OMG The Shirley Brown Vs. Barbara Mason Debate

I told you guys, my "black card" will be snatch because of my opinions about popular black music. The main reason will be because of my feelings of dread towards that whiney tune, "Because I Love You" by Lenny Williams. The second reason will be my choice of winner in the Shirley ~vs~ Barbara debate. The debate is based on two songs. "Woman to Woman" by Shirley Brown is a song structured as a phone call from a wife to her husband's mistress. "From His Woman to You" by Barbara Mason is the mistress' response. The debate question is Who Won!

I think Both lost!!!

Wait before I delve deeper into my opinion, I was told to tell you that it comes from a person who has never been in love. Oh and let me add the word, Yet. And save your emails because I will not be talking about that topic on here. Plus therapy told me that it was normal not to have been in love. So, consider this a practical view.

And maybe that is why I don't understand how Shirley feels. First of all, she saw one number with a name and she called it. Even in the 70s there were ways to do a little research on Barbara. I have heard my family members' stories. Research existed!!! And apparently, no one told Shirley not to call the mistress if she does not know her. Now if she knew her, a smack down is deserved. Who said that woman knows about you? They could've just met the other day and they hadn't had a chance to talk yet. And who is to say the mistress is not crazy? This cheating husband is not worth getting hurt over. Lastly, why Shirley spouting off about all, the stuff  she does for her husband like it was a badge of honor?

From the top of his head

To the bottom of his feet

The bed he sleeps in

And every piece of food he eats

You see, I make it possible

The clothes on his back

Ha ha, I buy them

The car he drives

I pay the note every month

Ma'am, you do all this stuff and he's still stepping out on you. No bells or whistles are going off to tell you to be embarassed, get off the phone, and prepare for a discussion with your husband.

And this response from Barbara down right stupid. Voluntary side chicks must study this song. Why didn't she say, "Ma'am, get of my phone with this crap & call your husband"? 

I can give him love 

Once we boil the song down, love means sex. It's the one thing Shirley didn't state she did for dude. And because she doesn't know her worth because she's "young" and does not have much going for herself, love seems to be where her self-value lies. And even if her love was really love, Love doesn't pay for STD medicine. Because that's what being shared. Let's be honest, Shirley & Barbara were singing to one another and that dude could've be chilling with Betty(Who tells people "I'll be the Other Woman". Look up the song) at that very moment. Love didn't keep this man's wife from calling you. Love ain't keeping him with you either.

So yeah, Shirley & Barbara Lose!!! This phone call could have been different, if both had used common sense and saw the common problematic denominator. Shirley stop taking care of that adulterous male human. Barbara close your love holder and send that guy out your life.

*sigh* Still want to snatch my Black card?

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Answering Questions Don't Take Holidays Off

Questions don't care what time of the year it is. If answers are needed, answer is what will be recieved. Let's see what's going on.

Q: Do you believe in re-gifting?

A: LoL Re-gifting is a touchy issue. So before I typed this post, I did a Twitter poll asking this same question. As you can see 2:3, that took the poll said Re-gifting was Gross. *sigh* But of course, my answer is not the popular answer. I Re-Gift.

Thank You for
Answering

I learned to re-gift as a teenager. I didn't get ears pierced until I was 22. That still didn't stop people from giving me pierced earrings. They would be nice earrings, so I would give my earrings as gift. And now with body oil & butters being popular gifts, I have to re-gift some now. The smell of Coconut is not a scent I like at all. And I seem to be the only person in world that feels that way, so re-gifting is the option I used. But I follow a set of rules in doing so.

• Re-gifting is not limited to the holidays. Most people get gifts other times of the year like their birthdays. If you know who you intend to give the gift to has a birthday coming up or if Mother's or Father's Day, give it to them then.
• A re-gift has to come with the right intention. It must be the receiver's style & be something you would likely bought for that person.
  
• Don't re-gift a present among the same social circle. For example, don't give another family member a gift, another family member gave you. Find a friend, neighbor, colleague, ect that may like the gift. I used sticky notes to identify who gave me the gift, so I don't make any mix ups.
• Keep the original packaging, but always re-wrap. But if it looks used, don't give it as a gift. Stop giving out bottles of lotion & colognes that look like testers. Stop giving things that look open. Put some personal touch on the gift to let someone know you care.
• Check your attitude in re-gifting. Heck, check it in giving anything. Most people who give tacky, used up gifts have jacked up attitudes. If you can't give with care, Don't!

Don't be afraid to re-gift. Give a non-used gift a good home.

Q: You've previously spoken of having a non-traditional tree. Have you seen the upside down trees? Would you ever get one?

A: I saw these on the show, Dish Nation. I think they're pretty, but not practical for my family. Yes, we have a corner tree for Christmas. It's just the front half of the tree with bar to stabilize it. We've had one for over a decade now. With 20+ people in a living room, space is key. I'm also the person puts the tree up. At 5'2", guess who is not hanging a tree up on the ceiling?

Did you know Upside-Down Christmas Trees started as a religious symbol? In the 12th century, pagans who converted to Christianity revered the fir tree as God's Trinity Tree. It was hung upside down in Central and Eastern Europe as a symbol of God, the Son becoming a man because it resembled the shape of Christ being crucified. WoW!

No matter what holiday you celebrate. No matter how you celebrate that holiday. Remember Love is the Reason for the Holiday Season. I believe the scripture, God is Love, but what is Love to you? That's the definition you celebrate the holidays with.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

Cake, Cake, Cake (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Recipes)

I don't make most cakes from scratch. I tried!!! Several times, I really tried. I mostly fail to put out a decent cake from scratch. My only successful homemade cake is THIS, Fresh Apple Ginger Cake. So if I make a cake, it is probably a "doctored up" box cake mix.

With Ginger Green Tea Lemonade

My taste buds mostly like simple flavored cakes. My only requirement is that they are moist and not dry. I like vanilla, strawberry, lemon, & Sock-It-To-Me. I'm not wild at all about chocolate or coconut cakes, but I really like German Chocolate. I know, it's weird. My favorite cake is basic Yellow or Butter cake with Chocolate Buttercream Frosting.

Ooh, you can't go wrong with a great buttercream. If I have my way, my wedding cake will be a vanilla cake with different fruit fillings between the layers with buttercream frosting or royal icing. The baker can save their creative fondant skills for the next wedding.

My favorite cake to make is a Marble Cake. Taking the knife to swirl both different flavors is so much fun. And the results are very pretty, in my opinion.

OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Marble Cake

Ingredients:

• 1 box of Duncan Hines Butter Cake mix
• 3/4 cup water
• 3 large eggs
• 7 Tbsp. softened butter
• 1/8 cup vegetable oil
• 1/3 cocoa powder

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F for metal or glass pan(s), 325°F for dark or coated pan(s). Oil sides and bottom of each pan with shortening or oil spray. Use baking cups for cupcakes.
2. Blend cake mix, water, softened butter, oil, and eggs in a large bowl at low speed until moistened (about 30 seconds).
3. Beat at medium speed for 3 minutes.
4. Measure 1 cup of batter into a small bowl. 
5. Pour remaining batter in pans.
6. Blend cocoa with the cup of batter in a small bowl.
7. Spoon onto batter in pan(s).
8. Swirl with a knife and bake immediately.
9. Bake the following chart below. *Add 3-5 minutes to bake time for dark or coated pans. The cake is done when a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
10. Cool in pan on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Cool completely before frosting. I prefer Fudge Buttercream.

Pan Size / Bake Time Chart

2 8": 26-31 minutes

2 9": 23-28 minute

13 x 9": 23-28 minutes

Bundt®: 33-36 minutes

24 Cupcakes: 18-21 minutes

So, that is my simple life with cake. Nothing more, darn sure can't be less. It's just a piece of cake.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

Maybe She's Gotta Have It Changed My Mind About Reboots

Yeah, it has a few spoilers. You have been warned.

Well when reviewers are not speaking your thoughts, you get them out yourself. There is one person's reviews that I like, but the reviews are slowly coming out one by one. I have never been shy about my dislike of most remakes & reboots. I think most original stories are better. Sometimes I watch them & sometimes I don't.

I've watched the 1986 movie, She's Gotta Have It at different times my life, as teenager, when I went to college, when I decided to live a sexless life, and more recently in my mid-thirties. It's about beautiful Nola Darling, who can't decide what kind of man she wants to date, so she dates three at the same time. And while doing that she searches to find out is she weird for doing so.

The movie has pure storyline. I am a sucker for simple tales. This movie is beatifully shot. The only thing I never liked was the infamous rape scene. It's existence never made sense to me. I have later learned I'm not the only one that feels that way. Then it was announced the movie was getting reboot series. So, I, a horrible binge watcher took the time and watched the entire show.

Pros:

• The Bed: I can always spot a true "She's Gotta Have It" movie fan by ownership or wanting a Nola Darling styled bed. I still want a bed with a candle holding headboard like Nola Darling. The bed is a tad different. It still has some of the candles, but the show's headboard resembles a fence. And if anyone is paying attention to the symbolism, Nola's bed is not a freedom sign for all.
• Soundtrack: I've never liked a whole Spike Lee movie soundtrack. Oh I like a song of two from School Daze, maybe a diddy from Crooklyn & oh the theme from Jungle Fever. The Netflix series is different. Not only is it beautifully scored, the show highlights them during the episode. There is even a song from the movie in the show.
• Cast: This cast is aestheticly pleasing. Other than 80s Nola, Tracy Camilla Johns, none of the main characters were cute to me. Now, that opinion does come from person who never understood the swooning for 80s Denzel Washington, 90s Wesley Snipes, & Jeremy Meeks. But the whole cast looks good in the show. The acting is very good. I never thought Mars Blackmon could be played better than by anyone but Spike Lee. Anthony Ramos gives a great spin on the character. And Dewanda Wise is Nola Darling. She gives the character sway that we didn't know we needed. Oh Tracy Camilla Johns makes a cameo in episode 6.
• Character Devolopment: Because the movie is such a pure tale, I worried about this the most when hearing about this show. In the movie, there is not a lot of talk about the character's job, family and interaction with outside world. That was not going to work for a 10 episode show. These come out to be some the most fleshed out characters ever written. There are backstories, families, jobs, bosses, neighbors and even a strip club. And it all flowed pretty well.
• Raqueletta Moss: Raqueletta Moss is my favorite character.
  
  Raqueletta Moss is a principal & Nola's boss. Raqueletta Moss loves her students and works hard to make sure they get a good education.  Raqueletta Moss tries to mentor Nola in teaching her students. Yep, Raqueletta Moss talks about herself in third person. It's how she deals with a painful past life. I love her because she is an example that Black Women Are Not a Monolith. She's not depicted as the usual angry black woman trying to cope with pain. Even how we deal with our pain is different. Now, should she talk to a professional about that? Don't we all need to talk to a professional about past pain.

Cons:

• Nola Darling: Nola is my least favorite character. Me disliking the main character is common thing with me. I didn't like Meredith Grey until after she adopted Zola. I know Nola is 27 years old, but she is a bit much & not really everything she claims to be. She's can be self-absorbed & neglectful. She claims to be an ally for many causes, but her judgements & ignorance to them tells another story. Once she was beard for male friend, but announced to a table of people you was not his girlfriend.
  
• Sexuality: Nola's celibacy phase is wrong. Giving up sex with men, but having sex with a woman is Not How Celibacy Works. And I need somebody to tell Nola Darling & the writers that. I hope somebody in the LGBT community is offended by Nola's actions, also. I would think it downplays lesbian sex. Like sex between two women is fake. I'm a heterosexual woman, but it seems common sense to me. And why does Nola say she is pansexual? Maybe they'll explore that more in another season.
• Social Topics: Some of the social issues need a little bit explaining. Like Back Alley Butt Shots & the people that give them needed a discussion. I know the folks that perform them are also billboards of their work. Other people may not. Then there were other topics that were just left incomplete. But that is a common issue I have with All of Spike Lee's Joints. A little fleshing out won't hurt.

And that's how I feel about Netflix's She Gotta Have It. It gets a solid B. I can come back to watch another season. If they are having one. Oh, I still dislike most remakes & reboots

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

Ugh, Social Media Prudes

A Prude are defined as a person who is or claims to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity. They are a weird group of people to me. My friend, Love knew a woman who literally stuffed her ears with her fingers & loudly sanged "La-La" when someone said, "I would hit that".

A few months later, her boyfriend & she were expecting child. That's another reason why they are weird to me. Most prudes I've known in life are having sex. On the flip side of that, people who frequently talk about sex and very sexless. I know, another peculiar group of people Life has us to know.

Social Media Prudes are the weirdest group of prudes to me. I'm not talking about being offended because someone sent you unsolicited pics of their nude body parts. I'm not talking about getting upset because somebody randomly added you to social media group full of men & women verbally talking about sex.

These are not the people educating anyone about different rape cuture examples. The prudes of social media are people sqwaking about ALL the topics discussed on #TwitterAfterDark" all the time. Why haven't these people muted that hashtag as soon as they could? These are the same people that have respectability rankings of current & former IG models. People who ask you to stop "reacting" (👍❤😁😢😯😡) to a picture they feel is to sexual, because it is frequently showing up on their timeline. 

I know because I don't publicly talk about sex, often. And when I do, I talk about it in creative terms & ways. Yeah I called going to see male strippers, revuing. If the term male revue become a part of pop culture's vocabulary, I have other words. *wink* 

So, me complaining about social media prudes may be a tad shocking to those outside of my inner circle. The outer circle see some "Miss Manners" juice radiating from me. Stereotypes taught them that, but knowing me debunks the stereotypes. Sorry prudes, I'm not an ally. But yeah, I agree Facebook & Twitter telling your "friends" or "followers" about what others like is annoying. They think because of similar interest, you want to know when you don't. But instead of dictating how everyone should morally act on social media, how about deleting those that are bothering them. It is your timeline & the options to streamline it are there.

Again don't understand being a prude, but social media has thungs to create your own unoffendable bubble. Make your bubble and leave others outside of it alone. Stop bothering those who aren't bothering you with those that are bothering you. Block Them!!!

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!

I Brought The Green Bean Casserole (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Recipes)

There is no secret, I am a black woman from a black family that loves Green Bean Casserole. According to "popular" opinion, my family is not "black norm". Guess what? Like me, my family has never been popular. LoL, Our favorite recipe is made by my mother. Muh Diva made it one year in the 90s. We loved it & it is a beloved Thanksgiving star on our table. Her version has a family inside joke of a mistake in it and that's why I won't ever share it. I don't feel like telling the story. I just let greatness be Great. LoL

I will say if you have had the dish at Highland Park Cafeteria(Not A Sponsor) in Dallas, then you came very close to tasting my mother's recipe.

And since she knows I love Green Bean Casserole, the wonderful owner & consultant of Diet Solutions(FB Page) asked me to try a lightened version she saw me talked about on social media before the holidays. As many recipes & pictures that Diet Solutions has let me use, of course, I would review a recipe for them. Will this be a good dish? Will the absent calories be missed? Should this version be served on Thanksgiving?

Skillet Green Bean Casserole

Ingredients

• 1 pound green beans (fresh or frozen)
• 2 (1-oz.) slices whole-wheat bread(We used toasted white wheat)
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley 
• 3 tablespoons olive oil, divided 
• 1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh garlic 
• 1 1/2 ounces Parmesan cheese (about 6 Tbsp.), grated and divided 
• 1/2 cup chopped yellow onion 
• 4 ounces white mushrooms, sliced 
• 1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch 
• 1/2 cup unsalted chicken stock (such as Swanson) 
• 1/2 cup 2% reduced-fat milk 
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 
• 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  
  
  

Directions

1. Preheat broiler to high.
2. Cook beans in a large saucepan filled with boiling water 3 minutes or until crisp-tender. 
3. Plunge beans into ice water; drain well.
4. Place bread in a food processor; pulse until coarse crumbs form. 
5. Stir in parsley, 1 tablespoon oil, garlic, and 2 tablespoons cheese.
6. Heat remaining 2 tablespoons oil in a 10-inch cast-iron skillet over medium. 
7. Add onion and mushrooms; sauté 8 minutes. 
8. Mix cornstarch, stock, and milk together. Stir in cornstarch mixture.
9. Bring to a simmer; cook 3 minutes.
10. Remove pan from heat; stir in remaining 4 tablespoons cheese, salt, pepper, and nutmeg. 
11. Add beans to pan; toss to coat.
12. Sprinkle evenly with breadcrumb mixture. 
13. Broil 2 minutes.
14. Rest for 5 minutes
15. Serve after resting

Skillet Green Bean Casserole is a delicious dish. It stands well with the beloved recipes we know. Because of green beans, onions, & nutmeg, it's sweeter taste gets to shine a bit. Having 41 calories less than most traditional recipes, your "health conscience" loved one might hug you for making this. It also is lower in sodium because of none of the ingredients from a can. I think if you pair this good & hearty casserole with a simple garden salad, you would have a nice balanced meatless meal. My household & I had it with that salad & some balsamic baked chicken. It was a hit. Because of its ease for us, it has been added to our regular recipes.

Should one make it for Thanksgiving? The politically correct answer is Yes. Whatever the Lord blesses you to have on the table that day belong. LoL But okay in my humblest opinion, unless you are serving less than 7 or 8 people, I say No. I don't recommend mass producing this casserole. Keep it simple & serve it hot.

No matter what you have on your table, remember those who are less fortunate and be grateful for whatever you have. I tell people all the time if material things are how you define the word Blessed, then your dictionary is wrong. It's my whole-hearted belief & I hope it is yours.

Be Thankful! Be Joyful! Be Blessed!

As Always Talking o You In Adult Terms

Tell Those Turkeys To Mind Their Business (Answering Questions)

It's the holiday season, guys. Time for family, friends, food, & fun and also the underlying foolishness that come along with it. But it is ok, we will get through it.

Q: My family loves to ask the most offensive questions during the holidays. I Hate It!!! How do you handle those offensive questions dealing with Dating/Marriage, Kids, & School/Career?

A: Simple Answer is "Not Well at All".

I Love my loved ones! I truly do!!! But unfortunately, I act like a jerk with those type of questions. Pray for me, you hear. I have been such a jerk, my family dislike asking me anything about me. Two of my aunts tried to talk about boys with me as a teenager. I stopped them, immediately. My sex life will never be topic I talk to everyone about. Around the same time, I observed how people were talking about those that would bring someone different all the time to family events. So, by the time I was 18, I knew not to bring no one I was dating to family events unless he & I were nearing engagement. And because of that personal rule, I have Never officially brought any man home.

Oh & when I graduated from college and many were confused that my degree was in Family & Consumer Sciences and not Nursing. I understood my extended family like great aunts, great uncles & their offsprings having questions. But I knew I had informed my immediate family about the change after I did it, two years prior to graduating. I felt unheard & ignored and some folks were told off. Pay Attention, The First Time!!! I also come from a family that have a few that loudly say, "When I graduated from high school, I was through" when anything about education comes up. I know they're not dissuading anyone from going to school, but I give them some fierce, educated side eye, whenever I hear them say that.

Don't Act Like Me!!! I do work hard at not being rude. But we must find direct & considerate ways to tell people that those questions are not something you will be talking about.

And even though I am rude if you ask me something that will offend me, I make sure I act how I want to be treated when talking to others. If you say school or work is Fine, Fine is the answer. If that person is not expecting a child, "having children" is not topic I bring up. I don't have children and believe it is more to everybody than being fruitful & multiplying. When people bring their significant others over, I engage with them. But if my loved ones have to ask me later if I like them or not. I don't offer that opinion all willy, nilly. The day I bring "The One" to a family event, I want him to be treated like I have treated others.

So, How to Handle Offensive Questions...

• Do be Direct about your feelings but not Rude
• Don't be Offensive to Others also
• And be as Loving as possible

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms