Light Skin Privileged(Answering Questions)

Time to answer your questions. And this one is a doozy.

Q: Do you believe in Light Skin Privilege? Have you ever used it to your advantage?

A: I hate Colorism. There are several posts on here stating my disdain.  If you have been with me from the beginning of this blog you know it goes under my belief, "Massa Really Screwed Us Up". And I do call it out when it comes up in my presence. I have an older relative I will stop mid-conversation if colorism comes up. And yeah, I do believe "Light Skin Privilege" exists. But I have never purposely used it to my advantage.  I hate the fetishized conversations that some like to have when "complimenting" my lighter skin. I'm not exotic.

I'm a Black American. My family's story has slavery all through it like most Black Americans. Also, my Light skin perpetuates many to assign me as a "Good Girl". I remember the first time I heard, "I know your cute light self ain't cussing. You're supposed to be playing nice". That adult didn't say crap to the girl, who was darker that was cussing also. Back then I felt non-human. Wonder what lesson did that girl learned. And of course, I have seen the lingering pain colorism has affected others. My sister & I avoid this one cashier's line when we grocery shop. She dotes on my sister's light brown eyes & my skin color to the point she starts self-hating herself. That's no advantage. It's heartbreaking to see & hear.

So, why would I ever use my light-skinned privilege to take advantage? It Hurts!

Thank you for the questions. I can't answer them without you guys. And if you ever have questions you would like for me to answer, send them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com. And I will answer them.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Bored of the Games? (Prose Corner)

I do be bored. Being on a dating app is just part of the game for me. I humble females. And Miss "CuteandReady" needed to be taken down a peg. We were supposed to meet earlier this year, but I had a wreck. I tried to follow her on IG and she came into my DMs and told me off. Something about me having her phone number didn't give me the right to find her all over the internet. I decided to take the high road & be silent, but she declined me anyway. Then her dating profile went away, too. She came back a few weeks ago after a few months. I sent her a hello and she told me I must be bored and went off again with her words. She was right, but I couldn't let her know that. Somehow I begged for a second chance at a first impression. I called or texted her every day, I think. Then finally after a week, I told her I wanted to meet up. She picked a Starbucks not far from either of us. I get there and she was there with her book club.

Fellas, if a lady ever tells you "I Pay Attention", you might need to check if she does. I told "WaitOkayGo" that, but this player didn't listen. He may have had a wreck the first time we were to meet, but that is not the whole story. He asked me out but was silent every day until that day. And I only found out about the wreck, because I was running late. Two days later I didn't hear from him, I deleted his number. A week later he found my IG. I told him off once. I think I told him everything cliche "diss" except, "I ain't no back burner chick". And He still tried to follow me 3 more times after that. And yes, I took down my dating profile. I only online date twice a year, for a month. It amazes me how engaging some people are online, but will pass you by offline. It's strange. He may be the answer to my amazement. So when I came back to the dating site, he hit me up. I gave him a 2nd chance and he communicated with me well. But many times I let people naturally tell me what I need to know. In his ramblings, he mentioned he's just bored online & scrolls and laugh at how serious some of the ladies were at finding love online. That struck a nerve. So, when he said he wanted to meet up, my serious behind and I decided to protect our hearts but hurt his feelings. And he didn't even stay & pull up a seat. Just Rude!

Playing Can Get You Played!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Didn't Forget July 3rd, 2019

I was busy on that day. That is also the day I "founded" my business, 15 years ago. So, celebrating that took precedent. But you guys know I have enough for you also.

There will be an addition to the blog. Poetry Corner will be a partner called Prose Corner. I write short stories of many genres & moods from time to time. One day, I remembered writing short stories with my high school friend, Kim (I need to look her up. Wait, I saw her grandmother in Walmart once and gave me the stink eye. Maybe I should leave her be.) about our celebrity crushes. (I think they call that Fan Fiction, now.) And now I am inspired to release some of my adult age writings. (I said some. When I leave this world, 1 of 3 certain friends will release some of the unreleased works. LoL I know they will.) I can't wait for your "feedback"

Happy Blogiversary to Thoughts of an OUTSPOKEN Diva. Here to many more posts. And Thank You for Reading It!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Toxic Church Lady Syndrome

I am just going right in. Jenna, a 19-year-old lady got fat-shamed recently by an older church member named Bonnie Sue at the Swansboro United Methodist Church in North Carolina. You can read about it HERE. When Jenna said, "Who are you", this blog post started writing itself in my brain & spirit. I'm not going to discuss fat-shaming or even church modesty. I'm also not going to talk about the possible "obvious" racial lens one could look through when watching the video tweet. I want to talk about what I call Toxic Church Lady Syndrome.

Toxic Church Lady Syndrome runs rampant in the church. Bonnie Sue suffers from it. It's the self-righteous, judgemental, negative, & fault-finding behavior that some women in church display. They hide behind church by-laws & misinterpreted scriptures to justify their opinionated actions. And it probably one of the top reasons many leave the church. I grew up with my share of Toxic Church Ladies. My internet joke of a name "ShowsMyKnees78" is because of a run-in with a Toxic Church Lady.

Toxic Church Ladies love to finger wag at what they believe is wrongdoing. But they never check their disrespectful tones and attitudes. Homosexuality may be wrong to them, but they have no right to call anyone a Sissy. A woman may be an unwedded mother. She still shouldn't be brought before the church to apologize. Is that child or disabled person really making that much noise? That constant "Shhh" is just as loud. Also, I don't like sitting on the front row, but if I have to I don't need a lap scarf. If the ministers were *hiding behind the cross" how am I tempting him? And what is the frantic deal with neckties?

There is no Love in None of That. I understand enforcing the rules and whatnot. But I need Toxic Church Ladies to sit down and truly read & study the B-I-B-L-E. One scripture that comes to mind is Matthew 7:1. That scripture should stop all our nasty opinions about others. Also, I want them to learn tact, discernment, & discretion. Bonnie Sue wouldn't have had to resign, had she considered those things & the beloved slogan, WWJD. Nothing was wrong with Jenna's outfit. But a lot was wrong with Bonnie Sue and her Toxic Lady Syndrome.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

You Can Feel It All Over(Black Music Month)

My nephew CJ, (formerly known as Monkey Toes) is a teenager now. He refers to my beloved 90s music as old school music. Once I showed me being offended and asked, "Then, what do you call 60s & 70s music"? He said, "Oh, now those are The Classics". *sigh* He knows how to compartmentalized eras of music as a teenager. I am so proud.

So, when I watched this animated show called Motown Magic on Netflix, I constantly thought about CJ. If this show was out when he was little, I think he would have had fun watching it. Motown Magic follows a wide-eyed & imaginative, 8-year-old Ben as he uses a magic paintbrush to bring the street art in a fictitious town named Motown to life.

Young viewers will get to learn about family love, creativity, and embracing self-esteem & individuality with musical tunes like ABC, My Girl, and Superstition interwoven in each lesson. It is a colorful program for the whole family to enjoy. Seriously, adults can sing their memories as the little ones learn pieces of music history.

If you ever go on social media and see young people loudly wonder who Dionne Warwick is, you'll understand why a show like Motown Magic is important.

If you see a viral video of Smokey Robinson slow grinding on stage and see the comment, "Who's Paw-Paw is that"?, you'll understand why a show like Motown Magic is important. You'll understand why a show like Motown Magic is important, as soon as hear "Before I Let Go" as Beyoncé's song and not a cover of the Maze featuring Frankie Beverly classic.

Yeah, I use the word Classic. And would rather my nephew use it, also. That means to me, he understands some music came before his time. And he understands he should respect it. That's the kind of respect You (and I) Can Feel All Over.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

That One Dreaded Dating Question

Yeah, I'm back on the dating market. I don't despise 85% of it, because I understand there is a level of work that has to be done in obtaining and becoming a life-long companion. But that other 15% gets on my nerves because it's tedious and mundane. It triggers my snarky & sarcasm sides in the worse way.

"Why are you still single" is one of those things. It is a hard question to answer without sounding like a jerk. I can't even joke my way into a nice answer.

"Why are you single"

"You see this guy right here. I dated him when I was 20. Send him a message and ask him why".

"You know that every man is not into Christian, Black, Fat, Educated, Nerdy, Awkward women, right".

"Are expecting me to actually say I'm crazy".

And I dare not to ever ask that question.

Because I know the answers I won't get but should.
"I lack real communication skills".

"I hide behind working a lot".

"Because being lazy & living off of people makes me a real catch".

No, we have very PC answers or we pass the blame onto the others we have dated before. I know I use the PC answers, myself.

I say, "I just am" or "I take dating breaks. And some may have extended longer than they should". Those answers are my truth, but they are quick & easy. And for some odd reason, we think quick & easy is a good path to a successful relationship.

And it is Not.

But we still have this dreaded question to answer.

It would be very nice if "Why are you single" left the lexicon. That question should be abolished. But until then, I guess we answer it the best we can.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Settling These Barbecue & Grilling Debates

Cookout season is well underway. I can grill, but can't barbecue. Before you ask, grilling is hot & fast and barbequing is low & slow. Either one, I have a what I think are bona fide barbeque & grilling stances on the best & worst foods to be on the grill. And yes, I said "Bona Fide".

17. Veggie Kabobs with Tofu

16. Grilled Fruit Not fan of hot fruit, except certain pies

15. Pulled Pork Number 3 should explain.

14. Grilled Desserts

13. Hot Dogs

12. Sausages & Hot Links I like them, they don't like me back

11. Steak

10. Veggie Kabobs

9. Burgers (Beef, Chicken, Turkey)

8. Grilled Fish

7. Grilled Chicken

6. Grilled Shrimp

5. Smoked Turkey

4. Ribs (Spare, Beef, Baby Back)

3. Brisket I am Texan. And truthfully, I don't want to hear your BBQ opinion if you have Never had it chopped, pulled, shredded, or sliced.

2. Smoked Chicken

1. Breaks/Rib Tips They are perfect nuggets of rib without all the bone. If Carters (Best BBQ in Dallas, Ever) were still open, a breaks basket would be so great.

I thought it would be good if I worked on this with a belly full of fruit. I was wrong. Can somebody bring me a smoked chicken sandwich with pickles? Preferably from Soulman's in Mesquite, but if you are a reader of this blog I think I'll trust your BBQ restaurant choices.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!