Dating and the Grieving Process

I love how my posts open cans of worms that I never intended to look at. A reader emailed me a few weeks ago asking since I was still posting entries on the “Not Interested in Dating” Series, Did that mean I was still on the dating market. If I was still on the market, that was very brave & bold of me to do so.  I told the reader that I would address that here, just in case somebody else was wondering that too.

I took myself off of the Dating Scene. I don't know when I will return right now. I said through the summer but actually, I have some emotional work to do. It’s a lot of variables including the dreaded “What If” and “Possible Absentee Explanation” variables, I have to look at. I'm still writing his letter. Dating will go on a “to do” list. And No (A Definite No) I will not announce when I come back. You'll see me when you see me.

Oh just in case you are wondering. I’m getting better. Having “Happy Tears” days. I just had one Sunday during church. “The devil’s Already Defeated” Slowly stopped me from talking about the hurt so much. It annoys me actually to discuss the hurt all the time. I’m hoping this should be my last post dealing with it for a while. I know I have one more Emotional hurdle to climb but that won’t come up for a while. So until then…

I learned that dating and grieving don’t mix for me around this time 10 years ago. My grandfather had just passed away in February. I had just met and had started “talking” to a guy, (that is now considered my worse boyfriend to date and we will call Barracuda for this post) a month prior. Common sense & Hindsight now say I should have cooled things with him in February. Nope, I let Barracuda become a comfort in my grief.

Let me give you the lesson now. Grief does not need a Bandage. Let it heal on its own.

I looked up and Barracuda (I have to give credit to my cousin, Clois for that name. LoL) was annoying me badly. The cloud of heavy grief had lifted and clearly, he was not making sense. Our dates were not of OutSpoken_Diva style. Was I really at basketball practice for a date? Did he just call me to chit-chat at 3 am on a weeknight?  Oh, he would say the most obnoxious statements in front of my family & friends. One of my favorite cousins while “sizing him up” at a party asked him why he liked me. He said, “Oh 'cause he's cute in the face and chunky in the waist”. He didn't laugh or act like that was inappropriate at all. I overheard that and cringed. Had he been acting like this the whole time? Yep, big time. And those are the ones I can tell you about here. Many friends at the time, including my BFF, thought I was just finding faults to break up. Eventually, they understood my concerns. First, I thought about entering the “Barely Not Cheating” mode. The only person that knew I was touching that mode was my friend, Pink Red. That took up too much time, so I scratched that. So, I decided to address my issues with him so maybe some resolution could be found. That didn't work. So by November, I went into “Dating, Just to have somebody around” mode. And I stayed there until I had to dump him because his obnoxious actions were ploys to hide the truth. That Truth got him to put on the “Bad Ex” list. The whole truth came out years later after I dumped him got him made the Leader of the “Bad Ex” list. No, I will not tell you “the whole story”. Only my mother, sister, and “Chosen Family” members know that one. And don’t guess because your mind doesn't think that way.  Let’s just say I relate to a few fictional characters in current literature.

Now with  Hindsight being 20/20, this could've been avoided. But I must have needed to learn this lesson with experience.

All I had to do was end things shortly after the funeral in February of 2004. And that is a decision I stand by. If the relationship I am in (if I’m in one) is Not “Serious” when someone close to me passes away, I’m ending it. Grief masks a person’s truth in dating. The mask hinders learning about someone.  My true self was probably masked also. Strangely enough, I was very patient & calm with him during that period. I was scaring myself so I know when I finally snapped I startled him, too. I don’t live life behind a mask. Dating is a part of life so I have to be fully visible while doing it.

One day I'm going to learn to say Yes & No answers to Yes or No questions.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Not Interesting in Dating: Denominations of Christianity (A Grey Area)

I’m a Christian. I will not date a non-Christian at all. At this point in life, I will Never be in a relationship where God will debate. We can know each other & be friendly but we will not date. When I was younger I dated guys that were not Christian and there was one that always wanted to debate. I argued back but that was annoying. Unequally yoked dated life is not for "The Diva". 

A Man must basically believe that God is the Father, who provides All that we need, and in him, we Must trust. Jesus is his son and he Died for our sins, Rose again, 40 days later went back to Heaven and preparing a place for us and Will be back again for us one day. And finally, know that we are not without God on this Earth because he sent the Holy Spirit to comfort us until the day his son returns. Also, he must believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God. He has to be wholeheartedly be trying to be the best Christian, he can be and not a stereotype. A man I date must pray every day & throughout the day and have a relationship with God. He must not just own a Bible but read it and sometimes other Christian-based books to help in understanding outside of the church. He must have some kind of church affiliation. I don’t mean he has to go to church every Sunday (but he does need a good reason why he doesn’t). I mean he is a part of a body of believers that he has an Earthly relationship with where he is being fed the word, gives his tithes (Oh, he must be tither) and offering at least and he is encouraged to be the best Man of God he can be. So you ask, what is the problem

Okay, so you know by now because of The Church Switch blog, I grew up in a traditional Southern Missionary Baptist Church, yet I never understood the purpose of Christian denominations. There is Anglican, Christian Science, Baptist, COGIC, Methodist, Catholic, Apostolic, Lutheran, and the list goes on. Why the division? When we get to Heaven, we won't be segregated, why the separation on Earth? Eventually, I decided other than the fact Man has Free-Will, All Christianity denominations are not necessary.  Matter of fact I decided that Christian Denominations and Street Gangs can sometimes act alike. I now go to a Non-Denominational church which is still a Denomination but it’s as close to a “Just Christian” church as I can get.

Well in my dating life, if I only date guys who go to “Non-Denominational” churches, I have limited myself much more than I already have. But I have to be careful on dating Christian men because I have run across some characters. 1. Many don’t understand the difference between Christianity as a Religion and the particular Christian denomination they are affiliated with. You will be surprised by how many adult men answer the question “Are you religious?” Or “What religion do you practice?” with “I’m Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, COGIC, etc., instead of “I’m Christian” and wait for me to then ask “What denomination or type of church do you attend?”. Was I the only one paying attention to World History and learning the difference between Religion & Denominations? 2. Some are so steeped into their denomination that they can be very close-minded. I met a man that was COGIC and he truly believe the “You can’t join in, you have to be born in” of the COGIC Church Anthem. He thought that I was not “Saved & Sanctified” enough because my Christian education was different from his. Both my foundation church & church home were types of churches he felt that was not disciplined enough when teaching the word. 3 The type of guy, well actually person, that has never stepped foot inside a particular church or type of church but believes every report, story, lie or rumor about the place. I had heard about an infamous ATM in the foyer of my church home before attending. It took me months to find this ATM. It’s next to the Bookstore near the original sanctuary that is used for a chapel for bible study, overflow, and youth church. It is not right outside the main sanctuary like people make it seem. My leader of the “Bad Ex” list was one of the people that told me that. I attended that for the 1st time almost 4 months before we broke up. I never told him that, too. Yes, hindsight is so 20/20.

Character type number 1 is doable. It’s all about not knowing the terminology. That’s something I might teach him if he is open. But numbers 2 & 3, I am not interested in dating. It’s too negative. I like open-minded Christian men. I know we all have our reservations about each denomination but to believe them without any kind of experience is wrong. It’s just dating. The dating process was designed to lead me to my future mate, in my opinion. I don’t walk a path without any association with the cobblestones aligning way. None of us do. Never know my mate might not be a Non-Denominational Christian but I do know he will be a member of a Christian church with a welcoming open-mindedness like his and mine. If not then he’s not My Mate.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

10 Years Ago…

Fruit Plate with Pineapple Yogurt

I became a business owner on the 2^nd. I own a small Medical Nutrition company. I provide eating plans and nutritional education to people with diseases such as Cancer, Cardiac Diseases, Diabetes & HIV/AIDS. I do some work in Weight Loss (family, friends, or in conjunction with other diseases) but not as much as I used to. 1) Being plus size (still losing weight) it gets a tad weird to explain. 2) Most importantly, people are too fickle and want quick & easy. That aspect make my money not stable. Oh yes the pictures are sample of the meals I have made.

Low-Sodium Beef Stew

I wanted to be depressed about it because this was not "the dream". When I graduated almost a year before I had plans to work for WIC, Head Start or a local hospital. Then within the year go back to school and get my Masters in Dietetics and become a Registered Dietitian. By now I should be working on my PH. D and working towards being a college professor of Nutrition at an area college.

Pecan Crusted Catfish (Hattie's Inspired)

Then after talking about it with my BFF (Thank You for listening) I had to realize it was not the Dream but daggum is not a Nightmare.

I started my business because of four reasons

1. The cloud of grief from my grandfather’s death had lifted and I could clearly saw working away from home could cause a problem. My mother was still working and my grandmother was starting not to be able to handle my brother by herself.
2. I was Broke. I mean no money. I was going on interviews but no one was calling back.
3. I was Bored. I was watching so many trivial TV shows. Are the Court Shows still on? What about Jerry Springer? My sleeping habits were gross. I would lock up after my mother left at 7:30 am. My grandmother & brother didn't get up before 10, 11 am then. So I would sleep when they slept so I wouldn't disturb them.
4. I was going Stupid. I was having problems with simple words like emotions & schedule. I felt like everything I had learn was gone. I was also dating the worst boyfriend I had ever had. By the end of June he just started getting on my nerves and I couldn't understand why I was dating this dummy.

Oh and all my reasons were correlated.

Chicken Minestrone Soup

The only thing constant was people asking me to do a “Diet Plan” for them. Most of them wanted to just lose weight. I didn't want to because I thought counting calories was boring. Then a close loved one got ill and needed my help in understanding what the Doctors were talking about nutritionally. So in helping her I discovered I really like the work. I decided to make a living basically “Helping People Understand Nutrition”.

Spinach-Cranberry Salad with Orange Duck Dressing

And that is the reward. Knowing that I have help many in the choice of foods, preparation of foods, and their breakdown to be integrated by the body. When an 11 year old comes in weighing 185 lbs. with Type II Diabetes, counting calories is not boring. It’s lifesaving.

Spinach & Mushroom Hash Brown Stack (IHOP Inspired)

When someone is too tired from chemo to understand that he needs to eat an apple pie and drink a milkshake with the burger & fries to keep his weight stable, late night researching information is not near as bad. When life keeps happening (relatives getting sick, household responsibilities changing, appointments get slow (sometimes none at all that week), and even the world moving at the pace it is), I have flexibility to handle it and only have to answer to my only boss, God about how things are going to pan out.  

So how can I be upset at actually living my “Big Picture” dream? I've always wanted to help people. That is what I am doing.

Crab Salad in a Herbal Yogurt Dressing

Life keeps happening but God still has a plan in mind. Thanks D. S. You've given me a job, released me for total poverty, educated me, and put me on a great path that I never imagined. A path that will lead to the Lord's Ultimate goal for me. God gave you to me and I love you with all my heart.

Alright back to work. Monthly budget needs to be tweaked a bit. I think I need to buy printer ink. :-)

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Oh I'm Eclectic Now But... (African-American Music Month)

As Kerry Washington’s character in the “I Think I Love My Wife’ might have said, I used to have N-word Ears when I was younger.

And though I may be eclectic now, I will Always Love Black music. I don’t ever remember not Loving Black music. I grew up in a home & a community where music was played all the time. Most times (except Saturday afternoons when Lawrence Welk reruns and A Gaither (The daddies to the Oak Ridge Boys) Gospel Hour came on) it was Black music. We got dressed to it. We cleaned to it. We got our hair done to it. It was played at all the picnics, luncheons & barbecues. In my home we even slept to it. There was a blues juke joint on the corner of my street. My Foundation church is a 6 minute walk from my home. Across the street from it is a COGIC church. I was in the 6^th grade with the little girl who was their drum player. You could hear her play all outside of their church. She was good. (I’m going to ask her on FB does she still play sometimes) I grew up surrounded by black music.  My first memories of loving a song was a black song.

When I was preschool age, you couldn't tell me I was not Evelyn Champagne King. I knew all the words to Love Come Down. I could dance like her on the video. Yes, I had the two two-step sway down. Matter of fact I still do that move. At school while the radio was playing, I would sing along happily to this song.

I said at school because unlike parents now my mother didn't take kindly to children signing “Adult” songs out loud. She would ask in a minute “So what does that song mean” in a minute. My siblings and I would never be on YouTube, World Star, or Ellen singing “Super Bass”. We would be signing “Let It Go” or “HAPPY”. To my mom, Children should sing children songs, gospel included. Back then we had soulful children singers and somgs so we didn't lack in that experience. Oh but I loved that song. King had a pure voice that was telling a story (That I didn't know the meaning of until I was a teenager. Yes, I was Shocked too) about love whole heartedly.

Black music still plays a significant role in my life. Even the newer stuff out. Happy by Pharrell makes me Happy like everyone else. Oh and Drake is turning the rap game around for me. Yes, Jimmy of Degrassi: The Next Generation has my ear. I get dressed to Fancy and Worst Behavior just like these young girls, too. The guy has flow. Then there is Jhene’ Aiko with a song called The Worst. As the kids say, that song gets me all in my feelings. The hook says:

I don't need you

I don't need you

I don't need you

I don't need you

I still want you

I don't mean to

I don't mean to

I don't mean to

I don't mean to

But I love you

Oh I like it. This Picture Quote describes my feelings for the song perfectly.

Oh I love to hear new music by the older artists. The new Michael Jackson (without Justin Timberlake version) Love Never Felt So Good http://youtu.be/GJDdBbgJafU is a banger. Some company has it in a commercial and I stop and bop around every time I hear it. LoL Then there is Prince with Breakdown http://youtu.be/iE6g-jnEhew & Breakfast Can Wait http://youtu.be/GHbyNrGXpAA. I don’t know a Prince song I dislike. You know “Purple Rain” is 30 years old. Once I was old enough to understand the lyrics to Purple Rain & Darling Nikki 

 I declared him The Musical Genius.   

Love Come Down can come on now and instantly I turn into that little girl in day care. Swaying thinking I had a flower in my hair and a flowing dress. That’s the kind of feelings Black music gives me.

My N-word Ears still left me a memory clone or two of themselves as I ventured into other music. I’ll never abandon them as the music has never abandoned me. Bobby Womack passed this weekend. RIP He sang a song called No Matter How I Get http://youtu.be/4cvQMmsGkLg. It’s my favorite song by him. Well, Black Music that song is for you. No Matter How High I get…

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

It’s Big Brother Time!!!

Thursday, Wednesday & Sunday’s I watch the Best Mind Screw of game. Its name is Big Brother. Season 16 has kicked off. I blame my mother. She was a fan of this game while I was away at school. I came home and got sucked in. It also didn’t help that the season (Season 5) I started watching there was Outspoken_Diva approved Eye Candy in there named Marvin.

Last season (15), there was Eye Candy in the house named Howard.

 Oh and yes the Big Brother gods heard me complaints from seasons of non-Outspoken_Diva approve Eye Candy and granted me with one this year by the name of Devin.
*swoon* That is the physical type I have been attracted since I was five years old. I’m going to date one those one day before I get married. I got close but no cigar. LoL Now, let’s hope he’s a good guy. Marvin was a little chauvinistic at times so we are hoping he has better manners. If they all could be like sweet, sweet Howard, who let the Lord fight is battles in the house for the most part.

Umm I’m actually on the fence about this season of Big Brother (16). Just after the two day premiere, I already find it convoluted for no good purpose other than because CBS can do what they want with their show. This season has some new twists.

Two Heads of Household – Not one, but two HoHs every week. That also means we’ll see double the nominees with four HGs on the chopping block.

HoH doesn’t mean safety – You might win HoH, but you aren’t safe yet. One of those two HoHs will still be at risk by the end of the week.

Battle of the Block – To figure out which noms & HoH remain there’s a new competition called ‘The Battle of the Block. In this competition, the four nominated HGs would face off in pairs and battle for safety. If they won then the HoH who put them on the block would be dethroned and the nominees would gain their own eviction-redemption themselves

Team America – Viewers will vote to influence the game, that the viewers would be voting over the first few weeks to name 3 individual HGs to become part of a secret alliance, Team America. This team of players will then go on to complete secret challenges and tasks. One player has been picked already. Her name is Joey.

Everything but Team America is complicated. Just nominate, safe yourself, and vote. The only thing I like about this Battle of the Block is that is reduces the petty “I don't like so and so put them on block" nominations. I hate those especially when the reasoning is pitiful.

I have some people other than I like. Jocasta, Donny, Christine & Nicole are my favorites so far. They seem nice so far. I wish we had TVGN so I could watch Big Brother After Dark. *sigh* I could really see how they really act without the network edit. Taking that show off Showtime ticks me off. I didn’t like it last year and I don’t like it this year. But I see many on Twitter complain about that the TVGN version is censored and have commercials. Censored or not I miss BBAD.

Yes, I already want three to Go Home Now. One is a HOH named Frankie. Ariana Grande is his sister. Paola and Zach round off my list. All have Grossly stereotyped (Christians, Homosexuals, Conservatives & Midwesterners) someone in the house from the moment they have met. When the first fight break out, I see Zach being involved already. All are annoying and talk constantly. I want them gone.

Well I’m off to read a Big Brother spoiler or two. I can’t wait until the network shows on Sundays & Wednesdays so I follow sites that watch Live Feeds (Keep me from giving other's side eye when they talk about celebrity gossip that i am not interested in). The network show just give me a picture version of what I already know. Thursdays, I have to join the masses and watch the Live show and react accordingly to the eviction. Oh here is a list of the sites I follow.

Big Brother Source
http://bigbrother16.com/

I Hate Big Brother
http://www.ihatebigbrother.com/

Big Brother Network
http://bigbrothernetwork.com/

Here's a list of most frequently used abbreviations for Big Brother because this will be handy on these sites. Luckily one of them had a list.

AC - America's Choice
AP - America's Player
AV - America's Vote
BB - Big Brother
BBT - Big Brother Time
BBAD - Big Brother After Dark
BBLF - Big Brother Live Feed
BOB - Battle of the Block
BY - Backyard
DE - Double Eviction
DOR - Drop Out Request
DR - Diary Room
FF - Fast Forward
FOTH - Front of the House*
HG - Houseguest
HOH - Head of Household
LC - Luxury Competition
LD - Lock Down
MVP - Most Valuable Player
NOM - Nominee
POV - Power of Veto
QC - Quad Cam
TA - Team America

Well here is to another season of Big Brother 16. Good luck to the All the House Guest. Do you watch Big Brother? Who are your favorites? Dislike? Do you like this season’s twist so far?  Let me know in the comments and Expect the Unexpected!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Help Me Understand: The Proud Songs of Adultery (African American Music Month)

Now you guys know I can’t go without fussing at people at some point. African-American Music Month is No Exception. Hey, if you didn't want me to “Soap Box” you, then “Make It Stop”!!! Thanks to one of my Favorite web show commentary shows, “Things I Learned This Week”, I learn "Dumb B-word" maybe subliminally said in Piece of My Love by Guy. You can hear it at 3:17 - 3:23 on this video. I believe it. I Loathe this song. The first verse starts with

You can have all of me. 

But I’m not going to be free

As my grandmother says, “He’s bad news”. I Loathe all songs of its genre I call, “Adultery Music”. If you follow me on Twitter you know I down right Detest “Adultery Music”. It’s very easy explain with one question. “What is so Melodic about having an affair”?

Oh I don’t blame Guy for putting out a song of such stature because there many songs, many made in the 70’s - 80’s, which promote such behavior. As young child, I heard the song You, Me and He by Mtume. The chorus said:

You, Me and He

What we gonna do, baby

Clearly there are too many people in this relationship. Then the female lead sing,

There's somethin' I wanna say

Try and understand

There's another in my life

He's my lover and I'm your wife

Do what? Did she tell her Husband that she is sleeping someone other than him and to be cool about it? Later in the song you find out it is about a husband and wife discussing their issues so they can eventually work them, okay. But the song walks a slippery slope in my mind. Then I started paying attention to the Saturday Morning Housework/At the Salon Old School mix and my eyebrows would raise up more. Billy Paul’s Me and Mrs. Jones and Luther Ingram’s (If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right would be playing, I would listen and my mouth would drop. They said “Learn to Listen and Listen to Learn” so that what I was doing. I was learning the people lived so foul lives and liked bragging on it. What is the craziness is people adore these songs. (If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right was even used a clever quip in a few sermons I have heard over the years. Why be upset with Pastor Jamal Bryant for using Loyal by Chris Brown in a sermon? Clearly he was in good company when using foul lyrics to make a good point. Oh wait I’m getting sidetracked.  I’m talking about “Adulterous Music” not “People who like to jump on Christian preachers for Everything they do Not So Right”. No Plans for a blog on that but be warned.  I am still wondering how many crazy “Mr. Jones” out there thought Billy Paul was talking about loving on their wives in 1972. How many if any, "Mr. Jones" committed acts of domestic violence because of this crazy song? Frightening to think about. Adultery can be dangerous.

Those are not even the songs of Adultery that Grate my nerves the most. Two songs make me give the world side eye. Poor Whitney Houston! She couldn't rest in peace the day after we found out she left this world without me rolling my eyes at her. Why did I roll my eyes at her? The song Saving All My Love was being played. Oh I know Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr first recorded it but the song is one of Houston hits, so she gets the blame. The songs says she is waiting for a man who is already someone else’s husband & father. What? The lyrics of the first verse clearly say,

A few stolen moments is all that we share

You've got your family, and they need you there

Though I've tried to resist, being last on your list

But no other man's gonna do

So I'm saving all my love for you

Sound like the woes of the side piece, to me. We detest side pieces. That’s why folks hate “Scandal” and “Being Mary Jane”. Oh but it okay for folks to belt out this song. This is disturbing. I remember when Steve Urkel sung it to Laura Winslow on the American sitcom "Family Matters". I felt like I was the only person who thought this song was wrong. Still there is another Adulterous song, you guys love the Belt Out even more. As We Lay has to be the most Beloved Adulterous song known to man. Well, at least in the realm of Black Music. I only know one person who is disgusted by this song like I am. My mother will change the TV or radio when this song comes on. When Kelly Price remade this song originally sang by Shirley Murdock and she was livid. “Why would that girl waste her voice on such a gross song”, my mother said. The song is gross and folks love to sing it. No, people love to sing the heck out of this song. So many talent shows with such graceful and melodious voices have been marred in my eyes with this song. I would hear someone perform this song on the Amateur Night section of Showtime at the Apollo and I wanted to act like my mother and change the channel. Fun Fact: The lyrics “We should have counted up the cost but instead we got lost” was added by Shirley Murdock during recording the song. She didn't think the song was remorseful at all.

I just don’t understand the craze of songs that are about Marital Affairs. I also don’t understand the lesser amount of songs telling married folks off in music. Husband by Shirley Murdock on a later album (http://youtu.be/SYyVMFgsW68) is a Clear example of what you say to some of these low down People that want to creep. You be straight with these married people wanting to be in a relationship with you. Oh because noticeably thanks to Aaron Hall they are still quietly calling you a Dumb B-word when you date them despite their marital status. Ooh I'm going to make a song "Out my Face, You're Married". Going to be a Chart Banger. LoL

Songs of Adultery or Cheating are dying down. The only “current(ish)” song by black singers I could think of is Unfaithful by Rihanna. Y’all are free to tell me more of them in the comments. The song topic can die and not resurrect. There are enough out there and no more room is needed for any more.
Oh and Pop & Country music, this not you month but, the message of the post is for you also. Stop Proudly signing about Cheating and having an Affair like it is something cute. And Don’t shake the Scandal finger at me, go take that some finger and click on one of my blog posts about Scandal.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

B-Sides & Indies (African-American Music Month)

Is there a person that is friends with Everyone but you Only fool with them when they are with your friends? You don’t dislike them but they irritate you enough for you not to like them. What irritates you about them? They are always talking about the same stuff. They are just a repeat of a repeat of a repeat. That is my rapport with the Radio. I don’t listen to the radio. I don’t mean to be the music weirdo but the radio plays the Same Music all the time. I hate that about the radio. Everybody does. I am just true about my feelings and boycott listening to it. I know I don’t know “the new” most time. If you every see me at a trendy night spot and something new & popular, I’m sitting there clueless while Everybody else is bobbing along.

Like my movie choices I like the obscure track of the popular artist (I call those the B-sides. (From when we had tape single and lesser known hot song on the other side of the song that you actually bought the tape for) I usually like the B-side song also) and of course music from Indie (I don’t understand why they are not discovered. (Blame Pop Culture) Artists. I think I’ve always like been a music fan like that. I remember in high school I had Another Bad Creations’ Second album and nobody else did or even asked to borrow it. Who know Jamie Foxx First song and video was Infatuation in the 1990's (http://youtu.be/ECXLvAmAP48). I loved this Jamie Foxx Way better than the one blaming his actions on alcohol. His voice was so pure. That is what I love about the non-popular music by popular artists and indie artists. It's pure and not tainted by pop culture. It is also not played to death by radio DJ’s. I’m just a sucker for good unadulterated music.

I love channels like VH1 Soul and Centric for having shows, like Sub Soul, VH1 Soul Player, Centric Hits & Soul Sessions that introduce/ give us a listen to artist and songs that main stream radio is Not playing. Bounce TV also has a show called Bounce Beats that shows some of the “not as popular” artist’s videos among those of the popular.

Here are some ditties for you guys to jam out to. The video is Ms. Sunshine Anderson. We rocked out to her hit “Heard All Before” (http://youtu.be/NGMInHRR2Fo) “I had shut yoouu doowwn”. LMBO Well Lunch or Dinner is my “Mentally Flirting” Theme Song. Because in my mind, my “flirt game” is flawless. Yeah, I said in my mind. More like “Speechless” (http://youtu.be/qOpXYcNDyqU) by Kelly Price (Yeah I hate to still like this song after her “antics” on R & B Divas LA but good music is good music) is my “flirt/lack of game”. Yeah if smile, blush, and look away when he sees me is game, then I’m on it. The chorus of the song is my perfect line in my mind.

Since I'm who you want

And need in your life

Then we should do lunch

Or dinner sometime

I love this song. It’s in my “Getting Dressed Secular” playlist. One day I’m going to use that line. LoL Here is there of the list of some of my favorite “non-popular” songs.

Robert Glasper Experiment Gonna Be Alright (F.T.B.) [feat. Ledisi] (Yeah that Ledisi!!! Oh the beginning beat!!! It's Two Stepping Time!!!)
http://youtu.be/nlWXsfjHeA8

Charlie Wilson Without You (I feel in love this gem my first year at Lamar University. He has song called "No Words" that I like, also.)
http://youtu.be/2PPpTNjYUgw

337 Caramel Cutie Keith Frank (I know Zydeco fans who don't know this song)
http://youtu.be/4Ic3O0AC--g

Avery*Sunshine All In My Head (Love this Self-Checking song)
http://youtu.be/pvB1FYVDdng

Lalah Hathaway Naked Truth (I Love this song by Lalah Hathaway!!!! Who is probably my Favorite Secular Artist)
http://youtu.be/wyJccJv1ABw

BVSMP I Need You (A DJ played this song in Beamers once a few years ago and I think only the DJ and I Knew this Oldie but Goodie Indie)
http://youtu.be/4WtAFUdbr4c

ANQUETTE I Will Always Be There For You (One more Oldie but Goodie Indie. I think this might have inspire a few notes to an old crush or two)
http://youtu.be/K7ojf7z_Zds

Esperanza Spalding  Fall In (She upset Beliebers by getting the Grammy in 2011. She's performed at the White House. Have you heard this lady on the radio?)
http://youtu.be/lWmypu1N8_4

Raheem Devaughn B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend)  (I still don't understand why this song is Not popular. Every Male Revue should be playing this song. Can you imagine the cash flow from just this song.)
http://youtu.be/0C9-d9hYbvE

Leela James  Fall For You (She will be on R&B Divas LA and my BFF Love doesn't know who she is. *sigh* There is a problem Here is her newest song)
http://youtu.be/CjOIQnCbDU0

Heather Headley Wait a Minute (While we all were to jamming "He Is" & "Gotta Go", I was jamming this too)
http://youtu.be/HaNqe1N-Syg

Jermaine Paul Butterfly Kisses (How do you win a National contest, The Voice, yet get no radio play? *sigh* Had it not been for Bounce Beats on Bounce TV, I would've missed the sweet little song)
http://youtu.be/1zmj_AdF0po

I could on and on. You know I can. So, you know I’m going to ask. What are your favorite “indie”, “B-side” or “non-popular”? Leave them in the comments below. I’m always “in tuned” for hearing good pure music.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms