Mixing New School Technology & Old School Dating Standards

I'll say this first, Experience & Observation are great teachers. There are times I feel like throwing in the towel and never picking it back up on dating. I know some of the rules have changed, but I am not convinced that the respect, honor, & common courtesy rules have. And I refuse to engage with any man that are not following them. And there are time that it seems like I seem to be the only one not willing to engage with the disrespectful. Now, days they call them F-word Boys. Oh but the past couple of weeks FBF subliminally came in  and said "You are Not Alone". It felt good to see in this "Snap Chat Me the Puh" dating culture, I am not the only one offended.

I saw this meme and almost screamed. I refuse to have a Text Only relationship. Words have intentions. I am a talker and a listener. I am very sensitive to voice inflections. You can hear emotions in the voice. You can't read emotions. You can't read all intentions. That's why I am not a big fan on dating & texting. In his book, "Act Like Lady, Think Like A Man", Steve Harvey confirmed something I already knew. Some people hide behind text messaging.

A guy text "Are you busy, tonight". Now if dude is a player, he sent that to you and few others and he is waiting on who is available first. Now if Mr Player had called and you weren't available, you can usually hear it in his voice. He pretty much going to say "Oh ok" or "A'ight then" and get off the phone so they can find someone else to hang with. A man who wanted to hang out with you and only you acts differently. Some may ask what are you doing. Some may even talk you out of what you had planned. Well, at least that is my experience. Texting also misses Emotions. "I love You" doesn't feel the same texted like it does when you hear it. Oooh, especially the 1st one. And what if he/she did mean to text you. Apologizing & Taking that back will be hard as heck. Oh and there's another set of people that hide behind text. Perverts & idiots love to text.

A guy can't flash his penis in public to some chick he thinks is hot without the major chance of going to jail. But for some odd reason text messaging made several feel like sending unsolicited picture of their genitals is cool. Also, some will ask numerous intimate question upon the first greeting. Before texting existed I only heard "When you going to let me F-word" from thugs/thug adjacent & a low key pimps over the phone. Now, I had some of the most intelligent men text that, also. People hide via text. Communicate me via the phone or video chat. I have Google+. We can Hangout. LoL

Speaking of Social Media. Get out of my DMs. DMs are getting out of hand. Oh DMs is Direct Message. On Facebook, I would say, "Get out my Inbox". I don't date via Social Media. Let, me rephrase that. I don't date via Social Media where my name is OUTSPOKEN_DIVA. So, that includes all of them I have an account with but Facebook. My FBF are people I have at least met face to face once. So, if an interested man who is a FBF contacted me via my inbox, maybe allowed. But if you only know me as OUTSPOKEN_DIVA, don't ask me for my number.

Can we meet at a public event first? Let's meet at a local Comic Con event. Let's meet at an Empire watch party at a local theater. More than likely, I will be with a group of people & you will too. We can just greet one another and chit chat for the moment. Offline land is where I prefer to meet men. Hiding decreases in Offline land. Trust me, I am not as cool as my live tweet make me. LoL But you know that. So, find out what else I am about publicly outside of the internet before I let you into my personal world. Social Media is for socializing. Dating is not the only way to be social in my world.

Yep, you guessed it. I was on my way to the world of dating sites & apps. If I could get the users of dating sites to just be honest. Which "dating sites" are actually "hook-up sites"? I am convinced that free sites are hook up sites & paid ones are true dating sites. matter of fact, you will be helping me a lot if you let me know in the comment below. Oh and Thank You in Advance.

I've dated online before. I met my worse & one of my best boyfriends ever online. I've also wasted a lot of my time with online dating because I didn't know that the culture of the site. I was on Zoosk years ago. It was free then. That site was eye opening. Then I found out it known to be a "hook up" site and I closed my account quickly. I think Tinder is leaning that way. I know a lady who shared screen shots of an experience with a vulgar creep. I was offended for her. Oh and did she she tell him off? My Gosh, Yes, she did. But I should've known with an app that lets people first determine compatibility with swiping left or right to show like or dislike. I guess tinder knows dating's top surface is shallow as heck.

So yeah, I am maneuvering with technology and my dating life.  Again I refuse to date the disrespectful. If that leaves me dateless, so be it. And my fellow ladies in the dating game, Stop indulging dudes' "Snap Chat Me the Puh" requests. If he wants to see it, he'll come over to see it. Stop letting folks take the easy way out. They get used to the standardless and don't know how to engage with us with standards of some kind.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

I Don't Believe in the Zodiac

Now before the non-Christian, open-minded community just sum this post by saying "Oh that because she is a Christian", let me be snarky. Everything a Christian is for or against is not because they are a Christian. The Lord gave me a brain to make choices but didn't he give you one also.

If you are fortunate to be a "friend" of mine on Facebook, you know I don't believe on the zodiac. I just researched my timeline (TL) and their many posts about my disbelief. But in all fairness, Facebook is the place where MANY of the zodiac memes are posted & reposted (two particular "signs" are really active in posting & reposting, no shade). So more than likely, I'm a little more vocal about my opinion there.

I don't understand how the stars can "sum" up everybody in the world by these 12 signs. I just think because it is told that people under their symbols portray certain characteristics, most for whatever reasons decided to believe what is told. No One is all their sign is described to be. People & their lives are much more fluid than their "zodiac sign", in my opinion.

I wasn't born a skeptic to the zodiac. I read a book that mentioned my sign in high school. Oh, what is my sign?

♫Meta Gemini, ooh what a sex drive

She wanted it from the front, back, left and the right

Baby, I will guarantee to give you everything your body's missin'♫

I'm being silly. I am a Gemini but I Can Not & Will Not confirm or deny Tyrese's description. LoL, I can confirm that I never slept with him or the other writers so, the lyric is not about me. But like that song lyric, that was the jist of what I read years ago. So, I decided to do a little more research and I then decided to read my horoscope for a moment. Its accuracy in my life was maybe 20% at that time. I decided then to never fully identify as a Gemini. The best way I can explain it is copy & paste the "Gemini Traits" and show with the colors, Blue (correct), Red (incorrect) & Purple (maybe-ish) on if my life matches.

GEMINI TRAITS
Strengths: gentle, affectionate, curious, adaptable, ability to learn quickly and exchange ideas
Weaknesses: Nervous, inconsistent, indecisive
Gemini likes: Music, books, magazines, chats with nearly anyone, short trips around the town
Gemini dislikes: Being alone, being confined, learning, such as school, repetition, and routine

Expressive and quick-witted, Gemini represents two different sides of personality and you will never be sure with whom you will face. Gemini can be sociable, communicative and ready for fun, while on the other hand, it can be very serious, thoughtful, restless and even indecisive.

Gemini sign means that sometimes people born under this sign have a feeling that their other half is missing, so they are forever seeking new friends, mentors, and colleagues.

Love & Sex
Communication is very important for Gemini, as much as physical contact, and when those two things combine nothing is an obstacle. Inquisitive and always ready to flirt, Gemini will spend a lot of time with different lovers until they find the right one, who can match his intellect and energy.

Friends & Family
Those born under the Gemini sign are very social people and love to spend time with friends and family. Gemini has friends in abundance and loves to chat and be understood, so one of the qualities that he seeks in others is good communication. Without a clear flow of conversation, Gemini will quickly lose interest in communication. Family is important to them, especially those family members that are similar to them. Friendship with siblings is very common for Gemini, and the time spent with them is precious. Family responsibilities often represent a challenge for Gemini, but they always know how to cope with it.

According to this, we All are...
And what is a lair?

Attracting the Gemini Woman
If you want to attract a Gemini woman, you will have to be able to keep up with her dual nature. Gemini women can be passionate and gentle one moment, and aloof and distant the next. This is a result of their natural tendency to be wary of love.
A woman born under the Gemini zodiac sign can be very enthusiastic, witty, intellectual and soft-spoken. One of the best Gemini characteristics is their open-mindedness.
Although a Gemini woman is usually quick to have sex, getting in a serious and committed relationship will take time and patience. However, once she finds a man who can satisfy her sexual and intellectual desires, the Gemini woman will be the one to suggest to stop dating and start being a couple.
A woman born under the Gemini star sign can be the ideal partner for you, only if you are able to stick with her constant need to discover new mental and sexual challenges. On the other hand, sex with a Gemini woman will never be boring.
The Gemini woman is very intelligent, so if you can teach her about something that she doesn't know, you will impress her and increase the chances of winning her over. Overall, dating a Gemini woman can be a very interesting and challenging experience.

Ok, I'll hit on some of these Red highlights. "Dislikes learning, such as school" made me laugh so hard. I am much more book smart than street smart. Matter of fact some of my "street smarts" was read about in a book. "People born under this sign have a feeling that their other half is missing" & "Gemini has friends in abundance" is false. The "lonely type" of people worry me, let alone me being that type of person. I've been voluntarily single more than I have been in a relationship. I don't need or have a lot of friends. I'm not a trusting person so, "Chats with nearly anyone" is not my truth. I don't meet strangers but that is not because of me talking first to anyone. My friendly face & nature attract people. "Gemini will spend a lot of time with different lovers until they find the right one, who can match his intellect and energy" & "A Gemini woman is usually quick to have sex". I am glad for the word usually. I'm Team Celibate and quick & lot of time with different lovers is nowhere near my life.

But yeah, it is descriptions like those that prove to me not to believe the zodiac. I don't knock anyone who does. I've had several people quickly sum me up because the stars say this about because of my birthday. I can't & won't judge them. I'm open-minded enough to think fluidly about a person's life.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Social Discussions Approved...Fixing Your Husband's Plate???

I actually don't know how to start this post without rambling. If I do, forgive me. There is a meme making its rounds on Facebook (Where people know me in offline land as my biological name) that is actually working my nerves.

The act itself doesn't bother me. Serving is not a problem for me. I was raised in a home where a wife fixed her husband's plate. I fix plates every day for my grandmother & my invalid brother.

But for family events, it's every man for themselves. Even though she might at home, My aunt doesn't fix her husband's plate. My male cousins' wives don't fix their plates. My female cousins don't fix their SO's plates. The feeding order is children & elder members, first. Ladies are next. Men are last. Unless you are a 1st-time guest, no one is fixing a visitor a plate. That's my family. It is probably the reason for my annoyance.

Here is my opinion:

"He can fix his plate...Ain't nothing wrong with his legs..." is not a good answer

BUT

"Why aren't you fixing your husband's plate" should Not be asked either

Why is the Freakin' discussion or debate? Why does it matter if a woman does or does not fix her husband's plate? What is so offensive about not making this man a plate? Why is this even discussed?

I Refuse to argue this point with anyone. I will Never ask anyone a question concerning this. I always try to learn the rules of the culture or event. Matter of  fact, my answer to that meme is,

Yeah, I'm trying to lure. LoL
I made all this. *wink*
I play too much, I know

Because it is one way with my family, some are different. So, future husband, we will have to discuss this. If you ask me, I will fix it. But no one will make me feel bad if I don't fix your plate. You & I discussed this, Not you, me & their opinionated norm.

Oh and stop using the "Event Jezebel" as part of the argument.

If another lady preparing for my husband will break up my marriage, I don't think our union is that strong.

Dear Future Husband, Accept the plate, Say thank you, and Move on. I know you know this but society told me to handhold you in making sure you stay faithful.

And where is the debate for the men who were fixed plates, but didn't take the trash out?

Where is the meme that has men sitting there watching ladies disassemble card tables and folding chairs after the event? Oh, wait, wives got arms & feet, too. *sigh*

This is my opinion. But when I get married (According to a few FB quizzes it's November 13, 2016, to a guy with the initial J) don't come for me because I will walk away or tell you to mind your business and let me handle mine. Go fix your husband's plate, in peace. I felt like I should be grabbing air. LoL

And I am through discussing this.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Peter Rabbit Approved!!! (Healthy Holiday Recipes)

♫ Ohhh Here comes Peter Cottontail

Hoppin' down the bunny trail

Hippity hoppin', Easter's on its way ♫

If you're new to my blog, here is a fact about me. Easter is my Favorite Holiday. You can read about it Here, Here, & Here!!! Easter is the reason why the baby was born and the greatest thing to be grateful for. 

On Easter Sunday, we have a very light meal of ham or smoked turkey and salads. If it is cold weather, I will add a hot vegetable side dish, many times turnip greens to the menu, Potato Salad is the traditional salad but we have been known to add some others to the rotation. Since Easter is my personal favorite, I decided to feature recipes from myself and people I actually know. 

Yes, like most black & southern people, I don't eat any & everybody's potato salad. Most folks like it mayo or mustard based. Some people don't trust who cooked it. I have the latter concern because of 2 main reasons.

• Potato Salad is a Cold dish.

I'm not into the German kind. So, I won't eat it hot. Room Temperature potato salad can kill you. Well, at least think you dying. According to the CDC, the temperature “danger zone” encompasses the temperatures between 41°F and 140°F. Oh and trust me, I will ask if you made it the night before and let it chill for several hours. Ptomaine poisoning is never welcomed on my plate.

• Potato Salad should have salad in it.

Potatoes, eggs, & condiments is not potato salad to me. It needs at least celery, dill pickles & onions for me to enjoy it. So, if you want to make a basic OUTSPOKEN_DIVA approved recipe, take notes.

  

Potato Salad

Ingredients

• 3 or 4 mid-sized Russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks

• 3 Tbsps. finely chopped dill pickles

• 1/2 cup chopped white or yellow onion

• 2 stalks celery, chopped

• 1 or 2 chopped scallions, including the greens

• 1-2 hard-boiled eggs, chopped (My mom used a few of the eggs we dyed the night before. LoL)

• 1 medium carrot, shredded

• 1/2 red bell pepper, raw or roasted, chopped

• 1 (3.25 ounce) can sliced black olives

• 1 (7-oz.) jar pimiento-stuffed olives, drained and chopped

• 1/4 cup mayonnaise (or sandwich spread)

• 1/2 cup yellow mustard

Directions

1. Place peeled, cut potatoes in a large pot. Cover with an inch of water. Bring a pot of water to boil. Simmer for 10-20 minutes until just fork tender. Remove from pot. Let cool enough to handle, but still warm.

2. Put potatoes into a large bowl. Smash the potatoes. Add the finely chopped pickles themselves. Add onions, celery, scallions, the hard-boiled egg, carrots, and red bell pepper.

3. In a separate small bowl, mix mayonnaise with mustard. Mix in the dressing with the potato mixture.

I love Pickled Beets. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've had them prepared in any other manner  I saw this picture on my pals, Diet Solutions' Facebook page and I begged for their recipe. DS usually only releases most of their recipes to their clients. But they know they have my heart so, they gave it to me to post. *wink*

Pickled Beet & Cucumber Salad

Ingredients

• 4 tablespoons vinegar

• 1 tablespoon orange juice

• 1 (15-ounce) can sliced beets (drained)

• 1 large English cucumber, unpeeled, cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds

• 1/2 sweet onion, halved lengthwise, thinly sliced

• 1 Tsp Salt-Free Italian Seasoning

Directions

1. Mix vinegar & juice together in a small bowl

2. Set it aside

3. Arrange vegetables in a bowl or platter. Pour vinegar & juice mixture onto vegetables Sprinkle with salt-free Italian seasoning

4. Cover & refrigerate for at least 4 hours before serving

If you told me 10 years ago my friends & I would talk about recipes as much as we laugh at each other, I would still be standing there in awe. I think I only have one friend that does not cook And yeah, she catches a little ribbing about it. My Bestie Boo, LJ and I are at least once a week talking about recipes. He was making this, one afternoon while we were yacking on the phone. He rattle off the ingredients and I had to tell you guys about it.

Spinach & Strawberry Salad

Ingredients

• 6 cups baby spinach leaves

• 1 pint (approx. 16 medium-size) fresh strawberries, hulled and quartered or sliced

• 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese

• 3-4 tablespoons vinaigrette dressing of your choice (A classic recipe is provided below)

• 1/2 cup pecan pieces

Directions

1. In large bowl, toss spinach, strawberries, and cheese.

2. Sprinkle pecan pieces & drizzle dressing on top just before serving

**Add a little red onion for a little pizazz**

Classic Vinaigrette

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

• 1 tablespoon chopped garlic

• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

• 1/8 teaspoon pepper

• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

Directions

1. Combine vinegar, garlic, Dijon mustard, and pepper.

2. Gradually add olive oil, stirring until incorporated.

Well, my appetite has been whetted. No matter what you serve for Easter let your heart & mind be on the true meaning of the holiday. It is our Lord's son laying his life down and rising 3 days later, so that we could have life more abundantly. As a songwriter wrote, "There is No Greater Love".

Alright, I will have more recipes for you guys for Juneteenth. Since Memorial Day is a Monday holiday like Labor Day, I will refer you to the Labor Day installment for ideas. 

Happy Easter!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Term

Man Please, I'm Tired

This is probably should be called How Outspoken_Diva Will Never Get a Date Again or Why ALL the Men Boycott Outspoken_Diva. LoL But I am tired of every crappy male opinion about women. We need one another to survive but you trample us every chance you get. So, let me air out some grievances,  

I'm Tired of 77=100 Because it doesn't. No matter what stats you put on our plate on why, I'm not ingesting that crap. Equal Pay for Equal work. And I won't be fooled by "Period Leave". That's another way to hide behind not paying women what they are worth.

I get tired of the complaints & insults just because a woman bring up the topic of equality

Is Chivalry is dead is the question, but somehow the answer leads the problem of independent women. I'm tired of guys passing the blame and not owning up to their part. Open the door for a lady. Offer a standing lady a seat. Walk on the open side. Ring or Knock the door for a date. And stop worrying about if she will be upset if you "patronized" her.

I'm tired of No not meaning No. I was never taught another meaning for that word. I read an interesting article about Consent on The Root. If THIS doesn't help you...

I'm tired of Overly Conscious N-word yelling Bed Wench for every black woman's decision that doesn't line up to their views. Like the Queen never thinks without the King. Like a Queen can't still be a Queen without a King.

And where were they when Charles McKinney shot a lady because she rejected him. I tired of you guys preaching about all the injustices done to you but not teaching your brothers how not do wrong to others

Street Harassment & Cat Calling, You know I am passed tired. It's more than a hello. Say Baby & Psst is not a greeting. Down grab my arm to get my attention. Don't follow me to wear me down into speaking to you. Let me be just be rude when you speak.

I'm tired of being told the "Dress How You Want to be Addressed" but my male counterpart is rarely told to "Keep His Hands & Eyes to Himself at All Times".

My body is not a Feeling & Touching toy no matter how I'm dressed. Because a woman can be covered up and still have a stray hand touch bottom. No cleavage can be showing and breast are still being ogled at. 

How Tired I am, I needed Kelly Price for the soundtrack

Another celebrity who fell for the "Reality" trope at one time

I'm tired of some of these male self-help authors writing books for ladies but have yet to write a book for men. I can "Act Like Lady & Think Like a Man" but what is the dude I dating suppose to do. I get it the numbers say women read more than men. The stats didn't say Men don't read at all. Oh you can have a show called "It's Not You, It's Men", but when will you have a show for men to learn, It's Them? Wait that means you must admit, It's you, too. And he Just Not be Into Me but let him know I just may not be into him also. The dating reaction coin works the same for both genders.

Oh and "Good Guys", I'm tired of you too. A Good guy doesn't have to tell me he is one and then get upset that I am not interested in him. You getting upset actually flaws your good status. It is not always about a woman wanting a "Bad" boy. Ever had the thought that you are just not the "Good" guy for me.  All levels of attraction must be mutual.

Oh and Church men, I'm tired that I can be your bible study, Sunday school, children's church, ect., teacher when you were a little "boy". (Look around and find how few males are teaching children in church) Oh, but you have a problem with me teaching you as a man. Some of your pulpits won't allow a woman to be a minister, pastor or bishop. Women are are only allowed to speak to some of the main bodies on 5th Sunday for Mission or Women's Sunday.

I'm also tired that it is taught that ladies can't sit on the front row because it will distract the preacher. But the preacher is not taught not to sit in the "Baby, Come & Get It" stance in the pulpit. If he was hid behind the cross like he was supposed to be, he wouldn't be distracted.

Oh and most of the women in the church are not after the preacher or the new single man at church. I tired of that stereotype. I got a feeling a fed-up lonely, dateless usher started that. He told the stereotypical gay dude before the start of Men's bible class and it spread like wildfire. Now, that usher is long dead leaving a late in life wife, some foster kids, and that rumor here on this Earth.

And since I mentioned a gay man. Gay men, time to sip a cup a tea, because I'm tired of you guys, too. You are not the end all to be all when it comes to fashion. I don't need you to tell me how to dress to catch a heterosexual man. You guys don't feel the urgent need to help straight brethren to catch my straight butt. Clearly not because, who pairs polka dots and stripes and calls it edgy. I dress for me and if a man likes that, Great. Either give me a compliment or don't. Because truth be told your very fashion uncomfortable tips, didn't land me a man either.

And this love for the Sassy Female trope is Very tired. She is a negative caricature. I don't care if Mr "Reality TV", Andy Cohen promotes on his "reality" full of overbold women telling it like it is and keepin' it real all the time. Women's lives are never 100% domineering moments that demand us to shoot from the hip.

And and this tired euphemism of things feminine you guys use, Fish. It is past time for you to stop the using fish in that manner. You have been told repeatedly how offensive. We are not synonyms for what men like yourself imagine as our “dirty smelly” reproductive systems. We are every bit as fully human as you.

Oh and heterosexual men donning on wigs doing skits let's address you. Some folks (male & female, hetero & homo sexual) think you need to just come out the closet. I'm not going to touch that opinion. That's not my opinion. But I see some of your passive aggressive way to express your complaints the stereotypical behavior of baby mama's, trailer trash, ratchet, & chola chicks, & church girls through the vehicle of comedy. Comedy is subjective but you guys need some new material. A few are cute but many are overkill. Stop hiding behind a wig to make your points. And get a lady to do the role.

Nerds, you are not exempt. I get pop culture's normalization nerdom is now tainting the waters. But to tell ladies to prove they are nerdy is sexist.

And I'm tired of you fanboys dictating to me what is acceptable nerd culture & who can celebrate. As a marginalized group, it behooves me that you would tell a lady who has the same interests as you, that she is a fake.

Well now, I am exhausted. I probably have barely scratched this topic. But I had to LOVE you guys enough to tell you that you are hurting me. And yes, I know "Not All Men". Well, not All Women are not the stuff you a tired of us doing. Comments are open, of course. No Mansplaining, though. No one is slow. And only the guilty and hard of understanding would do that tired mess anyway. Alright, I love you, guys!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Who Am I? Thanks Black History Month!!!

*It's long. Tried shortening it. That made it dumb. So, it's long*

A photo (Not my photo & can’t procure permission from everyone in it, so I can’t show it) of my foundation church Sunday School classmates & me when I was maybe 17. (My Hair said 16. ‬My dress said 16 or 17. My feet say 11. ‪My Classmates say 17 or 18) ‬that surfaced a few weeks ago on Facebook, took me way back. I remember that smart butt bought to the nerd. She winks back at me all the time in the mirror. She's my personality foundation! But a time shortly before then, you would’ve thought co-switcher was my professional goal. There was a time I didn't show all of me everywhere.

If the term code-switcher was a popular thing when I was growing up, explaining the type of person I was to people would've been so much easier. I've been a Black Christian Nerd for many, many, many years.

My mind could have easily wandered
to this thought as a teenager
LMBO

I've been Black all my life. I was born that race and I identified with many parts of "being black". I didn't become a Christian until I was 13. Oh, I was baptized at the urging of my family at 8. But I didn't accept him as my savior wholeheartedly until then. (We'll tackle that another day) Plus, I was "churchy" and that doesn't hide. And I have been a nerd as early as age 4. Yes, one day a few years ago, I sat and pinpointed the moment.  I didn't want to go to daycare after the 1st semester because I couldn't "say some of those words in the book" like a couple of kids my exact age at church that I thought was dumb. I also felt like if I was going to "school", why didn't my teacher give us homework like my sister (who is 7 years older) had? Yeah, I know. Who wants homework? Hey, I felt like I should've learned more that scriptures, pledges, Lego blocks, & the lyrics to "Love Come Down"(Oh, I was Evelyne Champagne King!). My grandfather was tired of my fighting after Christmas break so, I was at home until time to go to public school. Yes, I regretted wanting homework years later.

Now since a "black nerd" was not pop culture entity until the 90s with the characters of Steve Urkel & Carlton Banks (even though there were so many non-stereotypical others, including Laura Winslow & some of the cast of a Different World), I didn't realize I was a nerd until I was in high school. Black & Christian was a combination I could explain. Unless you were angrily against being Christian, no one bothered people about being a Black Christian, as they do now. Black & Nerdy, I could explain it. I had friends who were like me watching & analyzing Star Trek, Next Generation, X Files, Power Rangers, V. R. Troopers, Degrassi High, ect on the phone.

I had friends that I shared a love of writing fan-fiction about the current Black stars & singers, we thought were handsome.

My Bedroom wall aka My Muses,
sometimes when I was younger

This was before the popularity of the internet so, who knows where those papers are. I've had that kind of buddies since elementary school. The interesting part was that those friends were only at school. Oh and alas, being a Christian Nerd. It is hard to explain to church folks & educated anti-Christians that you believe God is the creator of all and you believe that Big Bang Theory & Evolution is just a technical explanation of what he did. Now, two Black Christian Nerds (though I don't think they would use that term) were raising me, my mother & my grandfather. In their stories of their past, I learned that my grandfather was put out of a high school class & my mother was put out of a Sunday School class because of this view. So, I internalized that I better "keep my head down" on that view. I just added the behavior to all my other code-switching styles and didn't show any "nerdy" qualities as much as possible at church. Well, that behavior couldn't be hidden. And one day I decided that it was going to be seen.

My foundation church was one that pushed the importance that we should learn black history. In February, they went all out. The weekly congregational hymn every week was "Lift Every Voice and Sing"(I rant about folks not knowing this song is the previous POST). The Youth Directors & Sponsors put on wonderful programs & musicals.

But my favorite was the weekly "Who Am I" riddles. Every week after the church announcements & before alter prayer, one representative from one of the various youth groups gave clues of someone in Black history. Sometimes, they were easy. Sometimes, they were not easy. I loved them because many times we would learn about somebody other than the same people. A few years before I did a riddle about one of the 1st Black Post Masters in Dallas and it was cute & got applause. But that was only because I personally knew the person. This one time I was picked as the representative for the Youth Ushers. So, the assignment had to be easy for me but stump the congregation. Well, in an old VBS book, the CEO of the publishing board, R.H. Boyd Publishing, T D Boyd, III  (HERE is the info of him & his family) was being talked about. Our Christian curriculum books came from that place so, he had to be a big deal for them to talk about him in one of our books. That was the answer to that assignment. I just needed to read it. Well, the day before I was to present was the Youth Usher meeting. The president, this girl I was friendly with & I will blog name Robbie, ask me who was I presenting. I said T D Boyd, III. She told me to do somebody that people would know. Then she said "Ain't nobody gonna guess him. You always have to go too far. Always a know-it-all nerd". At that moment I had had it and I went off. "Yes, I am a know-it-all. I know I'm not 5 and am well pass doing Harriet Tubman & Booker T. Washington. Just because you don't know who he is, doesn't mean somebody else won't. And what about the other folks who don't know and may like to know". After enough eye-rolling and neck twirling, I grabbed my purse and left the sanctuary.

That night I thought long and hard about not being all myself at church. I had to stop "hiding" what was not being hidden well. I was a nerd and I didn't think exactly like some of the congregation. It's not like they were going to oust me. I am not my mother. The teacher that put her out wasn't even my teacher. I came to church that Sunday, Ready. I did me "Who Am I" and a few people answered correctly so I said with a big grin, "You are correct". I looked at Robbie so I could gloat but she gave me a thumbs-up before I could. Oh yes, Robbie & I are still friendly buds. That was the ups & downs of church teenage angst. From time to time, we've run into each other at the church I go to now.

I never really know how I convinced myself that I hiding that part of me at church. As I look back my thinly veiled attempt to be stereotypical church cool was as weird & awkward as I could be. Plus, it was rather dumb since I went to high school with 3 people from church.

I figured better give it a personal touch.
I looked like this during that time.

I think it was my public speaking mask (another blog another day) that I hide behind or the smart-aleck teenager that I blame my antics on anyway. But once I stopped doing it, it opened my eyes to other nerdy, weird & awkward (they may not call themselves one) members there. I also learned that I was not the only person who believes in God & in evolution, also, Oh, there were still people that think I'm a weirdo but that's life. There are some people I think are weird, in and outside of the church. That's what this world is filled with mostly a bunch of weirdos trying to live the best life they can.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms