I Promise to Blog as Soon as I Get My Emotions Right

Dallas was under attack last night, Thursday night. My home, My City was under attack.

I stay 15 minutes south of Downtown Dallas. The same area Erykah Badu is from & talk about in this song above. I had just tweeted that my tweet was shown on Big Brother before it ended. Went up to the front of my home, I was just looking around outside & locking up the house because somebody in my Fair Park area neighborhood was still shooting firecrackers. You know that is annoying. Then I looked at my grandmother's TV at Breaking News. *sigh* I would rather hear firecrackers than about anyone being shot.

Somebody was firing bullets after a peaceful Black Lives Matter protest in Downtown Dallas. They say you don’t get a true picture of an incident until it happens to you. When it was Ferguson, LA, Baltimore, it is sad to watch. But when it is your home, it is frightening, mind blowing & unreal. I had just passed by Downtown, the other day. The college, El Centro, whose garage the shooter eventually was hold up and died in, was the community college I went to for some courses. The year I decided to find myself, one of the places I found myself was taking classes at El Centro so I could transfer to Lamar University after I left University of Texas at Arlington. The infamous Green Building Aka Bank of America Plaza, my mother retired from her job in that building. One of my aunts works in that area, also. It was unreal to see all of that unfold.

Oh & Yes, I am person who believes Black Lives Matter & I Back the Blue, also. That became very apparent last night. I have a cousin, VJ, black man, who lives in some lofts in Downtown Dallas. Until the they cornered the shooter in El Centro garage, I worried for him. I figured he was not at the protest but Bullets don’t know directions. But the shooters location was known and I knew that my cousin’s loft was on the opposite end of Downtown I relaxed for a moment. Only for us to find out that another black male cousin, M&M was down there for the protest and his car was in the area where the action was. VJ told M&M to come to his loft but the police had M&M locked up in one of the hotels. So, we knew that he was not on the street. Then reports were coming that most of the victims were cops. I know quite few cops. My hairdresser’s husband is police. My teenage crush at my foundation church is an officer. I had to just pray. Black Lives Matter & Back the Blue are always in my prayers but last night I had to put names & faces to those causes. And I am happy to say all are safe. M&M is a t home. And both guys I know in law enforcement were not Downtown but rather at their respective precincts.

It's sad but this time I could not go through the paces of hoping that the shooter was not black. I knew he was black. Maybe not the one that was misidentified (Open has in effect since January 1, 2016. And it took July 7, 2016 for us to have proof it is not an equal opportunity liberty, here. 7 whole months, Texas I’m so proud of you) but I knew he was black. Many felt like because the police were negotiating with him, he was white Many felt because the mayor & police chief would release his name right away, he wasn’t black. No, he was black. Many don’t realize that Dallas will try it’s hardest to seem to act better than other places. The crime rate is already extremely too high. They can’t look like Baton Rouge & Falcon Heights. Dallas has to look like a shining example on how to handle things the best way Dallas can. And this case was not any different and it has a black police chief at the helm. Oh and a robot killed the suspect.

Now what is crazy is that the shooter Micah Xavier Johnson, live in the Dallas suburb of Mesquite that is 10 minutes to the east of my home. I am in Mesquite at least 3 times a month. Mesquite is not urban blight. And as Johnson’s facts are released, he is not a stereotypical thug but was an army reservist. I probably passed him at a Walmart, bank or mall. His crime was still not warranted. It did not have to happen. And the other possible suspects in custody that want to stay mum might as well start talking. It’s already reported that Johnson said he was after White cops & people. He been planning this shooting for a while. Last night was his opportunity to execute it, If there is a different story to be said being quiet won’t get it heard. Also, if they didn’t even know Johnson there is no use going down some crap if they don’t have to.

I got my thoughts all out. There’s no bubble to crawl into so it’s time to do my part in healing. I lift up in prayer & stand with everyone affected by the senseless violence that happened in Downtown Dallas, in our country, USA & all over our planet, Earth. ‪#‎Dallas‬ ‪#‎PrayForDallas‬ ‪#‎PrayfortheUSA‬ ‪#‎PrayfortheWorld‬ ‪#‎DallasStrong‬ ‪#‎DallasisMyHome‬

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

I Know I Need to Blog But...

I am Not in the darn mood. The climate of the country I call home is unreal right now. It's not new but right now it is overwhelming.

I'm tired of being "Woke". I'm so "Woke" right now that I want to cry myself to "Sleep". I really wish I could detach from it all and live in a bubble. But only a coward would actually do that. But heck my nosiness would would "Wake" me back up. So, No Worries, I Stay Woke!!!

But it is hard to blog about what I want to share. Yet, I will share it despite up. Somebody might need my a post just to think about something else. And I said on FaceBook, The world will never stop while you live your life

Rest in Peace to Alton Sterling & Philando Castile.I lift up prayers for your families. I don't understand how selling CDs or having a busted tail light could escalate to your death. But I (We ) have to trust "It Will All Come Out in the Wash". Or as the elderly church lady in my mind is saying, "We'll Understand It Better By & By"

 As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Relax, It's Just Hair!!! (Another Relaxer Stretch)

What? I have relaxed hair and I want it longer. So, I'm on a journey. But you know this already. Well, I hit a bump in the road last December. Last Fall, I got sick and my hormones went a little wacky. Then I also burned my hair trying to keep it straight. I mean I only flat ironing once a week but I was passing the flat iron & electric comb through at least 4 times for every section.

So, I had to wack my hair to my bottom of my ears to rid the damage I cause. So, it was side part unders & roller sets for a while. Those are my boring I mean classic go-to styles for my hair. But I didn't stay classic for a long. I saw a lady at church with this pretty twist out. I gave her a compliment and she told me it was a crochet weave. My reaction caused her to say, "Yeah, crochets are so different than the 90s. I found this one on YouTube". I thought Crochet Braids in the 90s were Cheesy. They just looked fake and plastic. They were like a failed microbraid dupe. And apparently those who wore them regretted them because I took me some time to find somebody (I didn't know *wink*) on the internet with them. I finally found one.

Since I am talking crap about her hair choices, I cropped her face

So, off to Youtube I went. The possibilities were endless.

Then I was talking about it on Facebook and my cousin, Clois said she'll do mine. And in February, I got a crochet weave. Fun Fact: I hadn't had "professional braids of any kind since 2003. And for six weeks I kept my hands off my hair. It needed a break from me. I loved the style. I got so many compliments. The only drawback is this particular style is for the cold. And guess what it really didn't do this winter? Yep, it didn't get very cold. So after two or three weeks, I had to started pulling some of the curls up.

And by the last week. I had pulled it all up into. My hair grew quite bit. I could have relaxed my hair after I took the braids out but I decided to stay on schedule and waited two more months. And I am happy to say I got my length back to it's original fighting length.

It's so humid outside

Yeah, I played with chopping it off and going my to a short bob but I am happy to see this length. My ponytail is a decent size now. Plus, the shorter the hair, the less time I get to sleep longer. I can brush my teeth and take rollers out or unwrap my hair at the same time. So, I just got it wrapped. It's easier to manipulate into a classic side part under or a flip than if I had a curlier style.

And when I your birthday event rolls around and your hair is dirty,

It is easy to style into this French Braid style. It's is a variation of a style I saw on a relaxed hair vlogger, AllofDestiny's Youtube channel. The video is below. Check it out. A Facebook page I follow (Heck I follow them on Twitter & Instagram too) called Celebrate Relaxed Hair posted her picture and I had to know what she did.

It is a very easy style. I just French braided my hair on both sides and added my handy dandy bun piece. I added some hoop earrings and I was ready for the shindig. I got a some compliments on this style. So, it a Keeper!!! Oh and be prepared to see this hairstyle in a later post even though my hair will be clean.

So, that's it for this Relaxer Stretch update.

Hey, we all have setbacks of some kind in life. Next time along with a length check, I plan to have tried what I think will be a more temperature friendly crochet weave style. There are some very cute styles out there and I plan to try them out towards the last six weeks of my stretches. Any safe way I can keep my hands out of my head, is good for me.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

The Audience at Life's Performances.

Life is a theater so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives.

Some people in your life need to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships, and family!

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to Which ones lift and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?

Which ones always have drama or don't understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around!

Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life.

Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW

Even though I celebrate my birthday all month long, my official events with my June Birthday Bestie, T.T. have come to a close. Every year within the past 6 years maybe, I am reminded of this poem above, which was emailed to me years ago. Growing up, I celebrated my birthdays traveling a lot. My birthday would usually fall during the week of the National Baptist Sunday School & Baptist Training Union (BTU) Congress. I was an attendee, for some of those years. One year, we were traveling back home from Los Angeles and at midnight, a charter bus full of church members broke out into a round of "Happy Birthday". I think that was my 13th birthday. In my twenties, people would be nice and throw me dinner or a party but invariably somebody would be upset by the end of the event. And even though my loved ones meant well, by age 27, I refused for anyone else to plan an event ever again.

As I get older I realize all the people that cause the major issues at 20s events are people that are not in my life now. As I get older, life has changed for me so, I know it has changed for other people. Sometimes the people at Act 5 of Life's performance are not around for Act 10.

Some left because you are not their type of play. Some acted up and the ushers had to escort them out of the Life Theater. This goes for the people on the Front Row to Last Row.

My birthday is not limited to Front Row people but they are the people I think of first. Over the years, that front row has changed. I remember one birthday, only two Front Row people were celebrating in person with me (It was a Monday). That was 8 years ago.

One is no longer a front-row person. She's not watching my performance anymore. I realized that I was not her type of theatrical work and she was not mine. Probably like the poem says, I should have observed some things earlier and switched that seat some time ago.

But That's Life!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Underrated Black Music Artist List (It's Black Music Month)

Yep, it is Black Music Month! To commemorate I decided to make two opinionated list. The Underrated music artists.

Now, let me define Underrated.The artists that pop culture just plays with and never give them shine. Some of you guys see them but because you have to move from the machine that tells you what is cool, sometime you ignore them. Oh, the video on top? That's just my latest overplayed song on my playlist. It is called
Purse First" by Bob the Drag Queen. He won this past season on RuPaul's Drag Race. He's black. And I am a fan.

My grandfather told me a story of a church musician that really challenged them to sing. Her complaint was, "All y'all wanna do is pat your a-word and holler". Isn't that what go goes for today's music. Well, 'Purse First" does that to me so, Enjoy!!!

5. Kem  I can't explain why he is underrated. He has a nice voice and his music seems very universal. I love" I Can't Stop Loving You" & "Share My Life". It was weird when I heard him more as a ringtone on my sister's phone than I did on the radio. Now, I am feeling him as a feature on Gregory Porter's song Hold On.

4. Tweet This past week she was the topic of this week's Being. I missed it because I was out but everyone I asked about was so eager to talk about who she is currently dating. Umm excuse my gossip craze, she has a new album out called Charlene. And Won't Hurt Me is great. So many (included me) have said, we wished Tweet come out with one more good album. Tweet is good. I knew it when I heard her harmonize some lyrics in "Motel".

♫Go to hell baby

Cause I know I saw you go into a motel♫

OMG, I was a fan. Now, she has a new album. ♫Do whatever you feel you gotta do it♫ but stop sleeping on Tweet.

3. Raheem Devaughn Y'all are funny. He sings the perfect balance of sex & love. He had song called "BOB" (Battery Operated Boyfriend) on an album. He even had a real raunchy video to the song, "Single" come out a few years ago. Even K. Michelle put you guys onto When You Love Someone and thought y'all loved her whatever popular reality show she is on. Maybe he's going to ditch the love stuff, smack the "Customer" on her butt while she is a BOB. But then I won't like her. Don't change Raheem, never mind.

2. Corinne Bailey Rae All music can't make you feel good. I feel like that church musician for earlier, Yes, I a fan from the start with "Put Your Records On". My rollers sets were called The Corinne Bailey Rae at that time.

I loved that she melodically sung her pain in "Do It All Again". Her husband had just die and I understood. While she telling people even though all this happening, she is still not giving up on love, folks were complaining that it was to dark. *sigh*  Rae went away and while the masses are sipping Lemonade, she is dropping music. Have you seen Green Aphrodisiac? No, you haven't because nobody is wondering why she is wearing or holding a gold marijuana plant. I have and I have questions. I think the song is about being high on life.

1. Lalah Hathaway Let this woman win another Grammy in ceremonies earlier than the live show and I will scream. I know "But she has the awards". Lalah Hathaway should be winning the awards that are seen by the masses. Y'all know my favorite singer is Twinkie Clark. Lalah Hathaway is next. Her song is pure & innovative. Y'all know I love that in an artists. I have been a fan of her since the 90's when, she came out with Baby Don't Cry. Back when she snapped her fingers & did the side to side step the whole video. Her voice is hear in some many genres from Gospel to Jazz. Have you heard her version of "Ultimate Relationship". You will cry out "My God". Lalah's voice should be heard on not just Adult Contemporary radio but Pop radio. Mirror is out, now. I wish the masses would stop hiding their ears, so they could hear her.

If I could have honorable mentions, it would be Luke James & Michelle Williams. 

So, this is my list of the Top 5 Underrated Black Music Artists that I Love. I hope you guys go listen to them, if you don't already. Who's on your list? Leave then in the comments below.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

A Blog Highlight!!!

This probably a 1st because I never made a post about pubbing a blog. I follow so many but this one is different.

Birthday Indulgence!
Chicken with Spinach & Carrots
Pinot Grigio sauce over Pasta
Roma tomatoes

Yesterday, was my birthday. Celebrated it in a Very adult responsible style (work, housework, cooking, lurking #BlackGuyNerds on Twitter). My Grandmother & mother gave me gifts. It was very nice and quaint birthday, so far. I had Birthday brunch & cake, Sunday and have two more events later. Then today, I got so very happy news.

So my friend, Pink Red started her own blog. And her introductory post included her telling me, I was the inspiration. I had no clue. I know she reads my posts. She's commented on a few of them. And am honored to be an inspiration. Guess that's what being yourself get you.

Well to tell her Thank You, I am "pubbing" her blog. She's just getting started with her introduction but I believe in her. If you think I am real, Pink Red or as she calls herself, ItzMeAllDay is going to be Real. I don't have Fake friends. So, go check her out at Random Babblings (if that link doesn't work here is the URL, http://randombabblingsofme.blogspot.com/) and support her.

Oh, her name will still be Pink Red on here. I worked hard to think of that name. That's a thesaurus researched name, LoL Check her out.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Answering My FAQs

So, I am heading into my 5th blogiversary and before year 4 ends I decided to answer my Frequently Asked Questions, in one post.

Will You Ever Reveal Your "Real" Name?
If you follow me on Twitter, I actually did last Thanksgiving (2015). I thought since I was grateful for being me, change your username for the day. So, I did. LoL There are only two ways I will state my biological name outside of  anything connected to offline land & Facebook. 1.When I passed away from this world & enter New Life, and if I still have a blog. a post will be released to say I, biological name aka OUTSPOKEN_DIVA has passed away. Dang, I guess I better write that post or at least put a note in my prayer diary for my loved ones to type one. 2. If/When I write my memoir, there will be an OUTSPOKEN_DIVA chapter. Oh and to the petty, messy jerk reading this that knows my bio name and wants to reveal before I do...

Speak in languages folks understand!

A Memoir, You Would Write Life Story?
Yeah, I really would if I have the opportunity(given or created by me). I even have a title. No, I will not tell you. This is the internet.

Why Do You Say "Biological Name"?
News Flash!!! I am a bit of a snob. Biological Name means the name that was given to me at birth. "Government Name" doesn't pertain to me. My dad named me not Uncle Sam. "Real Name" means that OUTSPOKEN_DIVA is not my real blog name.

How Big Are Your Breasts?
People who email me this question are usually trolls. BUT  if you are not my Lord or my husband & you wanted to know this answer go to this post right HERE. 

What Won't You Talk About?
Oh that is an easy question with many answers here are some:

• I will Never reveal anyone I know in offline land biological name.
• I will Never tease, make fun or be overly critical someone because of their religion, sexuality, gender, race or creed.
• I will Never make a cruel post.
• I will Never endorsement a political candidate. I don't care who you vote for just vote.
• I will Never play pranks on here.
• I will Never rate or review porn or sex toys of any kind.
• I will Never post Nudity.

Does that answer that question?

Will You Ever Vlog?
I toy with that idea but my answer will be Not Today

So, now I have a question for you. Do you want me to another answer questions post? If so, Send me question to me email C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@GMAIL.COM or as I always say, put them in the Comment sections

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms