-peer-out-for-extra-credit-schools-offer-dating-classes/
http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/18304/
Yes the “hook up” culture is on college campuses. (Wait let me say this to those who have never gone to college but can Always bad mouth college. Just because Some students are having casual sex (many safely) does not mean there are not going to classes and getting a good education. You did too and was not in school.) It's not new. The culture was there when I was in college. I was never asked on a date by anyone I went to school with. I think the only date I almost had with someone on campus was a “Bachelor Bid” date that fell through big time. Oh they could flirt and make eyes at me. Oh there was one guy (I’ll call him Nickel, just in case some of the folks I went to UTA with, start wondering) that constantly gave me compliment on my looks. He never asked me out. Oh he could knock on my door and want to come in and watch TV (Umm no, that’s a booty call request in disguise. I was not that stupid & naive) but no date asking. I was asked out on dates by men who didn't go to school (Both universities & community college breaks) with me. Not that some they were not the same “just wanna hook-up” busters but they were making the effort to at least act like they trying to get to know me. I can't say Many of the ladies I ever associated with in college were asked out on dates. I might know one of them that asked a guy on a date. So yeah, the Art of dating is a Lost art form.
I actually think younger people (those in college or not) think “hooking up” is dating, these days Thanking Wikipedia for a definition, Dating is a part of human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. Dating is not hopping in bed (and any other places) and having sex only. That’s the definition of Casual sex. I'm not judging. I’m not in that position to do so. I’m just as human as the other humans. I’m just saying that Casual sex or hooking up is not the same as dating
I'm not totally against this concept of teaching Dating skills. I think that the skills should be taught before one graduates high school. But we know those skills are not being taught for various reason including, sheltering your children and just flat out not teaching children respectful advance social skills. TV and Movies do a better job than those who should be doing the instructing. I think the colleges that are having seminars should continue as they are. It is probably taken out of the Student Activity fees and like all student activities it’s optional. Being extra credit for a Philosophy class is cute. But it’s not being taught on a wide spread forum.
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I don’t ever want this to be a college course. Show me one Degree that needs Dating in its course work. Maybe the rudiments, trends or styles of dating for sociology or psychology degrees. We are talking the skills of dating or how to date not fundamentals. I'm still miffed at all the 4 course hours of physical activity required when I was in school. Dating doesn't even fall under that department as elective. That’s a course the tuition would be supporting for a high probability of naught. Tuition is already too High to be taking superfluous electives. What governing body of any College or University is going to let this course be added to the curriculum. And before you use the course, know that that is a Women’s Studies course, called Politicizing Beyoncé. Here’s the description: Beyoncé Knowles-Carter is known as many things: singer, songwriter, actress, performer, half of hip hop and R&B’s most powerful couple, even fashion designer. But few take her seriously as a political figure. This course will attempt to think about our contemporary U.S. society and its current class, racial, gender, and sexual politics through the music and career of Beyoncé. On the surface, she might deploy messages about race, gender, class, and sexuality that appear conservative in relation to social norms, but during this course we will ask: how does she also challenge our very understanding of these categories? How does Beyoncé push the boundaries of these categories to make space for and embrace other perhaps more “deviant” bodies, desires, and/or politics? We will attempt to position Beyoncé as a progressive, feminist, and even queer figure through close examination of her music alongside readings on political issues, both contemporary and historical. We will juxtapose Beyoncé’s music with writings on black feminism and the black female experience in the U.S. (and beyond), to attempt to answer: can Beyoncé’s music be seen as a blueprint for progressive social change? So that argument base is moot.
Again parents & guardians should be teaching these skills. It’s part of the advanced social skills they need when they leave the home to go out in the world. Oh some are but I've had conversations with some of the future citizens of the world. Some can't complete a conversations without mumbling and me asking them what did they say constantly (Sad part is there are some slightly older” (my age) people out there like that also). I’m going to guess knowing anything about proper dating skills is doubtful. Good job to universities, college & professors taking an interest social life of its students. Just don’t require any tuition money in that interest.
What do you think???
Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms
