Now If I Acted Like Miss Piggy… Yeah Sis, Bro, I’m Ok, but I Shouldn’t Have to Be

Want to know how Miss Piggy handles Catcalling & Street Harassment click Here 

Thursday, July 10 at 12 p.m. EST, News One will host a Twitter chat on Black women and street harassment. Follow the conversation at #YouOKSis on Twitter.com.

I get tired of people not understanding that Women, Gay Men and their bodies are Not a free for all, disrespectful playground. I’ll never understand when Street Harassment became the norm for vile and vulgar men & women (Yes, there are populations of lesbians are doing it women too.) to do. Grabbing somebody by the arm, saying “Say, Say. Give me those tens” is a gross form of how you should ask for a date. It’s even worse to call the person “Stuck up” or insults the person with profanities just because they don’t want to get to know you. They know enough. You are ignorant. Who wants to date anyone ignorant? Sad part is we've become a fearful population that if we complain, we are the bad guys. If we don't respond to these harassers with a “Yes” we are part of the problem. I’m tired of hiding my cell phone because I have to give some fool a fake number and just in case he call it to see if my phone will ring so I can feel safe. I’m tired of seeming like I might snap wild if you speak to me in public. This is crazy. Street Harassment is humiliating and can be dangerous.

To the men & women who are not doing it getting upset because awareness and discontinuing it is being discuss. You are not helping at all. Saying stuff like “If he was cute, it would be okay, “Not all Men are doing that”, “This is a Device from the White man to keep Black folks from dating”. Instead of getting upset, listen and help stop this heinous act. You know many that do it and not saying anything to them & continuing to hang with someone who does. You know that is a low-key way to say you agree. Many of you complainers have never had one discussion about Street harassment with a young man who does it or young women who has or might experience. How many of you have told a girl, you know about Street Harassment. Yet you can fix your mouth to complain or defend your right not to want to hear about it. Here is an article for you to read http://newsone.com/3033217/youoksis-feminista-jones-street-harassment-notjusthello/

I know about Street Harassment to well. I still remember when it was just referred to as “Cat Calling” (Which very gross and derogatory term in itself. And men have the nerve not to want to be referred dogs.) in Pop Culture. Miss Piggy experienced the “classic” definition of 1980’s Cat Calling. All she was trying to do was spy on Kermit and these construction workers (the "classic" face of Cat Calling) are interrupting her in a vulgar manner. Now days Miss Piggy would get arrested for going off. It's bad that as a child I understood what those guys were doing was wrong. Street Harassment happens everywhere. The street, grocery store, the mall, hallways of the middle & high schools, the paths of the local university (Yes, that group of guys standing around the front of the Science or English building always have something to say), bus stops, and many other places. The bus stop was where my worse encounter happened.

It was the first time I unloaded my pepper spray on anyone. I don’t drive. So I was waiting on the bus for my morning commute to summer school at one of the community colleges one summer. A car slowed down and the driver rolled down the window and spoke. Anything people know about me is I don’t answer to “Hey Baby”, “Say Baby”, “Psst (that makes me furious and has gotten some people cussed out)”, etc., or talk to people who want to converse from their cars or have grabbed my hand as I was walking by. The guy, who was Hispanic (It’s not just black guys but you knew that) said “Can I have your number”. I said “No”. He asked “Did I need a ride”? I said, “No, Thank you”. He said “Well fine then” and drove off. He made the block came back and said “Are you sure” I said “Yeah, I’m sure”. After that I thought he was gone. Nope, he was just getting started. He decided to drive around the block to taunt me 3 times before the bus came. I boarded that bus so quick and went to school. Hours later I’m coming home and I decided to get off a few blocks from my stop because the bus driver was taking his 15 minute break. It’s hot and as heck and low and behold here is the guy from earlier. He slowing down and I keep walking. He saying “Hey Baby. Give me your number”. I keep walking. He stopped the car and gets out and is walking towards me. I am 8 steps away from turning onto my street. He said “Look B-word. I’m talking to you”. I unloaded the Pep Squad on his face. This is the Pep Squad. 

 My sister gave this to me when I first went off to college. I took off to my home. I didn’t know if he saw where I went. I didn’t know if he would be back for me the next day. I stayed scared for weeks. I never saw him again, Praise God. Oh yeah, y'all know I stay in the hood, right. Where were the loitering fools around the bus stop and liquor store that day? Right there laughing at the encounter that afternoon. Nobody asked me was I ok or needed help. Matter fact I bet dollars to donuts, one of those guys probably asked me for my number prior to or after the incident. To them, I’m just a bougie chick that just went off that day. No, I was fed-up chick spraying for my safety.

All this because I said No. I said it was my worse. My worse was very extreme. It is not my only. I don't know any lady or Gay man that has not experienced this crap. Crazy part is is so common they may not even recognize it as wrong. 

What is wrong with No? No, First off, what was wrong with you approaching me with a “Hello, How are you”, away from your car? Then what was wrong with me rejecting you. I have the right to say No!!! I have the right Not to Fear for my life because I said No!!! Everybody has those rights. No One has the right to harass anyone for a date, though.

Yeah sister & brother, I am ok. But I really want People stop that. Cat Calling, Heckling for Dates all Street Harassment is wrong. It very disrespectful. Its cliché’ to ask but would you want anyone to do that to your mother or father? Don’t answer that because many of you don’t respect the well-being of your family members. It past just a "hello". It's past "you were just speaking" It is your speech that it the problem. It's disrespectful. It’s about respect. What is wrong with Respect???

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Anita Hill Salute

Who in the early 90’s didn't know anything about Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill? Thurgood Marshall passed away, so there was a vacancy on the Supreme Court. George H. W. Bush, then president nominated a Clarence Thomas for the vacancy. Toward the end of the confirmation hearings, a FBI interview with Anita Hill was leaked. Hill, an attorney, had worked for Thomas at the Department of Education and had subsequently moved with Thomas to the EEOC. After the leak, Hill was called to testify at Thomas's confirmation hearings. She testified that Thomas had subjected her to comments of a sexual nature, which she felt constituted sexual harassment or at least "behavior that is unbefitting an individual who will be a member of the Court." Hill was the only person to testify at the Senate hearings that there had been unsolicited sexual advances. The final floor vote was: 41 Republicans and 11 Democrats voted to confirm while 46 Democrats and two Republicans voted to reject the nomination. Newspaper coverage of Thomas's private life was limited after he was confirmed. But more importantly the conversation and laws about sexual harassment have change. For me personally it introduced me into the worlds of Misogyny and The Battle of the Sexes.

I was a young girl in the salon one day when Anita Hill came up. It was the popular topic at the time. Okay, the salon I went to then was half salon and half barber shop. Ms. M and Ms. C were the stylist. Ms. M did my hair then. Ms. C also worked at the Post Office. Mr. L was the barber. Well, that day it was a few men in the barber area and the topic came up. Well Mr. W who was retired from the railroad, said “That Anita Hill ain’t doing nothing but the work for the white man, trying to keep the Black man down”.  Ms. C jumped up and said “Do what? So, you think she’s lying” He said “Yeah, She lying. Sexual Harassment that some White boy sh*t” Before I knew it, I was being rushed under the dryer for 20 minutes by Ms. M and she joined in. After that 20 minutes under the hair dryer, they were still “discussing” that topic. Ms. C was breaking down how men told dirty jokes all the time at the expense of their female colleagues. Sometimes when delivering mail how she had been cat called. Mr. W was steady saying that was different. Ms. M was steady asking how it was any different. Then she called him a hypocrite. She pointed at me and said, “You always telling little girls like her, not to let little boys talk to you anyway and paw at you on the street, but it’s okay for a grown man to do the same then to a grown woman”. I was sitting there thinking (with my nose in a magazine because back then children were seen not heard in adult conversations) “She’s right”. Mr. W was silent after that. But Ms. C. finally said “So it ain’t just White boy sh*t, Black men do some vulgar sh*t too. And that woman was right to tell what he did. Maybe they will give him the “right” clerk in the Supreme Court and he figure how to change his conversation”. And that was the end of discussion and I finished getting my hair done by Ms. M and Mr. L went back to cutting another man’s hair. Yeah I missed the middle, but I have a feeling I came in on the important parts.

I don’t know what it is about men that think they can say any old thing to women. Cat Calling, Dirty Jokes, and random inappropriate touching are some of the most vulgar things women must endure from men. Ms. M was right. Many older men like Mr. W would tell girls and young women not to let guys do those things. My grandfather constantly drilled us not to answer to some guy honking his horn at us and warned my male cousins not to honk their horns at women. That was rare. Most men didn’t tell the boys anything like that. Boys will be boys was the name of the game and the game is still being played. The same boys that whistle at and hit girls on the butt are same ones that tell filthy jokes and pass dirty emails to their female subordinates. These same men are shocked about being called into HR about sexual harassment. What do you mean they are wrong? They’ve been allowed to act like that for years. After all these sexual harassment laws were passed and a clear definition of sexual harassment was set I playfully thought about suing the boys that slapped me on the butt or touched my breast without being asked. I think that would have gave them the right message that me angrily cussing and punching them was not giving. Yeah, the thought or suing crossed my mind again. D-word court cost is what hinders me.

So yeah, I salute Anita Hill and any woman not taking men’s vulgar crap from them anymore. It may have been on Capitol Hill, a courtroom, HR, a barber shop or a street corner. Women are not having it.  Men need to know that this is not allowed. Everywhere is not a porn film, strip club, bedroom, or the lewdness in their minds. Women should be Respected. Sad, we have to go to these kind of measures to demand it.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms