My Funniest Date Fear

Saw this meme in a Facebook group. I'm a Christian & not keen on a first date being at church. First dates are already awkward & unknown. Imagine some church missionary coming to meet you like this guy's date. Heck, I just got nervous typing that. Going to each other's churches is important. I just think that might be the step after introducing him to my friends, but before introducing him to my family. I definitely don't want to do it for the first date.

I once read a story about a lady meeting a blind date at the church on a Friday night. She thought maybe the guy worked there and they would leave once he got off work. That was not the case. The date was a Church Shut In service. A Shut-In is an all-night worship service in which participants engage in a variety of spiritual educational activities like prayer, testimonies, singing & listening to music to usher in the Holy Spirit into the participants' lives. 

The crazy part is that I have a fear I will end up having a church date like that, someway, somehow. It is probably one of the main reasons why I question people when they want to play matchmaker.
Wanna Be Matchmaker: They have to have a job. Love their mom.
Me: Ok Yeah
Wanna Be Matchmaker: And they have to be into the church
Me: Oh No! Oh No! You are Not qualified to set me up on a date. No! No!! No!!!
That scene is a true story.

So yeah, Let's hold off on the church visits for 4-6 months of exclusivity. Gives us a chance to observe each other outside of the church. Allows me to prepare for the church mother & the pastor. And if a church shut-in is what "spend the night together" means, I'm not your girl.

Love that the guy wants to fully share God with me, but that is very intimate. I think that will go on the engagement or married activity list. While dating, we'll find other ways to show one another our God in other creative ways.

Don't show too much, too soon.

In the comments, let me know if you would go to church as a 1st Date.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Church Folk + Secular Music Examples = Doing Da Most

Warning: If you usually respond to church "controversies" with "That Is Why I Don't...", LEAVE NOW!!! Never in the mood for those attitudes.

Ok, so there are a couple of video snippets making the rounds of some teenagers dancing to the album version of "The Story of OJ" by Jay Z & "Break Every Chain" by Tasha Cobb. At first I only saw the Jay Z dance. I was horrified & perplexed. Then I saw both snippets(The link is HERE) and I was less horrified, yet still perplexed. Here are my feelings via FaceBook.

But it also brought up another issue I have with secular music or music references being in churches. Why we, church folks have to be extra when presenting it.

I've walked in while visiting a church and people shouting & praising God to "Love Train" by The O'Jay. Once I realized what being sung, I shrugged it off. I've also visited a church were SWV's "Rain" was sung like a worship song. The person I was visiting with just pat my hand & said, "Yeah, I know". I guess they didn't know the song was about orgasmic release.

I guess it takes me back to growing up in Foundation church. There are examples, but one is very clear. We had a guest minister once that pretty much shaped this post.

He said, "You have to make the Bible interesting. If not they'll be Knocking Boots instead of studying the word". My friends & I were cracking up. He also referenced, R. Kelly & Levert in the sermon. It was the early to mid 90s, so it got interesting. Once at home, my grandfather asked me what did that "Knocking Boots" mean. I quickly said what it meant.

And since Youth Ministers were not trusted to not be overly-trendy. I made Pau-Pau a safe slang folder(Oh, he thought the term was some gang initiation.). I wasn't going to have that conversation again. Seemly that wasn't the only time a secular music reference that went awry a with a guest youth minister at Foundation. My childhood church friend, Georgette(Blog Name) mentioned to me a minister rapping UGK. I don't remember that but I don't doubt it & am not shocked about it.

And I know we love to make things creative. But in us being creative the message can get lost in the presentation. Sorry, but less can be more.

Maybe, just maybe had those little ones

were taught to K.I.S.S. stuff, some of us wouldn't be confused about their choice of dance music. I need somebody from this church (other than the messy butt drummer) to speak. My nosy self wants to know about this program. LoL

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Berry Sneaky!!! (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA's Favorite Recipes)

Pineapple, Carrots, Mint, & Beets

If you hate vegetables & drink a smoothie in my home, vegetables are entering your body. I love the summer because the fresh fruit is varied & plentiful. I just finished a peach before typing this post. Gosh, it was juicy & delicious. But I consume so much fruit, I forget to eat vegetables until dinner time. So, I end up missing out on my recommended daily value of vegetables. After getting a power blender & reading and learning more about smoothies, a few years ago I learned how to add vegetables to them.

The only vegetables I haven't hidden in a smoothie are lettuce, onions, garlic, and the technical tomatoes. I like hiding beets, carrots, green beans & corn with fruit, the most. Green beans, carrots, & corn have a natural sweetness to them. Beets give smoothies a bright aesthetic.
Yep, you think it's all berries & it is not.

The Berry Sneaky

Ingredients

• 1/8 cup beet juice
• 5 strawberries, leaves are removed
• 1/8 cup blueberries
• 1/8 cup green beans
• 1/8 cup corn
• 2 tsp honey (optional)
• 1/4 cup water

Directions

1. Add all ingredients to a blender
2. Blend until smooth
3. Enjoy

With pan-grilled chicken
&
toast

I don't drink smoothies as a meal replacement. That's like drinking Slim Fast. It is a part of a complete meal, for me. I usually pair it with a bread item(toast, biscuit, or tortilla) with peanut butter, cheese, eggs, or lean meat for protein. Must consume our nutrients anyway we can. Rather Can than Can't.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

What Can You Learn From the Friend Zone?

The Friend Zone! For those who have never understood it a dictionary says, "it is a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other". Many of the population have sent people to that place. Many people have been in the "friend zone".

The interesting part is, few people grow from there. So many are stuck in the image of being in a relationship, they miss the lessons while being there. Being "fat", "too much of a good girl", "nerdy", "not being seen in their forever", and the latest reason, "celibate", I used my time there learning some things.

• Your time, space, feelings, ect are yours.

You don't have to set aside special any thing for a person who isn't intetested in you back. I don't like playing around the edge of romantic rapport while I'm in the friend zone. They want to be friends, I treat them as friends.

• You can give your "representative" a rest.

Let's tell the truth in the beginnings of dating, we send our representative to test the "getting to know you" waters. It's a human condition, I think "dating rules" subconsciously taught. Those rules are followed here. In the friend zone, your representative is not needed. You guys are not dating, so you show the real you, all you.

• You see the true person sooner.

People who send others to the friend zone show their realness, also. Amazing what you see when a person shows you who they really are. Ever realize that the person you were interested is not that interesting after all. Well, in the friend zone, you get to see them without hurting your time, space, & feelings dates resulting in this revelation. And you get to be yourself when you "see" them.

Yes, the lessons come full circle.

These lesson have helped me send guys to the friend zone with some understanding.

If I send him to the friend zone, I keep everything as platonic as if they sent me there. I don't flirt. I pay for myself if we go out, unless he said his treat. Even then, I make sure it's my treat, next time. Why give any inkling I want them, if I don't?

Oh, I haven't even touched the biggest lesson from the Friend Zone.

• You don't have to stay in the Friend Zone

You can take a person's not interested status, remain cordial and move on with life. It makes a cute romantic story. But We are not Steve Urkel wearing Laura Winslow down. I know the heart & loins want what the heart & loins want. I just want us to talk to our brains and make sure being in the Friend Zone make sense to it. Unrequited interested, like, love, lust is still, Unrequited. 

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Yes, the Hair & Makeup Post is Late. Now Relax!!!

It is wash day and I decided to do my hair journey & makeup update. If you don't know, I have relaxed hair and I'm on a journey to wear my hair long. I've never worn that way as an adult. Also, I like talking about makeup sometimes, because sometimes I wear it. 

I didn't forget to do a hair journey & makeup update post in June. I was busy. I'll tell you now, I will not post a length check picture.

I'm not wearing my hair wrapped these days. I'm using less heat so I am wearing my almost shoulder length hair in loose curls or roller sets. And to acheive those I just use rollers, pin clips & curl rods. I stopped relaxer stretching to 6 months. I'm back to 3 touch ups a year. I'm stretching them to 4 months. I can also report, I finally found a protein treatment that works for my tresses.

In a bowl, mix

• 1 egg
• 2 Tbs mayonnaise
• 1 Tbs Tea Tree Oil

into my regular amount of my moisturizing condition. I apply it, tip to root once a month as a deep conditioner. My hair is stronger and thicker & I'm happy to finally get the right recipe.

I have actually been doing the trendy thing with my makeup. My old makeup blender split so I bought the popular Real Techniques sponge & a silicon makeup applicator. I really like both. The silicon causes me to use less foundation.The beauty vloggers are correct. Orange concealer is a good solutions for dark areas before putting on your foundation. I like using the L.A. Girl & Hard Candy brands.

I also tried contouring. I'm not into doing that fully every time I do my makeup. And I refuse to contour my nose, again. I love my nose & contouring it looked dumb. I now do my brows more often. Maybelline has mascara inspired wand called Brow Precise Fiber Volumizer. It fills in my brows without making them have the "drawn on" look. 

And yes, I was tempted & purchased a blush palette. These colors are very pigmented. I was sick when I went to see Wonder Woman. This blush palette from Beauty Treats gave me the color I needed to look human.

Well, that's the update on how my face & hair look. Always remember the best beauty products to have are good self-esteem & water to drink. They both help give you a great glow. What is put in the inside, tends to show up on the outside.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

From Your Sh*t, A Monster Can Grow

No going to hold you long.

Septic Tanks! Google says, "It's a tank, typically underground, in which sewage is collected and allowed to decompose through bacterial activity before draining by means of a leaching field". Every building has at least one. 

A pipe leading to our septic tank cracked. It was a cruddy & pricey nightmare. Sewage water was covered in our side yard. We got it fixed. The water evaporated but the waste went into the soil. With the spring rains and pollination, in the fertilized soil grew this monster of a bush. I was heading over to that side of the house to hook up the water hose & "Feed Me, Seymour" was in my way. In one month after getting the pipe fixed, this big bush appeared. WoW!!!

Sh*t blew that up fast. 

Yard men will be here next week.

It reminds me of the topic of how the crap of life (messy situations) can cause new problems blow up quick. Even when you fix the cause of the crap, remember there is crap out there that needs to be handled. Not until we deal with the waste, that issue will grow into other issues. So, get your sh*t together.

And As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Do You Know What Today Is?

It's my Blogiversary!

I'm going to keep it real with you guys, I actually had thoughts to stop blogging mid-way this blog year. After the Food-It-All series ended, I was thinking about closing up shop. Then I drank some water and the randomness of my mind flowed again.

Actually, I was inspired by some followers' questions and some changes are coming about. Stay tuned on future announcements with those changes.

This Blogiversary will be me answering two questions about me from new followers that are maybe answered in much older posts. So new followers, make some room to take this info in. Older readers take this as an ICYMI (In Case You Missed It). And two questions that I have yet to answer.

Q1. What is the story behind the name OUTSPOKEN_DIVA? Ok, here is the full rather boring story. My second semester of college, I had a bored loser of a boyfriend who called me all the time. Like when I got up in the morning, walked in the door for lunch & after dinner, the dorm room phone was ringing because of him. Well, I had an English assignment to write a poem and create a rap name(English TA was what we now call a hipster). He called and I was busy. I told him that twice. I screamed it the third time. He got mad and called me a big mouth b-word. I hung up & Outspoken Diva came to me instantly. Many years later when I decided to write more poetry, I made it my poetry pen. And that's the OUTSPOKEN_DIVA story. Oh I dated dude only a month. He annoyed me. 

Q2. Why did I start a Blog? If you haven't realized, I don't work a regular 9-5. I wear a few hats but the main hats are Nutrtional Consultant, Buisness Owner, & Adult Caregiver. So, I have time to hear or read news. Before I started the blog, I had a lot of opinions running around in my head about the news I consumed. Best way to get these opinions out without annoying others in Offline Land was to make a blog.

Q3. Do I really think my future significant other reads my blog? I hope he does. Lets me know he considers my interests at least a tad. But that was not why I write "Dear Future Significant Other" posts. I'm just trying to be quirky in getting certain opinions out. 

Q4. Will I ever discuss sex as a topic? Do you want me to discuss it? I know I've talk about being celibate, sex numbers, & knowing male erotic dancers. I'm not a prude, but I've never been one to talk in public forums about intercourse. Now in my friendship circles, with certain family members, and of course with guys I seriously date, my sexual knowledge speaks for itself. So to answer the question, depending on the question that is asked...Maybe. 

I thank everyone for reading any posts I have ever published. I'm just putting my opinion out there. And as of course, I promise to always be me, OUTSPOKEN_DIVA.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms