Monogamy, Polygamy, What About Honesty?

Dear Men I Will Date in the Future,
When I asked you if were you monogamous, I really hope you were being honest. I want you to be honest that you are educated about the polyamorous & open relationships. The information & discussions are out in the public. Trust me, the comedian, Monique & her husband are to only people in an open relationship that are talking about it.
I know I am monogamous. I educated myself to know some things about Polygamy. If there is more, trust me as learn about it, I think about how it fits my life. Polygyny (men in relationship with several women) the most commonly known.

I'm not into sharing a man. I've never fought to keep a man. I've always let him go. Also, I am not sexually attracted to women. You may want that. You deserve a woman that would.
I am not into polyandry, a relationship involving one woman with several men.

I'll be honest, I've picked sleep over sex before. I'm a foot or so away from 40 years old while writing this. And you guys I am "writing" to are 37+ years old. The thought of double play & gangbangs should seem exhausting. Oh and flesh lights are not cheap and would chip into our household expenses.

I know you're thinking who said we are agreeing to any of that. And that is my Major reason why I know I am monagamous. It is a lot of work in compromise & agreements between two consenting adults. Add more folks to the relationship meeting of the minds and the work has to continue. Oh also, you & I have to meet guys who would want to join us. Ever watch the show "Raising Hope". They have a polyandry episode. It's not that easy or funny.

That's why you need to be honest. *imagine me singing in a Jenifer Holiday voice*

🎶I'm Not Waking Up Tomorrow Morning And Finding That You Really Want To Open. And I Am Telling You I Will Be Going.🎶

This is why I asked you in the begining, so you have time to know we are not equally yoked. Like I said, the info & talk is out there. If Wikipedia & articles are not your thing, several podcasts have episodes that delve into the topic. One even introduced me to a good web series called Compersion, that can be found on You Tube. There is no reason for you to tell me you are monogamous and you are truly not.

So, be truthful. I don't deserve lies or uncertainties. No one does. I can handle your truth.  Trust me!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Go See Wonder Woman!!! I Did!!! Oh & I Have a Giveaway!!!

First, let me say I am not an esteem movie reviewer. I'm just a Wonder Woman fan with a blog. I have a best friend who LOVES Wonder Woman, who invited me to a free screening that he saw on Facebook. Oh and several folks I know asked how I like it.

With that said, here are the my non-spoiler feelings about Wonder Woman - The Rise of a Warrior(WoW). With a nod to one of my favorite movie reviewers, Andre, the Black Nerd, I going to give you the Good, the Bad, & the Diva of this movie.

The Good
WoW is a great movie. I usually favor more Marvel movies but DC has a Great contender with WoW. Patti Jenkins has set the bar high. She directed this movie well. She did a great job painting the picture of a naive, young woman to an aware & inspired warrior. If you like her little screen time in Batman v Superman, Gal Gadot will raise your expectations as Diana Prince a*k*a Wonder Woman.

Remember when the Holiday ~vs~ Hudson Dreamgirls debate. I feel you won't forget Lynda Carter but you will put Gadot right beside her in a "Who is the Best Wonder Woman & Diana Prince" discussion. If you read the ending credits, you will see the honor. Gadot expresses the speed, agility, & strength with such ease. You will actually believe Gadot is transforming from innocent to inspiring. Chris Pine made forget he was Chris Pine.

I don't dislike him but this is the first character he wasn't "the real good looking guy playing a character". He was Steve Trevor. He was a great sounding board for Diana. He's not brutish turned softer but instead shows genuine patience with Diana. Actually, you will enjoy seeing Steve learn a new definition of the term, hero. There is also a smaller character I want to highlight. DC, can we get a short film about Sameer? And please cast Saïd Taghmaoui to play him. When he told his personal story to Diana to help her understand a point, I became intrigued.

The fight scenes are good. No one scene is the same. Only one is a stereotypical battle scene. It happens on the island of Themyscira. When the film gets to Europe the fight scenes aren't as staged. The superhero-style action scenes come into play perfectly. Also, WoW isn't campy in her fighting. She's not knocking out hundreds of men in a giant swoop. Matter of fact the whole team plays an intricate part in "winning" the war.

The Bad
The bad is bad. Europe is really warred dark & Themyscira’s shores are non-war bright. Fighting on Themyscira’s shores is just as cheesy as it is on the trailer. Detailed care was put into Diana's fight scene but no one else on the island. Poor Queen Hippolyta looks like she is back kicking the horse she is jumping off of to fight.

The story development for the bad guy is iffy. We know they're after a bad guy. He's all through the movie but the bad guy's motivation is ham-fisted in at the end. And then there is the Race problem. I hate that I'm woke enough to see it. On Themyscira, the WoC has very few lines. The strongest warrior has dark skin. She's just standing there unphased with the meanest of looks. Yes, the Senator is a WoC also but the strongest warrior standing there like Godzilla being thumped bothered me. In Europe, it is worse. I only counted one blackface with the soldiers. If you count more let me know in the comments. My great-grandfather was in WWI (time period for the film). I didn't know he was the only black soldier then.

The worse part for me is Diana's innocence. My best friend thought it gave the movie texture. For me, Diana Prince is a naive know-it-all in the Worse kind of way. We know she only knows life on Themyscira. It is hammered in hard. But all her hands-on transitions to learning about the outside world are so obvious. Every time she finds something out I wanted to yell, FINALLY!!! I wish her coming-of-age flowed smoother.

The Diva
I want the WoW/Diana Prince undercover suit. When she chose it, I was proud. It's feminine without being frilly. It meant WoW came to fight.

Themyscira looked very modern. It didn't look like an old boring ancient city. They wore goddess style dresses & battle gear but they had color and they flowed. The battle gear wasn't just stiff corsets & skirts. They looked doable & fashionable.

Etta Candy is Plus Size!!! Not "curvyish" but a true dress size 18-20. When I saw her come on the screen, it was so refreshing. Over the years Etta was being shown smaller & smaller. This movie gets Etta right.

Ok so if you made it to the end of this, you have an opportunity to win a prize.

• If you are a male reader, you can win beard oil from the trusted brand.
• If are a female reader, you can win an official Red Dress pin.

First to answer correctly wins.
Answer in the comments After you see the movie:
What is the underlying lesson lurking in Wonder Wonder?
Hint: It is parental.
Good Luck!!!

Go See Wonder Wonder!!! In theaters June 2nd!!! Let teach Warner Bros & DC, a Woman Can Kick Box Office Butt!!! See you there. Fourth row up, on the end. LoL

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Chicken Fried Amore (Book Review Spoiler Full)

I will read anything once. There is a box of unlked books, my laundry basket sits on to prove that statement. When I found out KFC released a 90+ page, romance novella called Tender Wings of Desire, I immediately went to Amazon to get my free copy. Let's see what the Colonel is into.

The cover is rather triggering. Who coined the terms "Mommy Porn" & "Housewife Literature"? I'm sending a cyborg to that time to thump that person. The cover has Col. Sanders is holding up a lady and her handbag on her shoulder in his arms. So instantly, you know who this book is for.

The story takes place in Victorian time, England. Lady Madeline Parker is not interested in most traditional lady-like things. Madeline is often a direct contrast to her younger sister, Victoria. Victoria also can’t wait to marry a man, while Madeline “would be perfectly happy to be a spinster all of her life.” Their socialite mother arranges for Madeline to marry a duke named Reginald. Madeleine decided to flee from her family's home the night before the wedding on horseback.

She settles in a faraway seaside town. And she gets a job at a tavern called The Admiral’s Arms. An American sailor with sea colored eyes & dark rimmed glasses, named Harland enters. Clearly, that man was Colonel Harland Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). They have a quick moving & passionate affair. Then she finds out he has money & riches. She confronts him & he explained that he hid the truth after hearing about her past. She forgives him & the leave on his boat to live in Kentucky. Oh don't feel bad for Reginald. He marries Victoria.

Tender Wings of Desires is cute. It is a solid story. I did expect fried chicken to be made in the story, at least once. I was a tad disappointed. I also expected a digital coupon after the story. A little promotion couldn't have hurt. Oh well, it was free. We will see what KFC cranks out for Father's Day.

Don't Forget RIF!!!

And As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Mom, Did You Make This? (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

Thanks to Facebook, my mother's blog name be Muh Diva, as in My Diva. Muh Diva didn't cook often while I was growing up. My grandmother cooked during the week. We ate fast food on Saturdays. My youngest aunt, Stump cooked on most Sundays. (95% of the cooking is my job, now) Then Stump got married & moved when I was twelve & my grandmother & mother switched out on Sundays, while the other went to church.

Notice I said Muh Diva didn't cook. That didn't say she couldn't cook. My mom is a good cook but she was a working mom.  She makes simple classic meals well. My niece & nephew are always wanting her to make meatloaf. She also loves to recreate meals she liked eating at restaurants. (Yep people of offline land, that's where I get it from) She has a discerning palate.

And since the internet was not in our home (or your home) when I came up, her palate came in handy. My favorite dessert my mom makes is Millionaire Pie. She had it first at Luby's. Then she found the recipe on a label of Eagle brand condensed milk. And one holiday, it entered our lives. I'm over 30 & if Muh Diva says to put the ingredients to this pie on the shopping list, I don't argue.

I probably break into my happy dance and go get those ingredients. She doesn't make it often. It's rather pricey. So when she makes it, we consider it a gift.

Millionaire Pie

Ingredients

• 1 (8 ounces) package cream cheese, softened 
• 1 (14 ounces) can sweeten condensed milk 
• 1 (12 ounces) container frozen whipped topping, thawed 
• 1 (20 ounces) can crush pineapple, drained 
• 1 1/2 cups chopped pecans
• 2 (9 inches) prepared graham cracker crusts

Directions:

1. Blend together the cream cheese and condensed milk; gently fold in the whipped topping.
2. Stir in the crushed pineapple and pecans; pour into pie crusts and refrigerate for 3 to 4 hours

As she says, mix, pie crust, & refrigerate. So, make it and indulge for me. Oh, the pie also freezes nicely. Shout to my cousin, blog name Cline, who makes a diabetic version of this pie, for sharing that tip with us.

As Always Talking to You in Adult

In Offline Land, I Have a Cuss Word Limit

Sorry, if you read the title and have already assumed it's because I'm a Christian, it won't hurt if you left. Your summation is wrong.

Yes, I use profane language. I don't use it online because I like my swear words "to have an impact". Typing them lessens the blow. But yeah, I come from a long line of cussers. You know that actor that plays the Senator on The Wire & Fed Agent in She Hates Me. I think we might be kin because my family says the s-word just like that. My grandmother blamed cable tv on us kids swearing. That was until my brother, G (who has mental challenges) used a compound curse word that only she uses. She hasn't passed that blame ever since. 

I used to have the vocabulary of a lady-like pool shark. In middle school aka I'm really "Black" time, I don't know if I used English in any social setting. And before you ask, yep I swore in church. Then I embraced being black my way so other words came back to my mouth. Then 7 years ago, I had the worse date I never had. And the result was me changing the way I talked, forever.

I am not a "Chirp-Chirp" or a "Honk-Honk girl. Never have been and never will be. Couldn't believe people felt they needed a book to tell learn that, in my opinion.

Speaking of Think Like a Man, remember the first date for Mya & Zeke. Remember Zeke headed for the driver's side and expected Mya to open the passenger-side door herself. She didn't and he drove off. Well in my case, he didn't come back. He called me 5 minutes later and asked "Are you going to open your own door". I hung up on him. The next evening he popped by. That's another "rule" I have, "You need to call before you come over". Had he called, he would've known we had just put my grandmother in the hospital a few hours earlier. I also had my nephew with my brother & me.

Well, I met him on the porch. We have a screen door so I could see inside. All he asked was, "Why didn't you just open your mother fucking door"?. According to my next-door neighbor and "younger than me" guys on the street, I told this man off using nothing but profanity for three minutes. I have no clue what I said. I do know my face was red with anger and I did the "angry black woman" clapping a lot. I also remember the guy standing there a little scared. He left after that.

After I calmed down, I didn't feel bad for telling him off. He didn't have to swear at me. He needed to know how I felt. I felt horrible for using nothing but profanity as my argument. I know I was smarter than that. I knew more words than that.

So a few days later, I decided to have a daily 5 Cuss Word limit. I do pretty well. I don't beat myself up if I go over it. I also don't celebrate it if I do keep to it. I just try to keep my language cleaner.

It's said that 7 is the year of completion. I don't think my 5 Cuss Word Limit is complete. I do think I have completed thinking about it as I do it. Not swearing so much has become pretty rote. My best friend, Grady becomes a tad shocked when I do it in his presence. We've known each other since high school. If his ears denote the change...

So, what's something you did too frequently and are working or want to work on slowing? Leave it in the "No Judgement Zone" aka the comment section.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

New "Random" Series

I recently described myself as a random blogger. I think I like that description. Because truthfully none of this planned. It is called "Thoughts of an Outspoken Diva. There is no scheduled set up. My thoughts aren't scheduled. Most topics are basically mental suggestions for me to talk about.

With that said, I have a new series coming up. In Offline land, I keep recipes on my brain I work with recipes. I pull them for clients. I tweek them for my family & myself. I share them when people I know ask for them.

"OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Recipes" will cover some of my favorites to cook or suggest. Some will be healthy. Some will not be so healthy. Sometimes, I might provide two versions, like I have on Facebook for Frogmore Stew. Now, I won't be giving out any secret recipes. So no, you won't find out what is different about my mom's Green Bean Casserole.

So, look out for those post.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Boy, Prom is Really Different Now

Prom Season should be wrapping up soon. Congratulations to the Class of 2017, you looked very nice. Things are a lot different from when I went to prom. I did the math for my suit, shoes, jewelry, corsage, purse, hair, pictures, & transportation came to $320 for me. Everything but the purse, pictures, & transportation were gifted to me from my grandparents, neighbor, and beautician and we thank God for them. Now, party buses are rented. Girls have glam squads that could rival any brides. Boys get custom made suits from high end department stores. $320 doesn't seem so bad.

Also, we didn't have the extreme dress codes like now. I've said before HERE that my peers & I maybe some of the reasons for the rules. Many of the camisole length & "Down Low" video inspired dress were worn then. Heck, I easily broke this new "No more than 5" of chest" rule with my two piece. 75% of cleavage was seen.

But even choosing a date to prom is over-the-top. I have a cousin graduating next year. I chuckle at how he would ask a girl to prom. Will he just ask her in the traditional method? Will he be trendy and do a promposal? I'll let you know next year. Some are cute. Some are eye opening in a bad way. This year I had to add to the "Why I don't have children" list. These two (1 & 2) made me frown. Cotton Pickin'?!? Dark Meat with a KFC crown?!? Who is socially educating our young ladies

Then a young lady came across my TL who made 17 year old me say "I Not Worthy". Go read about her HERE. Even going solo is different. The mean & trivial parts (pray for those parts) of me understand. I didn't have a date for prom. Hello, I was

• only popular enough
• plus size 
• nerdy
• was too much of a good girl(Yeah, a crush actually said that(And I thank him))
• openly talked about cartoons & soap operas
• openly wrote fan fiction about R&B singers & basketball players.

I was not a "late Gen X high school" catch. And the guy I was "talking to" had a math exam the next morning. So, he was out. A group of 4 of my friend girls & I rented an upscale limo, went together & had fun. But this young lady taking her Havard University acceptance letter as her date is so deliciously funny (and petty). I Love It. No one asked het to the big dance so she went creatively by herself. She didn't need male human companionship. And the wind from waving that accomplishment in the air would dry any possible tears. Gotta love Millennials, sometimes.

Again to the Class of 2017 (Preschool, Kindergarten, High School, Bachelors, Master, PhD), Congratulations!!! You made it this far, keep going until you can't anymore.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms