Help Me Understand: Butt Slapping and Squeeezing

Okay many of my random blog topic come to me during my random thought time or late at night when I’m trying to go to sleep. Then there are times when I watching something non-thought provoking and a subject come to me.

I was watching the Newlywed Game. The questions was Name something your husband does not think is manly. One of the wives said “Touching his butt”. My mother and I laughed and said we know some guys who feel the same way. Then I said I don’t get slapping and squeezing butts anyway. And then this blog topic came up.

I asked my ex turned best friend and he said “To find out if it's soft and like to see it move”. Ok that made sense for a moment. Maybe for someone who has a round butt but why do people who don’t have those get smacked. Why do women smack guys on the behinds? To find out if it doesn't move. I just don’t understand what is supposed to be sexy about it.

Y’all help me understand slapping and squeezing someone on the butt. I’ve done it once or twice and still don’t get it. Was there a social or bird & bee lesson I missed along the way. I get rubbing it in an intimate way between two consenting adults. That makes sense. But random slapping and pinching, I have a question mark on my face.

Maybe that’s why I react to being hit in a Not-So-Sexy way. I just don’t understand. Probably identify with one of those husbands on the Newlywed Game. The nicest thing I can say and have said is “Don’t do that” but y’all know I forget to be nice when I feel violated.

Well maybe someone will help explain it fully to me. Maybe something people do that will never be explained in a way I will understand. I just don’t understand Butt slapping and squeezing. And keep your hand off of mine.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

College Graduate Confessions: My Response to Those Who Didn't Go

Starting a new Blog Series. College Graduate Confessions. Had some down time and my mind got to going on thoughts about me being a college graduate. Enjoy

I am a College Graduate. Actually my degree is 10 years old this year (August), Yay! I stay on top of my professional study courses as much as I can, also. One day I’m going to get my Masters (No I'm not a person constantly say that either).  Life will not stand in the way forever. But it amazes me how many people I know that feel the need to say in my presence how they were tired of school when they graduated high school. I have been asked/told whether I like been in school numerous time in life.  Maybe it’s me but it is So Annoying. From the time I was graduating high school until this day there are these people that feel the need to say it. I feel like a jerk if I respond but this my blog and I can be a jerk if I want to.  So is what I want to say so badly.

I knew I wanted to go to college since I was 9 years old. I knew I belonged on a college campus when I was in high school hoping that college had to be better than this. I was 85% correct. Portions of college can be just a Dumb as high school. I chose college it didn’t choose me. I didn’t go because everyone else was going to college. I wanted to go. Yes, I like going to school. I like learning. You chose your path and I chose mine. Now let go live our lives.

Okay I got typed out. Trust me most people in the world know that every one is not College material. Most people know every one can not go to college. That's what make our world so beautiful and diverse.

It is just that some people don’t get that they sound as annoying to me as those people that brag that they have their BA from Lah-Lah, MBA from Blah-Blah and getting their PHD from the story goes on. (Yeah those that Brag about their degrees get on my nerves to). I don’t know if people are saying that they didn’t go to school because they feel inferior and want to justify why they didn’t go, want you to feel bad for going to school, or they are just aimlessly talking thinking they are fitting in. It is probably a strange combination of all three. I just want it to stop. Especially around people like me who don’t care what you do with your life as long as you are a decent citizen to this world. They are slime balls with and without degrees, everywhere. Just care about not being one of them.

I’m just tired of hearing it. We all need to live our own lives. We don’t owe anyone an explanation as long as it is right and good. So let’s get back to living our living as decently as we can make them.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Rom Com Love Life

The best way to describe my dating life is a Long Running Rom Com Series. I came that conclusion after being in a club convinced by a close male friend that a guy’s eyes were glistening for me. I get on the dance floor with said friend and put my Best Moves down. Sat down, dude approached me and said “Why isn't you friend looking back at me”. And this “Will & Grace” moment was when I started to notice my dating life for what it was. I can’t stand Daft Punk’s “One More Time” after that event. My Best moves! My best Moves! My Best Moves! Wasted!

Added to the plot line, I am actually friends with some (not all. That’s not normal) of my ex’s. One ex is considered one of my best friends now. If we break up and I (and only I) say we can be friends, I mean it.

I got the wedding invitation of an ex (we grew up in the same church that’s how met. Dated well over a decade ago) turned friend the day before we rushed Momma to ER. Mentally, I picked out my outfit and was going to call Pal (Yeah he’s finer than the friend. Can’t drag BFF’s or my sister to all the weddings. Now that I think about it this particular ex escorted me to another ex’s wedding over a decade ago too. Wow, Patterns) to go, That Day. Then Life happened and I forgot. Heck, I forgot to gossip to my friends that he was getting married until after the fact.

I knew he was in a serious relationship. My sister first  saw her at a funeral. This time last year he ask for my opinion about some earrings for her. I finally saw her at his Dad's funeral this summer. I hated, I miss the nuptials.  I'll save the outfit for the next wedding or funeral I must attend at Foundation church.

I was telling my friend, Pink Red about it. (The conversation was the inspiration of this Blog) She was shocked (overstatement) I was invited. I was not. My love life gets invited to uncomfortable situations all the time. I usually pass with A’s or High B’s. Voluntarily bringing others along for the ride is what gets me B’s. Being single for so long, I think it has given me time to think. If we are friends now, then We. Are. Friends. Now. No need to not be in their corner for whoever they date or decide to marry, because I’m not dating them. And they better be in my corner when I get married. I’ll need them as ushers and somebody will have to walk my down the aisle. I’m fatherless (Yes, I am laughing through those last statements).

So here is are some questions. Are you real friends with any ex’s? Would they invite you to their wedding? Would you invite them to your wedding? Leave a comment below.

 

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms.

What is in a Blog Name? (If You Write It…They Will Want to Gossip)

WoW, my most read blog posts are the ones I gave controversial titles and scold people for coming to it to gain gossip from it just because of its title.  I didn’t realize it until I got an email (not a comment a cowardly email) from a reader (I actually know this person offline) who told me 
“If you don’t people to be nosey don’t give your blogs the names you give them. You can’t be mad just because of people just trying to get the tea. That’s mean!” 
That reader can do me a favor and stop reading my blog forever.

I’m used to attitudes like this. I grew up in a place where my family is known. (Not the whole city but our little community, jobs, schools, & churches) Not powerful but known. The picture non-family members and non-friends paint of us is a conservative, goodie-goodie, law-abiding, bougie, well-to-do, nice people with a few loud rabble-rousers we keep in line sometime. Of course, that is not the total picture of us. Some of that is not even in our real picture.  And of course, I’m not thought to be one of the rabble-rousers. I grew up with people who had expectations for me made based on who they thought I was all my life. I love breaking those expectations based on thoughts and opinions and not facts about me. Since I was not thought to be one of those family rabble-rousers I lived my life in the open but since they were looking at the rabble-rousers, I could go unnoticed. Then when they would actually look over and see me doing what the rabble-rousers were doing, the fingers and tongues go to wagging. 

Then they would have to deal with another part of me. The “Tell You Off” part of me. Back when I was a teenager that might have included insults and profane language. Now I handle it with a little bit more finesse. Either way, I don’t mind telling people to stop boxing me in based on their self-made expectations, opinions, or experiences of or with me. Then don’t think that they can find anything that disqualifies me from the box they put me in. I don’t mind at all.

I title my blogs my way and my way only. I’m just trying to be creative. And yes, Creativity has its critics. I just know that my blog will be read by many of those folks that box me in and then try to boot me out of that box. It's also read by my people who love me. It is also read by people who truly want to get to know me and know how I think. I shared this blog on my emails & Facebook page that is Not under the name of OUTSPOKEN_DIVA but my real name.

So, I am aware that somebody with a gossipy spirit will think they got the Tea, Cocoa, and Coffee on me. There are just some people that just won’t accept what you see is what you get. See me for Facts that I Am and not your Opinion I am more than likely Not!

Sexuality Questions is the highest read. Folks want to see if I'm coming out of a closet I've never been in. LMBO But  My Favorite Holiday get no love. I guess it's not Interesting enough!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

It’s Halloween and I Don’t Like Horror Films (Confession Time)

 

It’s the time of the year where I cling to my personal DVD collection. I watch them because any movie on TV or shown at a party is usually a Horror film. I’ve never like Horror films & shows. They freak me out. Not while watching them most times, it the hour(s) after the movie that make scared. The last Horror movie I saw was “Skeleton Key” in 2006. I thought if I watched it at 9:30 am, maybe this would make me handle the movie better. NOPE!!! Doorbell rung, I jumped. Then I passed by a mirror and had to go back by because I swore I didn’t see my reflection. I decided that day not only put a parental lock on that movie title on my TV but never watch anything in the Horror Genre again. My emotions cannot handle it.

I know I will not get any sympathy. My friends are always saying I need to see the movie or show of the Horror Genre. Just this Monday night my friend BJ ask me was I watch American Horror Story: Coven.  I immediately said NO. Then he went into the usual “It not even scary. It’s funny this season”. Funny my butt. Voodoo is not funny. The bumps in the night is not funny. Things jump out and make me jump, scream, and having to calm my heart down is not funny.

So that me OUTSPOKEN_DIVA an adult scare of the Horror genre. Oh I’m not going to Haunted Houses either. I’m going to look at what scares me in the face. You’re are out of your mind. Praise God it is TV Thursday this Halloween. Big Bang Theory, Grey’s Anatomy (I know it will Halloween themed) and Scandal will give me entertainment this year.

OH! Happy Halloween!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

October Awareness Lip Ombre'

Yeah I got Very Cute for a Cause. October is Domestic Violence and Breast Cancer Awareness Month (A Blog I did in 2011). So I decided to paint my lips in honor of the month.

The Purple lip liner is for Domestic Violence Awareness

 & the Pink lipstick and gloss is for Breast Cancer Awareness.

I wear the ribbons and the colors all the time. This time I just decided to let my mouth show my message. Got some compliments so I got to tell the message behind my look. I even met a Ten-Year Breast Cancer Survivor that day in the grocery store also. We were slapping high-fives all around.
Maybe next year I'll have a matching eye makeup look also. Keyword is Maybe. *smiles* But before then let's be aware of these two issues not just in October but all year long.!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

A New Kind of Experience with My Mom

Past few weeks I have been singing, humming, and praying this song. My mother was sick. So sick that my sister & I have to take her to the hospital. So sick she was admitted to the hospital. That was this past Saturday. Two weeks ago, we thought she had a stomach virus. Boy, were we wrong. But she on the path of healing her stomach thank to the care of the kind staff, starting from ER to ICU to her short stint Med-Surg. Today, we brought her home. She happy to be in her bed. Heck, she was happy to walk to her bed.

Saturday was the scariest day for me. When it was my grandparents, I was usually the one to stay at the house to man the phones & take care of my brother (He has cerebral palsy and it severely mentally challenged). So actually being at the hospital to sign papers and having to be the one to tell everyone what the DR’s said that 1^st day was unreal. Yeah I took a tear moment after taking to my family & friends (heck they’re family too). Just saying what was wrong did me in. It was like at that moment, it all became real. Kevin Hart has a line in one of comedy DVD’s “Nooo, I’m not ready”. I was not!!! I knew this would happen maybe 10, 15 years in the future. But me at this age, signing papers But me at this age, discussing with my sister on what the Doctors are saying.  But me at this age, dispatching family member to do certain tasks. No, No, No not at this age. Yes, at this age. I finally stop feeling like it was just me doing this for my mom and remember it someone who has did and is doing these same tasks. I was not the first and won’t me the last. Grow Up!!! It is not about me.

One of my best friends, T.T. said it best, God is THE healer!!! Such a True sentence. I know he is going to continue to heal her and let his will be done. And I am not going to get in his way. It wouldn’t matter, it’s not lie he needs my permission. Alright my family is getting some rest and I am part of the family. *sleepy smile*

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms