Heels for Girls

Okay today on the ABC News actually I think it was GMA this morning; there was a story about the rise in availability of heeled shoes for young girls. Some shoes are even made for three year olds. The brand they mostly focused on was Steve Madden. They are critics out there that say the heels sexualize the little girls. My eye instantly rolled. Those critics tick me off.

If you have read any of my previous blogs dealing with children, you already know I am not a parent. I have a niece who is 17 and nephew who is 7. I have a Godson who is 8. I have several God nieces ranging from 4 to 12 and God nephews 6 to 10. So, I am around kids. I have seen the heels for girls. Actually they are not new. I think in the 80's a pair of my dress (church) shoes were low wedges. I just remember at age 8 being slightly off the ground when I was dressed up on Sundays. I don't see anything sexy about those shoes. People kill me saying those shoes sexualize girls. The shoes don't make them walk sexy. The shoes don't give definition to their calves or elongate the leg. They look like kids shoes with heels on them. I think people who think that are vulgar. The reporter showed a little putting on a pair of wedge sneakers. She said she felt taller and then commences to run around in them like any other pair of sneakers kids wear. Typical childhood behavior. So, what is so sexy about that?

I don't want to hear anything about pedophile look at young girls sexually because of the shoes. Pedophiles are sick. Some can look at a baby bundled up on a blanket and have thought. Pedophilia is about control. Girls & boys without heels on are getting molested and raped. So let's debunk that excuse.

I'm not saying that girls should wear them all time. I actually think the dress shoes should be worn for Pageant and Special or Formal Occasions only. A girl should not wear them to school everyday. The wedge sneakers can go to school but also she should wear regular sneakers also. Little girls’ knees and legs need a rest. And as for a three year in some heels, that is a bit much. Three years old children can barely walk straight in bare feet. I know they are falling down in heels. I think they should be at least school age when they wear the low heels.

Oh well, again I'm not a parent. But I know many agree with me that the shoes are not sexy. If they made those shoes in Adult sizes and sexy will not be the word that comes to mind. I get tired of every little innocent thing supposedly sexualizing children. If the girl is not dress as a prostitute, stripper, or porn star with a face full of makeup then I don't think she being sexualized. Pair those shoes with a cute cupcake dress with her hair in ponytail and hair ribbons and she'll look like Easter morning or the cutest flower girl ever been seen.

Girl Code Conversation

Spoiler Alert Warning. Did you watch the latest episode of The Game? No! Did you want to? Yes! Then Stop Reading This Now!!!

On the latest episode of The Game, the singer Ciara (she plays herself on the show) finds out her friend, Keira, slept with a guy, Blue, she slept with previously. She didn't handle it well. Keira's defense was she only Ciara only slept with him once in a One Night Stand situation. Ciara still felt that "The Girl Code" was violated and currently not speaking to Keira

Ladies, are we having the "Girl Code" conversation with our friends? I know I've touch on this subject before but it seems like it needs to be discussed in depth. What is the Girl Code? Yes, it a good show on MTV that came out ten years to late. I could have been GREAT on that show. I am talking about THE GIRL CODE.  According to Internet and me, Girl Code is the rules of female friendship Every Girl should know. Madame Noire gives a good top ten list (http://madamenoire.com/44987/girl-code-10-friendship-commandments-every-girl-should-know/). Check it out! So, we know what it is, well at least the top ten. Do you have a code? Are we actually talking about them with our friends? Do we just wait until a random subject arises and talk about them? Do you wait until a problem arises and talk about them?

I don't think You can't get mad at the offenders of the Girl Code in your life if you never say I follow these set of rules. It didn't seem like Ciara & Keira did. Girl Code seems not to be always universal. Every Friendship (actually every person) bases their codes on different set of rules. Some folks share men/women within the friendship. Some people are okay if you date their ex. I have friends that it is understood don't touch my man, exes, crushes or any man I've ever slept with (even the whack ones). Some friends I've had to "Girl Code" about a man. My friends know we're not Twins or a Singing Group and I don't want to dress alike. I don't even want to be in the same color most times. Somebody has to change. I have and I will again. I have friends who feel whatever they tell you it is okay to tell and talk about it with others in the group when they other are around. I also have a friend or two that will beat everybody involved if they find you said they said they sneezed. My friends know that if they get the disclaimer "I Bet Not Hear This Again" from me, then mums the word. No disclaimer, then it a free for all to tell.

The "Girl Code" Conversation is more than just a Do/Don't list do this to be friends with anyone. It should be an open discussion to help strengthen your friendship or let people realize we are not a good fit to be friends. A lot fights could be avoided if ladies were having a Girl Code conversations.

What is your Girl Code with your friends? Has anyone ever broken your Girl Code? Are they still your friend? Have you ever been a Girl Code Offender? Leave a comment below and then go have a Girl Code talk with your friends, even if you've had it before. You never know somebody might need a reminding. *smiles*

Happy to be in My Thirties, Today!!!

*Warning: If you watch "The Game" on BET or "How Men Become Dogs" on the Issa Rae channel on YouTube and are not current... Spoiler Alert!!!*

Popular television has made me Realize, I am Glad I am out of my 20's. I am so glad I did what 20 - 29 year olds do when they are that age. I went where they go when I was in my 20's. And mostly elated I learned what I needed to know then Because, I plan not to go back.

On the show "The Game", there are two characters Blue & Keira. Blue is a rookie football player and Keira is a former child star, trying to get back in the business. He was very attracted to her while; she was still on the fence. Along the way they have struck up a friendship that ended up with them on one random, unplanned night, having sex. Keira was virgin and Blue didn't know that fact. He finds out from another player, Malik, because Malik thought he was lying on her. Blue confronts Keira and angrily tell her they can't be friends because she didn't tell him. After finding out both side of the story, Malik explains to Keira why Blue is mad. Men supposedly don't want to be a woman's first because the woman become clinging. Keira ends up drunk and want to talk to Blue. After throwing up on his floor and his jeans, Blue and Keira decide friendship is not bad.

Now the age I am now, I don't understand why he was so upset. This is why you don't randomly have sex with anyone out having Sex Talks. Everything we do has consequences. Unplanned Sex is not an exception to the rule. It's probably one of the reasons why there is a rule. Upset because she didn't tell him she was a virgin. That's why you don't assume. Before people have sex with anyone they even think they want to have sex with better ask questions. One never know what cards could get laid out. Even as friends, he could find out. Friends talk about their sex lives. Keira is wrong also. You have one first. Nobody should be that willing to give it up that they don't think to speak up. What if it was not all that grand? And I'm going to leave it at that.

Now a web show called "How Men Become Dogs", we have Cameron who has been dumped by his girlfriend Jessica for not being aggressive enough. Cameron and his friends start taking "Dog" classes. Well while taking classes Cameron starts secretly seeing Jessica's friend, Brandy. Brandy approached him at a party and gave him her number and that is the start of their secret rendezvous. At a pool party, Jessica finds out about Brandy and Cameron. While Cameron is clearly dealing with seeing Jessica, Brandy comes by and tell Cam she talked to Jessica and basically got a go ahead. She wants to know if she is only the rebound chick also confesses her love for him. He tells her he's not sure what love even is. She tells him to get his feelings together or lose her too.

I need to know Brandy so bad. Brandy needs to be my cousin or niece so, I could teach her The Girl Code & How to know you are the Rebound. The Girl Code to date your friend's ex is simple; Don't!!! Rebound status is almost as simple. Any point when a person is willing to creep with you, a red flag needs to go up. If you try to confront your issues with the creeping and they blow you off, a red flag should go up. If they go MIA after seeing their ex, a red flag needs to wave high. Cameron is a mess too. No, he is the mess. I don't care if you trying to be a dog. Dogs got to heal too. How about before he took the "dog" classes, he should have gotten himself together. People are going to learn not to make decisions with a broken heart.

Now y'all understand why I don't miss my 20's. I saw the light bulb come on when I turned 30 but, I never thought about the lessons I have already learn. Never thought about how clear they would become when seeing others make crazy mistakes (even if they are on TV). Oh well, onto learning more from my 30's. Got a while before 40 and I bet older Outspoken_Diva is laughing at me now.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Big Brother Pride

Okay if you "know" me offline & are a Facebook friend or "know" or "don't know" offline & follow me on Twitter, you know I am a fan of the show Big Brother. I think is the Ultimate mind screw of a game. I didn't start watching until Season 6. My mother watched it so I decided to join her and I like it. I haven't missed a year since. This year I have to say I am very proud of the show this season.

First, I am proud that they finally put an OutSpoken_Diva approved Eye Candy. His name is Howard. I have not had an Eye Candy in the house since Marvin of Season 5. He is very handsome, has a nice smile and has great muscles. Oh and he has a well worned Bible. Since Season 5 until now Season 15, I've just had watch the game for the game. So this season Big Brother did well. Howard is playing a good game so far. He's floating but some of the houseguests this season are so thick headed, it easy for him to float. According to the spoilers, I think he will strike soon.

Okay that is the fun reason to be proud of Big Brother. My second reason is not so jovial. Big Brother is not absent of controversy. I know the reason why the cooking utensils are hard plastic is because a houseguest in season 2 tried to attack another with a kitchen knife. This season racism and homophobia is some what rampant. It's just the beginning weeks of the game. They just eliminated the first houseguest out the house Wednesday. Two house guests have been heard making fun of a Chinese-American houseguest and a Black Houseguest looks. They've said that the two Black houseguest will stick together. One said to the other that the Chinese-American houseguest should "shut and go make a bowl of rice". The other one asked her racist buddy did she want a manicure in a stereotypical Asian accent.  One of the racist has also made homophobic remarks referring the only known gay houseguest. She called him a "queer". Another guy made gay slurs around the gay houseguest, while joking with him. So I think that will not be deemed as homophobic to some. The Online media has had a field day writing articles about what is heard on the feeds. The two houseguest that made the derogatory comments have been fired from their jobs. The house guest who made homophobic remarks to the gay houseguest, job has spoken out against what was said but id fire him. A former houseguest, who is also gay, wrote CBS an open letter about his disgust with the comments and not edit said comments out of the show and show America who these people really are. CBS & Big Brother did just that.  They aired the two houseguest lowly saying their horrible remarks. One of the houseguest they don't see hearing them, is the Black houseguest named, Howard. On the taped show we see him in the Diary Room giving his opinion about what he heard. He is upset and had thoughts of acting accordingly but he knew he said he would lay low and let them shoot themselves in the foot. Looks like he's been ready that well worned Bible of his by acting rationally in the game. I have strange feeling if Howard becomes HOH and they are still in the house, he will put them up on the block for just that very reason.

Big Brother knows how to make a Diva happy. I was already upset because Big Brother After Dark was moved from Showtime 2 (a channel I have) to TVGN (a channel I don't have) before the season started. Proper Eye Candy and showing houseguest for who they really are is a good thing. It is one thing to give a statement about not standing by what is said in the house. Embarrassing them around the country is another. Oh well, people are going to learn. It doesn't pay to be hateful.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Her Sneaker Laces are Tied Tight. Let's Filibuster!

Okay Wendy Davis, a state senator of Fort Worth, Tx, is filibustering a new bill against Abortion in Texas. You can watch it live right HERE . It is restrictive. The bill says that a woman can not get an abortion past 20 weeks of pregnancy and all abortions have to be done at a surgical clinic. That affects 47 of the 52 clinic in Texas.

I am against Abortion but I think like all things wrong that is a human choice to do so. God gave us Free will to right and wrong. It's not for me to judge a woman who decides what to do with her body. So yes, I support Wendy Davis!!! This bill will push many women to go back to the back alleys to get this procedure. Most Surgical Clinics that perform abortions only do it in serious medical cases. For example if the mother is dying, they will remove the baby. Also with only 5 clinics being open (if this bill passes), it limits safe locations for women to do so. This bill does not make women choose other options. It makes them desperate. There was a lawmaker calling doctors who perform abortions, "Bottom Feeders". If this bill passes, lawmakers are giving the real bottom feeders (those that perform abortions illegally) some real business.

I rather a woman give a baby up for adoption, if she chooses not to raise a child for whatever reason. But since abortion is legal, I'd rather a woman be a safe as possible having one. This bill limits her safety.
Go Wendy!!!


As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Living with Your Folks!!!

You know I swear people on Twitter use Direct Messages (DM) to hide. Well I had a follower to DM me and I guess he figured out that I still lived at home with my folks, Umm Yeah! That's not a secret. How do you think I know what my mother and grandmother are watching on TV? I'm not married or have children so, who do you think I am doing at that cooking for?

When I graduated from college, I didn't have a job lined up. So, I moved back home to live with my mother, my ailing 80-plus year old grandparents and my older brother who is severely mentally challenged and has cerebral palsy. It was temporary, I thought. Soon my choice became my family's blessing in disguise. My grandfather was dying. He was going to bathroom one morning and he fell. Luckily, I was there to get him up & call my mom & aunts at work to get him the hospital. My grandfather passed away a month later. I took the phone call from the hospital, had to tell my grandmother and call mom at work so she could round up the family. That was 2004. Oh yeah I cooked meals and Helped get my brother get cleaned and ready for the day since I was unemployed. Keyword is Helped. But now I was in charge of running a household because my grandmother became grief stricken and her health started taking a strange turn after the funeral. I cooked meals, organized Dr. appointments, meds, phone calls, mail, cleaned & dress my brother (imagine an adult with a toddler's mind that just happens to know you are the little sister) and did the bulk of the shopping. And that summer I started a business. So I was like a working mother without a husband.

Let's Skip to the Spring 2010, my mother's job had her working from home. She is weeks from retiring. My grandmother falls. We thought she was okay. Boy, were we wrong. That was the start of what later would be a 4 month long hospital and nursing rehab stay because before the summer ended she had to have her gall bladder removed and therapy on her legs. That November they sent her home with a wheelchair. My mother is now retired so there are two hands on deck. My grandmother can dress herself. But she still requires some of the same duties my brother needs. Lord, I love retirement.

I don't regret staying at home. It's not as hard as it seems. Other than the household chores, we live like roommates. I still have my business, go out on occasion with my friends, and go to church when I can. Our other family members help out, too. It's just my life and I live it.

So before you judge people for Staying Home with Their Folks, learn their story. Everyone is not just staying home because they don't want to grow up. Some of us are there because our Adult responsibilities different.  Different not trifling. Now, let me start dinner.  *smiling*

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

The Church Switch

I am in the population of people who does not attend the church that I grew up in. I only go to that church for weddings and funerals. It was a decision that was years in the making. But a decision that I will never regret and helped form my spiritual being.

I grew up in a traditional Southern Missionary Baptist church. Being the daughter of an Assistant Youth Director and the granddaughter of the Chairman on the Deacon Board and the Church Clerk, 1/3 of my week belonged to the church. I was baptized at eight years, got saved at 13 years old, and caught the Holy Spirit for the 1st time at 16 years old. I was a Youth Usher, Youth Announcement Clerk. I was a substitute BTU (Baptist Training Union) & Children's Church activity leader. I participated in Sunday School & Youth Mission activities at my local church, district, citywide & national events  I did welcomes, speeches, narrations, and devotions. I was upfront and center all the time. 

Somewhere around 14 or 15, I realized I didn't really fit in. My thinking was different from my church peers and church family. I believe in the basics that were taught but the methods & programs, I could not agree with. They weren't wrong, they just were not me. It was hard feeling like that but the older I got the more dissatisfied I was. Soon I realized I could care less about being Baptist. It was more for me to experience in worship. I wasn't ingesting and digesting what was fed to me well. It needed to be something on my level.  I also felt like All Christianity denominations were not necessary. When we get to Heaven, we won't be segregated, why the separation on Earth? So, I decided to bide my time and soon as I could I was leaving. I told no one of my feelings and my decision (Many still don't know and really understand, Oh well!!). When I went off to college I went to church with my friends of other denominations and that furthered my thoughts about my "Christian Church Separation" issue. Matter of fact I decided that Christian Denominations and Street Gangs are alike. I graduated college and returned to church home but that lasted a year and a half. It was me not them. That sounds Cliche' but it is Very True. I had to admit it finally: "I just wanted to be a Christian".

I left there and now I attend a Non-denominational Christian church. I love it. The funny thing is I was not looking to ever go to this church. I only went with my male BFF one New Years' Eve because he just had to go when he moved to the Metroplex. No, I don't get to go all the time (Thank God for Web Streaming & Rebroadcasts). One day I'm going to join a ministry. I'm thinking Medical. What I don't want to be is in front all the time. It feels good to sit there and just take it all in. I'm at the point in life that God's people don't need to hear from me right now. Let them hear from someone else. He has something else for me to do and the "church" limelight is not where I need to do it right now.

I know some people will Never understand people like me. To them, it is like I gave up on my foundation church. To them, it is like I threw a wealth of church knowledge & training away. That is not what I did. I used it to boost me in my Christian growth. If one truly wants to know what anyone who has left knew or that they felt they need help or support felt them in any way. I feel one should ask at least first. I know I don't have to be there physically to support anyone. I just don't like when people feel slighted because someone leaves a church for another church. One never knows what God is ordering them to do. Families support their loved ones in pursuits to better themselves. Church families should Not think any different when it pertains to true Christian growth.

I Thank God for my childhood church. I learned so much from it, in words and experiences. As you see I called it "Foundation Church". Because as I add to this building, I have a strong foundation to build upon. It doesn't crack or shift. I know a few people who have cracked and many that don't have a foundation at all. So I'll never forget about my Foundation Church. It's what holds this building up. You never know when you have to rely on a good hymn or action song to get you through. :)

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms