No one who knows me will ever say I don't take my friendships seriously. There are my family memebers I got to pick. I don't have many. It hurts when I have to let one go, especially when other people are the reaason. It makes me frown to see other people's friendships break up because of other people. Breaking up because the dating rules is the worse.
What happened to the "code"? No better yet Let me rephrase the question. How many friendships are bound by the "code"? *sigh* The "code" aka The unwritten rules of friendship. The rule you don't break even if they say it's okay. And they approve, you don't do it because you are a true friend. The 2 rules I want focus on are1) DoNot date or purposly sleep with an ex of friend. 2) If interest in the same person and we both know it we check who that person is actually interested in and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.
This blog will focus on the rule: If interested in the same person and we both know it we should find if that person is actually interested and if so which friend and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.
Okay in High School I didn't abide by this rule for weird reason. If they weren't your boyfriend or boyfriend-like, he was free game to flirt with. Don't remember doing it often but I know I did it. As single as I was most of high school I should've never did that. Happy, I outgrew that in Adulthood (Praise Break) becasue that behavior is horrible.
I see friends flirt with the same person at the same time and I flinch. It is a disaster waiting to happen. Many time somebody is going to be rejected. I never competitive flirt with a friend.
My friend TT and I often see guys we both think are attractive. We give each other "the eye and more than likely just giggle. If she sees that Mr. "We think is Cute" is looking my way she'll nicely tells me. And if Mr. "We think is Cute"approaches her I step aside. Why compete? Most times Mr. "We think is Cute" is not looking at either of us. (that's why you find out if they are even interested)
I don't understand any adult that would let friends complete flirt over them. Clearly that person is just looking for the most "willing" friend. If you are not in a "willing" way why do it? In the long run both friend will get rejected in way or the other.
It's not worth a friendship. If friends are attracted to the same person it should be maturely discuss. Again another way to get to know your friends. If this happens and you are the friend that the interested party is not attracted to, yes walk away nice. It's okay, to be happy for your friend. Shouldn't be sore losers & haughty winners in friendship or dating.
Like Part 1, who disagrees? Who agrees? Who has gone through this? Let me know (comment box has been fixed so It's welcomed to all) No arguments!!! Agree to Disagree *another personal friendship rule*
Showing posts with label the code. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the code. Show all posts
Monday, October 22, 2012
Really Friend?!? Really??? Part 1
No one who knows me will ever say I don't take my friendships seriously. There are my family members I got to pick. I don't have many. It hurts when I have to let one go, especially when other people are the reason. It makes me frown to see other people's friendships break up because of other people. Breaking up because the dating rules is the worse.
What happened to the "code"? No better yet Let me rephrase the question. How many friendships are bound by the "code"? *sigh* The "code" aka The unwritten rules of friendship. The rule you don't break even if they say it's okay. And they approve, you don't do it because you are a true friend. The 2 rules I want focus on are1) Do Not date or purposely sleep with an ex of friend. 2) If interest in the same person and we both know it we check who that person is actually interested in and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.
This blog will focus on the rule: Do Not Date or Purposely Sleep with an ex of a friend.
I've been interested in this topic for a few years. I follow the Friendship Code closely. And the relationship parts I can't imagine breaking. Well some years ago I had to get concerned when a friend's (still my friend) interest in an ex of mine that was too much for my comfort. She only saw him once in passing at the fair. Then it become "Omg, he sexy" "Like y'all are just friends, now" I thought I had just step into daytime TV hell. I didn't know how to react but something to me to wait her behavior out. While I waited I would bring up the "code" up in conversation. Well after awhile when there a possible meeting between him and us again her statements changed to "Oh is he's going to have friends over for me to meet also"?.
Within the past decades I hear more friends dating their friends ex's than I used to. Most experiences are not positive ones. Friendships are being broken. Makes me think there "the code" no longer matters but all these broken friendships tells me it's not. Some say "They weren't really your friend". In many cases I might agree. I actually also think Friends need to have "code" conversations. After my experience I started having them with mine. Trust me you'll find out a lot about your friend if you do. Some say "what if it's true love" Perhaps but how often does this end in true love. Uh huh, that's what I thought.
I figured my friends and I have different tastes in the people we date but similar dating standards and values. Well if they broke up and probably because of something I think is not right. So why would I get their ex for us to got through that to.
Okay so who disagrees? Who agrees? Who has gone through this? Let me know (comment box has been fixed so It's welcomed to all) No arguments!!! Agree to Disagree *another personal friendship rule*
What happened to the "code"? No better yet Let me rephrase the question. How many friendships are bound by the "code"? *sigh* The "code" aka The unwritten rules of friendship. The rule you don't break even if they say it's okay. And they approve, you don't do it because you are a true friend. The 2 rules I want focus on are1) Do Not date or purposely sleep with an ex of friend. 2) If interest in the same person and we both know it we check who that person is actually interested in and the friend they aren't interested in walks away no questions ask.
This blog will focus on the rule: Do Not Date or Purposely Sleep with an ex of a friend.
I've been interested in this topic for a few years. I follow the Friendship Code closely. And the relationship parts I can't imagine breaking. Well some years ago I had to get concerned when a friend's (still my friend) interest in an ex of mine that was too much for my comfort. She only saw him once in passing at the fair. Then it become "Omg, he sexy" "Like y'all are just friends, now" I thought I had just step into daytime TV hell. I didn't know how to react but something to me to wait her behavior out. While I waited I would bring up the "code" up in conversation. Well after awhile when there a possible meeting between him and us again her statements changed to "Oh is he's going to have friends over for me to meet also"?.
Within the past decades I hear more friends dating their friends ex's than I used to. Most experiences are not positive ones. Friendships are being broken. Makes me think there "the code" no longer matters but all these broken friendships tells me it's not. Some say "They weren't really your friend". In many cases I might agree. I actually also think Friends need to have "code" conversations. After my experience I started having them with mine. Trust me you'll find out a lot about your friend if you do. Some say "what if it's true love" Perhaps but how often does this end in true love. Uh huh, that's what I thought.
I figured my friends and I have different tastes in the people we date but similar dating standards and values. Well if they broke up and probably because of something I think is not right. So why would I get their ex for us to got through that to.
Okay so who disagrees? Who agrees? Who has gone through this? Let me know (comment box has been fixed so It's welcomed to all) No arguments!!! Agree to Disagree *another personal friendship rule*
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