Best in Dress & Skirts (What I Wear)

I think one day I woke up and decided I look best in dresses and skirts. That day must have been in the 2nd grade. That school year I only wore pants to school one day for Field Day. My mother made me put them on.

Been standing at my most flattering
angle for years

They were pink casual slacks with a pink polka dotted blouse and pink tennis shoes. Only I had to be forced to wear pants. Guess I've been going against the grain for decades. 

I actually do look better in them. I mean I feel good in most of what I wear. I just like my body in dresses and skirts more. 70% of my wardrobe are shirts & dresses. If someone stole all my dresses and skirts, I wouldn't know how to dress.

Yep, Getting a Tattoo in a skirt

They aren't always the most modest items to wear but they are my go to clothing item. But they are comfortable and cute. And they match all my shoes from heels, flats and sneakers.

Dresses and skirts are also my weight loss indicators. If I put on one and I see a hint of stomach or it becomes shortened because of hip spread, I Must put on a girdle (for the young people & under a rock residers, shapewear).

Needed a girdle, IMO

 If denim skirt won't stay up that means, I've lost weight. Right now I have to buy a few new skirts because of the latter. I have knee skirts that now look tea length on me. That’s not cute.

Lost enough weight for this to
 finally fit right this summer
(No Girdle)

Rather buy new ones than gain weight to make them fit properly.

My only issue with dresses is proper length. I being short in legs and torso, most clothes never looks like it does on the models.

My dress was so short next
to the other
bridesmaid's dresses

Micro mins are minis. Minis are knee length. Knew length is Tea length. Tea length is Maxi and Maxis are dirty because I stepped on them or they are dragging the ground.  During the early 90s, I would pull my skirts under my bust line so they would fit like everyone else’s skirts. Thanks to spandex/polyester knit skirts of the mid 90’s, I could soon stop doing that because no matter what height you were those clingy things would crawl to the “perfect” short length. (My grandmother hated me in those. She “accidentally” shrunk one and sent my grandfather & me shopping to replace it. I replaced it with two more similar skirts. LoL) Now that maxis skirts can be wore as dresses that is how I wear mine as. I fall enough as it is, I don’t need any extra help.

This pics gets lots of compliments

So yeah, I am Best Dressed in a Dress or a Skirt. It’s not just my judgment, the world says so too. I've never been asked out or flirted with in anything but a dress or skirt.

Had a Gloria meets Marvin in Waiting Exhale moment
in the outfit LoL

Most clothing compliment I get are in dresses or suits. Maybe it’s my attitude while wearing them. I'll get back to you on that.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

The Alura & Monkey Toes Story

Yeah!!! I photo bombed the kids. I'm that kind of aunt!!! LoL

Alura & Monkey Toes are my niece and nephew. Alura is a grown person. Monkey Toes is school age. They are the children I will not be having and I Love them to pieces. On the internet I only refer to them by these names. Just like folks don’t need to know my name, they don’t need to know their names. Facebook included, I may have went to school with a now pedophile so, safety first. Oh and they both know there is only one someone that calls them these names. So don’t try it.

Like a few my cousins, cousin’s wife and myself, my grandfather’s sister (RIP) mispronounced our names badly. Well, my niece was no exception. She hates the name. I only used to call her that when she was irritatingly disobedient and I needed to get her attention. She would stop in her tracks because she knew I meant business. Now when Ms. Grown is getting on my nerves, I call her that in retaliation. It calms her down enough to understand that she’s bothering me. I get the same response every time, “Who is Alura”. 

The Monkey Toes story is very dumb but hilarious. Monkey Toes was a toddler and trying to show my mom his house shoes. They were little brown booties type shoes. He was clearly saying "My Toes" and she heard "Monkey Toes" and got mad. She said, "Monkey Toes, Who called you Monkey Toes? You don't have Monkey Toes.". I looked at her and said "You are. Because he is saying, My Toes. He's showing you his shoes". He had already showed me his shoes so I knew what the kid was saying. I laughed at my mother for an hour and that is how I started calling my nephew "Monkey Toes". He is now at the age where he is starting to ask about his nick name. LoL I can't wait to tell him the story.

Yeah, my niece & nephew have a silly aunt. But she loves them and that is what matters. Love you, Alura & Monkey Toes!!!

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Main Shopping Plus Size Issue (What I Wear)

I love Chastity Garner. She is one of my favorite fashion bloggers.

I love her book, "The Curvy Girl's Guide to Style". It is a Must-Read. Last week, she released an open letter stating she will be boycotting Target stores for their lack of plus-size options in their designer collaboration sections. HERE is the letter. Of course, some think her boycott is petty. Some that are plus size, also. I saw one lady say “You can't get upset because they don’t want to make larger clothes”. *sigh* It’s not about forcing designers to make plus-size clothing. It is about inclusion and respect.

I, a plus-size shopper will not shop in places that act like their plus-size clothing is a secret. I’m not talking about stores that don’t sell plus-size clothing. They don’t bother me because I know where they stand. Everything I wear is not plus size. I wear a 7-1/2 Medium shoe. I can’t get and will buy a shoe anywhere. I’m talking about stores that say they sell plus-size clothing but you can’t just walk into their stores to purchase anything plus size. You have to go online or to their outlet stores only to purchase anything plus size. Old Navy was the first retailer that lost my dollar. They moved their plus-size line out of its stores to their website only. This

dress I bought in 2009 or 2010 is the last anything I bought from Old Navy. Yes, I, An Avid Online shopper will not shop at a store that has physical stores, that will force me to only shop online. The store H&M has Never seen any of my money. Maybe it is my area but the only place that has the plus-size line is the H&M outlet store. So, why does a store with more than online shopping options do that to a section of clothing buyers? They claim that their plus-size consumers were for the most part purchasing clothing online or in the outlet so that is why they only sell those lines in those places. Doing acts like this says to me that these stores want Fat Folk’s Money but Not in Their Stores. I may be wrong but that is how I feel. Well since, my clothing is not welcomed in the stores, those stores are not welcome to my money. Stores like these have even made me research every store that announces that they are starting selling plus-size clothing to see if that is in-store & online purchases or outlet/online only. If a store does not respect me enough for me to be seen in their store purchasing items, they don’t respect me.

I understand Ms. Garner’s plight. It won’t be hard for me to join her boycott, I’m not a major Target fan. It’s never the first place I think of when buying anything. Why should plus-size styles be limited in their stores? Like I said it is about respect. When the male underwear section is bigger than the Plus Size section, that is not respect. But if they won’t respect pleads for acceptable designer wear then make them respect the $$$$ that they will be missing from their stores

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Changing For Like's, Lust's or Love's Approval

I don’t understand how some of us sometimes change ourselves all in the name of, like, lust, or love. If you have Never changed yourself for those reasons, I applaud you. That is not everyone’s testimony.

I was watching a video about a plus size lady asking should she lose weight to be more attractive in the eyes of her partner.  I had a client whose purpose for asking for my services, was to lose weight so her boyfriend would finally give her a ring. I have had a couple of guys who were willing to stop having sex altogether because I was celibate. People change their hair color because their partner prefers redheads over brunettes. Some go into debt trying to be someone else or look like someone else for someone else.

I said we because I have been guilty of this crime to self-esteem. Once, I was dating a guy who liked long hair that was not a weave. So, I grew my hair out over the summer. He gave me so many compliments. Fast forward to the next Easter and I got my hair styled in an up-do and it had weave in it. He made a comment of disapproval and well, we had the “you didn't pay for it” conversation. I then decided not to wear weave around him. The aha moment came a couple of months later when I cut my hair.

He gave his disapproving opinion and it hit me. I was subconsciously styling my hair to get his approval. That stopped that day.

Do we crave to be liked, lusted for, or loved so much that we let our like, lust, & love of other people dictate what we do with our own bodies? I had people tell me I was stupid for not a dating a man that would stop having sex because I was celibate. These were people who hadn’t had a man with blue balls cuss them out because of “what he did” so he could be with them (though him going sex-free was never asked of or told to him to do so (Yes, the thought of being with the Diva drives them to do… LoL)). No one else’s preferences or wants should tell you what you should be. No one should be so enamored & smitten with someone not to be whom they truly are. You lose weight for your best healthy self.

If you want to look like a celebrity then you go right ahead. You be who you want to be and if that attracts someone else then that person is attracted.

Oh, that is so easier said than done. Oh, the trappings of like, lust, love, and loneliness. Yes, I said loneliness. That is many times the root of the issue for those are the lonely type and those that are more romantically independent. We don’t want to be without a or that particular person we are involved with we do things to try to keep them. Changing our looks is an injurious chip at our own self-worth view. If whoever we are in a romantic rapport with desires or wants something that doesn't make you a better person for you then it is not going to ever be good. When it comes to selfless wants and desires for if it doesn't benefit you it can’t benefit the relationship because they are actually selfish.

Always attract yourself first and the rest will follow.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Complicated Relationship with Football

Well, Football season is upon us. Football is that friend that is your friend’s friend but you two are just on tolerable terms for me. I only watched the sport or participated in football-centered activities to be social.  I only join a fantasy league was to be social and to get my best friend to stop bugging me. I guess he saw real talent. The only reason I won a Fantasy Football league in 2012 was that I could read stats and I had RGIII (until they gave him a concussion) and Joe Flacco on my team. Fantasy Football was not what I thought it was. I thought it would be like a pick team that will win week to week. Found out I was owning & coaching a team, which was work. Well, my computer was dying last year and I could not be on the team. I heard the guys including Football Nerd were upset I didn’t come back to defend my crown. Couldn’t play when I didn’t have the proper equipment.

 I tried to explain that but oh well they just had to get over it. This year, I don’t have the heart to join one.

Oh yeah, just as I was calming down about missing my Football Nerd so much, Wham, here comes Football season. It’s like I didn’t make any concessions with feelings when it came to this sport. Last week was a murder on my emotions. Just the word, Football was giving me cry face (cry face: extreme sad face, looks like one is or could cry but that message was not told to the eyes). It started Sunday. Then forgetting I follow my alma mater on Twitter I saw a tweet that Lamar University and Grambling University were playing against each other again like last year, on August 30, on Wednesday.

Football Nerd was a graduate of Grambling. Last year, we got to be rivals on the gridiron. He tried to bet me but I didn’t see his email until after the game. Lamar beat Grambling!!! Of course, I tagged him in a bragging post on FB. Do I get to share that with him in the flesh this year? *sigh* Thursday, his brother tagged him in a post on FB about missing him on the first day of the football season. It was very easy to have empathy for his brother. I had to like it in agreement. I don’t know if I will ever know anyone who loved football like my best friend, Football Nerd. My Diva Bestie asked if we were going to go to the Grambling and Prairie View game in September during the State Fair of Texas. *sigh* I don’t even know, yet. I don’t want to be crying during a football game. That doesn't sound cute at all and I am cute.

And that is the latest of my frustrated complications with football. My main frustration is its timing issues. One Day, All Sports are going to RESPECT the TV schedule and get finished on time or get cut off!!! I say sport right now because all sports are guilty of running over. Right Now, Golf has preempted 60 Minutes and Big Brother for the evening. Football is the worst offender of staying on schedule. This past Thursday, the Pre-season game of the Cowboys and the Charger caused CBS to move its scheduled primetime shows to other stations. I am glad I saw the scrolling message at the bottom of the screen or I would have missed the live double eviction of Big Brother.

Poor Amazing Race moved to Friday’s this fall. My guess is because football was ruining his ratings on Sundays. I know I stopped watching two seasons because of football delays. I think Fox scheduled all their Sunday shows to premiere after Football season. It is so sad. Do sports make that much money for the networks that it has NO RESPECT for their programming? It’s downright rude if you ask me (I know you didn’t but I told you anyway). Until networks put their feet down and start pulling the plug on these long winding games, they will continue to run amuck. I know I am not the only person that feels that way. I see all the groans on Twitter when favorite shows are delayed.

Oh well, are you ready for some football? It’s frustrating but fun to watch. I’m a hometown girl so, “Go Cowboys”!!! In memory of my best friend, Football Nerd, “Go Steelers”, too!

Wonder who will be performing for the halftime show at the Super Bowl? In the words of Richard Pryor, We Shall See!!!

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Let’s Talk About Male Stripper, Male Revue…Movies

Okay I know I have some new readers. My viewing numbers are up and that is great. Amazingly enough, the gossip numbers are the same so maybe the number of non-nosy non- blabber mouth readers are up. LoL But before you read this blog some of you might want to go read THIS, THIS, and THIS. I don’t want anyone shocked. So, you have been told to prepare yourself.

So, with the success of the movie Magic Mike,

there will be a sequel to it and a movie featuring the realm of black male strip clubs called, Chocolate City. A guy wrote about the lack of diversity in Magic Mike in this ARTICLE and the idea for this movie was born. The movie is about a college guy who gets pulled into the world of stripping by a club owner and the veteran dancer who worries the youngsters are taking his limelight. Like the other movie, 

I probably won’t see Chocolate City in the theaters and will wait until it comes to cable stations like HBO, Showtime, EPIX, BET, Centric or Aspire. Why because everybody else will be there to see the men, I being a movie purist will be going for a storyline. And like Magic Mike (Yeah it (storyline & dancing) was boring to me, too), Chocolate City, I bet will have more attention paid to the eye candy than the screenplay. I can look at the actor’s pictures at home for free.

So, does there need to be an all-black cast male revue movie? I know everything is so racial these days. Yet if the truth is told, there is a difference in predominately white & predominately black male strip clubs or revues. I’ve been to both. First, a few times to Labares (a white club) when I was under 21 and to the world of black male revues after I graduated college. I was shocked at the difference. The culture of both clubs are unalike.

There is a cover charge. I’ve been to a “free” show once, be very afraid. Either there are dressing rooms or male restrooms where the dancers get dressed in.  Both have a staging area, a DJ, seating, tables, and bar areas. Latecomers may have to stand (Been there and that is not cute). There is a dancer on stage and dancers are working the crowd also. Both have flyers passed inside and outside of the club. And interesting enough not as many falling down drunk women as pop culture makes you believe. There is a crowd favorite maybe 2 or 3. They usually have a more elaborate set with props & equipment like pools & chairs. There is a new guy there. He’s mostly dancing and doing tricks and usual first or behind one of the favorite. The guy that makes you wonder why is he up there is there too.  

Clubs like Labares or Chippendales are similar to the Magic Mike. The opening group dance, the scheduled sets, and the stereotypical costumes with tear-away pants to boot. The stage area has a very exclusive feel. You throw your dollar and might engage with the dancer for a moment and you move on. Big tippers pay for private dancing or tip every dancer on the stage (yeah those chicks are funny). Private dances are like off to the side or maybe in an exclusive area. Dancers may bring up an audience member during their set but if they don’t, don’t be surprised.

Black shows are very casual, like an enlarged bachelorette party at home. Punctuality is an option (I'll say it, one of my major pet peeves with these shows) with these guys. Never seen an opening group number (have a few theories) at a black male revue. The costumes are not as a pop culture defined.

I’ve seen a few cavemen & masked men but never a cop or firefighter. Costume varies. I saw slaves, candy bar outfits, thugs but nothing stereotypical to male strippers. I’ve seen a lot of chains, whistles, baby oil, ice cream, vibrators, fire tricks, swings, & motorcycles. Crowd participation is encouraged and most of the dancers will bring an audience member to the stage to be part of the act. Some are asked to prior. Many are not. The unsuspecting audience member on stage can be entertaining. Sometimes the host of the show may engage a lady while he’s talking while the next act is getting ready. Private lap dances are private because they are taken off stage. Never had one so I can’t tell you that.

How do I know?

Well, I get bored and I pay attention to stuff that is not on the stage. look, every dancer is not somebody I want to watch.

Oh, and I can’t keep going to the bathroom to avoid boredom. No Male Revue holds my attention that well that my mind and eyes don’t wander. You see this stuff. Also, women talk and some of this stuff is on YouTube.

Oh well, I hope Chocolate City does well. I hope it sticks to the culture of an all-black club and not a reboot of Magic Mike. The stories are different that is what I expect, A Different Distinction. Here to you guys telling about it!!!

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Another Series...What I Wear

I talked about my makeup, skin, & hair. Now people want me to talk about my clothing style. So, I will take the time to talk about my clothes. The series will be called, “What I Wear”. I will break each segment up by Dress & Skirts, Tops, Bottoms (jeans & skirts excluded), Jeans, Intimates, Shoes, and Outerwear & Accessories.

Umm my clothing style is what I call classic and charming.I always have (that me in high school in the burgundy)
By today dressing standards, other than when going grocery shopping & a few churches, I am actually overdressed. I just refuse to go out socially in jeans & flip flops and sneakers all the time. I just don’t understand being so casual all the time. I prefer a more spruced up look. So if I am overdressed, then I am overdressed.

Also when I say I dress classically. I still follow many dressing traditions. Some I've already talk about in previous post and I know they will come up again in the Intimates section. But yes, there are some things I still do that many have stop doing. I still follow the white rule. I only wear white (Not ivory, cream, ecru, pearl, and mother of pearl. White like Easter lily or Fresh Untouched Snow) bottoms, dresses & shoes between the time period of Easter and Labor Day. I don’t wear and actually frown upon sock & sandals. My mother made me wear those as a preschool aged child to VBS and I thought it was stupid. I don’t wear jackets & shorts. Are you cold or are you hot? Pick one a temperature and commit. I wear leggings are worn as hosiery. Also, tunics are tops not dresses.

I do break some “rules”. As a plus size women, I am not afraid of color. Matter of fact, people have to required me to wear all black outfits.

My Bestie Boo, LJ invited me to his birthday party boat one year and waited until after I accepted his invite to tell me the dress code of all black. That’s how adamant I am about wear all-black. (I know the black didn't match. Shush!!!)
If I wear black, I try to find the brightest colors I can to accent it. I refuse to believe I am too big to wear a color or a print.
My favorite colors are pink, blue, yellow and white. I own lots of those colors too, especially white. I actually own more white tops than the law should allow.

 
 
I also will wear a dress and a pair of pants together in the winter time.
Neckties & Necklaces have been worn as belts. I have worn belts are necklaces.

I’m not a clothing whore. I actually hate shopping. (That's my dislike face)

 It's a tedious chore to keep my body covered. For the most part (80%), I don’t dress trendy. Trends make me dislike shopping. Trends cost a lot of money to keep up with. I like classic pieces that never go out of style. But when I have to shop for a classic piece, I have to sift through the trends. That is frustrating. 60% of my clothing shopping is done online. I have trust places that I shop at so, I know buying online from them will work for me. 30% of my shopping offline is for some of my intimate wear, shoes from places or brands I’m not sure of and non-clip earrings accessories. Maybe I’ll talk about where I shop. Keyword is maybe. If I shop for trends, I scour clearance and sale sections. I can wait until all the fashion slaves get through buying stuff at marked up prices at the beginning of the season. Then around the end of the midseason I started watching the price lower to a price I feel is proper to pay. That's when I buy trends. Rather late than never is my rule.

Hope you guys enjoy this journey through my closest. Leave any questions you have in the comments.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms