Happy Birthday Miss Smiles!!!

Yeah, I did something cliche' for my birthday. LoL The last time my birthday was on a Monday, I turned __ and that is considered one of the "Big" ages. My family surprised me with an ice cream cake. Then I went out to eat with my BFF We will call "Love" for this blog and a former friend (Don't look at me crazy. If you read my blog you know my friendship temperaments). Dinner was winding down and I up and decided I wanted a Tattoo. I always wanted one (somewhere on my foot (most people around me don't have foot tattoos) or toe), a small Smiley Face but I never felt like it was ever the right time. Until then.

I might need to bring that hairstyle back

So off we go. I found the perfect one with assistance from the group, who are actually "Walking, Talking Pieces of Paper" themselves. The Perfect Smiley Face. So I got one.

Yes, I'm fast. I have on a skirt.
That skirt is slightly too big now and goes past my knees. LoL
#weightlossbrag

It hurt a little. Like a continual booster shot but then I can look at people putting those in my arm and not move. Finally, Miss Smiles was born.

Miss Smiles is a reminder that God Blessed me to live a "Happy Life". Why my foot? If my feet hurt, I hurt. LoL For some odd reason I get comfort in rubbing my feet. I have literally been going through and noticed myself rubbing my feet as I pray. Plus No One I know has one on their foot. Point Blank, that's the story.

Happy Birthday, Miss Smiles!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Proud to be a Dead Beat’s Daughter

I'm in a small population of people that does Not blame her absent father for the crappiness in her life. I am in a small population of people that Never longed or wanted her parents to be together again. I can’t want something that I never knew to happen. I know it’s weird to say but that is how I feel.

I don't live a bad life. All my needs have always met. I live a happy life. I am Blessed. I don’t see where having my father in my life would have made it better. Maybe if he was a better person maybe but he wasn’t. I actually think thing may have been worse. Even as a child, we (my siblings & I) were better off with a single mother. No fighting parents (stepparent for my siblings). I never experienced violence in our home. Matter of fact I maybe the most volatile person in my home. Which I was reminded by other family member that was something I inherited from him. I've seen other family members on my mother's side, he not the only family member I got from. LoL My mother never talked bad about my father. Actually unless she had to speak about him all she didn’t. But he (who I mostly saw by random accidents) talked bad about her and her family, the family that raised me. Especially my grandfather, who was my main father figure. I never liked that. He was not doing anything but vileness had the audacity to leave his lips. So by the time I was 21, I decided he & I didn't share values, goals & respect about life & people, so being in each other’s lives would not be likely. The last time I saw him was downtown on the bus stop on my way home from summer school during my undergrad days. I saw him and was about to speak when he said “What’s you name”? Most people would've went off. I didn’t. I told him, “Your daughter”. And like all other random times I would see him, he was fatherly. Even told me that I needed to get my grades up after telling him my average GPA. He didn't care much about school after high school. He was a Track & Field man. He eventually became a certified official for young people‘s track & field events (Yes, it’s were I get my love of the sport from). I guess wanted me to be the best I can be at what I chose to do. The last time I spoke to my father was a year before his passing when he called to tell me his mother died. He caught up on my life (college graduate & business owner) and finally sound less bitter at my mother and family.

In my blog post, The Decision has Been Made, Just Be Still I told you about my experience & feelings when my father passed away. I didn't go to the funeral. Why show up now and be daughterly in death and I was never that way in life. I respected & loved  him as the vehicle the Lord used to give me life. But I truly think that was all he was supposed to be. If I'm wrong I'll find out later. He was not the one of the people to raise me and get me to become viable citizen of this world. I guess that’s why I don’t blame his absence for any screw up I made in life. Many blame their absent parents, I can’t. I know enough about him to understand my physical & mental health. I just don't see how my life would be better if he had play a more active role in my life. I refuse to play the “should've, could’ve, would’ve” game with that part of my life. I think it is perfect as it is.

Well Father’s Day is coming up soon. Love on yours. My siblings & I will love on our mom. We always have on Father’s Day. I don’t remember not loving on her on that day. She still hasn't said what she wants for dinner. She has until Friday before I make an executive decision. LoL Part of my day will be giving well wishes to the Fathers I know. I think they might be my new Father figures. Umm, I will have to give that some serious thought. I’ll also remember my Father figures that are not here with me physically but in my heart. My grandfather, uncle, great-uncles and my Football Nerd will always be missed but Loved more.

And Yes, to you Dad, Happy Father's Day.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

No Cussing on the Internet

Today, I saw an upsetting article (Woman putting hair relaxer on their eyelashes) on FB. I spelled out a profane word when I shared the article and had to erase it because I remembered my personal rule of "No Cussing on the Internet".
I don't use profane language on the internet. No it's not a hypocrisy against my offline life. Cussing or cursing for me is a vice. I am a part of a cussing family. The S-word is like the first cuss word you learn in my family. Have you ever seen The Wire. Remember Senator Clay Davis extended S-word stretches? Yeah, him up there. He's kin to us. He has to be. He sound like my grandmother's sisters. LoL  By the time I was 10 years old, my mouth could go. I have even made up compound cuss words and phrases.(There are words (vulgar body parts (p-word, d-word, c-word) except the a-word (donkey) I don't say) Then one day with in the past 5-6 years I realized I sound not so cute in my verbiage sometimes. So I gave myself  a 5 cuss word a day limit. I try my hardest not to go over 5 profane words a day. Some days I make it. Some day I don't. I went a whole week without going over 5 profane a day. Then something happened (I know what. Just not sharing) and well that became the longest I have never went over the limit. So with the various stuff to be seen on the internet some albeit down right stupid, if I cussed on the internet I would never make my limit. I can use five words just on Hair Relaxer on Eyelashes easily. I know someone my age typing a-word, s-word, b-word and others seem silly. But it keeps me from a vice that I am trying to break. No yeah for me No Cussing on the Internet.

What is something you do offline that you don't do on the internet? Leave your answers in the comment section.

 As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Not Interesting Dating…Ex’s

After the Long Distanced post, a reader asked me

I'm not J. Mac or his sister, I promise. I am just a nosy fan!

If J. Mac moved back, would you date him again?

My Long Distanced did and I'm just wondering...

So this blog post is born.

Ex’s has teetered that grey area many times. But every time I try to either date again off the Good Ex list or be friendly with one of the Bad Ex list, God put barriers there to stop me. So I decided I am “Queen No Backsies”.  So this post could easily be “Why I am Queen No Backsies”.

Okay, I'm going to try not to look gullible but as my mother says “We all have had some dark days in romance”. A Songwriter even said, “Everybody plays the fool sometimes”. There are two times that I tried to go back that stand out make me look very stupid. 

Once a Bad Ex text me a couple of years after I broke things off asking could he and I be friends. Either sleepiness or forgiveness made me say yeah and me being friends with him last all from Thanksgiving time until Christmas time. A Chosen Family member, who didn't know he had contacted me at all called me and dropped some knowledge about his actions while we were dating that blew me away. Christmas day he text me Merry Christmas and I sent him a “Nicety” message that didn’t tell him Happy Holidays. Well, on New Year’s Day he wished a nice one and I had to go intellectually crazy and say “Nicks the friends crap and leave me alone”. I got told to “Go to Hell” and as far as he is concerned that is where I am. He tried to speak when I was on my way to a massage last year and I didn't speak because I am where… Right!!! That’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.

Have you ever had a guy say he wanted to try again with you and literally forget? I have. Yep, and the dude is on the Good Ex’s list. All I said was I will give it some thought. I never told him when but I gave myself, 6 weeks. And I really did think. I went to one of my male BFF’s for advice and everything. I prayed. A week before I was to give my decision (that actually was going to be a “Let’s wait a while”) he call to see if I was still going to this major celebration that he had invited me to. So, I told him after that event, I'll give him my decision. He had no clue what I was talking about. I gave him the rest of the week to search his memory and figure out what I was talking about. The night before the event he called and finally asked me what did he forget. I went off and I didn't go to the event either. Our friendship took that swat and eventually repaired itself (weeks of silence). I decided to totally forgive him. So, if it was a knee-jerk reaction initially or total memory loss (He had a bad memory too), I won't ask and he better not tell me.

So “Queen No Backsies”, I will stay. Lessons learned. After Mr. Bad Memory, I don’t even entertain possibilities when any Ex. Friendship or absence only. New Guys to date only.

Oh, the song I posted, yeah I'm being funny. Enjoy!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Favorite Singer of All Time Salute (African-American Music Month)

When I was a little girl, I wanted to play the organ. I love the sound of the organ. In my mind, Twinkie Clark & Billy Preston cannot be beaten. Then I saw Twinkie Clark and her sisters (The Clark Sisters) on my TV screen on Bobby Jones Gospel on Sunday night.  I had heard their songs all my life on the radio but this was the first time I saw them. As a  little chubby light-skinned black church girl, I saw myself all in The Clark Sisters especially Twinkie. She was playing the organ almost effortlessly. So, I “researched” playing the organ. I found that one had to learn how to play the piano first. Well with my 4-year-old mind, I gave up then learning how to play the organ. I didn't see the correlation then. I was 4. I decided when we went over to my great aunt's house and was allowed to play church, I’ll play the organ there. It was for the best. I have rhythm issues sometimes. They only instrument I play is the Recorder. Awesome" is my favorite song by her. The song I provided in this blog is called “My Soul Loves Jesus”. This song highlights her skills on the piano. This song features her sisters and R&B & Gospel singer, Shirley Murdock. I do have a favorite line though. “I can't sleep, ‘less I dream of him”. How many times have you were experiencing a sleepless night and you decided to prayed and worshiped the Lord to sleep? Well, if you haven’t let me tell you it is a great feeling. I understand that lyric wholeheartedly. It gets a Diva stamp of approval.

I still have mine. I can still play a mean “Twinkle, Twinkle”. What I didn’t give up on was being a fan of Twinkie Clark. You can’t tell me anything bad about her. She writes such sweet & simple music about God. "

So let’s go to Wikipedia to learn about my favorite singer. Elbernita "Twinkie" Clark is a two-time Grammy award-winning American gospel singer, composer, musician, and evangelist. She is a member of The Clark Sisters, an influential gospel vocal ensemble active since the late 1960s. She has been dubbed "Queen of the Hammond Ivory Super CX-1 & Hammond B-3 organs" and "The Mother Of Contemporary Gospel." According to sister Jacky Clark-Chisholm, their mother, Dr. Mattie Moss Clark, began training Twinkie on the piano as an infant and by the age of four, she could play full songs. Around the age of nine, Twinkie began showing interest in the organ and began training. At 12, she made her professional debut as an organist on the Southwest Michigan State Choir's album A Closer Walk with Thee. Twinkie would serve as Dr. Clark's personal organist until Dr. Clark's death in 1994. She has been the force that shaped the sound that has become the Clark Sisters' hallmark (more affectionately known as the 'Clark Sound') since their mother Mattie Moss Clark turned over control of the group to her in the early 1970s. As the 1970s turned into the 1980s, Twinkie gained increasing notoriety through the popularity of The Clark Sisters albums He gave me Nothing to Lose (1979), Is My Living in Vain(1980), You Brought the Sunshine(1981) and Sincerely(1982). Those albums featured the Twinkie penned classics; "Nothing To Lose", "Is My Living In Vain", "Pure Gold", "Expect A Miracle", "Name It Claim It", "Endow Me", "Walking In The Spirit" and the Clark Sisters crossover smash "You Brought The Sunshine." In the summer of 1981, "Is My Living In Vain" stayed atop the Billboard Gospel Songs chart for 13 weeks while the accompanying album would hit #1 and remain there for over a year. Twinkie wrote and produced three more albums for the Clark Sisters: 1986s Heart and Soul, 1988 Conqueror and 1989 Bringing it Back Home-Live. From those albums "Jesus Is a Love Song", "Pray for the USA", "Balm In Gilead", Jesus Forevermore", "My Redeemer Liveth" and "For The Love Of The People" were played on air. Twinkie amassed other hits in the 1980s ("I Tried Him and I Know Him", "The Anointing Breaks the Yoke", "Lord, Let Me Hear From Heaven") from her continued songwriting on her mother's convention records.

Twinkie left the Clark Sisters in 1989 to focus on ministry and family. She continued her solo career recorded the independent solo album Comin' Home in 1992. Twinkie was featured on the COGIC International Choir's Leaning on Jesus album on the hit duet with Richard "Mr. Clean" White's "Accept What God Allows" and in 1996, she produced the album Twinkie Clark Terrell presents the FAMU Gospel Choir which was a staple on the Gospel charts well into 1997. Twinkie and the Clark Sisters were inducted into the International Gospel Music Hall of Fame in 1999. The Clark Sisters received high honors at the 2007 Stellar Awards when they were presented with the award for Most Notable Achievement. Twinkie reunited with The Clark Sisters on July 8, 2006, to record a new live album, The Clark Sisters did a live recording in Houston, Texas entitled Live... One Last Time. The recording was released as a CD on April 10, 2007, on EMI Gospel, followed by a CD/DVD Special Edition release on June 19, 2007. In support of the reunion album, The Clark Sisters embarked on a 25-city Concert Tour. On January 16, 2009, Twinkie Clark was honored at the 10th Annual Trailblazers of Gospel Music Awards Luncheon Friday, January 16 in Nashville, TN.

Twinkie has written and/or arranged over 200 songs that have been recorded by the likes of Donald Lawrence & The Tri-City Singers, James Cleveland, Dave Hollister, Kelly Price, Rev. Donald Vails, and others. Richard Smallwood, Jennifer Holiday, Kim Burrell, Shirley Murdock, Donald Lawrence, R&B singer Coko, Missy Elliot, and Fred Hammond count Twinkie was influences/inspirations.  Clark's influences include jazz, reggae, classical, funk and blues. This is evidenced by listening to her first two solo albums Praise Belongs to God and Ye Shall Receive Power recorded for Sound of Gospel Records while still with The Clark Sisters. Twinkie Clark is a Stevie Wonder fan and hopes to one day do a duet with him. You Brought the Sunshine is actually pattern after Wonder's hit "Master Blaster".

What an accomplished lady!!! So I Salute pianist, organist, writer & singer, Elbernita “Twinkie” Clark, on today. Maybe this recorder player and you can jam out to “Twinkle, Twinkle” one day. LMBO.

Okay, who is/are your favorite singers of all time? Leave them below in the comments. I'm off to listen to some Clark Sisters.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Siblings

So, today my sister participated in TBT (Throw Back Thursday) and posted a couple of family pictures. That was funny. Gosh, I wore a stupid hairstyle in the 8th grade. Oh, I’m not dumb enough to show you guys. Here’s a cuter one.

Can you pick which one is me? Yes, that little one in the yellow, dotted Swiss dress is me.  The other two kids are my sister, A, and my brother, G. My mother tells people that she raised 3 only children. G is the oldest at 10 years my senior and A is 7 years my senior. So, she is actually right. But we have a close bond.

G has Cerebral Palsy and is severely mentally challenged.  Doctors said he would die at ages 5, 10, and 15. God’s miracle made them give up predicting.  G is actually the reason I went into the medical field as a child. I was going to find a cure for him at age 7. G is a riot. Though he has the mental understanding of a young toddler, He sings (his way), laughs and talks, feeds himself, even fusses & fights with people. I bet the Devil even says WoW when he sees my brother, the miracle. G is my Secret Keeper. He’s my sounding board. He is also my man metal detector. LoL, Like little ones, G detects basic B.S. If G does not make his way to meet you or all of the sudden stops talking to you, you won’t be seeing me much more. Trust me G’s actions are never wrong.

My role model & rock is A. Because she has a much bigger personality than me, many non-Blood related people referred to me as just only A’s sister. That causes me to do many things that look different on the surface than her on purpose. But strangely my methods looked a lot similar. A has supported me in everything, be it wise or dumb. She has come to my aid whenever I needed her. Don’t let me act like I don’t need help and she finds out. I told you, she’s my rock. Now if you guys think I am sarcastic and crazy, A will keep you on your toes then. She has a Great heart and tries to see the fun side in everything.

Yeah, we fuss, cuss and fight at times. It’s a wonder our childhood room is still standing. But I love these people. With all my heart. Nothing but Death can keep me from them. And even that might have to knock me out to get to them too.  Ok let me stop before I start the tears to flow

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Choir Music (African-American Music Month

If you asked me what my Favorite style of Gospel music is, it would be Choir Music. If you could be a fly on the wall of my life, there will be many times you will see me playing director and/or lead singer while listening to Choir Music. Matter fact if there is a movie based on my life that needs to be a scene.

Okay I may have made the “style term" up but some of you that know what I am talking about. I Love a true Choir Song. Choirs sing lots of stuff but a true Choir Song only sounds good with a choir.

When I a child, I sang in the Junior Choir at my foundation church. I actually can't sing. Well I sing okay. So, I never lead a song. We used to tear the church up with a song by Deleon Richards called “Move on up the Mountain (http://youtu.be/jJQMjrcw0TE). I know this is solo track but in my heart this is choir music. I loved singing this song. When I got to be 9 years old I was finally was old to sing in the Dallas Baptist Ministerial Alliance Youth for Christ for the City Wide Revival. In the 80’s and 90’s that was the thing for us little church kids to do. For six weeks at the beginning of the year that was our social scene. I loved Youth for Christ. Even when I joined the Youth Ushers at Foundation church at age 11, I still sang in Youth for Christ. I sang until I was 15. Singing song like “Send Your Anointing” by TM Mass Youth Choir gave me great joy.

If you asked me the best choir music were written by three men. The late Milton Brunson

the late Walter Hawkins

and Hezekiah Walker wrote many of my favorite Choir songs.

Well indulge me a little bit and act like we are at a good ol’ church musical and click & listen to some of my favorite Choir songs (a few new ones but mostly old one) I have provided. I’ll admit, I had a great time finding this tunes too.

Processional Song
He's Worthy
http://youtu.be/guV94dARrgc

The Anthemn
Keep You Lamps - These kids remind me of my childhood
http://youtu.be/nC7RHZuP_Yw

Yes Lord - As Football Nerd said once "You have to be a heathen not to know this song" LMBO (You had to be there)
https://youtu.be/mqrH6C-3G1M

There is No Failure
http://youtu.be/Wz7BnJtDZiM

I'm Still Holding On
http://youtu.be/kN6Xt0o4cLQ

Fully Commited
http://youtu.be/qCV6kZY4Pv4

Call Him Up
http://youtu.be/KQdZIqTsOm0

There is No Greater Love
http://youtu.be/QVbThm_CzTE

When The Battle is Over
http://youtu.be/kL7xRI3_p58

God Will Take Care of You
http://youtu.be/HP2n9nDn7Oc

Jerusalem - My Foundation Church is one of the choirs featured on this song. The soloist was member and a family friend. RIP Thomas Wade
http://youtu.be/dPHT8KKU-Uo

The Vision
http://youtu.be/opawDQcMVzQ

Same God
https://youtu.be/80Dpek7qK08

Everybody Clap Your Hands
http://youtu.be/MDOhwnzbeJQ

Every Praise
http://youtu.be/UuuZMg6NVeA

Oh in the comments let me know what some of your favorites are. Share with me. LoL

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms