Nice Inspirational Eye (Answering Questions)

Yeah, I have answers to your questions. Hopefully, my answers won't cause you to have more questions about those answers. And I think just confused myself.

Q: I love your eyes on photos at a recent graduation you attended. What products did you use?

A: Oh, this old look... LoL. Thank You! It's a simple drugstore(mostly) look from eyeshadow pencils. If you are new(ish), I use mostly pencils because I have a talc allergy. And guess what is in most eyeshadows.  I warmed my crease with NYX's Jumbo Pencil in Rust. Then used Wet n Wild's Color Icon Multistick in Burning Bridge & NYX's Jumbo Pencil in Strawberry Milk. Lastly, I lined my eyes with Marc Jacobs Highliner Gel Eye Crayon Eyeliner in Blaquer. Ooh, my Strawberry Milk is getting low. Time for a new one. Oh and don't forget to blend & blend.

This Post's Video Q & A

Don't forget, if you have any questions, email them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com or leave them the comment section below or on the social media site where you see this post. I will answer them.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Grief Lessons from Chadwick, In Sickness & Health

Between 9 and 9:30 pm August 28, 2020, I saw the post from the Boseman family that Chadwick, the beloved actor had passed away from Colon Cancer. I didn't speak to anyone for an hour. I was stunned. He had been battling cancer for 4 years. On Twitter & Instagram, I shared these thoughts.

It was surreal to see this news that Chadwick Boseman had left this world. I was legitimately sad. The song All the Stars from the Black Panther Soundtrack was making me cry. I was hanging onto his inspirational words. And of course, I was upset with the chatter about his weight loss & look in latter days. Maybe this should make people stop being so meanly mouthy about their speculations anyone's life.

Then I saw the first picture on this post on Instagram and my sadness came into focus to me.

• A Person in My Age Group Died From a Disease
• Representation Matters
• Cancer Sucks 

Chadwick Boseman was sick. And anyone of us could be. That's heartbreaking but earnest to realize

Colon or Colorectal cancer is thought to be an older person's illness. However, medical research tells us that age has been getting younger since the 1990s. People my age especially black men are getting this disease. Early detection is Very important. And though we were so happy to see Chadwick Boseman "play icons to become an icon himself" we now have to let him be an illustration of mortality. There is no purple heart shape herb to bring him back. Boseman is now with Jackie Robinson, James Brown, & Thurgood Marshall in New Life.

I wish he could have been open about his illness. I can imagine the awareness that could've been brought out. The work falls on us, now. As we remember Chadwick Boseman's legacy, let's let him energize us to be our healthiest. And finding out our own health status with physical & mental check-ups should help honor his memory. He left this world, knowing and working on his, It is Our Turn.

Rest in Peace Chadwick Boseman
Thank You for Everything You Gave to This World.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

You're Absolutely Right to Use Yours

Alright, both Democrats & Republicans have had their conventions. They have laid their appeals at our feet to choose. And yes, it is time for that choice. It is time for Our Vote!!! It is time for us to vote for the President of the United States of America.

During one of the conventions, I read an article about a man who ended up paying $64 so he knew his 2020 Primary vote counted. Read about it HERE. Hey, sometimes it cost what it cost. Voting can cost time, money, and even life. It's a sacrifice many knew about. 

The political & civil rights worlds lost 3 men, Elijah Cummings, John Lewis, and Herman Cain(literally left this world because of his beliefs) in 2020. Yes, one was not on the same side of the aisle but all three worked hard to use their right to vote. They understood about the casualty all too well.

So, make sure you VOTE !!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

Well... Amen!!!

Amen is an expression of approval or permission. It means “it is so” or “so it is" in Hebrew.

They say representation matters. It does! And it is good to see your story even in the midst of chaos. As an 80s kid, I liked the comedy, Amen. I could identify a few people I saw at church (even my sarcastic grandfather) on-screen Saturday nights. Even now when I watch reruns of the show, I still see more people and situations I can relate to my life. Decades later, I did the same with the drama, Greenleaf...Saw Me. Most people watch Greenleaf on OWN and saw a story about a mega-church family. I saw it as a love letter to church kids. A little note to say...We See You, Too. Because trust me when you grow up in church, people assume your story. They never take a full gaze at it, not even other church kids. And even as Adults, Grace, Jacob, & Charity Greenleaf still needed to be seen.

I've always thought of church assignments or positions as titled crowns. Some fit and some don't. Some are earned & some are taken. Some fight for them. Some can be taken away. Some are wanted & some are needed, even if just for a moment.

Poor Charity! She was assigned a singing crown, wanted a preaching crown(since the 1st episode), took the one she wanted, got it snatched, and eventually properly offered the crown she wanted. Charity's issue was how she presented what she wanted. But Charity had to grow up & grow into a mature emotional vocabulary. Just annoyed me that it took the whole show for her to do so.

The ministry crown fit Jacob, nicely. The issue was he didn't want to wear it as others wanted him to. Ministry is not all about preaching. And Jacob knew that and wanted to explore & work in a more benevolent position. It was that simple. But sometimes society's definition of success causes a fight with the meaning of the easiest things to understand.

Grace rightly had a pastor's crown given to her by the Bishop(her dad) and the church. She could preach the house down and pastor the church properly. But how long was she needed in that position? That's a problem everywhere. Needs can have time limits. And it's for us to hear the alarms going off.

And that's why I appreciate the show, Greenleaf. It could've relied on the rape & molestation, possible murder, IRS corruption, & infidelity in the church storylines. But it didn't. It gave the characters complex lives. More than the stuff that many think the church is about.

Amen Greenleaf, Amen!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

Wanna Meet 4th Grade Me?

*a few spoilers are in here*
It's no secret that I am Not a fan of reboots. Leave Stuff Alone! And after my disappointment with Netflix's reboot of She-Ra (Why does everybody know that Aurora is She-Ra? That mystery was what made that cartoon special in the 1980s), I was fearful to watch The BabySitter's Club. I remember the summer before I entered 4th grade was when I read my first BSC book. I fell in love with it instantly. I also liked the HBO show & theatrical movie based on the books by Ann Martin.

I have a weird placement in my family. I'm the youngest of my mom's children, but one of the middle grandchildren. And being a girl between boys, many times I had to play by myself. I didn't want to play cars & Transformers all the time. By the time I was 9, I was totally over my grandmother's "fun" summertime activities (learning the books of the Bible & embroidery, snapping beans, and washing the good china). The only activities she & I agreed on was reading  & crossword puzzles.

So, I immersed myself in the world of books. The BabySitters Club series were some of the residents there. It was fun to read about girls babysitting. Most of my babysitters were elderly ladies & my sister. So, this was very different from my life. I always related to Mary Anne Spier. I wasn't shy as a child but I was still observational and I was kinda an "in a clutch"-type of person. I could/would step in so things wouldn't be messed up. Also weirdly enough I understood Janine, the older, nerdy sister of Claudia, the creative member of BSC. Though she was know-it-all wasn't mean in my eyes.

So, I sat down one late Sunday morning after church and watched the Netflix series. I avoided all think pieces, reviews, & interviews. I watched it with the fresh 40+ eyes of a book fan from long ago. I am happy I did. This modern take on BSC is refreshing. It's nostalgia for the old book lovers and a curtain-raiser for new perspectives. It takes the same path as the books with a big idea from one, expands to the main 5 members, and ends with the introduction of two more members. Each episode is told by the viewpoint of the storyline's main character like the books. There were still the universal storylines of crushes on boys, school & grades, growing up/puberty, and relatives getting older. There is the iconic clear landline phone that rings during the meetings. *ring, ring* Babysitters Club!

Oh Kristy, is still a tomboy with no sexuality assigned to her in middle school. (One day, I will have to talk about my annoyance with Hollywood trying to change the tomboy narrative & definition.) But as times have changed, some of the social issues & behaviors are different than those of the 80s & 90s. I chuckled when one of the members is punished and has to rely on a Mingo phone for communications. Also, the characters are more inclusive. Claudia & Jessi are not the only non-white BSC member. Spoiler alert: Mary Anne is biracial (Black & White) & Dawn is Latina. And the new look was not jarring for me, because the characters still act the same. That another reason why I didn't engage with anything think-pieces & reviews beforehand. I didn't want to be ticked off at any possible tone-deaf, non-book readers with an opinion.
There are also diverse types of families that need babysitters in the community. BSC Netflix answers the question, " What is a Family" very well.

A Season 2 must happen. I will windmill Netflix if it does not. We were only introduced to Mallory & Jessi becoming junior members. And they are both very important. Jessi was a black member. I may have identified mostly like Mary Anne, but I was very happy to see a black girl appear in the books. Representation has Always been important. And Mallory was also significant. Mallory was one of their clients who had a huge family. She is the only one from such a big household. And her voice is vital also.

Well, let me look at what others are saying. I'm probably the only 40+ person openly talking about this show. Keyword is...

Oh well if you will watching or have watched The BabySitters Club, let me know in the comments here or on the social media site you see this post on. And who was your favorite from the book and the show? Let's discuss our fandom.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

I Knew I Was Different

Like a long-winded preacher would say, "I won't be before you long". But umm, I want to discuss this scenario here. I saw it one evening watching comedian Shuler King's Youtube channel. You can listen to discuss his humorous feelings HERE. 

I feel she is A) Reasonable. And my answer is based on my thoughts on the "him" in this situation.

1. He probably has Never really listened to her beliefs, ideas, wants, and dreams(Especially about engagements, weddings, & marriage) while they have been together. 
2. He possibly gambles in hopes many times in life.
3. He might be controlling.

We've seen a few weddings that the husband plans and surprises his beloved with. If you ever listen to those guys talk, they all say they were successful in have those events because they intently listen to their ladies. So even if this woman expressed her desire for someone to pay off her educational debts, what did she ever say and not say about her wants for engagement & wedding bands? Looks like to me this man (I truly hope lovingly.) made an expensive decision and kinda ended up crapping out. And my antennas rose because of the debt he paid off and used it to propose with. Maybe because I refer to Sallie Mae & her niece, Navient as my pimps. I mean I and many many others basically work to pay them. Also, the way many men feel like gaining a wife is some ownership prize presses into my impressions of him. Her request for a ring sound like his girlfriend never said paying off debts was a marital requirement. So, him using canceling a student loan as an engagement chip seems ruling to me.

Well looks like if he truly wants to marry her, he should start looking for a ring. Anyone who knows this guy, tell him I did a Google search. And I found a nice diamond ring idea at Kohls(I mean $70,000 is nothing to sneeze at. He might need financial help.) I say idea because I want him to listen to whom that photo refers to as "his woman" wants. Don't let my idea mess up what little bit of a good thing he possibly still has. I just truly pray he learned the one glaring lesson in all of this. Learn to Listen, Listen to Learn.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Hey Friend! Sir, Are You a Collector?

Here's My Truth...
I am a cis-heterosexual woman who has a few cis-heterosexual men as friends but is still wary of cis-heterosexual men who have only female friends.

This is a long over-due post to the "Male Friends" out there in the world. Yes, I know "Not All Male Friends". But if the shoe doesn't fit, get your big boot out of it and go sit down so, you can read this.

Many people don't take me seriously when I say I am an observant person. My observations have heard a few men say, "I only have women as friends". And those same observations make me wait for those same men to say one of these two statements next, "I don't know why I don't have male friends" or "Dudes compete too much". (And I know that answer to your question. Because I am a woman, I know quite a few women who don't have female friends. They feel they are dramatic & messy. And yet are usually are the ones who are messy & dramatic. So, I ignore them.) Those two statements always feel funny to my ears. So, my observations have lead me to intensely pay attention.

Often times I see that they use the word friend very loosely, like a dangling pacifier. Those female buddies are actually just associates or in some cases, ladies these men just hung out, text ,and/or chatted with enough to add them on social media. It's an interesting phenomenon to see. And yeah, I have observed & talked to a few of the ladies that are the friends. Some don't realize their real position. Some don't take those guys seriously. They see the same crud I see. One gave these men the name, Female Friend Collectors. And I couldn't describe them any better. Also, it was good to know I wasn't crazy because I'm cautious with cis-heterosexual men who only have female friends.

Oh here is another one of my truths. I attract Female Friend Collectors. But because of my tendency to put many humans in a category called, "People I've Met", I tick most of them off. Nothing like a man I've hung out or chatted with off & on(more off) with for months brush me off, show up weeks later after I have moved on, interact with them at a basic cordial level and say, "Why are you acting cold? I thought we were friends".

I'm not "Female Friend Collection" material. Most women are not.

And people wonder why I have a love/hate relationship with the question, "Can men & women be friends"?. My observations tell me my answer is "It Depends on the Person".

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms