Don't Pat Me on My Back for My Basic Confidence

In no way, do I want to come off rude. But thanks to Pop Culture, I have to address Basic Confidence, the Plus Size Community & what the World can learn. Blame Dish Nation's coverage on Gabourey Sidibe not wanting anyone asking her "How are you confident". Read about it HERE. I agreed with Gabby and I am not shocked non-plus size people don't see the problem.

How many times have you ever thought to ask a positive behavior displaying non-fat person, why do they feel good about themselves?

Yes, I have had someone ask me that. It didn't feel good. I was in my last year at Lamar University. I was about to graduate. I had overcome a few doozies in life.

And I think I was a naturally polite until provoked kind of person. This popular guy that I never talked to before then, blog name Chaka was walking by me one day. And he said, "I see you're so positive. I mean you really have nice self-esteem, even with the way you look. How is that"? I was baffled & the only thing I said was a dry "Okay" and I walked away. But my reaction was not over. The rest of the time I was at LU, I hung my head down in despair whenever he was near. Yeah, I could react like a major jerk in my 20s. Now, I have a little more mature grasp on using my words & actions to express my feelings.

Oh yeah, let me describe Chaka. He was a non-plus size man suffering from albinism. Yeah just like me posting pictures of me at LU, me telling you that info after the story was on purpose. Are we, humans so conditioned to think that only humans that look like whatever is the standard preference of attractiveness? I would never ask that albino man why did he feel great about being popular despite how he looked.

Asking About Anyone's is Not the Compliment You Guys Think It Is.

Gabby was right. Would you ever ask Rhianna, Jenifer Lawrence, Idris Elba, or George Clooney, why are they so confident. If your answer is "You don't have to", please understand this. People who don't look like the standard preference of attractiveness have right to good self-esteem. Many of us use that right. Pop Culture's messaging tell you we don't, but exposure to more people in life will tell you a different story.

Having Good Feelings About Yourself is Not an Extraordinary Feat. It's Basic. And if Basics have to be Praised, What is Lacking in Life?

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

The Tuck

Dallas Independent School District is getting rid of a very archaic part of the student dress code. Students will no longer be required to tuck in their shirts. Read the article HERE I was a senior in high school when the policy started to lightly be enforced. I never liked it. It's just not modest for everyone to tuck in their shirts.

It was around the time when some of the male students made sagging pants and no belts a hardcore fashion statement at school. Some schools made them put ropes around their pants and pull them up. Some did not. The rule made sense to those who wore sagging pants showing their underwear. Then the district decided to suggest "All Student's Shirts to be tucked in". I didn't take it seriously. It was a rare & force occasion for me to tuck in my blouses when I was younger and even then I pulled them out some to make me look more flattering my clothes. The president of the Mother's Board of my childhood church disapproved of it. I dislike ushering near her. She was always stuffing more of my blouse further in my skirt.

The Dean of Instruction of my school must have been kin to her because she saw me one day in 1996, 10 minutes before the first bell, and was outraged. "Young Lady, You Are In Violation Of The Dress Code". I thought it was my skirt. I'm 5'2" with short legs. 2 inches above the knee or the fingertip rules always got me stopped by some teacher but my mini skirt was within the boundaries. Short legs can come in handy. Oh but not this day. She wanted me to tuck in my shirt. I tucked it in and my skirt didn't have belt loops and a belt. It was an elastic waist skirt. With wide eyes, she said, "Let's go to your counselor's office. Because you are not dressed properly and you need to go home". We get to my counselor's office. My counselor asked what was the problem because she had no clue why I was in there if it was not scheduled issues or college-related. The Dean ranted about my outfit and my counselor started laughing. I was told by her to tuck my top in. Then she turn me around and showed the dean my backside. "When she fights because somebody squeezes her side rolls or rubs her hip. Because she will hit them in response. Send her home then. That's what is going to happen if she tucks her shirt in". She looked at me "Go to class". I untucked my top and went on my way. I didn't see the dean until graduation, months later when I shook her hand like the rest of the administration. A few years later DISD and other area school districts made it a rule.

I know the Dean who was very tall and thin did not understand until that day that plus-size, wide hip, large-busted student should not tuck in her clothes. DISD didn't either. My counselor knew she was sending me into a land that included name-callers, junior perverts, and mean girls call a school hallway. With already being awkward, nerdy, and sarcastic I didn't need the drama just because of an untucked top in a place where that was not even a "real" law yet. DISD finally saw it like my counselor and I knew it. School is hard enough without added pressure. One might say "It's just a tucked-in shirt". Say that to the kid who has the back fat, large buttocks, and love handles getting physically harassed every day. All because it is out there for some cruel kid(s) to pick at like it's their right to do so.

So kudos DISD for loosing up on tucked-in shirts. Now belts still need to be enforced because sagging is still an issue. Everyone does not look flattering with a tucked-in shirt. I wonder if that Dean heard this decision and remembered me and the skirt incident. Probably not! LoL

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms