In Those Jeans (What I Wear)

Mom Jeans Skit from SNL

I do Not like Jeans!!! You can't tell by my Saturday fashion choices this winter I feel like this but I do. 95% of my sweatpants are stretched out and I didn't buy new ones last summer. So, my choices for relaxed casual pants this winter are my jeans. But I am anything but relaxed.

Peer Pressure is the only reason why I even own jeans. Some how when I was a kid I bought into the notion that you are not American unless you own jeans. I actually own 2-4 pairs of jeans at a given time.
1. My Fat Pair: If I fit these jeans I am at least 2 1/2 dress sizes into a depressive state. If I can wear these jeans I am Too Fat for even my eyes. I keep them for weight management.
2. The Regular Pair: The jeans I wear the most. Some of mine probably looked like mom jeans but I don't care. They usually only go to the grocery store or NYE at church. Both events wear comfort in clothing is needed.

The reason I own Jeggings,
My Over-the-Knee Boots

3. The Jeggings: I bought some over-the-knee boots. I tried to wear them with leggings but my belief that leggings are Not pants is so great I bought some jeggings.
4. The Jeggings that Got too Big/Backup Regular Pair: Humblebrag: I lost weight and my original jeggings were too loose. They didn't look to bad on me so I wear them interchangeably with the Regular pair.

My issues with jeans are IMO, unique. People who complain about jeans never state my issues. I can find my fit, color, & shape. Those are not my problem. Let's start with comfort.
1. They are Not Comfy: Jeans are hot. I've already stated in the Pant post of this series that I try my hardest not to wear them in the warmer season. Jeans are a definite No-No when it is hot. I live in Texas and my legs sweat. Also have you ever got your jeans wet while wearing them. It takes them forever to dry. I learned that the hard way on a trip to Six Flags with my family. I also do Not stand on the Splashwater Fall bridge anymore because of that lesson.

My short legs in Jeggings

2. The Petite Plus Size Factor: Oh, an amusement park ride is not the only way I know about wet jeans. Like other pants I don't prefer jeans in the rain either. My hemming skills are not bad but sometimes I've missed the mark. I remember numerous of school days with cooled ankles because the hem of my jeans wet from rain getting to school. Yes, the fit and style are not problem. Wide legged, Carpenter cut & Boyfriend cut jeans look great on me. Fits my hips & thighs well. The problem that those styles that look good on me rarely come in Petites. And when they do All the short thick ladies rush to get them before I can get a pair. Jeggings get a pass because the extra length help keep my feet warm in my boots.
3 Jean Boners: That's the annoying bump in the crotch area of jeans that resembles an erection. Some people have that large protrusion in the genital area in other zippered pant but not me. I only have it in jeans. But it is something that seemly I am the only person weirded out by. It is the reason why All my jeans in middle school were elastic waist. I am a woman not a man. I like to look like it in All clothes.

My Regular Jeans

Yes, I was talking Only about the long pants. Denim dresses, skirts, capris & shorts are good. Denim pants a*k*a jeans are the devil. Can't wait until sweats get to clearance sections so I stock up. Titles like Rules to Finding the Perfect Jeans & I Found the Perfect Jeans get major side eye from me. When they make a real pair of Jeans that do Not feel or fit like jeans (Pajama Jeans still feel like jeans) then maybe, Maybe I'll be relieved.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms